Aishuu Offers
Afterimage
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Shoujo Kakumei Utena - la fillette revolutionnaire" (C) Be-PaPas, Chiho Saito/Shogakukan, Shokaku Iinkai, TV Tokyo. The US version "Revolutionary Girl Utena" is (C) Central Park Media.
AN: Dedicated to Gerald Tarrant, who some would say is my better half.
Credit where credit is due. This monster fic needs a lot of help, and I've been blessed by some wonderful people:
Ekaterina- concept editing
Lyra Stormrider- initial editor
Charles Werness- technical editor
Allyn Yonge- editor
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Part Three: Scales of Mystery
I always wanted to be someone special.
For a while, I sought this through my oniisama...after all, he is perfection in male form. No one else has ever come close to making me doubt that...or so I believed for the longest time.
I lived in a dream world for most of my younger years, possessively jealous of my oniisama's affection. He didn't need any of the hussies who draped their bodies over him; they didn't love him like I did. They didn't know what made him happy. They wouldn't give him what he needed in the long run - only I could do that. Only I knew the real Kiryuu Touga.
Then things changed.
Touga graduated from Ohtori Academy; after two years at the University there, he chose to continue his education at a different school, claiming that Ohtori simply wasn't the right place for him.
"Nanami, I'm sorry, but… Ohtori isn't where I belong anymore."
"But oniisama!" I protested. "Ohtori has one of the best university curriculums in the country! You can't be serious!" I placed my hands on his chest, as though that could stop him from leaving. He simply didn't know how much I needed him to stay. How much my definition of myself depended on him. He simply didn't understand how much my very existence was balanced upon his presence. Without him, I was… ordinary.
He looked down at me, and his eyes held that gentle light that Touga only ever showed me. Many people claimed I was a parasite, feeding off his glory, but that wasn't true. Touga loved me; he needed to know that no matter what, I would always be there for him. The other women in his life would come and go, but I was eternal. With a graceful hand he brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes; his face was determined, yet gentle. He was trying to think of a way to tell me something I didn't want to hear. I knew every nuance of his expressions by heart.
"Nanami, this place is like a cage to me now," he said, raking the hand now through his red hair, red as blood, redder then the reddest rose. "I don't know why that happened, or when my perspective changed, but it has. I must shatter the cage and find something else - something different.. Nanami," he paused, the second hanging eternally between us, "you'll understand someday."
A shuddering sob wracked my body in response to his gentle explanation, and then another. I fell forward into Touga's arms - the arms that had always been there when I needed them; the arms that were soon to be taken away - and cried until it felt like I had shed all the tears I had to shed. My fingers gripped his pristine white uniform tightly, but there was nothing I could do aside from mourn. He held me tightly as I cried; for some reason, that just made things worse.
I tried to delude myself, tried to deny the reality of his leaving until the day of departure by telling myself that he really wouldn't go, that he really wouldn't set foot on the train to Tokyo; yet he did. He waved to me once from his window, and then never looked back.
Without Touga…Life without Touga.
Touga was gone.
There were so many ways I could have put it, but it all boiled down to the same thing: Touga was gone. He had stepped beyond my reality. Even when he came home, I could only catch fleeting glimpses of him.
Still, I learned the hard way that life went on, no matter how I may have detested that fact.
I went into my next class with my usual coterie of admirers. No one was special to me, though. Miki might have been, but the year Juri left, he took a pass as well, transferring into some college of a name I can't remember. He was doing something with mathematics I couldn't even begin to understand, which was a pity. He had been such a wonderful musician - I wondered why he didn't become an actual professional. He had always been lauded as a child prodigy, and it was a tragedy indeed for him to not use and develop his talent.
It made me sad. If I had been able to play even a fraction as well as he, I would have given up all other pursuits. Then again, he was so talented at everything he tried that I couldn't help but be jealous. I wished that I wasn't...ordinary. Couldn't I have someone care for me as Nanami rather than as Touga's little sister? Wasn't there someone who could understand my loneliness, and perhaps soothe it somewhat?
It was tenth grade before I found one of my answers, and it came in startling shape. That year, Kaoru Kozue walked into my life.
I had known about her since we were very young - there were few families as wealthy as ours, and fewer still had children our age. Still, we had never had much to do with each other. She had been wrapped up in her brother, and I in mine. As we aged, she had become more outlandish and promiscuous, as well as one of the few girls in school who didn't want to be a part of my retinue. It wasn't that we disliked each other; we merely had nothing to talk about
I became aware of her slowly. For a few weeks I felt like someone was watching me. I assumed, naturally enough, that it was another male admirer, or perhaps even Tsuwabuki cutting class to be closer to me.
Since Tsuwabuki had taken Miki's place on Student Council (quite an accomplishment for a fifth grader!) he had become too busy to serve as my lackey. We were still close - as close as I let anyone, at least. Every now and then he would make me a lunch, surprise me with a flower, or do something else special, but those times were becoming fewer and further between.
I wouldn't admit it, but I missed him. Part of me hoped it was him who was watching me.
Then there came a day when I was able to shake off Keiko, Yuuko, and Aiko to spend some time by myself in the greenhouse. I was tired of having them praise my every decision without thinking for themselves - their mindless devotion was irritating. I didn't trust them as far as I could throw them. As for the greenhouse, well, it has always been a place that has raised ambivalent feelings in me. I don't know why.
I wandered among the roses, drawn to the yellow ones. They were so pretty, but that wasn't the only reason they appealed to me. Every year on my birthday, my parents would send me a bouquet of two-dozen yellow roses - the only gift I would receive from them.
"You seem uncomfortable here," a voice said, and I spun around, meeting the person who had been shadowing me. "I wonder why you keep coming back?"
My eyes widened as I recognized the girl on sight. "Kozue?" I asked, surprised.
She was perched on an overturned flowerpot, her slender legs stretched out before her, crossed demurely at the ankles. In her left hand she was twisting a white rose that she had apparently plucked. She reminded me of her brother - he was always eerily perceptive at the weirdest moments. "Hello, Nanami," she said, smiling at me. "I've been watching you lately."
"It was you?" I asked, shocked.
Her smile was shy, rather then sly as I had been expecting. "Yes."
"Why?" I demanded. She wasn't the type to want to become one of my followers.
"I'll tell you tonight." She tossed me the rose she had been holding. "I'll meet you tonight at your house."
