For the last three months Joseph felt like he was suspended in time. Nothing he did brought those he loved any closer to happiness. Joseph hadn't stopped wondering if in the long run he hadn't been more of a hindrance than help. For all his careful planning everything still had ended up a complete shambles. Both his sons were miserable and not any closer to repairing their strained relationship. According to what he had been told by Helena, Elizabeth was barely speaking even to her, and the pleasure that Joseph thought he would have derived from avenging Rocco's death had only served to leave him with a gaping hole in his heart.

He found his eyes resting on the mantle full of family photos. Over the last several days he had spent the long afternoons just starring at what once was. He saw smiling faces. He saw laughter. He saw love, however, now Joseph only saw pain, despair and heartache. None of those things were what he had envisioned for his family. With all that power that he knew he wielded, Joseph had no control over anything anymore and that frustrated him.

All the people he loved the most in the world were now shells of their former selves. His daughter in law was still being crushed by the heavy weight of the loss of her unborn child and AJ couldn't do a damn thing about that but stand idly by and watch it happening. Jason was like a ghost. He drifted from day to day expressionless and sullen. Each time that Joseph tried to reach out to him his advances were brushed aside. Jason still had so much anger for how his father handled, or hadn't handled things. Joseph's head understood Jason's stand offish behavior but his heart ached that his son wouldn't let him help. Then there was Elizabeth. The girl who he was supposed to protect and care for. He had failed Rocco miserably on that account. The idea that Elizabeth had attempted to take her own life still haunted him. He had been so caught up in his own agenda that he had lost sight of the things that really mattered, the things that his friend had wanted.

"I'm sorry, my friend," Joseph said to the room around him. "I am so sorry I failed you." He let out a heavy sigh. How he longed to be able to talk to Rocco. Back in the day he and Rocco had been each others confidant, one another's sounding board when a crucial decision needed to be made. Now when he needed his friend the most he wasn't there, and Joseph couldn't help but blame himself for that. If he had only acted sooner. If he had only listened to Jason when it had come to Anthony. If he had only not been so blind and pigheaded. So many what ifs ran through Joseph's mind that he was beginning to get seasick from all the motion. Slowly he rose from his chair and pulled on his overcoat. Rocco may not have been able to answer him anymore but Joseph could still talk to him, maybe with any luck even get some divine guidance.

The path that led to the Malucci family crypt was windy. Slowly Joseph plodded his way along it rehearsing what he wanted to say to his friend. As he crested the small hill, Joseph stopped short. He saw a slender figure kneeling before Rocco's grave. He moved a bit closer and knew that it was Elizabeth.

Elizabeth ran her fingers along the etched letters that spelled out Rocco's name in the black granite.

Rocco Xavier Malucci

Born 1939 – Died 2002

Beloved father

Trusted friend

He will be greatly missed

Elizabeth's eyes again clouded with tears as she read the engraving on the headstone. "I miss you so much," she cried. "Anthony's dead," Elizabeth stated. "My father is on his way to prison for his crimes. And I – I'm happy about those things. That scares me," she gasped. "What kind of person does that make me?" she questioned.

Joseph felt the strings to his heart tug at him as he listened to her anguished voice talking to the man he loved as much as he knew she did.

"What sort of woman revels in her husband's death and it thankful that her father will finally pay for all his crimes? What kind of person takes pleasures where she can find them while those that she loves are left to die?" Elizabeth choked on those words.

Joseph's eyes grew damp as the realization of how much responsibility Elizabeth felt for Rocco's death hit him.

"You know I was with Jason Morgan the night you died? He was the man you encouraged me to find happiness with. I wonder if you would have been so willing to do that if you had known it was Jason? I tried so hard to fight my feelings – but nothing I did worked. Every time I closed my eyes I would see his face. The gentle way he spoke to me – touched me. The way he treated me like a lady. Things that Anthony never did. Jason made me know what it was like to feel true unconditional love. His family showed me that this way of life of ours didn't have to be so brutal. They showed me what it was like to sit around the dinner table and enjoy one another's company."

Joseph smiled. He had always prided himself on giving his family the things that Elizabeth talked about. It was nice to finally know that he had succeeded and someone other than himself had seen it.

"I know my relationship with Jason was wrong. I knew it from the very beginning, yet some force beyond my control kept pushing me forward toward him. Even when Anthony threatened to kill Jason I still couldn't stop myself from wanting him!" Elizabeth cursed herself.

Joseph let out a heavy sigh as he continued to listen to her private conversation.

"Is it me? Am I doomed? Am I doomed to forever lose the people that I love?" Elizabeth asked the rhetorical question aloud. "I lost my mom. No matter what I did to try to help her, to save her I couldn't. I lost you, Rocco. You didn't have to die. At least not the way that you did. Not some horrible, painful death. I could have stopped that. If I had only gone home with you but NO I had to spend the night with Jason... ..." Elizabeth's voice dissolved into a flood of tears.

Joseph watched as Elizabeth laid her trembling body against the grass covering Rocco's grave.

"I deserve to be miserable. I don't deserve to be happy with Jason. I don't deserve the wonderful things I found with him. I don't deserve... ..."

