Raven bandages her fingers. She broke two on her left hand and one on her right. She can't even feel them anymore.
"It should have been a lot worse — you hit the ground really hard…" Dominick watches as Raven finishes and he sits down beside her. "I don't know how the hell that guy was able to just get up after that fall…"
"Why didn't you just touch him and have done with it?" St. John sulks in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at her.
"Ah thought Ah could do it withou-"
"Well you couldn't and now we're stuck with him!"
"Shut up, Pyro," Dominick mutters. "I don't like him either, but he's a good fighter, he can be a big help to us." He looks at Raven for confirmation and she says nothing as she studies Rogue.
"Are you glad he's here?" she asks.
"No."
"Shall I send him away?"
"Would you?"
She doesn't answer.
Rogue slides off the table shaking her head.
"Rogue?"
She hits the button next to the door with her elbow.
"What."
It swishes open.
"He's here on a trial basis. I want you to keep an eye on him — all of you. The second his loyalty is called into question he's done, is that understood?"
"Done as in "y'membership's bein' revoked" or done as in "dead"?"
Raven gathers up the supplies and puts them back in the cabinet.
"I'm sure you're exhausted," she says. "Why don't you go get some rest."
-/-
She goes to the roof, the pool.
She climbs up onto the new diving board and lays down on it, staring up at the sky. She watches a satellite slowly making its way across the cloudy night and finds herself missing Mississippi for the first time. She could always see the stars so clearly back home. It's hard to here, there's too much smog and she misses them sometimes, those tiny pinpricks of light stretching out as far as she could see, a pathway to planets, galaxies, universes. She used to lie awake and count them until she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer and she'd fall asleep against the windowpane above her bed… and then later on the Bennett's back porch wrapped up in Julia's afghan. She had been so young then…
She can't remember what it feels like to be that young.
She had never really been happy long enough to get a clear grasp on the feeling, but she thinks she can say with certainty that she had been with the Bennetts. She had been with Remy too, she thinks. The moments they had had together were brief, but he had made her feel something she hadn't felt since Julia and Jed had welcomed her into their home.
Hope.
She had started to feel like maybe everything would be alright like maybe she would be alright...
She knows better now.
But at least maybe life can be simple again. It'll never be good, but if she could just get away from all of this… maybe she could go back and just start all over again…
But ya hafta fix things first…
Ya hafta figure out a way ta get Deborah outta here b'fore Mystique makes ya hurt somebody… Things have been quiet for a while but that ain't gonna last forever… sooner or later she's gonna send ya out an' if ya can't do it she might…
No.
Don't even think about it. Ya'll get her out b'fore anythin' happens… At least now ya have an idea where she might be…
She had been trying to figure out where Raven was keeping her for weeks. She had snuck into her office more than once searching for anything that might give her a clue and had come up with nothing until yesterday morning. Raven had left her alone in the office for a moment when Irene had called for her. She had quickly sifted through the papers on her desk and had found a receipt for this month's rent.
Raven was paying via an alias for the floor below the penthouse as well, and that afternoon she had discovered it was completely off-limits. The elevator didn't stop on the floor at all. No matter how many times she had pushed the button it had sailed past without stopping. She was convinced that that was where she was being kept. Mystique would want to keep her close just in case.
That's where she is, Ah know it… Ah just hafta figure out a way ta get in… but how…
Gambit.
Gambit would know…
God, what's he doin' here…
Did he really come on his own or did Mystique find him? Offer him a place with us in some misguided attempt to keep me happy? Or is he here for the X-Men… workin' undercover…
If he is maybe he would help me…
No. He ain't gonna trust me enough to tell me if he is or not… and besides if Raven found out Ah was tryin' ta get the X-men's help she'd do sumthin' drastic…
Ah hafta get ta her on mah own. Ah ain' got no right ta ask Gambit fo' nothin' anyway...
She closes her eyes, feeling the heat from the pool below curl up in wisps of steam as the cool air kisses the surface, and starts to drift. She imagines herself being lifted up into the sky, cradled by the wind that'll carry her away as the water swishes below, softly, soothingly. She falls asleep under the satellites and faded city stars, promising herself that soon Deborah will be free and all this will be just another bad memory.
-/-
She opens her eyes.
The full moon sits high above her, a blinding white that stings. She stares up at it for as long as she can before her eyes begin to water and when she turns her head away she notices a haphazard line of clothes leading to the pool's edge as though someone had stripped them off as they walked.
"Hello?" she calls out and no one answers. She yawns, rubbing at her eyes with the heels of her palms and lazily rolls over onto her stomach careful not to jostle her hands too much. She reaches out to the water, her cheek resting on her arm, her lips against her wrist. She trails her un-bandaged fingers in the warm water and yanks them back, lifting her head as she hears someone break the surface.
Remy.
He pushes his hands through his damp hair and she watches the muscles in his back bunch and release. She thinks about feigning sleep until he leaves but his head turns just the slightest bit and it's already too late. He knows she's awake. He sinks back down below the water and does another lap, his body long and lean and waving beneath the clear water, his tanned skin looking pale under the moonlight.
He's naked.
She refuses to give him the satisfaction of being uncomfortable and doesn't look away when he surfaces again, below her now. She keeps her eyes on his as he tilts his face up to her.
He shakes his hair out of his eyes and she looks at his mouth, at the one corner hitched higher than the other in a permanent smirk. She remembers the way it felt, open as it touched her shoulders, her breasts, his warm breath through the gauze making her shiver. She remembers kissing that smirk away and his voice deep and rich like chocolate, drawling a lazy sweep of words...
"Dey hurt?"
She blinks, "Huh?"