"And why should I go along with your whim?" I demanded.
Kozue's smile widened slightly. "Because you're curious." She came to her feet with practiced grace and left. I was so shocked that I couldn't think up a decent retort before she left. What shocked me most was the fact that she was right. I was curious.
She hadn't mentioned what time I was to expect her, and that annoyed me as I worked on my homework later that evening. Hour after hour passed, until I looked at the clock to see that it was nearly eleven. I was about ready to call it quits and go to bed when the doorbell rang and my butler showed her in.
Kozue stood silhouetted in the doorway for a second before entering. She was wearing simple clothes that flattered her figure and coloring well - a short lavender skirt paired with a light yellow sweater. On her feet was a pair of three-inch heels that made me wince to see. Usually they wouldn't bother me - I'd wear them myself - but the time of the day made me think of the potential backaches associated with heels. I ignored my random thoughts, focusing on the issue. "Well, Kozue? Are you going to tell me what's up?"
Kozue advanced on me until she could trace my face gingerly with the very tips on her fingers, so lightly that I barely felt her touch. My breathing quickened in surprise as she tugged me closer and rested her head against my shoulder. I smelled the light jasmine fragrance of her hair and wondered why it felt like the other half of my soul was embracing me. Suddenly, it hit me: Kozue was someone who could understand. She was someone as alone as I.
"Kozue..." I whispered, trying to find something to say that wouldn't sound too idiotic. I hate idiots, especially when I'm one myself.
She pressed closer, and before I realized what was happening, I lost my balance. We fell, her arms still locked around me, and plopped onto the couch. She snuggled on top of me like a child seeking reassurance. "Nanami, you know," she whispered, and I felt a warm moisture against my collarbone - the warmth of tears.
And I did know. She didn't have to say anything else. I automatically locked her in an embrace, and we lay there for a while, listening to each other's heartbeats.
"Will it ever get better?" she asked.
"Not until we can live without the regret," I said bitterly. "Sometimes I think it'd be better to never have been his sister then to know this pain," I took a deep breath, and then my voice softened as I continued, "and then I remember him saying my name, and I curse myself for ever regretting a moment."
"At least Miki still lives with me," Kozue said. She spoke against my chest, and I half-felt the vibration of her words throughout my torso.
"Yes, at least you still have that," I replied, managing not to sound too jealous. "But I bet it's worse in a way."
"It is," she said. "He's not mine anymore; I can't understand what he is.
"When I was little, Miki and I did everything together. He's always been shy, so I've protected him his entire life. Usually with twins there's a dominant one, and most people automatically assumed that I was it. I would take the lead, and he would follow. Or so it seemed.
"I've always been in Miki's shadow. I don't mind, honestly. I wouldn't know what to with talent, anyway. He can do anything - he's an eidetic, a savant. He's not just a genius, Nanami; he's so intelligent that he's already been offered dozens of jobs. College is just a formality - I think he's doing it because that's what is expected.
"I held him back. Miki wouldn't leave me. He waited as long as he could, stayed at Ohtori for me, but he finally ran out of classes. My father finally forced him to leave last year - he said that Ohtori didn't offer the specialized education Miki was entitled to. He was right, of course."
She sniffled slightly, and I petted her hair reassuringly. "Miki could have gone anywhere, done anything - he was seriously considering Julliard, but he didn't go. He stayed here to be near me - he doesn't need me anymore, Nanami, but he knows I need him."
She lay on top of me for another moment before I was able to shift her slightly so that she wasn't weighing me down anymore. She allowed it, but maintained a loose grip as she snuggled close to my side. I petted her hair a few times, and suddenly realized that it had been a long day, and that I was tired. Almost unconsciously, my eyelids drifted shut, and I was lulled to sleep by the even rhythm of Kozue's breathing.
It was the sweetest night's sleep I ever remember having.
After that, Kozue was the only one I could find comfort in. We weren't lovers; no, physical intimacy paled beside what we had. What we had was a link between souls, a knowledge that someone the other understood what it was like to be in the shadow of a brother who was so much more then she or I could ever hope to be.
She would come to my house sometimes and do nothing but cry. Miki wasn't cruel to her; Miki was incapable of that. No, she was cruel to herself, wallowing in her self-perceived inadequacy. Other times she would arrive to drag me out and party all night. Though I wondered where she had procured the fake ID, I didn't ask. Sometimes it was best to just accept. I learned quickly not to condemn her, not even for her most outrageous exploits, for she would only become more outlandish and take chances that were downright dangerous. As I remember it, it amazes me how lucky we were.
It may sound like she was a parasite, latching onto me, but she wasn't. I, in return for my patience, received something just as valuable. She gave her friendship to me, and it was a precious gift. I had someone to speak to freely, someone who understood how I could love my brother almost to the point of obsession…someone who could care for me as an individual, yet still understand the ties that bound me so tightly Touga.
I would have done anything for her, and she for me. She made me laugh at her wildness, and reminded me that life was a game, one not to be taken too seriously all the time. We would do everything together, and sometimes it seemed like she lived over at my house - I didn't get too close to hers, though, for I understood that it was still sacred. Miki lived there, sometimes, though I had never once run across him. Other times he would be away for days or even weeks at a time, though Kozue would never tell me why.
So it wasn't a big surprise when Kozue called me over to her house one night to weeks before we were due to graduate. What I did find shocking, however, was that she told me that it was "urgent." Anyone who knew Kozue knew that she wouldn't consider Armageddon itself urgent, so, needless to say, I was concerned.
I walked into her house without waiting to be let in. I found her in the living room and took a seat across from her, studying her pale face with concern.
"Kozue?" I asked. "Did something happen?"
She was nibbling on her lip nervously and her eyes looked haggard. "Last week, I received a package in the mail. I didn't think anything of it - after all, I am graduating, so I assumed it was some kind of gift."
"Naturally enough. What was it? A spiteful little trinket from an old love?" God knew she certainly had enough of them, and not all of them had parted with her on the best of terms. Some would relish the chance to upset her.
"I only wish." She shivered, even though the room felt almost tropical - the heat was cranked up so high that beads of sweat were forming on my brow. "It was something much worse."
She bent down and slid something I hadn't noticed before from under the couch. It was a long, slender box made of a deep brown wood, a wood that almost had a tint of red to it. Her hands trembled as she placed it on the table between us. "It doesn't look like a bomb," I replied lightly, trying to soften the mood.
