She doesn't go in through the lobby. Doesn't patiently wait for the elevator and organize her thoughts on the way up. She uses Jean's powers to blow open a window in the common room.
St. John sits on the couch with his notebook. He grins at the shards of glass now decorating the carpet and then up at her floating before him, her body outlined in pink fire.
"Congrats, girlie, looks like you're really one of us now."
She stares at his teeth, his curled lips.
St. John laughing as the guard begs for his life…
She wants to ram his pen through his heart.
As soon as she thinks it it's jerked from his hand.
It hovers between them pointed at his chest.
He smiles again, narrows his eyes.
"Yeah. You're one of us all right…"
NO.
Ah'm not.
The pen falls.
He smirks, catches her sleeve as she passes and holds on tight.
"Did they scream? Tell me they screamed…"
She yanks her arm away and makes a motion to shove him back. He flips off the couch and slams into the wall behind it. She steps over him, making her way to Mystique's office, the halo of energy around her body buzzing and crackling with fury.
She waves her hands and the doors fly open. She has to restrain herself from ripping them off their hinges and hurling them at Mystique who is sitting at her desk, a coffee cup poised before her lips.
"What is it with you kids and property damage?"
The cup shatters with a thought.
"There were no hostages."
Mystique takes a deep breath, brushes the droplets of coffee off her blouse and calmly sets the handle of the broken cup down on the desk.
"No."
"The X-Men are not terrorists."
"Depends on who you ask."
"You lied to me."
"Ro-"
"You lied." Do not cry. Do not fucking cry. "An' the part that really confuses th'hell outta me is that ya must've known Ah'd find out th' second Ah touched her… ya must've known Ah'd see… Didja really think Ah'd go through with it after that?"
"Yes."
She stares at her.
Don't cry, don't cry…
"Then ya don't know me at all."
"Rogue, listen to me. I never would have asked you to harm Gambit if it weren't of the utmost importance. I knew it would be hard for you but there was no other way to get you in. I thought it would be easier for you to betray him if you thought…" She sighed. "I had hoped that when you saw inside Jean Grey's head, you would trust that there was good reason behind what I was asking you to do. I had hoped that you would trust me and follow through with the plan despite what you saw… But you didn't did you?"
She raises her chin, her eyes hard.
"No."
"I only lied about there being hostages, Rogue. The X-Men did attack us-"
"Because you were killin' innocent people!"
"They were far from innocent."
They weren't members of the MCA… they were just doing their jobs…
"They had nothin' to do with those trackin' devices!"
"They were employed by the company that made them. It was our intention to send the MCA a message-"
"In blood?"
"Those tend to be the ones that aren't ignored."
"Y'just feedin' their fear! No wonder they wanna keep tabs on us! No wonder they hate us!"
"We didn't start this fight, Rogue."
"But you're gonna finish it, huh?"
"We will do whatever it takes to ensure that our people will not be harmed or persecuted in any way. We are the future, not them."
"God… who are you…" she whispers.
"I am a soldier, Rogue. I do what needs to be done."
"Even if it means hurtin' people."
"Why should you care about them? All they've ever done is hurt you. Those girls in the orphanage you told me about, that janitor who couldn't keep his hands to himself. The woman who ran the institution for Chrissake must have known about all of it. And did she help you? Did she care enough about you to try and make it stop? As for your foster families - how many were there now? - They all sent you back because they sensed something was different about you. They didn't want you because they realized you were not like them. None of those people cared about you-"
"The Bennetts did. The Bennetts-"
"Just needed a babysitter. Notice how as soon as you were unable to go near their child they dumped you back where they found you."
The stinging in her eyes is getting worse, she can barely choke out, "Then what about Cody… and Deacon… they didn't want anything from me, they just wanted to be my frien-"
"Had they known what you are they would have spit in your face. They would have turned their backs on you just like everyone else."
