Disclaimer: Angel belongs to a lot of people, but certainly not to me.
One Last Chance by shrinni
Cordelia floated in a vast... nothingness. No color, no sound, nothing that she could feel or smell or taste. Aside from being infinitely boring in every respect, she couldn't tell how much time had passed since Jasmine had given birth to herself using Cordelia's body.
Hell, it was hard for Cordelia to remember a time when she had been able to do anything. She had been a higher being for... three months? Four? It had been hard to tell time there, too.
She had been horribly bored, yet ironically doing the most good she had ever done in her life. Even the uneventful higher plane was better than this, someplace between life and death.
This nothingness was at least better than watching helplessly as Jasmine used her to trick her friends, to direct to Beast, to murder all those people.
It was a small consolation.
Even though she hadn't been in control, she could hear the screams and feel the blood of innocents on her hands and face. She had never murdered before, not counting demons, and even though it wasn't her fault, she felt the crushing guilt of all the people Jasmine had killed with Cordelia's hands.
If she had eyes in this place she would have cried. If she had a mouth she would have screamed. She had been helpless to stop Jasmine, and she was helpless to do anything now.
How long will I stay here? She wondered.
And then, there was something in the nothing. Many somethings, in fact.
They were a presence in the vastness, entities that seemed to surround Cordelia's consciousness. They felt imposing and strong. They felt... familiar.
They felt exactly the way that Jasmine had felt on the higher plane, as she had approached Cordelia for the first time.
Bodiless, voiceless, she could only think at the things surrounding her. She tried to make her thoughts as 'loud' as she could.
Who's there? If one of you wants to posses me, you're out of luck. I'm comatose. Cordelia thought as bravely as she could manage, which wasn't much.
THE FEAR FILLS HER MIND.
The thought nearly overpowered Cordelia's mind, giving her a massive migraine. A considerable feat, considering she didn't have a head in this place.
SHE HAS REASON TO FEAR. This thought was different, somehow, than the first.
Of course I'm afraid! You're the Powers the Be, aren't you? The last time I met one of you my body was hijacked and I did... horrible things... Cordelia trailed off as her anger died, and was replaced by guilt at the thought of the things Jasmine had done.
A REGRETABLE INCIDENT, BUT ULTIMATELY OF NO CONSEQUENCE.
This callous statement diverted Cordelia from her guilt, and anger rose once again to the surface. Of no consequence?! Of no CONSEQUENCE?! How many died? How many did you let her kill? I thought you were trying to save the world!
The first Power 'spoke' again. WE ARE KEEPING THE BALANCE, THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.
And what of your champions? Cordelia thought bitterly. What's happened to Angel without your stupid visions to guide him?
There seemed to be an uncomfortable silence from the Powers, if you could attribute an emotion like 'comfort' to them. Finally, a new Power spoke.
THE CHAMPION IS LOST.
Angel, lost? What had happened to him? What do you mean, lost? What's going on?
IT IS BEYOND YOUR CONCERN.
Like hell! Cordelia shot back furiously.
YOU ARE DYING. YOUR BATTLE HAS PASSED.
I was your seer! You raised me up because you thought I was worthy and then you let a... a thing use me against your champion! I gave you everything, and now you tell me that Angel is lost and I'm just supposed to shuffle off? Is everything I did, all the things I sacrificed, worth nothing?!
Another long silence followed this.
Well? Thought Cordelia. After all this, after all one of yours did to me, did to the world, do you think that I'm just going to die?
More silence.
You owe me this! She howled. Her 'voice' lowered, pleading. Just... this one last chance to help Angel, to help your Champion.
After yet more silence, finally a Power spoke.
VERY WELL. ONE LAST CHANCE.
The nothingness changed, and Cordelia suddenly saw everything. The whole team signing on to Wolfram & Hart, how they were all getting sucked into becoming slowly like the evil they despised. She saw how the Circle of the Black Thorn was controlling Wolfram & Hart, the Senior Partner's direct representatives on earth.
She saw into the future, what was going to happen to Fred, dying to become the vessel of an ancient demon, and she grieved. But what she saw in Fred's future wasn't as terrifying as what would happen to everyone else.
They would slip, one by one, into the shadows. Surrounded by the evil and the power hungry, they would lose their will to fight. Without a cause, without a reason, they would fade into a nothingness more horrible than this place between life and death.
Unless she gave them a reason.
ONE LAST CHANCE. The thoughts/voices of the Powers seemed to grow faint.
Cordelia woke up.
"Oh, what the hell. One for the road?"
Cordelia ran up to Angel and kissed him, knowing that the Powers would use this chance to give Angel the one vision he needed. She just hoped that it was enough.
The phone started ringing, and Cordelia had to fight back tears. This was it, it was time.
Angel pulled back a little awkwardly. "You know, um... I don't... I don't need to get that."
Cordelia blinked back her tears, and reached out to gently straighten Angel's tie. "That you have to get."
He walked slowly over to his desk, and Cordelia was suddenly glad that this was the end. She wouldn't die suddenly in some gory spray of blood, and she wouldn't waste away in a coma. She could go with a smile, albeit a teary one.
She was glad Angel's last memory of her would be of the kiss they never got to share in her real life.
Thank you. She thought to the Powers.
"Oh, and you're welcome." She called to Angel as he picked up the phone, his back to her.
She smiled, and then she was gone.
fin