"I guess you could call it one," she said softly. "It certainly blew my life to hell." She looked at me, her eyes heavily shadowed from lack of sleep.
"Well, what IS it?" I demanded.
"Heaven and Hell," she replied. "Salvation forged through damnation."
I scowled at her, not in the mood for word games. Without waiting for permission, I reached over to open the box. She whimpered, but made no move to stop me. As soon as I lifted the lid, my mind exploded.
A sword, nestled in a pile of yellow roses.
Ambition...desire for escape from terrible knowledge.
/You didn't seem like anything but a kind older brother./
/That was just an act. My parents told me: "Think of her as your sister and treat her well." If not for that, there's no way I'd hang around her. That commonplace, boring woman.../
Siblings entwined in each other arms, incestuous love, and my horrified reaction at the sight.
/Are you and Touga-sama maybe not related by blood...?/
My lackey, my friend, coming closer to me, too close, gazing at me with eyes that were shadowed with something that was far beyond either of us, a marionette.
/W- Wait! That's too close, Tsuwabuki! Tsu- Tsuwabuki?/
Pain. Terrible, dreadful pain. Physical, emotional...being spun around by forces I didn't even begin to understand.
With a trembling hand, I picked the blade up. I had never held this before, and the blade felt awkward, not right, in my hands. I knew it on sight, though. The Sword of Dios...the sword that could grant the power to incite revolution, the power to change everything.
The power to destroy a life…or save it.
"Nanami? Nanami?" A voice spoke, seeming to come from a great distance. "Nanami!" A sharp sting across my face, and then I was aware of my surroundings.
Kozue knelt before me, her hand still raised, prepared to deliver another slap should it prove necessary. Her eyes were locked on me, and I was reminded of her twin for a second. Her coloring had a slightly lavender edge to it, but otherwise it could have been Miki kneeling before me, worried about a friend.
"Dios…" I whispered, dropping the sword like it was a snake.
/I want to surpass everything./
It /was/ a snake, the very snake that had tempted Eve with the forbidden fruit.
"I'm so sorry…I shouldn't have…" Kozue said. "This is my problem. But when I saw it, I thought you might know what to do - I can't drag Miki into this - he'd never forgive me…"
I smiled at her. "You did the right thing. I don't know who sent this to you, but they were wrong to. You barely had anything to do with it."
"Do with what, exactly?" she asked. "I can't remember…something about seventh grade. And Miki…and the other members of the Student Council. You took Touga's place for a while, didn't you?"
/It's all right, Oniisama. I'll look after the Student Council./
/From now on, I will act as my brother's proxy./
"Yes. But Miki will need to know."
Her eyes were haunted. "I can't - I betrayed him somehow."
I took her hand and squeezed it gently. "It will be alright, Kozue. I promise to do my best - I will treat him as though he were my own brother."
She understood exactly what I meant by that promise. Only she could have understood what a firm vow that was. "Nanami..." Her eyes were full of reluctant relief. She hated putting this burden on me, but was relieved it wasn't hers to bear anymore.
I smiled at her gently. "Let me take this. I'll deal with it," I promised.
She squeezed my hand back in thanks, a grateful expression on her face.
I had my chauffeur drive me home. All during the ride home, my mind was working automatically, starting to form plans.
What could I do with it? The damn sword? Where was I to start?
Touga.
I could call oniisama.
But...I didn't want to get him involved. And by that token, Saionji would be out as well - he and oniisama were too close. This was something I would do for myself, something to prove to myself that I didn't need him - that I could function without him.
Juri? A possibility. Juri had always been clever, but she didn't like me. She would never agree to see me...the only one of the Student Council she had liked was Miki. We had all liked him.
I blinked as it came to me. If I hooked Miki, then Juri would follow...she wouldn't be able to see him involved in Ohtori's past without trying to protect him. And it wouldn't be breaking my promise to Kozue, either; she would want Miki to know the truth, as I would tell oniisama once it was all done.
So how to get Miki to talk to me? He must have been at least subconsciously - if not actively - avoiding me ever since leaving. So that meant...I'd need an excuse.
My graduation party. He owed me a favor for the time I'd bailed Kozue out of jail (a rather interesting story; a misunderstanding, really), so he could play at my party. And then I'd give him the Sword of Dios, and see what resulted.
As soon as I arrived home, I went upstairs to the room that contained my mementos. I had almost forgotten about it, but there was a certain ring that I'd carefully put away with Touga's senior yearbook, a ring that I now intended to reclaim.
/Nanami, give me your left hand./
/Oniisama.../
I thought my hands had grown, along with the rest of me, but the ring still fit on my left hand perfectly. I stared at it, amazed at how the seal could be so simple and so intricate at the same time.
/Have you forgotten, Nanami? The Rose Signet is the only piece of authentication that allows you to fight Duels here at the Academy. Now show me your power, as a chosen one of the "Ends of the World."/
Two weeks of anxious preparation and weird dreams passed until the day of the party. I dreamt of a girl, a girl I hated and envied, kittens and yellows roses. I dreamt of Tsuwabuki and Keiko, oniisama and Saionji, Miki and Juri. I dreamt of a girl with purple hair from my seventh grade year, and our Chairman Ohtori Akio.
The party went almost as well as I could have expected. I hadn't expected Miki to lose his temper and hit me - he had never been the violent type - but it happened.
I called Kozue's house after the party to speak to Miki. She was rather surprised, but said Miki had spent the night at Juri's, as he often did.
So I called Juri. After one of our infamous catfights, I made plans to see her at seven that day for dinner. Then I went to bed.
The next day was one of the slowest I can remember - I kept checking the clock every fifteen minutes, wishing I had some way to make time go faster. The doorbell finally rang at almost eight that evening. I muttered as I went to get it. I should have let the butler get it, as had been my original intention, but I was too irritated to bother. As I swung it open I saw Juri and Miki standing there, and I could tell from the collected look on Juri's face that she had been late on purpose.
"You're late," I said.
Juri's eyes were cold. "So? I don't have to let you order me around." She stepped in, carrying herself like a queen. If I had believed in reincarnation, I would have wagered money that Juri had once been Cleopatra herself. Miki followed behind her, slightly subservient. His blue eyes flashed warningly at me, and I didn't snap the quick retort that was on my tongue. If Miki was in a bad mood - and I couldn't blame him for it - there would be no intermediary between Juri and myself. And Juri and I had never been the best of friends.
