Okay my little brain is running out of ideas for this fic so this will be the big finish. Time to get a little wacky and have some fun.

There's No Disgrace Like Home

"My life is a living hell…" Vi moaned as she stumbled into the recreation room.

"Now what are you complaining about?" John asked.

"I've been fired from my law firm," Vi sank down on the couch. "Just like that."

"Let me guess, the trial thing?" Bobby asked.

"No kid, it's because I accidentally ran over Chiquita Banana!" Vi snapped.

"Well if it was an accident…"Bobby began.

"I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!" Vi shouted. "OF COURSE IT'S BECAUSE OF MY SON'S TRIAL! SHEESH!"

"I was just asking!" Bobby defended.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Vi sighed. "My whole life is coming apart. On top of nearly getting killed and losing my home and my son going through this and coming here to this…nuthouse…now I have no job! No income!"

"What about your husband?" Hank asked as he walked in.

"Carl? Oh please!" Vi snapped. "He was fired and couldn't get a job before this all happened! You really think he can do anything now?"

"Well what was his job?" John asked.

"He was the District Manager of the Sanitation Department," Vi said. "Translation, a garbage man with a clipboard! It took him fifteen years to work his way up to that job and boom! They wouldn't even take him back picking up garbage! Can you believe that? We're not good enough to pick up garbage!"

"Well there goes my confidence for the next five years," Carl walked in and then walked out, indicating he heard everything.

"Oh shut up!" Vi snapped. "Everyone knows I made all the real money in the family anyway. And now it's gone! Kaput! It's over. It's all over."

"Vi please," Hank put his arm on her shoulder. "It is not over."

"All my hopes and dreams have been smashed to little bits," Vi wailed. "I can't get a job which means I can't afford a place to live which means I'm gonna be stuck in this nightmare of a loony bin for the rest of my life!"

"Lady it's not a…" John began.

"DOOP LET GO OF MY SWEATER!" Amara screamed as she was being dragged behind Doop. He had a large pink sweater in his mouth and he wouldn't let go. "YOU WANNA BE SET ON FIRE AGAIN?"

"GET HIM LOCKEED!" Kitty shouted as she ran behind them with Lockheed breathing fire.

"FORGE! HOW DO YOU STOP THESE CRAZY THINGS?" Sam shouted as he blew past. Not long after that the sound of a hole being made in a wall could be heard.

"XI GIVE ME BACK MY DRESS!" Jean shouted as she chased Xi around. Xi was wearing a nice green dress. "AND STOP PLAYING WITH MY MAKEUP!"

"Rogue told me I could!" Xi shouted back.

"ROGUE!" Jean screamed.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Sam screamed as he whizzed past again.

CRASH!

"Wow those guys are having fun!" Bobby said excitedly.

"Bobby, you are not helping. Could you please…?" Hank waved. Bobby went out after them. "Thank you…"

"Okay, you're right about the loony bin part," John admitted. "But other than that it's not that bad around here! Sort of. I think…"

"I'm going to have to change my name and move out of state," Vi moaned.

"That's a little unrealistic," Hank told her.

"You're right," Vi said. "Forget out of state. I need to move out of the country if I ever want to work again!"

"Looking back on it now, life on the reservation wasn't that bad," John thought. "Kind of peaceful actually. Why do I stay here? I'm sure not being paid enough that's for sure!"

"Proudstar please," Hank sighed. "I can only work with one depressed person at a time! Perhaps some television would take your mind off your troubles?" He turned it on.

"I will have to become Juanita, the mysterious tango instructor," Vi went on. "Carl will have to get a job sweeping up after monkey…"

"Hey! Look what's on TV!" John pointed.

"Once again this is Tawny Dawson outside the Xavier Institute," A blonde reporter spoke. "Reporting live about the Evan Daniels Trial."

"Didn't we get a restraining order on her?" John asked.

"No, she got one on us," Hank corrected him.

"Currently inside recovering from an alleged FOH attack are Mr. and Mrs. Daniels," Tawny reported.

"Alleged?" Vi screamed. "Alleged! I still have a few hairs missing from that 'alleged' attack!"

"Are Mr. and Mrs. Daniels mutants themselves?" Tawny asked. "Or are they merely pawns in the twisted game of their son and Xavier?"

"WHAT?" Vi stood up.

"Are they being mind controlled? And what drugs are they taking to cope with the stress?" Tawny continued. "Which would explain the bad fashion choices Ms. Daniels wears."

"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT!" Vi shouted, having a demented look in her eye as she stormed outside. She grabbed a fire extinguisher along the way.

"Uh oh…" Hank gulped. "Maybe someone should stop her."

"By someone I take it you don't mean us," John asked.

"But of course," Hank nodded. "Ororo!"

"What's going on?" Ororo asked as she walked in.

"That horrid Dawson woman is outside," Hank pointed to the TV. "And it appears your sister is about to give her an exclusive interview."

"Oh no…" Ororo gulped.

"HEY DAWSON! HERE'S AN EXCLUSIVE" Vi aimed the fire extinguisher at Tawny. "MUTANT'S MOTHER GOES NUTS ON BLEACHED BLONDE TRAMP!"

"She's not going to do what I think she's going to do…" Hank winced.

"TAKE THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Vi screamed as she used the fire extinguisher on Tawny.

"MY HAIR! MY MAKEUP!" Tawny cried. "MY TWO THOUSAND DOLLAR VERSACHE DRESS!"

"She did," Hank sighed. "I sense yet another lawsuit on its way."

"YOU WANNA SEE BAD FASHION! TAKE THIS!" Vi shouted as she pounced on Tawny, shoving her face in the mud.

"And I thought you had a temper, Ororo," Hank blinked. "But your sister puts your tempests to shame."

"I don't think my sister likes it here very much," Ororo sighed.

"Really? I think she's fitting in just fine," John shrugged.