"That's nonsense!" Joseph stepped out of the shadows startling her. "You deserve as much happiness as the world can offer you." Elizabeth couldn't do much more than stare wide eyed at him as he spoke. "Rocco loved you. He thought of you as his own flesh and blood. You were as much a daughter to him as Emily is to me. Your happiness and safety was all Rocco was ever concerned with. When it came right down to it – in the end that's all that mattered to him."

"You're wrong," Elizabeth said as she stood up and faced Joseph. "His health is what should have mattered. I should have taken better care of him. I lived with Anthony day in and day out. I knew what he was capable of, what kind of monster he was and more importantly how little regard for his father he had. I should have been there!!" Elizabeth shouted. "Instead I was off sneaking around, playing footsie with a man I had no right to be doing it with! Rocco's concern for me only left him dead!!"

"No Elizabeth, you are the one who is wrong. You are wrong if you think that you should blame yourself for Rocco's death. You couldn't have stopped what happened if you had been in the house or not. You would have more than likely ended up dead yourself... ..."

"I deserve to be dead," Elizabeth said plainly.

"THE HELL YOU DO!!"

"I just want this all to end!" Tears were now streaming down her face as she spoke. "I don't want to live in this world anymore."

"You don't have a choice Elizabeth. Too many people love you to just let you wither away and die."

Joseph's words brought back the memory of a conversation that she had had with Rocco regarding his sister Anna. How he had wanted more for her. How he had wanted a life filled with the love that his sister had been denied. "Rocco told me that once," she said softly.

"Elizabeth, you have to understand how much you meant to Rocco. He saw things in you that you couldn't see in yourself. He wanted you to blossom and grow. He wanted to protect you with all he had to give. That mattered so much to him that Rocco was even willing to sacrifice his own son to accomplish it."

"He sacrificed himself," she again choked on a sob.

"Maybe, but it was a sacrifice he made willingly. A sacrifice that any father would make for their daughter... ..."

"Mine never would have," Elizabeth said as flashed of her own selfish father came to mind.

"If you haven't noticed he's paying dearly for that mistake."

"Maybe, but he's still alive!" Elizabeth was able to get past the fact that Rocco was dead.

"Honey, Rocco is at peace now. There isn't anymore pain for him. He no longer has to curse at himself for the things that he can no longer do of his own free will. You have to stop blaming yourself. He wouldn't want that. I don't want that. I myself feel guilty for all of the things that I could have done to stop this and didn't. I know what living with guilt is like. I do it everyday of my life. But Elizabeth, there isn't any reason for you to. You don't have to feel guilty for finding happiness with my son. Rocco wanted you to find it. He wanted, needed you to have the life his sister never would. Don't deny him that now. Don't deny yourself, don't deny Jason the wonders that you love can bring to the both of you."

"I don't know anymore."

"Yes you do. You're just too scared right now to believe in what I already know. That you and Jason belong together. Do you love my son?" Joseph asked. Elizabeth hesitated. While she knew the answer to his question her heart and head were at war with one another once more. The guilt that consumed her every thought nearly strangled her while her love for Jason teemed through her heart. "Elizabeth," Joseph prodded. "Do you love Jason?"

"It's not that simple," she said in hushed tones, as her eyes remained fixed on Rocco's headstone. The memory of Rocco's expressing his want of a better life for her was so vivid. They were almost like a Technicolor dream.

"It can be. If you will just let it."

"How can you be for all of this?" she questioned. "How can you stand to even look at me knowing what my husband put your family through?" she cried.

"You are certainly not to blame for any of the things that Anthony did. Anthony was cruel and maniacal long before you ever entered his life. No one in their right mind would see fit to blame you for any of Anthony's crimes. But more importantly because my son loves you, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth felt the words her heart wanted to speak catch in her throat. He brain still had control.

"I want you to know no matter what you believe right now you are a good person who deserves happiness and love. I would be proud to one day call you, daughter." Joseph smiled softly as he took Elizabeth by the hand.

That simple gesture freed Elizabeth's strangled voice. "I do love Jason, Mr. Morgan."

"I know," Joseph said. "Now let's go home."

Elizabeth and Joseph walked to his car in silence and for the first time since her hellish existence as Mrs. Anthony Malucci began she felt at peace.

Jason heard the soft knocking on his door but chose to ignore it. He didn't want to be bothered by whatever the person on the other side wanted him to think about. This was how he had spent the days, weeks and now months since he had left Elizabeth at the clinic. He had agreed to give her the time she needed but for him it had been too much time. He felt as if he was living in a barren wasteland of an existence. The next knock was followed by his father's voice, "Jason, please open the door. I need to speak with you." Reluctantly Jason picked himself up off of the bed and opened the door. "Would you mind putting on some decent clothes and coming downstairs with me? There's someone we need to speak to."

"No," Jason stated bluntly. "I'm not part of the business anymore. Whoever it is you can certainly handle without me."

"Jason please," Joseph stressed. "I assure you this is someone you need to see."

Something behind his father's eyes told him to play along. "Give me a minute," Jason said as he reached for a pair of black jeans draped across the chair adjacent to the window.