"Dinner is waiting to be served," I said.
"We ate before coming," Juri replied, apparently deciding to speak for Miki as well as herself.
"I invited you for dinner," I said firmly. I wasn't giving ground to her this early in the game. "If you already ate, you can watch me eat while we have a civil conversation. You've not spoken to me in a while, you declined my invitation to my graduation party, and you've reacted in a hostile manner to every one of my overtures of friendship - so you're damn well going to behave like the civilized person I know you are, Arisugawa Juri!"
She blinked at me, then nodded graciously. "Very well. We will eat first."
I led them to dining room, and Miki, ever the gentleman, pulled out our seats for both of us and carefully made sure we were comfortable before taking his own place. His startling blue eyes watched me as I rang for the servants to bring the first course.
Conversation was stilted. I tried to draw them both into discussion about themselves, but their one-word answers discouraged me from pressing. I didn't bring up the Student Council, and both of them seemed disinclined to as well, picking at their food.
We were on the cheese course when Juri apparently decided she had had enough. "Nanami, where did you get the Sword of Dios?" Her voice contained the same frightening intensity that had once caused one of her weaker-willed teachers to quit his job in terror.
I wasn't weak, though. I wouldn't be cowed by her - I was strong. "We'll discuss this after dinner," I told her firmly.
She glared at me, but finished quickly. Juri's glower followed my movements as I went to the sideboard after finishing my own meal. "Would you like a drink, Juri-sempai? Perhaps a brandy?"
"No. What I want is for you to stop avoiding the question and give me a straight answer."
"Miki, a strawberry daiquiri, right?" I asked breezily, pretending not to hear her.
"Nanami..." he said softly, his voice firm.
I was pushing, and I knew it. "Wait for a second," I ordered, preparing three drinks - brandy for Juri, a strawberry daiquiri for Miki, and a red wine for myself. As the blender crushed the ice, I hummed quietly, ignoring their eyes on me. The drinks were ready all too soon, and I knew I had put the conversation off as long as possible.
I placed the drinks on a tray and carried it over, setting it down on the coffee table after distributing beverages. "I think I remember what you guys liked - if I made a mistake, let me know."
"Nanami!" Juri snapped. "We've had nothing but evasions from you all evening! Now you're going to give me some straight answers, or I will personally pull out all your hair, one strand at a time."
I didn't doubt that she was quite capable of what she was threatening. Juri had never been one for idle threats. "Fine."
"To start with, where in the world did you get the Sword of Dios?" she demanded.
"I got it from Kozue - someone mailed it to her, and she gave it to me." I looked at Miki, watching for his reaction.
"Kozue?" he whispered. "What does she have to do with any of this? Didn't they put her through enough?"
"I don't know. But it was sent to HER, not one of us. When I saw it, everything came back to me."
"So?" Juri demanded. "You should have let it lie! For all we know this is one of Akio's schemes…"
"So?" I taunted back. "He managed to put a pretty good hole in our memories already - I say it's damn well time that we got them back!"
Miki leaned back into the plush velvet, apparently still wise enough not to try to separate a brewing catfight.
Juri, though, didn't retaliate. She looked at me angrily, then glanced down thoughtfully at the ring she once again wore on her hand, twisting it around a few times. "Now that I know, I can't go back to what I was. But I'm not grateful to you, Nanami. I was happy in my life." Her expression was wistful and pained.
"Happy? How can you be happy not knowing who you are?" I snapped. "Without your memories you're not who you should be! We are shaped by the sum of our experiences!"
"You've said that before."
"And I'll say it again until you accept it as the truth! I do not lie, not even to myself!"
"We're going to talk to Touga," Juri said. "And you're coming with us."
"I-I…" This hadn't been what I was expecting.
"None of us can beat Akio at his own game; if he was the one who sent the sword - and that's what I think is most likely - then it's damn likely Touga has some inkling why he's trying to pull us back into Ohtori's web. And if it wasn't Akio, then Touga would be my second guess," Miki said firmly.
"I would have said…that girl sent it. Maybe she wanted to let us know she's alive out there, and looking for us."
"Tenjou Utena, the Victor of the Duels," Juri said softly. "No. That's not her style. She would have confronted us directly - she was never one for subtlety. But perhaps Anshi…"
For the second time, my head exploded. I was falling…. Falling…
/It's your fault my brother got hurt! Your fault! I'll never let the likes of you have my brother!/
Continuing the duel after I had lost, not caring about the rules.
/This fight is for real, Tenjou Utena!/
Her standing there, defending the witch. The long pink hair blowing in the wind, as she thoughtlessly won my brother's heart by simply being herself. My jealousy, and my determination to get her out of his life. Both of his lives.
/Nanami... There's no need for you to fight anymore./
"Nanami!!"
Again, a sharp sting to my cheek, and I became aware of my surroundings. This time it had been Miki who had slapped me back to myself. I fleetingly wondered if there was something about the Kaoru twins and slapping me, since Kozue had slapped me once and this was the second time Miki had in less then a day's time.
I stared into his worried blue eyes, eyes that reminded me of a girl with pink hair. A fierce girl who fought for what she believed in. "I'm okay, Miki. It's just that finally hearing Utena's name brought back a lot of memories…"
"You were staring at nothing for five minutes, and nothing we did got your attention. I am sorry for hitting you this time," he said, placing special emphasis on this, "but I really didn't see any other option. Surely this isn't normal - you and I didn't react so badly," he stated, looking at Juri.
Always Miki looked to Juri for answers.
"We're all different," Juri said, shrugging. "Nanami may simply have repressed the memory more firmly then either of us."
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "I don't want Touga involved," I stated stubbornly. "This is something I'm going to do for myself."
"No, Nanami," Juri said firmly, "Touga's already involved. Are you going to contact him, or will it be me?"
I was so tempted to let her do it, but I knew that would be cowardice on my part. "That won't be necessary. I will speak to him tonight."
I will deal with Touga.
I will call my oniisama on something that was a forgotten secret.
/That simply...can't be. That my brother and I...aren't really siblings.../
I will discover the truth.
/It's cruel, not being siblings all of a sudden./
I will find Utena.
I will reclaim my past.
I am coming for you, Tenjou Utena. I need to know who I was, so I can discover who I am. And you are the one who holds the key to that mystery.