He nods at her hands and she shakes her head. "Ah'm so pumped fulla painkillers Ah can't feel nuthin'… Are you… Ah mean do you?"
"Feel someting?" He stares at her. "Nope. Not a ting."
She swallows, looks at the bruises like shadows on his arms.
"We hit th'ground pretty hard…"
"Yeh."
"Why'd ya turn us?"
"Why'dja break y'fingers?"
"Why ya really here?"
"I tol' ya why."
She shakes her head.
"Ya not gonna betray them by bein' here jus' cuz ya need a place t'stay."
"How d'you know?"
She looks at the quarter glittering beneath the water from the chain around his neck, she reaches out to touch it and he leans back watching her.
"Because ya loyal."
"Dey kicked me out. Ain' got no loyalties t'nobody no mo'."
"What about Storm?"
"She jus' like you — she don' put out. Issa waste a' time."
She doesn't even blink.
"Ah saw in y'head, Ah know y'care about them."
"S'funny — y'been in dere twice an' you still don' know a ting 'bout me. I care f'as long as I need to an' den I don'."
"That's not true."
He shrugs disinterestedly.
"Ah know ya wanna be better than that."
"You don' know what I wan'."
Well that's true…
She sits up, her legs on either side of the board, her bare feet slipping below the warm water. She stares down at her hands, feeling him watch her, feeling the wall that's been erected between them, made of ice, made of stone. She can feel it getting bigger, thicker, higher.
"Why couldn' ya have jus' tol' me…" she whispers almost to herself and he says, just as quietly, "Tol' ya what?"
"That ya knew. None of this would have happened…"
"None o' what?"
"This — ya bein' here in this place… this is a bad… Why couldn' ya jus' have been hones' with me, that ya didn' really-"
He laughs humorlessly.
"You gonna start talkin' t'me 'bout honesty? You tried to seduce me, che-Rogue. Y'knew I wan'ed you and y'used it. God knows I done de same ting plenty o' times so iss a lil hypocritical o' me to be mad at you 'bout it, but y'know what? I don' care if it does make me a hypocrite. I been calle' a lot wors' in m'time."
He looks away, finished with talking, and she sits there for a moment longer, letting it sink in that this is how it's going to be between them now. She scoots back on the board until she gets to the deck and stands at the edge of the pool watching him tread water, thinking she should just leave, just turn and go like he obviously wants her to.
But she wants to tell him. She needs to tell him…
"What?"
"It was an accident…" She speaks to the water, the jewel blue tiles beneath. "Ah'd decided Ah couldn' go through with it by then."
"Only 'cause I got y'tinkin'-"
She lifts her hand, cutting him off.
"Believe what ya want. Ah don't care anymore. Ah can't…"
It hurts too much…
"Ah jus' wanted ya ta know that's all."
She does turn to go then and when she hears him lift himself out of the pool, his feet slapping the concrete as he comes after her she doesn't stop. She keeps going, she leaves him.
-/-
Midnight.
A knock on her door.
She says, "come in" and Dominick slips inside.
"I was worried," he says.
"Ah didn' have a nightmare…"
"I know. You were too quiet." H e sits down on her floor, leans against her bed and smiles up at her. "Truthfully, I couldn't sleep. I've gotten too used to your snoring…"
"Excuse me, Ah do not snore."
"Yes, you do. Repeatedly."
She smacks him with a pillow and he grabs it from her, his hand almost brushing her skin and she freezes. He doesn't even pause. He steals her pillow and stretches out on the floor.
He's never been afraid of her touching him. Ever. St. John always keeps an eye on her when she's around. So does Mystique. But never Dominick. He trusts her. It's a nice feeling. An unfamiliar one, but nice.
"Dom?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks." He looks up at her from the floor, smiles.
"What for?"
"Just…thanks."
They're both quiet, listening to each other breathe as they've done many nights before, until Dominick sighs, "I have to ask you something."
"What?"
"Don't be mad."
She sticks her head over the edge of the bed. His eyes are closed tight.
"What is it?"
"Did you lose on purpose?"
"D'ya think Ah did?"
He opens his eyes but doesn't answer. She bites her lip and says honestly, "Ah was too drained ta keep goin'... The power Ah re-absorbed didn' last as long as Ah thought it would… So no, Dom. Ah didn' let him win. Ah don' want him here any more than you do."
"You sure?" She's quiet for a long moment and he says quickly, "I'm not asking because I care if you still… it's none of my business… I just…" he takes a deep breath, turns his head away, blushing slightly. "Never mind." She stares down at him uncertainly.
"Dom…"
"...it's about a young Greek god whose kiss can move mountains and a lovely young thing who's punished by the Gods for her unearthly beauty… Everything she touches withers and dies…"
"Yeah?"
Just ask… when he says "no" ya can both hava good laugh 'bout what an idiot ya are…
"Ya don't… Ah mean…" she laughs once, already embarrassed. "Ya don't… have feelin's f'me…?" She tries to keep her voice light, teasing.
He keeps his head turned, his eyes shut.
"Of course I do."
Oh.
"Dom-"
"It's okay, Rogue," he says. "I know where I stand with you and I'm fine with that. I just want you to be happy…"
She doesn't know what to say. Her throat hurts and she wishes she could reach out to him, she wishes she felt for him… It would be so much easier if…
"Things aren't gonna be weird are they?" he asks suddenly. "Cuz if they are I'm not really here you know — this is a dream. A very bizarre dream with no basis in reality whatsoever…"
She puts her hand over his heart, feels it beating beneath the thin cotton of his shirt and says, "Ah don't know what Ah'd do without ya, Dom…"
"Same here, Rogue," he murmurs, "Same here…"
"Got mah back?"
He smiles. Every training session, even when they're against each other they always say it.
"Got ya back."