Chapter 25
Three Little Words
He didn't know is she'd done it on purpose or not, but since that morning Hermione hadn't done as much as look in Harry's direction. Breakfast had been easy since Jamie was there and chattering away as usual, and since they had, after much pleading, decided to take Jamie into Hogsmeade, there hadn't been much opportunity for Harry to approach her.
When they got to Hogsmeade much of their time and effort was put into showing Jamie around their favourite shops. But Harry was bothered; a large part of him wanted to be enthusiastic about showing Jamie around one of his favourite places, but a part of him was still worried and fretting about Hermione. He tried not to let it show and threw himself into the whole experience, just hoping that Jamie didn't notice. But she did. Hermione knew him too well and had seen him wrestling him with his thoughts since breakfast. Finally, when they were going towards Fred and George's new shop Hermione took him aside-
"Harry?"
He was in his own little world but her voice pulled him back to reality-
"Yeah?" the nerves showing in his voice.
"I know you want to talk- about earlier. But lets just finish showing Jamie around and make sure he has a good time – we can talk later ok?"
He was a bit shocked so could only manage to nod dimly, but after a few minutes he came around and really started to get into the whole visit. He felt happier, lighter like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders; she would talk to him about it – that's better than nothing he told himself. Harry ended up having a thoroughly good time in Hogsmeade, Hermione seemed to be having a good time watching Jamie and Harry larking about and Jamie loved it. They ended up taking him everywhere and bought him a good few presents too; Hermione had been concerned about spoiling him but Harry had said he wouldn't buy anything to extravagant and that he did have many years birthday presents to catch up on, so she'd relented, understanding his need to indulge his little boy as he never was. They stayed for lunch and then dinner at Hogsmeade and it was quite late when they eventually got home.
Harry put Jamie to bed and left Hermione in his room to say goodnight. He went down to the kitchen and poured himself a large Firewhisky. He wasn't going to get drunk, he just needed a little courage to face Hermione and what she had to say. He sat at the table and waited, contemplating what he was about to face and wondering if she still wanted him like he wanted her. Harry was so preoccupied with his thoughts he didn't see her standing by the doorway, watching him.
She was as nervous as he, if not more so. She'd taken as long as she reasonably could putting Jamie to bed, and now she had to face him. She had wanted to tell him that morning when he said he loved her. She wanted to show him in the afternoon, when he looked so unhappy. But Jamie was there and he was their priority. So she'd decided to wait until they got back home. Home. That was a strange concept to her. She hadn't had a home since Hogwarts. Even Paris didn't quite feel right. And now she had a home. With her son. And with Harry. The thought of it made her want to cry in joy, but another part of her couldn't bear the thought of it all going wrong. She'd been in turmoil. But now she'd decided he was right. What was the point of it all if she didn't take the risk? She just had to find a way to tell him.
She moved into the kitchen and he turned around. There was an uncomfortable silence until Hermione realised that he was waiting for her to speak. He kept fiddling with his glass, always a sign that he was stressed and Hermione found her mouth wouldn't speak what she was thinking. So she sat down. He looked at her and for once she couldn't read what he was thinking.
"Harry. What you said this morning..."
"Yeah?" Harry said, desperately wanting her to continue talking, but afraid she wouldn't say what he wanted to hear.
"... I don't-" Harry looked away fearing the worst and pleading with himself not to break down and cry.
"I don't really know where to begin." Hermione continued. He breathed. "It's difficult- I don't really know if I-" He took her hands in his.
"Hermione – please just tell me how you feel- what it is that you want."
She took a deep breath and summoned her courage- "... I- I want you."
She couldn't say anything after that since Harry had smothered her in a deep and passionate kiss. Before, he'd held back not knowing if she wanted him to kiss her, but three words later and his doubt had gone. He kissed her like it was the last time he'd see her and she returned with the same intensity. Her fear of everything going wrong was still there, but she'd shoved it aside when Harry began to kiss her. She wanted him. She wanted him to kiss her and hold her and never let her go; he wanted her forever, to make her want him so much she could never leave.