END PART THREE
Up Next:
Touga: Sealed Darkness
Notes to Reviewers: Hope you liked, David Paul. Dee-chan, thanks for the great critique. And to those who asked about Utena... well, this is plotted for fifteen chapters. ^_~ And this is about the duelists primarily, not the Victor.
Afterimage
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Shoujo Kakumei Utena - la fillette revolutionnaire" (C) Be-PaPas, Chiho Saito/Shogakukan, Shokaku Iinkai, TV Tokyo. The US version "Revolutionary Girl Utena" is (C) Central Park Media.
AN: Dedicated to Gerald Tarrant, who some would say is my better half.
Credit where credit is due. This monster fic needs a lot of help, and I've been blessed by some wonderful people:
Ekaterina- concept editing
Lyra Stormrider- initial editor
Charles Werness- technical editor
Allyn Yonge- editor
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Part Three: Scales of Mystery
I always wanted to be someone special.
For a while, I sought this through my oniisama...after all, he is perfection in male form. No one else has ever come close to making me doubt that...or so I believed for the longest time.
I lived in a dream world for most of my younger years, possessively jealous of my oniisama's affection. He didn't need any of the hussies who draped their bodies over him; they didn't love him like I did. They didn't know what made him happy. They wouldn't give him what he needed in the long run - only I could do that. Only I knew the real Kiryuu Touga.
Then things changed.
Touga graduated from Ohtori Academy; after two years at the University there, he chose to continue his education at a different school, claiming that Ohtori simply wasn't the right place for him.
"Nanami, I'm sorry, but… Ohtori isn't where I belong anymore."
"But oniisama!" I protested. "Ohtori has one of the best university curriculums in the country! You can't be serious!" I placed my hands on his chest, as though that could stop him from leaving. He simply didn't know how much I needed him to stay. How much my definition of myself depended on him. He simply didn't understand how much my very existence was balanced upon his presence. Without him, I was… ordinary.
He looked down at me, and his eyes held that gentle light that Touga only ever showed me. Many people claimed I was a parasite, feeding off his glory, but that wasn't true. Touga loved me; he needed to know that no matter what, I would always be there for him. The other women in his life would come and go, but I was eternal. With a graceful hand he brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes; his face was determined, yet gentle. He was trying to think of a way to tell me something I didn't want to hear. I knew every nuance of his expressions by heart.
"Nanami, this place is like a cage to me now," he said, raking the hand now through his red hair, red as blood, redder then the reddest rose. "I don't know why that happened, or when my perspective changed, but it has. I must shatter the cage and find something else - something different.. Nanami," he paused, the second hanging eternally between us, "you'll understand someday."
A shuddering sob wracked my body in response to his gentle explanation, and then another. I fell forward into Touga's arms - the arms that had always been there when I needed them; the arms that were soon to be taken away - and cried until it felt like I had shed all the tears I had to shed. My fingers gripped his pristine white uniform tightly, but there was nothing I could do aside from mourn. He held me tightly as I cried; for some reason, that just made things worse.
I tried to delude myself, tried to deny the reality of his leaving until the day of departure by telling myself that he really wouldn't go, that he really wouldn't set foot on the train to Tokyo; yet he did. He waved to me once from his window, and then never looked back.
Without Touga…Life without Touga.
Touga was gone.
There were so many ways I could have put it, but it all boiled down to the same thing: Touga was gone. He had stepped beyond my reality. Even when he came home, I could only catch fleeting glimpses of him.
Still, I learned the hard way that life went on, no matter how I may have detested that fact.
I went into my next class with my usual coterie of admirers. No one was special to me, though. Miki might have been, but the year Juri left, he took a pass as well, transferring into some college of a name I can't remember. He was doing something with mathematics I couldn't even begin to understand, which was a pity. He had been such a wonderful musician - I wondered why he didn't become an actual professional. He had always been lauded as a child prodigy, and it was a tragedy indeed for him to not use and develop his talent.
It made me sad. If I had been able to play even a fraction as well as he, I would have given up all other pursuits. Then again, he was so talented at everything he tried that I couldn't help but be jealous. I wished that I wasn't...ordinary. Couldn't I have someone care for me as Nanami rather than as Touga's little sister? Wasn't there someone who could understand my loneliness, and perhaps soothe it somewhat?
It was tenth grade before I found one of my answers, and it came in startling shape. That year, Kaoru Kozue walked into my life.
I had known about her since we were very young - there were few families as wealthy as ours, and fewer still had children our age. Still, we had never had much to do with each other. She had been wrapped up in her brother, and I in mine. As we aged, she had become more outlandish and promiscuous, as well as one of the few girls in school who didn't want to be a part of my retinue. It wasn't that we disliked each other; we merely had nothing to talk about
I became aware of her slowly. For a few weeks I felt like someone was watching me. I assumed, naturally enough, that it was another male admirer, or perhaps even Tsuwabuki cutting class to be closer to me.
Since Tsuwabuki had taken Miki's place on Student Council (quite an accomplishment for a fifth grader!) he had become too busy to serve as my lackey. We were still close - as close as I let anyone, at least. Every now and then he would make me a lunch, surprise me with a flower, or do something else special, but those times were becoming fewer and further between.
I wouldn't admit it, but I missed him. Part of me hoped it was him who was watching me.
Then there came a day when I was able to shake off Keiko, Yuuko, and Aiko to spend some time by myself in the greenhouse. I was tired of having them praise my every decision without thinking for themselves - their mindless devotion was irritating. I didn't trust them as far as I could throw them. As for the greenhouse, well, it has always been a place that has raised ambivalent feelings in me. I don't know why.
I wandered among the roses, drawn to the yellow ones. They were so pretty, but that wasn't the only reason they appealed to me. Every year on my birthday, my parents would send me a bouquet of two-dozen yellow roses - the only gift I would receive from them.
"You seem uncomfortable here," a voice said, and I spun around, meeting the person who had been shadowing me. "I wonder why you keep coming back?"
My eyes widened as I recognized the girl on sight. "Kozue?" I asked, surprised.
She was perched on an overturned flowerpot, her slender legs stretched out before her, crossed demurely at the ankles. In her left hand she was twisting a white rose that she had apparently plucked. She reminded me of her brother - he was always eerily perceptive at the weirdest moments. "Hello, Nanami," she said, smiling at me. "I've been watching you lately."
