Chapter 20

Settling In - Part Two

Jamie decided he wanted to unpack all his things into his "brilliant" room, right away and since Harry said he'd help him, Hermione decided she would go unpack her stuff as well. When she asked him where her room and he'd said next door to the left, she wasn't sure what to say or how to feel; she knew that was Harry's room.

"I'm down the hall." He'd replied, seeing her eyes.

So she'd gone next door and was herself greeted with a surprise. She'd slept in that room many times before, but had never seen it looking like this. It was clean, and new and looked amazing. The walls were a pale cream colour, which contrasted nicely with the deep red colours of the curtains and the soft carpet. The four-poster bed was draped in an amazingly intricate lacy material on top of cream, silk, sheets. There were two small prints on the wall, which complemented the décor but which Hermione would have picked purely on artistic merit. There was a piano in the corner, and a separate door into her walk-in wardrobe, and adjoining en-suite. Little lights had been magically placed in different places around the room and there was even a photo of Jamie by her bed. It must have taken him hours, even using magic. Tears leaked from her eyes for the second time in as many hours as she looked at her new bedroom.

An hour or so later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

The door opened and there stood her boys. Your boy Hermione! Not your boys! Your boy- and his father-who is being exceptionally kind to you considering what you've done, so don't blow it! Jamie came into her room first, while Harry stood watching her from the door.

"Your rooms nice too Mum..." said Jamie "But mine's better". They all smiled.

"Do you like it Hermione?" Harry asked her, his voice quite low.

"It's wonderful Harry - thank you."

"Can I go play in my room Dad?" Jamie said.

That shocked him a bit, Hermione noticed.

"Course you can" Harry said smiling.

So Jamie left to go play, leaving Harry and Hermione in her room. They both noticed. Harry, however, had already decided what he was going to say. It just took him a few minutes to actually speak.

Hermione had continued to unpack while Harry was gathering his thoughts, but she was just as aware as he was that there was an air of unease in the room.

"Hermione"

"Yeah" she said, not looking at him.

"I wanted to talk to you about before, at the house." He was staring at her, but she carried on folding clothes, appearing not to notice, so he continued "...Well the kiss really-" She was still folding. "Well... are you mad?"

She stopped and looked at him. "What?"

"Are you mad-that I kissed you?"

"No." she said and he smiled. Then she looked at him and her eyes told him that what she was going to say, he wasn't going to like. "...But it can't happen again."

"Why the hell not?" Harry countered, moving towards her.

"Because of Jamie"

WHACK. He'd not expected that.

"What do you mean?" he asked her, his voice no longer angry or annoyed, but concerned.

"Jamie's whole life has just changed Harry. He's getting to know you, moving house, he's gonna have to settle in a new school, make new friends-"

"Yeah-" Harry said interrupting "-Why does that mean-"

"Because" Hermione said, interrupting him "he doesn't need any more change – he needs consistency and support and that's not something we can give him if we're... well – if we're doing stuff like that." Her words hung in the air.

"But-"

"But nothing. We'd argue or fight and I will never subject him to that."

"Just because your-" But he already knew her mind was set.

"You can't tell me that if we're anything other than friends, it won't be complicated because it would be complicated. You know it would."

"It could be a good complicated 'Mione" Harry said pleadingly, sadly.

"I won't have him growing up in a house with constant rows Harry. I won't do that to him – it's horrible and I won't put him through it."

So he left.

She cried of course, for that which she would never have. But she'd had to make a choice and decided; it was for the best. The best for Jamie and probably the best for Harry and herself; it was certainly going to be easier.

He was gutted as well. He'd expected her to dismiss him and so he wasn't that surprised. But he had let himself hope. Since the kiss, since she kissed him back, he'd let himself dream that she would want to be with him. That they could be together again. He dreamed they'd be a real family and when Jamie'd hugged them both he let himself believe that one day they really would be a proper family. His family. But she didn't want that, because she didn't want him. She'd already given up a lot so Jamie could get to know him properly and he decided that was that. They'd be friends. He'd try to make her happy as a friend and try to make sure she didn't regret coming home. It didn't matter if it was going to kill him on the inside, he just had to be a grown up and accept it.