Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or things that you recognize from HP books (wish I did though). They all belong to the wonderful author- J.K. Rowling.

Spoiler: all HP books up to OoTP

My Confession

We were close. Only one and a half years apart, my sister and I. Lily and I.

I am Petunia Evans Dursley and this is my confession.

You may think that I am the evil aunt of Harry Potter. I will admit that I was not, am not the kindest to my nephew, Lily's only child. But how could I, when his own being represents the man, the world that took my sister away? Every time I look upon his face and those green eyes, they remind me of what I had lost all those years ago.

Lily and I were close. Side by side. Two peas in the pot, that's what my parents used to say. We had loving moments between sisters. We had laughed together at meaningless jokes. And like every regular sisters. We had arguments. We had shouted, declaring that we hated each other. But we still love the other.

She was the older one of us. I will honestly confess that I've always been envious, and maybe in some years- jealous. She was Spitfire when I was simply Petty. She had vibrant green eyes, untouched by any other colors; mine were simply brown, dull and lifeless compared to hers. She had good grades when mine were average.

Our parents had never compared us. I thank them for that because if they had, I would've been bitterer. Lily never held anything against me. Not in our earlier years when I lived under her imaginary shadow- the shadow that I've created myself. Nor in the later years when jealousy and hurt had driven me to the point of calling her a freak- something I regret doing.

She had always said that we are sister through and through, that we are side by side. Throughout her life, she had tried to prove to me that nothing was changed between us. Yet in the end, we are worlds apart.

It had first come upon me when I turned eleven. Lily was already attending Hogwarts. The entire family was surprised when she received her letter. We were, what I learnt from Lily, Muggles. And she was a Muggle-born. We were ecstatic to have a witch in the family. Though as envious as I was, I was happy too. It was a change in our lives. Contrary to popular belief, I like changes. They make wonderful gossips.

I had thought that if Lily is a witch, I could be one too. But my letter never came.

That day, my envy for her changed. It became jealousy.

I had never realized that it was jealousy, not until recently when I got a letter from the Headmaster of her school. In that letter, it reminded me that we are sisters. Her words. I finally understood them.

'Petty, no matter what, we are sisters. Side by side.'

During those years when she attended that school and I in another boarding school, we returned for summer. I had always watched her from afar when she returned home with a satisfied smile, mind full of jealous thoughts. I knew that 'magic' was part of her but I could never accept her. I had wondered why she had to take up a part of her that was different from me. And that why she had to be the one that has a 'gift', a special ability.

She used to show me the different things she had learnt. She used to complain about this boy she met in her year. I had always thought that she was trying to show that she was the better daughter. In a way, I realize now, she was, for she never tried to over shadow her jealous sister. All she had tried to do was to include me in her world, but it was an invitation I had rejected, bluntly. Cruelly.

'I want nothing to do with you, you freak!'

I knew I hurt her then. And at that age, I was glad. Glad to see Lily down. Glad to see her vulnerable. She had stopped trying. I don't blame her. She was quick to forgive but she was no saint. She had stormed off, fighting off tears, while I gleefully observed.

After my words, we'd still shared pleasantries, the minimal ones, but we never talked again. Not about her life, not about mine. Until that day she brought that awful boy home. The boy she had complained about in our earlier years. The wizard that ruined Lily's life. The man who brought Lily's life to an early end with all he stood for. His name was James Potter.

When I first met James Potter, Vernon and I were still friends. James Potter, thinking back, was not an awful boy. He was actually far from 'awful'. I must confess that he was rather attractive and intelligent. And quite a charmer too. Our parents loved him, even when he brought with him ill news and worse fate.

'I capture Death Eater, evil wizards or witches that kill Muggle-born, and put them in Azkaban, the wizard prison, guarded by creatures called Dementors.'

That was one of the three times that I've seen him. The second time I met him was at Lily and his wedding. Vernon and I were having a difficult time in our relationship, but we attended together. It was the second time in my life that thought struck me.