"It was you?" I asked, shocked.
Her smile was shy, rather then sly as I had been expecting. "Yes."
"Why?" I demanded. She wasn't the type to want to become one of my followers.
"I'll tell you tonight." She tossed me the rose she had been holding. "I'll meet you tonight at your house."
"And why should I go along with your whim?" I demanded.
Kozue's smile widened slightly. "Because you're curious." She came to her feet with practiced grace and left. I was so shocked that I couldn't think up a decent retort before she left. What shocked me most was the fact that she was right. I was curious.
She hadn't mentioned what time I was to expect her, and that annoyed me as I worked on my homework later that evening. Hour after hour passed, until I looked at the clock to see that it was nearly eleven. I was about ready to call it quits and go to bed when the doorbell rang and my butler showed her in.
Kozue stood silhouetted in the doorway for a second before entering. She was wearing simple clothes that flattered her figure and coloring well - a short lavender skirt paired with a light yellow sweater. On her feet was a pair of three-inch heels that made me wince to see. Usually they wouldn't bother me - I'd wear them myself - but the time of the day made me think of the potential backaches associated with heels. I ignored my random thoughts, focusing on the issue. "Well, Kozue? Are you going to tell me what's up?"
Kozue advanced on me until she could trace my face gingerly with the very tips on her fingers, so lightly that I barely felt her touch. My breathing quickened in surprise as she tugged me closer and rested her head against my shoulder. I smelled the light jasmine fragrance of her hair and wondered why it felt like the other half of my soul was embracing me. Suddenly, it hit me: Kozue was someone who could understand. She was someone as alone as I.
"Kozue..." I whispered, trying to find something to say that wouldn't sound too idiotic. I hate idiots, especially when I'm one myself.
She pressed closer, and before I realized what was happening, I lost my balance. We fell, her arms still locked around me, and plopped onto the couch. She snuggled on top of me like a child seeking reassurance. "Nanami, you know," she whispered, and I felt a warm moisture against my collarbone - the warmth of tears.
And I did know. She didn't have to say anything else. I automatically locked her in an embrace, and we lay there for a while, listening to each other's heartbeats.
"Will it ever get better?" she asked.
"Not until we can live without the regret," I said bitterly. "Sometimes I think it'd be better to never have been his sister then to know this pain," I took a deep breath, and then my voice softened as I continued, "and then I remember him saying my name, and I curse myself for ever regretting a moment."
"At least Miki still lives with me," Kozue said. She spoke against my chest, and I half-felt the vibration of her words throughout my torso.
"Yes, at least you still have that," I replied, managing not to sound too jealous. "But I bet it's worse in a way."
"It is," she said. "He's not mine anymore; I can't understand what he is.
"When I was little, Miki and I did everything together. He's always been shy, so I've protected him his entire life. Usually with twins there's a dominant one, and most people automatically assumed that I was it. I would take the lead, and he would follow. Or so it seemed.
"I've always been in Miki's shadow. I don't mind, honestly. I wouldn't know what to with talent, anyway. He can do anything - he's an eidetic, a savant. He's not just a genius, Nanami; he's so intelligent that he's already been offered dozens of jobs. College is just a formality - I think he's doing it because that's what is expected.
"I held him back. Miki wouldn't leave me. He waited as long as he could, stayed at Ohtori for me, but he finally ran out of classes. My father finally forced him to leave last year - he said that Ohtori didn't offer the specialized education Miki was entitled to. He was right, of course."
She sniffled slightly, and I petted her hair reassuringly. "Miki could have gone anywhere, done anything - he was seriously considering Julliard, but he didn't go. He stayed here to be near me - he doesn't need me anymore, Nanami, but he knows I need him."
She lay on top of me for another moment before I was able to shift her slightly so that she wasn't weighing me down anymore. She allowed it, but maintained a loose grip as she snuggled close to my side. I petted her hair a few times, and suddenly realized that it had been a long day, and that I was tired. Almost unconsciously, my eyelids drifted shut, and I was lulled to sleep by the even rhythm of Kozue's breathing.
It was the sweetest night's sleep I ever remember having.
After that, Kozue was the only one I could find comfort in. We weren't lovers; no, physical intimacy paled beside what we had. What we had was a link between souls, a knowledge that someone the other understood what it was like to be in the shadow of a brother who was so much more then she or I could ever hope to be.
She would come to my house sometimes and do nothing but cry. Miki wasn't cruel to her; Miki was incapable of that. No, she was cruel to herself, wallowing in her self-perceived inadequacy. Other times she would arrive to drag me out and party all night. Though I wondered where she had procured the fake ID, I didn't ask. Sometimes it was best to just accept. I learned quickly not to condemn her, not even for her most outrageous exploits, for she would only become more outlandish and take chances that were downright dangerous. As I remember it, it amazes me how lucky we were.
It may sound like she was a parasite, latching onto me, but she wasn't. I, in return for my patience, received something just as valuable. She gave her friendship to me, and it was a precious gift. I had someone to speak to freely, someone who understood how I could love my brother almost to the point of obsession…someone who could care for me as an individual, yet still understand the ties that bound me so tightly Touga.
I would have done anything for her, and she for me. She made me laugh at her wildness, and reminded me that life was a game, one not to be taken too seriously all the time. We would do everything together, and sometimes it seemed like she lived over at my house - I didn't get too close to hers, though, for I understood that it was still sacred. Miki lived there, sometimes, though I had never once run across him. Other times he would be away for days or even weeks at a time, though Kozue would never tell me why.
So it wasn't a big surprise when Kozue called me over to her house one night to weeks before we were due to graduate. What I did find shocking, however, was that she told me that it was "urgent." Anyone who knew Kozue knew that she wouldn't consider Armageddon itself urgent, so, needless to say, I was concerned.
I walked into her house without waiting to be let in. I found her in the living room and took a seat across from her, studying her pale face with concern.
"Kozue?" I asked. "Did something happen?"
She was nibbling on her lip nervously and her eyes looked haggard. "Last week, I received a package in the mail. I didn't think anything of it - after all, I am graduating, so I assumed it was some kind of gift."
"Naturally enough. What was it? A spiteful little trinket from an old love?" God knew she certainly had enough of them, and not all of them had parted with her on the best of terms. Some would relish the chance to upset her.
