The Nightmare in Rainbow Valley
By Belladonna Dwale
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Chapter Two: In the Dungeon
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Sunny Daze opened it and Tink-a-Tink-a-Too and Toola Roola threw Gimpy into the door. Gimpy fell down nine small steps and onto a dirt floor. Sunny Daze, Tink-a-Tink-a-Too and Toola Roola laughed at her and slammed and locked the door behind her. Gimpy got up slowly, swearing under her breath as she did. She looked around the room and saw several ponies sitting on wooden benches. One of them was playing a sad song on a guitar. It looked like a scene from an old prison film.
"So, what are you in for?" one of them asked her.
Gimpy fainted. When she came to, she saw that there were six other ponies in the room with her.
Gimpy blinked and slowly sat up. "Where the fuck am I?" she asked.
A grey pony with green hair and a snitch symbol stepped forward, "This is the place that they put in the ponies that don't quite belong. They've got to hide us from the camera crews that come and shoot the pony movies."
"Like, um, what do you mean by that?" Gimpy asked again.
"I'm Duckie. I'm here because I want to eat ducks and I have aspirations of world domination," said a dark sky blue pegasus. She had orange eyes and yellow hair with orange bangs. Her symbol was a duck pull toy. She nodded her head at the emerald green pony with a weasel symbol that was playing the guitar. "That's boyfriend, Bean. He's here because he's too smart for ponies." His dark brown hair with a redish tinge to it had fallen in his face. He looked up.
"Ah, good, you're awake," he said.
"Um, yeah," replied Gimpy. "What does she mean by that, you know, how you're, like, too smart for ponies."
"Well, who do you think designed and built all these buildings in Ponyville?" he asked. "They didn't just grow out of the ground over night." Bean went back to his guitar and started singing, "Alas, for I cannot get laid,
"Oh, that's hot. Um, why are the rest you trapped down here?"
"Alas, for I can not get laid,
"Well, my name is Herbie," said the grey pony. "I'm here for being too outspoken."
"Stuck in the cage that I have made
"My name is Pwyll and I'm here because of my 'Non-Christian values," said a dark green pony with red hair and a dragon Celtic knot.
"For which the ponies have not yet paid.
"I'm here because I think that the 60s were fab," said a bright green unicorn with neon pink, orange, and blue hair who had the Yellow Submarine as her symbol. "Oh, and my name is Starr... Did you know that Sir Paul McCartney's ni–"
"I am trapped and here must stay,
"We don't care, Starr!" Herbie yelled.
"Alas, for I can get no lay.
"You'd better free your mind instead!" Starr yelled back.
"Stop quoting old songs and talking about old dead musicians," said Herbie.
"Alas, for I can get no play,
"But Sir Paulie isn't dead, and I quote his songs all the time, although that wasn't by him." Starr protested.
"Alas for I can get no play,
"I don't care, Starr. It's really annoying," Herbie replied.
The two continued to argue.
"Duckie and I have tried to lay,
But... Starr dumps cold water on me," Bean stopped singing and sighed. "This prison has sucked all of my music genius out of me." He shook his fist at the ceiling, as if he was shaking it at God, or a force even greater – his jailers.
Duckie giggled, removed the guitar from Bean's arms and set it aside. She climbed into his lap, "Maybe I can inspire you." She leaned forward to kiss him.
Suddenly Starr yelled, "Herbie, Code Pink! Code Pink!" Then, she threw a large glass of ice water on them.
"Duckie! Bean! Not in front of the children! I mean, it's bad enough that Bean is singing about not getting any action, but, geez, this is a My Little Pony fanfic, not some sort of trashy romance novel. So no... um... grabbing each other passionately, or whatever they do in those books," Herbie yelled. "And Bean, that song is really crappy, putting it nicely, write something better, or I'll smash your guitar."
Starr blinked, looked at Herbie and solemnly said, "And in the end The love you take Is equal to the love you make."
"Whose side are you on anyways?" Herbie asked. "And quit quoting old songs!"
Gimpy was about to make a "wow, that was hot" comment when she noticed another pony, it was Kimono.
"OH! I remember you," said Gimpy. "What happened to you? I thought you were pretty stupid or whatever like all the others are... Why are you down here?"
Kimono began sobbing, which caught Starr's attention and she promptly stopped arguing with Herbie.
Starr walked over to Kimono. "Hey, Ki', don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better."
Kimono hit Starr, rather hard across the face.
"Hey, what was that for?" Starr asked as she rubbed her cheek.
"For ruining the song."
Starr frowned, "I was just trying to help!"
"Well you can help by shutting up!"
"God crap it, what's wrong with Kimono?" asked Gimpy, rather annoyed.
Duckie went over to Gimpy and whispered, "Kimono isn't really a girl... She's a transvestite."
Gimpy giggled, "Oh, wow, that's hot." She glanced at the others, "So, um... what do we do now?"
"Well, we usually sit around all day, at one point Pwyll starts joking about how we ought to sacrifice someone to her Pagan gods so they'll free us," Starr explained. "Then Bean plays his guitar for a bit, but stops when I start threatening to smash it if he doesn't play 60s music. At some point in the day, Bean starts philosophizing and I say something like, 'All we are is dust in the wind, Dude.' Anyway, Herbie yells at me for quoting more songs. Then I say, 'When in doubt quote Kansas.' After that we just sit around and stare at stuff and try to make small talk until supper comes."
"Yeah, that pretty much summarizes the day," said Duckie.
"Oh, and sometimes, Duckie and Bean try to snog, so I throw my ice water at them," added Starr.
Bean shook his fist menacingly at Starr.
"You know, it's too bad that we can't escape," Herbie pointed out.
"Too bad the door is impossible to bust down," pointed out Starr. Pwyll nodded in agreement.
"But we've never TRIED to escape before, how would you know that?" asked Herbie.
"We've been here longer than you have, believe me, We've tried," said Pwyll.
"Wait, I bet we could," said Bean, looking up from his guitar. "I just remembered that there's a secret passage that leads from here up to the Great Hall."
Everyone groaned.
"God, Bean! Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Herbie yelled at him.
"I've kind of forgotten the way out of it. It's a maze, you see, and there are little problems that we have to solve on the way," Bean explained.
"Well, we might as well try to get out," said Kimono. "Getting lost in a maze is better than being stuck in here."
"Ok, first we need to come up with a plan of when to escape," Bean said. "We also need to decide what to do once we actually have escape, if that happens."
"LET'S DO IT, MIKEY!" yelled Starr, and everyone gave her a strange look.
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Author's Note:
"Let's do it, Mikey!" is from Etcetera Kit (she has some fanfics on ).
Ok, 2 out of 4 to 6 chapters down. If you haven't noticed, I've put random quotes from various songs in here. No, I don't claim to have written them, nor do I own them or anything. Here are the quotes from songs, song title, and song writer(s):
"You'd better free your mind instead." – "Revolution 1" written by John Lennon.
"And in the end The love you take Is equal to the love you make." – "The End" by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
"Hey, Ki', don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better." This has been bastardized from "Hey, Jude" by Paul McCartney. (Original lyrics: "Hey, Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better...")
"All we are is dust in the wind, Dude." – from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure which was taken from "Dust in the Wind" by Eric Benet (I believe, correct me if I'm wrong).
And now that this is over with, I'm sure that John Lennon and George Harrison are doing cartwheels in their graves or something like that. Perhaps their ghosts are going to come back and haunt me for this. Not that I'd object to it, well, not really.