Waking from yet another nightmare she found herself sprawled in his lap his hand on her
shoulder. She sat up and offered to spell him for a few hours. He reminded her the
rescue party would be there mid morning and not to let him sleep to late. It always
amazed her, his complete confidence in her. He handed her the P-90 and scrunched
down, sharing the covers, his head against her thigh.
SG1SG1SG1SG1
He was caught in a dream, struggling to wake – it was Ba'al, always Ba'al. It was his lotar, Kanan's woman asking "Is it you?" "No. It isn't Kanan, It's Jack." But that didn't matter now it was Sara asking "Is it you?" and no it wasn't him, he was no longer the man who wanted to die. He wasn't the man who didn't kill himself in his son's room because it would have been a desecration to spatter that room with his tainted blood. He was no longer that man. "Is it you?" Daniel and Teal'c and Carter looking at him. No longer the man that lied to his team to infiltrate the NID. Alienating them with dishonest actions and dishonest words. "Is it you?" No, he wasn't that man, it wasn't him, didn't they know him better. Not the man shaving who looked in the mirror, "Is it you?" whose brain was being rewritten? He felt his self dissolving away and didn't know who he was becoming. But there was Carter holding him at arms length, "Is it you?" Just saved from Hathor, just saved from being implanted and so cold, so very cold. "Is it you?" "Yes it's me, it's me." Didn't she know? Then there was Pete and she was turning from him to look at Pete. "Is it you?" What did she want, who did she want? Couldn't she see him, and by now after all these years didn't she know him? She turned away, just as all the rest turned away, even as he told her "It's me, it's me."
Carter heard him saw that he was agitated in a dream. A raspy groan "No" pure desperation. She tried to wake him and he grasped on to her arm. It sounded like "s'me"
He woke trying to control his breathing, edging into panic. He awoke his mind awash with the need to try to make her understand. Understand what, that he was himself. Why would she care? Why didn't she care?
SG1SG1SG1SG1
He was caught in a dream, struggling to wake – it was Ba'al, always Ba'al. It was his lotar, Kanan's woman asking "Is it you?" "No. It isn't Kanan, It's Jack." But that didn't matter now it was Sara asking "Is it you?" and no it wasn't him, he was no longer the man who wanted to die. He wasn't the man who didn't kill himself in his son's room because it would have been a desecration to spatter that room with his tainted blood. He was no longer that man. "Is it you?" Daniel and Teal'c and Carter looking at him. No longer the man that lied to his team to infiltrate the NID. Alienating them with dishonest actions and dishonest words. "Is it you?" No, he wasn't that man, it wasn't him, didn't they know him better. Not the man shaving who looked in the mirror, "Is it you?" whose brain was being rewritten? He felt his self dissolving away and didn't know who he was becoming. But there was Carter holding him at arms length, "Is it you?" Just saved from Hathor, just saved from being implanted and so cold, so very cold. "Is it you?" "Yes it's me, it's me." Didn't she know? Then there was Pete and she was turning from him to look at Pete. "Is it you?" What did she want, who did she want? Couldn't she see him, and by now after all these years didn't she know him? She turned away, just as all the rest turned away, even as he told her "It's me, it's me."
Carter heard him saw that he was agitated in a dream. A raspy groan "No" pure desperation. She tried to wake him and he grasped on to her arm. It sounded like "s'me"
He woke trying to control his breathing, edging into panic. He awoke his mind awash with the need to try to make her understand. Understand what, that he was himself. Why would she care? Why didn't she care?