"I only wish." She shivered, even though the room felt almost tropical - the heat was cranked up so high that beads of sweat were forming on my brow. "It was something much worse."
She bent down and slid something I hadn't noticed before from under the couch. It was a long, slender box made of a deep brown wood, a wood that almost had a tint of red to it. Her hands trembled as she placed it on the table between us. "It doesn't look like a bomb," I replied lightly, trying to soften the mood.
"I guess you could call it one," she said softly. "It certainly blew my life to hell." She looked at me, her eyes heavily shadowed from lack of sleep.
"Well, what IS it?" I demanded.
"Heaven and Hell," she replied. "Salvation forged through damnation."
I scowled at her, not in the mood for word games. Without waiting for permission, I reached over to open the box. She whimpered, but made no move to stop me. As soon as I lifted the lid, my mind exploded.
A sword, nestled in a pile of yellow roses.
Ambition...desire for escape from terrible knowledge.
/You didn't seem like anything but a kind older brother./
/That was just an act. My parents told me: "Think of her as your sister and treat her well." If not for that, there's no way I'd hang around her. That commonplace, boring woman.../
Siblings entwined in each other arms, incestuous love, and my horrified reaction at the sight.
/Are you and Touga-sama maybe not related by blood...?/
My lackey, my friend, coming closer to me, too close, gazing at me with eyes that were shadowed with something that was far beyond either of us, a marionette.
/W- Wait! That's too close, Tsuwabuki! Tsu- Tsuwabuki?/
Pain. Terrible, dreadful pain. Physical, emotional...being spun around by forces I didn't even begin to understand.
With a trembling hand, I picked the blade up. I had never held this before, and the blade felt awkward, not right, in my hands. I knew it on sight, though. The Sword of Dios...the sword that could grant the power to incite revolution, the power to change everything.
The power to destroy a life…or save it.
"Nanami? Nanami?" A voice spoke, seeming to come from a great distance. "Nanami!" A sharp sting across my face, and then I was aware of my surroundings.
Kozue knelt before me, her hand still raised, prepared to deliver another slap should it prove necessary. Her eyes were locked on me, and I was reminded of her twin for a second. Her coloring had a slightly lavender edge to it, but otherwise it could have been Miki kneeling before me, worried about a friend.
"Dios…" I whispered, dropping the sword like it was a snake.
/I want to surpass everything./
It /was/ a snake, the very snake that had tempted Eve with the forbidden fruit.
"I'm so sorry…I shouldn't have…" Kozue said. "This is my problem. But when I saw it, I thought you might know what to do - I can't drag Miki into this - he'd never forgive me…"
I smiled at her. "You did the right thing. I don't know who sent this to you, but they were wrong to. You barely had anything to do with it."
"Do with what, exactly?" she asked. "I can't remember…something about seventh grade. And Miki…and the other members of the Student Council. You took Touga's place for a while, didn't you?"
/It's all right, Oniisama. I'll look after the Student Council./
/From now on, I will act as my brother's proxy./
"Yes. But Miki will need to know."
Her eyes were haunted. "I can't - I betrayed him somehow."
I took her hand and squeezed it gently. "It will be alright, Kozue. I promise to do my best - I will treat him as though he were my own brother."
She understood exactly what I meant by that promise. Only she could have understood what a firm vow that was. "Nanami..." Her eyes were full of reluctant relief. She hated putting this burden on me, but was relieved it wasn't hers to bear anymore.
I smiled at her gently. "Let me take this. I'll deal with it," I promised.
She squeezed my hand back in thanks, a grateful expression on her face.
I had my chauffeur drive me home. All during the ride home, my mind was working automatically, starting to form plans.
What could I do with it? The damn sword? Where was I to start?
Touga.
I could call oniisama.
But...I didn't want to get him involved. And by that token, Saionji would be out as well - he and oniisama were too close. This was something I would do for myself, something to prove to myself that I didn't need him - that I could function without him.
Juri? A possibility. Juri had always been clever, but she didn't like me. She would never agree to see me...the only one of the Student Council she had liked was Miki. We had all liked him.
I blinked as it came to me. If I hooked Miki, then Juri would follow...she wouldn't be able to see him involved in Ohtori's past without trying to protect him. And it wouldn't be breaking my promise to Kozue, either; she would want Miki to know the truth, as I would tell oniisama once it was all done.
So how to get Miki to talk to me? He must have been at least subconsciously - if not actively - avoiding me ever since leaving. So that meant...I'd need an excuse.
My graduation party. He owed me a favor for the time I'd bailed Kozue out of jail (a rather interesting story; a misunderstanding, really), so he could play at my party. And then I'd give him the Sword of Dios, and see what resulted.
As soon as I arrived home, I went upstairs to the room that contained my mementos. I had almost forgotten about it, but there was a certain ring that I'd carefully put away with Touga's senior yearbook, a ring that I now intended to reclaim.
/Nanami, give me your left hand./
/Oniisama.../
I thought my hands had grown, along with the rest of me, but the ring still fit on my left hand perfectly. I stared at it, amazed at how the seal could be so simple and so intricate at the same time.
/Have you forgotten, Nanami? The Rose Signet is the only piece of authentication that allows you to fight Duels here at the Academy. Now show me your power, as a chosen one of the "Ends of the World."/
Two weeks of anxious preparation and weird dreams passed until the day of the party. I dreamt of a girl, a girl I hated and envied, kittens and yellows roses. I dreamt of Tsuwabuki and Keiko, oniisama and Saionji, Miki and Juri. I dreamt of a girl with purple hair from my seventh grade year, and our Chairman Ohtori Akio.
The party went almost as well as I could have expected. I hadn't expected Miki to lose his temper and hit me - he had never been the violent type - but it happened.
I called Kozue's house after the party to speak to Miki. She was rather surprised, but said Miki had spent the night at Juri's, as he often did.
So I called Juri. After one of our infamous catfights, I made plans to see her at seven that day for dinner. Then I went to bed.
The next day was one of the slowest I can remember - I kept checking the clock every fifteen minutes, wishing I had some way to make time go faster. The doorbell finally rang at almost eight that evening. I muttered as I went to get it. I should have let the butler get it, as had been my original intention, but I was too irritated to bother. As I swung it open I saw Juri and Miki standing there, and I could tell from the collected look on Juri's face that she had been late on purpose.
"You're late," I said.
