Late Dawns and Early Sunsets

Late dawns and early sunsets

Just like my favorite scene,

Then holding hands and life was perfect

Just like up on the screen

And the whole time while always giving

Counting your face among the living

She was worn. It was cold and she felt stiff. She shifted and felt the scratch of an old wool blanket on her face. She shifted again drifting into consciousness, her eyes were watery and her head pounded. She tasted vomit in her mouth. It her tongue felt heavy and her lips were dry. She licked them and they tasted faintly of blood. As she started to open her eyes slowly the panicked feeling fell over her.

She realized then she was still in her clothes, and she was not in her bed. Panic flooded over her. "Where the fuck am I?" Opening in her eyes in a panicked frenzy. Then she realized. She had been here before, many times. Relief and adrenaline rushed through her...what was she doing here?

Then she saw him. He was asleep on the ground. He had stayed with her all night. He was fast asleep now, his mouth was open a little bit and he was obviously exhausted from being up all night taking care of her. For a brief moment she was embarrassed, but somewhere in the back of her mind she was that just that little girl. She knew he would always try to take care of her, she just knew. They had been through too much for her not to know that. Thinking for a second she knew she had to get home.

She thought maybe it was best if she didn't wake up...if she just let him sleep. If maybe she could take some time to wonder, take some time to figure out where her dreams ended and where reality began. Because if she stayed there for too long, she knew she'd end up giddy, hurt and hopeless. And she couldn't let that happen, not now. She lifted the itchy wool off of her and climbed out the window.

She had to run away. She had no other choice.

Running Away and hiding with you,

I never thought they'd get me here.

Not knowing you'd change from just one bite.

I fought them all off just hold you close and tight.

He woke up.

He was overwhelmed.

The first thing that came to mind was last night. The first thing that came to his mind was her. For some reason he expected for her to be there, smiling at him. For some reason he expected her to be sleeping. For some reason he thought she'd still be needing him in the morning. All he saw was the couch. The red wool blanket was still there. It was strewn aside but that was all that was left. He rubbed his face and he knew he had placed his emotions high. Everything that was last night was just a fluke. All he could do was act like last night never happened.

And all he could do was feel like without last night, he was nothing again.

But does anyone notice?

But does anyone care?

And I had the guts

To put this to your head.

But would anything matter?

If your already dead?

And should I be shot now, by the last thing you said?

Before I pull this trigger, your eyes vacant and stained...

In the safety of her room she tried to figure out everything. In her pink sheets and soft pillows she tried to remember. She remembered the hot shame...she remembered seeing him with Ashley.

Then it clicked, or snapped was more what it felt like.

She had seen him go with Ashley into an empty bedroom. She laid back down and her head pounded more. She was such a fool. She was so so stupid. She wasn't anything, how could she have thought that? She was perfect for him anyways.

All she was to him was a scared little girl, a little girl who he had to fucking look after. She looked at herself in the mirror, all she saw was the face of stupid girl. Fucking Manny Santos. A slut. She was empty and nothing and the last thing that she could hold on to didn't need her. She was just his consequence, his disaster from last year that kept him obligated from time to time to look after her stupid fuck-ups.

She hated that girl in the mirror.

She hated her. She had ruined everything. Screaming her skin burned, her eyes hurt, everything was much too small for the moment. She heard herself screaming but that could have been just the sounds of the walls leaking in on her.

Everything was much too small.

She took all the delicate bottles of makeup and perfume everything lined up on her dresser taking them and running her hand across it. She heard them shatter as she still screamed at herself.

She couldn't stop now.

She took her hand, and hit it into the mirror. It shattered. Broken into millions of little pieces, scattered across the pink fuzzy rug. She knew there was blood on her hands. But even all of the pieces couldn't bring her anything. She stopped and felt it. Across her face it fell into perfect little drops. They stuck to her eyelashes and fell onto the floor. Onto the broken pieces of glass. She stopped and everything was quiet again, where was he now? She let herself lay there for a little bit in the mess.

If he was her mistake, the least he could do was come and clean it up.

...but does anyone notice

but does anyone care?

And should I be shot now by the last thing you said?

You're a second too late.

He could give it back. He could give it all back, so she wasn't left with the useless memories. The useless hopes of him. All she could do was sit there. All she could do was breathe.

And in saying you loved me...

Made things harder at best.

Oh the angst of this story!...what will happen?

WHO KNOWS (well maybe i do but that's not the point) So this was kinda a depressed chapter but it needed to be. It told me it wanted to be and i really couldn't argue with it. oh and the song by the way is Early Sunsets Over Monroeville by My Chemical Romance...it's very...angsty, hey kinda like this chapter! go figure! Anyways Review if you want i'd really kinda like that maybe.