"No…"
"Child, wake up. This is the world we live in. The history of the human race is one fraught with racism and intolerance. Peaceful coexistence is impossible. The X-Men believe otherwise, but they are wrong. They are misguided and foolish-"
"An' ya wanted me to get rid o' them because they were in y'way… Because they were protectin' those people…"
"Our job is hard enough without having to worry about the X-Men ruining everything. They needed to be taken care of."
"Ah can't believe this… Ah can't believe the words that are comin' outta y'mouth… Y'told me when Ah firs' came here that ya protected mutants-"
"They aren't giving us much choice, Rogue. They're strong… too strong. You are the only one who can take them down-"
"So all this time… bein' nice to me, treatin' me like…" she swallows, her eyes finally brimming over, "like a daughter… Tellin' me all that crap 'bout how we were destined t'care fo' each other and stand by each other… It was all bullshit. All ya've ever wanted from me was mah power-"
"Rogue, that's not true. My feelings for you are genuine. I won't deny that we need your gift, that it is beneficial to us, but please know that that is not all you are to me-"
"How could Ah possibly believe anythin' you say again!"
"It's the truth."
She snorts and angrily pushes the tears from her cheeks with the heels of her palms.
"Well Ah've got one for you. Ah'm leavin' this place - you - all of it."
"I can't let you do that. The MCA is only getting stronger - the destruction of the devices is only a minor setback, they'll make more-"
"An they'll send them out t'another warehouse and y'all will kill y'selves some more security guards. Fuck that, Mystique, and fuck you. Ya can't make me work fo ya!"
"Yes, I can, Rogue."
She lifts a remote control from her desk and points it at the screen on the opposite wall.
"Ah know there's someone there!"
Rogue whirls around at the sound of the voice.
There is a girl on the TV. A girl in a white room standing in front of a door with no handle. She has long dark hair…
"Dammit, Ah can hear ya!"
She turns suddenly and looks up at the camera bolted into the corner of the cell. She gives the camera the finger with both hands.
Deborah.
"No…"
"Lemme out!" Deborah picks up one of the chairs and flings it against the door. She stands there for a moment, staring at it, her shoulders shaking. She's sobbing. "Jus' tell me what ya wan't…"
She can't move. She feels like she's going to throw up.
"I didn't want it to come to this, Rogue. I had hoped that we had bonded enough for you to trust me. I had hoped that you would come to see things as I do, and fight with us willingly-"
Deborah… Deborah missing for months, and all this time…
"It was you… y'kidnapped her… you…" She turns back to Mystique, weak with shock, her voice barely more than a whisper. "How could y'do this…"
"We have to win, Rogue. We need you to do it."
"Let her go."
"Will you stay?"
"Yes."
"Good." Mystique sets the remote down on the desk and leans back in her chair.
She stands there waiting in the silence, still feeling sick, still unable to move. She swallows.
"So ya'll let her go right? Ah said yes so she can go…"
"Rogue."
She closes her eyes.
"We need to be sure you'll do your job."
-/-
Deborah…
All this time she's been here… somewhere in this building… locked away fo' months…
Because of me.
Because Mystique wanted me.
She had asked if she could see her and she said no.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want you getting any ideas about breaking her out. She is perfectly well cared for, Rogue. We have done nothing to her."
"How long you plannin' on keepin' her locked away!?"
"As long as it takes."
She sits beside the pool on the roof of the penthouse watching the water ripple in the quiet breeze. The noise of the city seems so far away, just a dull murmur, a buzz, a hum. She wants to lose herself in it, wants to close her eyes and be swept away by the crowd until she's somewhere else, until she's someone else.
But she can't.
She can't go down to the street. She can't even go to her apartment. She has to stay. Mystique informed her that all of her things would be brought to the penthouse this afternoon.
"A separate apartment is not necessary when everything you could possibly want is here."
She's just as trapped as Deborah and always has been. She just hadn't been able to see it until now. She had been played from the very beginning. Ms Darkholme must have put it into Deborah's head that New York was the place to go, and she must have been keeping an eye on them, waiting for the perfect time to swoop in and take her…
Irene and Mystique knew exactly what they needed to do to get her where they wanted her. They knew if they made Deborah disappear, she would eventually come to them for help.