"I'll be in the hall waiting." Joseph closed the door behind him.

"Who's this important person... ..." Jason asked his father as he led him into the study. The sight of Elizabeth standing there forced the remainder of his sentence to be forgotten.

"I'll leave you two alone now," Joseph said as slipped quietly out of the room.

Jason adjusted his eyes. He couldn't believe that she was standing before him. It had been so similar to his reoccurring dream that he wasn't sure that this wasn't what it was – a dream. "Elizabeth?"

"Hello Jason." The sound of her sweet voice was all he needed to rush forward and take her in his arms. The sense of relief Jason felt was all consuming but was gone as fast as it had come when Elizabeth gently removed himself her his embrace. Suddenly he was thrown back in time. It was like the clinic all over again. Jason didn't think he could live with rejection one more time. "Jason," Elizabeth stuttered, "We need to talk."

Immediately he didn't like the sound of those words. "Why – so you can torture me some more?" Jason angry voice shot before his mind could stop it. "So you can tell me how much you love me but us being together is wrong?!? So what you can tell me that you need more time – or hell how about telling me no amount of time is going to be enough?!?" In the past months Jason's understanding of Elizabeth's need for time had festered and was now showing its ugly head in the form of anger.

Elizabeth was stunned by Jason's outburst. She was sure much in the same way he had been by her own at the clinic. She watched him pace like a caged animal as he waited for her to speak. "Jason," she stretched her hand toward him. "Jason, please come here." Her voice was soft and pleading. However, Jason remained rooted to where he was. "I'm sorry that I hurt you." Elizabeth realized how lame those words sounded but she wasn't sure how else to begin. Hesitantly she made her way to where Jason stood. She reached out and took his hand in her own. Instinctively their fingers laced together. "Thank you for everything," she began. "Thank you for giving me time. Thank you for loving me and most of all thank you for saving my life," Elizabeth swallowed hard around the lump in her throat as she said that.

Standing alone in that room with him all of the sudden brought so much into focus that had been blurry prior to that moment. Her many talks with Rocco and the things that Joseph said earlier slowly reinforced the person she remembered herself to be the person that her mother had taught her to be. Yes, she had made mistakes, but looking into Jason's crystal blue eyes right then Elizabeth knew that he hadn't been one of them.

"I couldn't let you die," Jason said as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. All at once his animosity toward her had evaporated into thin air. Having her so close to him again caused Jason to take leave of his senses as always. It was as though Elizabeth had captured him the way she had that very first time he'd seen her.

"Thank you." Elizabeth felt the tears pool in her eyes as she searched for the words she needed to make him understand. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Forgive you?"

"Yes, for the hell I must have put you through that day and all the days after that?"

Jason's immediate response was to yes – that anything had been worth it to have her back in his life. Yet he hesitated. "I admit that I didn't understand," he offered. "I love you Elizabeth. I would have done anything to have kept you safe but you shut me out. You thought that I didn't love you anymore. That thought slowly killed me inside. Then when I finally do get a phone call from you it's so cryptic... ..." Jason's words trailed off as in his mind he relived Elizabeth's phone call on that fateful day.

"I'm sorry." It was now Elizabeth's turn to envelop him in her arms. On the day she decided to end her life, she hadn't thought much about those she was leaving behind. Her only thoughts were of ending her own suffering. However, watching the anguish on Jason's face and knowing that she had been the cause broke her heart. "I don't think I can ever explain where my mind was that day. I just wanted it to be over. I couldn't live with myself anymore... ..."

"So why the sudden change of heart?" Jason pulled back still unable to truly let himself believe that she was there with him to stay.

"Your father," she stated simply.

"What?" Jason gave her a puzzled stare.

"Yes." Elizabeth answered his unspoken question. "Your father is a wise man. He told me not to let Rocco's death be in vain."

"Huh?"

"I don't really understand it myself," she said, "but he told me that Rocco wanted me to be happy. He wanted me to find love and have a wonderful life. A life that his sister would never have."

"Rocco's sister?" Jason was still confused.

"It really doesn't matter. All that matters, is I know your father was right. Rocco fought for me to have something more and if I didn't rush out and grab hold of it his death would have been all for nothing." Jason was still more than a little confused. "I know you have every right to tell me to go. I said some horrible things to you. I pushed you away but is there still a chance for us Jason? I love you," she whispered.

It was almost like a dream come true for him. After all these months Jason hadn't expected to hear those words pass from Elizabeth's lips to him again. Yes, there was still a part of him that didn't understand why she had forced him from her life. Maybe he never would but he wasn't about to let this precious creature leave his life one more time. Somehow together he would find a way to understand. Jason pulled her against his chest as him arms encircled her tiny waist. "I love you too, baby." Sweetly their lips met in a wonderful kiss with just a hint of passion that still coursed through them.

Jason rested his chin atop Elizabeth's head as he caught a glimpse of his father standing in the doorway as he watched the long awaited reunion of his son and Elizabeth. "Thank you," Jason mouthed. Joseph only nodded as he quietly slipped away again.