I had always thought that the witch and magic side of Lily was a phase. A small part of me, through all my jealousy and disdain for their ways, had hoped that Lily would abandon her wand and marry a Normal man.

That never happened. Lily chose a wizard.

When they spoke their vows, I had again realized that we were worlds apart. I told her that when, as normal sisters would do, I congratulated her in front of our relatives' eyes. That day at the wedding, before Vernon and I depart.

'You chose this life, Lily. We are worlds apart now. Just wait, nothing good will befall upon you in this life.'

I didn't mean for the words to sound so harsh. But it did. I couldn't stop myself. It just happened. Maybe it was my relationship problem that drove me to say such thing when her eyes shone with happiness. Or maybe, it was the hurt I felt, when I realized that she was happy in a world that I will never belong.

That time, I did not feel the glee that I had every time I insulted her, hurt her. This time, when I saw from the cab's window that her smile did not reach her eyes, I felt oddly empty.

The last time I saw Lily and her husband was at the funeral of our parents' funeral. Lily and I were both pregnant. We told our relatives that they died of a car crash. Vernon thought it was a car crash too. He had said that Lily or her husband should have driven them home after dinner. But as their daughters, we knew better. Our parents were murdered. By wizards.

I was furious, filled with sadness. Our parents would never be able to see their grandchildren. Just because Lily was a witch. Just because she wouldn't give up 'magic'. Just because she joined a world that she should never belong.

When the funeral ended and our parents lay in their eternal beds, Vernon left to collect our transport, I approached her. Voluntarily. For the first and last time in years. I, in fear and distressed, told her that I wanted her out of my life. Away from my family and I. I had yelled at her. Hurled insults at her.

'I hate you! You're truly nothing but a witch! A woman who brings nothing but sorrow to people!'

In her grief filled mind, she did not say anything. Did not defend herself, though her husband did try. She stopped him. She just listened and let her tears flow. At the end of my rant, she said only two things. She asked for my forgiveness, which I truly think that I should've been the one asking. And she asked for a promise. An oath.

'Promise me, Petunia, please. If anything happens to me, please take care of my child. If you can do that, sister, I'll disappear from your life.'

I promised her. I had been desperate to push her away from my life.

As promised, she never contacted me again. I had only heard about the birth of Harry form our relatives. I had never seen her again. Nor had I seen her son. Not until I found him at my door step nearly sixteen years ago, looking at me with Lily's eyes. Telling me to fulfill my promise. To honor the pledge I made that day. Also informing me the fate that had befallen upon my sister. The fate her husband's and her world brought upon her.

We were truly worlds apart. My sister and I.

It was then I told Vernon of the secret behind my parents' deaths. I told him about Lily's magical abilities. We both promised that we would not allow her son to walk the same road that his mother chose. We vowed that we would do everything within our power to stop him from attending that school, even it meant treating him as a slave.

It had been hard in the beginning. I often see his eyes and it reminded me of Lily. But as Harry grew, it became easier. He looked so alike to his father that, as long as I don't look at him in the eyes, it does not hurt to do so.

Over the years, it had become purely a habit for me, to order him around. My fear lessened with time. But I never really forgot the promise I made to my sister. It was at the back of my mind. Both, my sister and the promise. The promise of taking him under my care. Not until when my own son was attacked by Dementors.

I was once again shaken with fear. So paralyzed with fear that I allowed Vernon to push Harry away. The Headmaster of Lily's school sent a letter to us. To remind me of my promise, the power of the words between sisters, also to let me think about the sister I've lost. First to jealousy and second to Death.

Now that I have time to think and acknowledge her part in my life. I must confess:

I love her, more than I let her know.

A/N: Well...This is the first chapter of my series of 'My Confession'. 'My Confession' would be different confessions of the characters from HP books. I am working Peter's right now, give me some suggestion of other characters that I can write about! Oh yeah...and please Review!!