And she had.
Because what else could she have done? A young girl, all alone in a big city… No one to trust really but that nice lady in the beautiful suit who had come to see her at the orphanage that one time…
She had called her "lovely", she had smiled at her and said so sincerely, "I do hope you change your mind…"
How fortunate that Deborah had kept her card.
She slips her feet into the water. They look so blue, so pale…
Like his face…
"Whose face?"
Etienne…
She shakes her head. She doesn't want to think about that.
She thinks about Irene's journals instead, her sketches. The pictures of her with an X on her chest.
I refuse to wear a uniform dat has a target on it, Stormy…
An X on her chest. A uniform.
"She beat me to you - You had already been adopted the first time I came to see you…"
What a load of crap.
Irene had known exactly where she was the whole time.
They left her in that orphanage on purpose. They hadn't liked the future where Mystique adopted her first because she had ended up with the X-Men in it. And that wasn't desirable to the cause.
They liked the other future. The one where she was alone for the first seventeen years of her life. In that future she ended up with them.
In that future she belonged with the Brotherhood.
She kicks her legs under the water, watches them move in slow motion before breaking the surface then plunking back down again. Sunlight slithers over the little waves, squiggling and shimmering like fishes...
The water was so clear ya could see all th'way t'the bottom… not like th' river here… And the fishes… they come this close to ya…
She closes her eyes, whispers, "Whatcha think ya doin', Cody?"
Ah think Ah'm gonna kiss ya.
"What th'hell for?"
Cuz Ah like ya an Ah think y'about the sweetes' girl in th'whole state no matter what ya say…
The sun passes behind a cloud. She feels it's shadow cross her face.
Rogue, what are you doing? Don't let them out!
The wind picks up. She shivers. She's still only wearing his coat.
Here, take it. It get cold down here…
You're so cold darlin'… let's see if Ah can warm ya up some…
She opens her eyes. She can still see him lying across the foot of her bed.
"Ya deserved it… bastard…"
Bastards deserved everything they got!
Flip, spark, flip spark.
Pyro paces around her head with his lighter trying to burn her. She feels nothing. She's still so cold.
You deserved it…
She killed Bruce to protect herself, she killed him for revenge, she turned his death into a message to all those girls…
"Don't mess with me."
Ah ain' so diff'rent from Mystique…
Forget Mystique - who're the bastards? What did I do?
"Ya burned a man alive."
Did he scream? Tellme he screamed…
"Shut up, Pryo."
Did that guy scream? The one you've got stashed under the bed? What about the kid?
"Shut up."
I'd be a little nicer to me if I were you - after all, we're gonna be teammates right? You, me, Dom, Mystique and Irene… one big happy family… It's what you've always wanted right?
Souns pretty cozy, chere… nice place t'live, permission t'touch and touch and touch all y'wan… an now ya got Jeannie here t'keep y'from goin' insane…
"Fuck off Gambit."
It's wrong, Rogue. You can't let them use you like a weapon...
But she is a weapon…"De beauty wit out mercy"… draw dem in, make dem want you… like I wanted you… take everyting… lie, cheat, steal and touch…
His husky laugh in her head…
We ain' so diff'rent neither huh, chere?
"We are different. You would let Deborah rot."
I don' know bout dat - she a pretty good kisser, neh?
We have to find the professor. I was talking to him that night on the astral plane when I felt you…
Flip spark, flip spark.
You could be my muse girlie - my next heroine… I'll make you immortal…
The most important thing is making sure she stays safe, that they don't harm her in any way. You might have to play by their rules until I can get help-
An there's all sorts of rules an' stuff that ya hafta pay attention too, but I kin teach ya… Ah bet yer good at baseball… 'specially the hittin' part…
-He's the world's most powerful telepath. He can find where she-
My love mus' be a kin' a blin' love- I can' see anyone but you…
You'll lose your virginity to a handsome young fire-eater in chapter four-
Darlin' you're so soft…
Are de stars out t'night…
- more powerful -
"Stop it…"
I don' know if it's cloudy o' bright…
We can help -
I only have eyes f'you…
Professor? are you there?
