EYES OF THE EVERGREEN
a Severus Snape fanfic by quantum witch © 2001

Rating: R for language and adult situations, descriptions of violence, death
Warning: Mary Sue alert.
Disclaimer: HP characters owned by J. K. Rowling, of course. The rest are my own.
Summary: The reason Severus Snape became Dumbledore's spy.

Note: Written years before certain parts became canon. But I'm happy to say I guessed a few things long in advance.

Prologus

Professor Snape found himself alone. Again. As always. The end of the day's tedious classes brought not only relief from the relentless inanity of the children he tried to teach the fine art of potion making, but also long and weary hours in which to find ways of distracting himself from thinking too much. He was never exactly sociable, and even though he could have actually enjoyed the company of some of his fellow teachers, he rarely sought it out. Tonight he felt disinclined to trust himself not to betray a secret. And so he went alone to his chambers. Tomorrow might be easier to join his peers, but tonight…

Tonight was the anniversary of the death of someone he had longed to save more than himself. And every year, he'd mourned the fact that he'd failed. It was one of the primary reasons he'd left the Death Eaters and Voldemort, though of course he'd known even before that incident it was the right thing to do. He'd just done it too late.

He strode before his cold fireplace and sank heavily into the wingback chair before it, crumpling his black robes carelessly under himself as he did. It was hard to think of anything so ordinary as sitting down properly and neatly when his mind was already so prepossessed with memories. Unbuttoning his overcoat and reaching inside just near his heart, his searching fingers found the item pinned there for so many years and removed it. Holding it before him, he regarded the small silver box, laced with rune engravings, soberly. It had many spells on it… to prevent theft, loss, discovery by any sort of probing means… for the item inside was to him more precious than anything he owned. And he never even truly felt he owned this item either. He'd have much preferred not to, but it had been given into his care for good reason, or so he chose to continue hoping to believe himself worthy.

Slowly, with a feeling of ceremony that never dulled over so many years, he opened the tiny clasped lid of the box. Tipping it over slightly, he let the item inside roll into his open palm. The round slightly green-tinted crystal ball felt cold but his familiar touch would warm it. And it knew his touch well, like a lover's, after all this time. He held it on his palm for a moment, and wondered for the thousandth time if he ought not to get someone to just cast Obliviate on him and be done with it. The remembering never got easier. But he knew he'd rather remember, even if it couldn't change a damned thing. The memories, and the crystal, were all he had left of the first woman who'd truly loved him.

Now, the crystal warmed to his hand's temperature, it glowed slightly, and he held it up to eye level to watch the visions it would play out for him. Crystal gazing was considered with disdain among most reasonably talented magical folk, since they were intelligent enough to know that only they could affect the outcome of their future and not truly to predict it. Divination was inaccurate at best and wishful thinking that could only hinder you, in Snape's opinion. But since this one only showed the past it could be nothing but precisely, painfully accurate.

And one could be just as affected by the past as any potential future. Especially when there was so little future to look forward to…

NOTE:
· The Prologue and Epilogue are not set in any particular time frame, and could easily take place during any of JKR's first four books.