Disclaimer: I own none of these characters

A/N: Thanks to all reviewers, I love you all. I was going to write Lucius's confession...but suddenly I thought Narcissa's might be interesting, so i wrote hers first. So don't worry, I'll be writing his in sometimes in the future.

My Confession- Narcissa

I used to believe in love. The undying ardor between man and woman. Not anymore. Love doesn't matter. Not in the beginning, nor in the end. It does not exist in my world. And I was a fool to believe, to hope for that love.

My name is Narcissa Malfoy. A proud and last descendents of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

There is only one thing in my world- Power.

My family is the epitome of Power. One of the most influencing families in the wizarding world. From the very first Black till the very last. It is a fact unchanged for centuries past and the years to come. Though not from the original branch, in which Sirius and Regulus were in, power still flow in me. The power brought to me by my name.

I am the middle child, with Andromeda four years older and dear Bellatrix a year younger. The Golden sisters of the Black family. We were not close though. Perhaps Bella and I were closer in some ways since our age is similar. But Bellatrix and I were not close, nor Andromeda and I. We were polite to each other. We helped each other. But we did not love each other. It was only Power we wanted. Yearned for. And together, we had it. We had the power and the beauty. We had everything that any girl would want.

Everything but love. I did not even love my parents. They have done naught that encourage me to love them. To them, their daughters were porcelain dolls, trophies to the world. I was, so were Andromeda and Bella.

When Andromeda was sorted into Ravenclaw, there was so much shame. I still remember clearly that day the news arrived. My parents were furious. They put up a façade in front of guests, claiming that it did not matter. But that night, when they were alone in the house, they were screaming, blaming each other for not being 'pure' in heart enough to have their daughter sorted into Slytherin.

Until that day, I still believed in the silly thing called love. That day the truth came crashing down. Love did not exist. At least not in my world. In my world, I'm only a trophy.

Before that day, I've always wanted love. I've seen girls of my age on streets holding onto their parents' hands, laughing or crying. It never happened to me. I was always two steps behind my parents, with a posture of a top class socialite. Silent until spoken to.

Since news arrived about Andromeda's house, my parents had drilled me with the ways of Slytherin. The posture. The attitude. The mind. Though Andromeda's house was not as bad as Sirius', they were not taking the chance, in case history repeats itself.

I was sorted into Slytherin, to the relief of my parents. Things were easy. I was accustomed to that sort of life already. It was similar to home. Cold, silent and power hungry. Very Power hungry. Love was a word that did not exist at all. I sneered at that word. To me, at that age, it was a thing that powerless or fools said they have. I was neither.

My belief, or rather disbelief, for love continued until my seventh year. There were no questions for it. Every decent female in my house knew that. There was only power and those that claim the power. There was no love. It did not exist.

Evans was the Head Girl. A Mudblood Head girl. My parents were not pleased. But they did not question the authority of Dumbledore. For he was powerful. I, though, had openly challenged Evans in many areas concerning the purity of blood and power. It was something that she did not have.

'It's sad that this is all you are looking for...There are so many greater things that a girl would want in this world.'

Evans said that and she turned away from me and walked off with Potter, the blood traitor, hand in hand. I was livid. She was a Mudblood and I a Pureblood. Whilst I can turn away from her, she can't. It was an unwritten law. But unlike what Bellatrix said I should had done- hex her, I let her walk away. It was first time in years that someone's words affected me. She was below me. Unworthy of my time. But she left me pondering. Wondering what she was referring to.

I had thought that she meant love. But I soon dismissed that thought. She was not worth my time. Nor did her romantic interest or in fact anything in general that had to do with her and love. Only power mattered. Anyone who chose love over power was a fool.

But Andromeda was no fool. She was, albeit slightly plain, the more intelligent sister of the three of us. She was quiet and power hungry. Hungry for knowledge. That was why she was in Ravenclaw.

'Blood does not matter to me. Nor does his wealth. I will choose him no matter what...even if it means being wiped off the family tree.'

Andromeda chose love over power.

It was the end of seventh year when the news reached Bellatrix and I at Hogwarts. We received Andromeda's letter concerning her engagement with a Mudblood. That letter was soon followed by the family owl.

When my parents found out about Andromeda's engagement to the Mudblood Tonks, she was immediately erased from the family tree. As the middle child, often ignored or overlooked; I, for once, got the attention I wanted. The pampering, the praises...the privilege of the eldest. But no sooner the burden of this power came.

The arranged marriage between the Blacks and Malfoys.

Andromeda was supposed to be betrothed of the Malfoy heir. But with her deleted from the family tree, I was to take her place. Lucius was six years senior. A man with status and power and a pure bloodline. It was the perfect match. Everyone in the household believed that. Everyone in the wizarding society believed that. To them, it was a fairytale. The Golden Princess marrying to the Prince Charming.

Secretly, I must admit, over the years, subconsciously, I've always yearned for love. The love like Andromeda's or Evans'.

The soft and comforting romance that Andromeda told me about.

'It is the most amazing feeling of knowing that he will be there when you need him. When he puts his arms around you, you know you're home and you're safe.'

The strong and burning passion that I've overheard from Evans.

'It is as if I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. I look into his eyes and I can see the passion...the message of "You're the only one for me". He touches me and I know that if he were to ever let go, I would just die...'

The marriage between Lucius and me... It was a loveless marriage. A marriage of power. A matrimony with ambitions so high that it would have made Salazar Slytherin proud.

Draco was the product of our marriage. I adore him. He was a beautiful child. He was the only thing that kept me company in the huge manor. But it was still lonely. Draco was only with me several hours of the day. As a wife of powerful and influencing family, there were certain expectations. Expectations that came with the power. It was inappropriate for me to feed or change the child. It was a servant's job.

I've drowned myself in power and the riches it brought me. It was all about power. Always have been. Power gave me everything. Nearly.

That night Lucius returned, telling me the news of the death of James and Lily Potter and the disappearance of the Dark Lord. I cried. I sobbed next to Draco's crib. But not for the vanishing of the Dark Lord. I cried for Draco...and myself.

'Potter died trying to protect his Mudblood and his son. The Mudblood is dead too...But for some reason, the baby survived and the Dark Lord's gone...we need-...'

I was ashamed. I finally learnt of the love Evans talked about. Her selfless love for her child. As much as I wanted to, I am not sure if I could do that. I cried for Draco because his mother did not love him. At least not enough to sacrifice herself. The courage and love, I could not obtain through power or connection.

I cried for myself too. It was that night I realized that there was something that I don't have- Love. It was something I cannot have, did not have in all my life. Even with the strongest power. Lucius would not die for me. Nor would I die for Lucius. I cried because what I thought I did not need, I needed it most. I cried because Evans had her lover's altruistic devotion and I don't. I cried because I can never have it.

I thought with time, I would learn to admire or even love Lucius. I could not though. I tried, but I was unable to. I fear him. Lucius is a handsome man. But he was cold. And his devotion lays solely in the family name and in his Lord- the Dark Lord. Everything came second. Including me, his wife and our son Draco.

When I married, I thought it didn't matter to me.

But it did.

In the end, I realize: I still yearn for love. Power will never satisfy my thirst. I am in a desert without an oasis.

A/N: another done once again, thank you to those who reviewed and please continue to review. Suggestions are welcomed and errr....I might work on Dumbledore's next keyword: might REVIEW PLEASE! I'm desperate :p