Chere…
- and I fell off the ledge and broke my arm in two places!
Sh'bop sh'bop
"Stop talking…"
Why am I still here -
"Everyone shut up!"
Th' moon may be high…
Can't reach anyone -
But I can't see a ting in de sky…
Your head is a mess-
Mah life is a mess… Ah cain't stop this…
I only have eyes f'you…
- Ah tell myself not to but then there ya are so sweet and soft in that beautiful moonlight…
I don' know if we in a garden…
This's mah secret place… it can be yours too if ya want…
- can't feel Scott…
So sorry darlin'… so pretty…
Or on a crowded av'nue…
God where am I -
"Please… stop… please…"
You are here What have you done And so am I So soft pretty pretty girl Maybe millions of people go by I'm not supposed to still be here But they all disappear from view I'll be your best friend if ya let me And I only have eyes you are destined ta hurt ta be alone always For you chere Ah am alone always Everythin' ya touch turns ta shit Sh'bop sh'bop-
"STOP!"
Dance wit me chere…
"Rogue!"
Cool water enveloping her flesh, wrapping the trench coat around her body like a cocoon…
And silence.
Sweet, sweet, silence.
Floating like flying through the early morning sky like being in space with the stars and the silence no voices only clouds and comets…
And then arms, strong arms around her waist pulling her up, up…
She takes a choking breath, gasps as the air fills her lungs. She is hauled up onto the concrete her legs still dangling in the pool and Dominick leans over her his brown eyes wide, his hair stuck to his forehead, water streaking down his cheeks like tears.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!"
"That's never happened before…" she whispers.
"What?"
"They all started talkin' at once… they're not s'posed to be able ta do that… Ah heard Cody… for the first
time in years… Ah heard Cody…"
You let him through… You're breaking down your own barriers, Rogue…
"I thought you had them under control…"
"Ah did… Ah thought Ah did…"
Did you really think it'd be that easy, girlie? Just lockin' us up and tossing us away?
You said it y'self, chere…
"The people ah touch…ah killthem… an they… they haunt me. They may fade to the background, but they're never really gone…"
"Why now… why…"
I think it's my fault...
"Jean?"
"The telepath? I thought you absorbed her so she could take care of the ghosts?"
Looks like it backfired…
"How many of the X-men did you take out?" He shakes his head angrily. "I knew Mystique was pushing too hard, asking you to get all of them! I told her, I said just have her get rid of-"
"Ah hate you, Dom."
Hey, me too!
He blinks at her. "What did I do?"
""He came outta nowhere and started tearin' the place up, Rogue, he had it in f'me, Ah looked inta his eyes and Ah knew he was enjoyin' it… hurtin' me, burnin' me… he's not who ya think he is…" You said that to me. You knew I was unsure about the whole thing and you took me out, away from the others, talked me inta it, looked me in the eye and lied-"
Well not completely, chere - I kinna didenjoy it…
"Shut up!"
Dominick stares at her.
"You need to calm down… Let me help you…"
He reaches out to her and the diving board to their left snaps in half.
It hovers in the air, pink fire crackling, snapping. The glow touches Dominick's worried face and she growls "Go. Away."
"Rogue plea-"
"Ya best leave now 'fore I do somethin' I won't regret…"
His voice is calm. His eyes are soft. He says, "I'm not leaving until I'm sure you're okay. You can hit me with that thing all you want."
Pyro laughs, chants do it do it.
Remy says, charge it firs'.
Her hands start to tingle, they start to glow.
I think I can still help you, Rogue… but I can't do it alone…
She gets to her feet, careful not to touch the ground. Dominick reaches for her again, tries to help her up.
She jerks herself away and arcs a pink hand at him. He flies back and lands in the middle of the pool, the diving board just narrowly missing him as she releases her hold and it hits the water with a slap before sinking below the waves.