Juri's eyes were cold. "So? I don't have to let you order me around." She stepped in, carrying herself like a queen. If I had believed in reincarnation, I would have wagered money that Juri had once been Cleopatra herself. Miki followed behind her, slightly subservient. His blue eyes flashed warningly at me, and I didn't snap the quick retort that was on my tongue. If Miki was in a bad mood - and I couldn't blame him for it - there would be no intermediary between Juri and myself. And Juri and I had never been the best of friends.
"Dinner is waiting to be served," I said.
"We ate before coming," Juri replied, apparently deciding to speak for Miki as well as herself.
"I invited you for dinner," I said firmly. I wasn't giving ground to her this early in the game. "If you already ate, you can watch me eat while we have a civil conversation. You've not spoken to me in a while, you declined my invitation to my graduation party, and you've reacted in a hostile manner to every one of my overtures of friendship - so you're damn well going to behave like the civilized person I know you are, Arisugawa Juri!"
She blinked at me, then nodded graciously. "Very well. We will eat first."
I led them to dining room, and Miki, ever the gentleman, pulled out our seats for both of us and carefully made sure we were comfortable before taking his own place. His startling blue eyes watched me as I rang for the servants to bring the first course.
Conversation was stilted. I tried to draw them both into discussion about themselves, but their one-word answers discouraged me from pressing. I didn't bring up the Student Council, and both of them seemed disinclined to as well, picking at their food.
We were on the cheese course when Juri apparently decided she had had enough. "Nanami, where did you get the Sword of Dios?" Her voice contained the same frightening intensity that had once caused one of her weaker-willed teachers to quit his job in terror.
I wasn't weak, though. I wouldn't be cowed by her - I was strong. "We'll discuss this after dinner," I told her firmly.
She glared at me, but finished quickly. Juri's glower followed my movements as I went to the sideboard after finishing my own meal. "Would you like a drink, Juri-sempai? Perhaps a brandy?"
"No. What I want is for you to stop avoiding the question and give me a straight answer."
"Miki, a strawberry daiquiri, right?" I asked breezily, pretending not to hear her.
"Nanami..." he said softly, his voice firm.
I was pushing, and I knew it. "Wait for a second," I ordered, preparing three drinks - brandy for Juri, a strawberry daiquiri for Miki, and a red wine for myself. As the blender crushed the ice, I hummed quietly, ignoring their eyes on me. The drinks were ready all too soon, and I knew I had put the conversation off as long as possible.
I placed the drinks on a tray and carried it over, setting it down on the coffee table after distributing beverages. "I think I remember what you guys liked - if I made a mistake, let me know."
"Nanami!" Juri snapped. "We've had nothing but evasions from you all evening! Now you're going to give me some straight answers, or I will personally pull out all your hair, one strand at a time."
I didn't doubt that she was quite capable of what she was threatening. Juri had never been one for idle threats. "Fine."
"To start with, where in the world did you get the Sword of Dios?" she demanded.
"I got it from Kozue - someone mailed it to her, and she gave it to me." I looked at Miki, watching for his reaction.
"Kozue?" he whispered. "What does she have to do with any of this? Didn't they put her through enough?"
"I don't know. But it was sent to HER, not one of us. When I saw it, everything came back to me."
"So?" Juri demanded. "You should have let it lie! For all we know this is one of Akio's schemes…"
"So?" I taunted back. "He managed to put a pretty good hole in our memories already - I say it's damn well time that we got them back!"
Miki leaned back into the plush velvet, apparently still wise enough not to try to separate a brewing catfight.
Juri, though, didn't retaliate. She looked at me angrily, then glanced down thoughtfully at the ring she once again wore on her hand, twisting it around a few times. "Now that I know, I can't go back to what I was. But I'm not grateful to you, Nanami. I was happy in my life." Her expression was wistful and pained.
"Happy? How can you be happy not knowing who you are?" I snapped. "Without your memories you're not who you should be! We are shaped by the sum of our experiences!"
"You've said that before."
"And I'll say it again until you accept it as the truth! I do not lie, not even to myself!"
"We're going to talk to Touga," Juri said. "And you're coming with us."
"I-I…" This hadn't been what I was expecting.
"None of us can beat Akio at his own game; if he was the one who sent the sword - and that's what I think is most likely - then it's damn likely Touga has some inkling why he's trying to pull us back into Ohtori's web. And if it wasn't Akio, then Touga would be my second guess," Miki said firmly.
"I would have said…that girl sent it. Maybe she wanted to let us know she's alive out there, and looking for us."
"Tenjou Utena, the Victor of the Duels," Juri said softly. "No. That's not her style. She would have confronted us directly - she was never one for subtlety. But perhaps Anshi…"
For the second time, my head exploded. I was falling…. Falling…
/It's your fault my brother got hurt! Your fault! I'll never let the likes of you have my brother!/
Continuing the duel after I had lost, not caring about the rules.
/This fight is for real, Tenjou Utena!/
Her standing there, defending the witch. The long pink hair blowing in the wind, as she thoughtlessly won my brother's heart by simply being herself. My jealousy, and my determination to get her out of his life. Both of his lives.
/Nanami... There's no need for you to fight anymore./
"Nanami!!"
Again, a sharp sting to my cheek, and I became aware of my surroundings. This time it had been Miki who had slapped me back to myself. I fleetingly wondered if there was something about the Kaoru twins and slapping me, since Kozue had slapped me once and this was the second time Miki had in less then a day's time.
I stared into his worried blue eyes, eyes that reminded me of a girl with pink hair. A fierce girl who fought for what she believed in. "I'm okay, Miki. It's just that finally hearing Utena's name brought back a lot of memories…"
"You were staring at nothing for five minutes, and nothing we did got your attention. I am sorry for hitting you this time," he said, placing special emphasis on this, "but I really didn't see any other option. Surely this isn't normal - you and I didn't react so badly," he stated, looking at Juri.
Always Miki looked to Juri for answers.
"We're all different," Juri said, shrugging. "Nanami may simply have repressed the memory more firmly then either of us."
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. "I don't want Touga involved," I stated stubbornly. "This is something I'm going to do for myself."
"No, Nanami," Juri said firmly, "Touga's already involved. Are you going to contact him, or will it be me?"
I was so tempted to let her do it, but I knew that would be cowardice on my part. "That won't be necessary. I will speak to him tonight."
I will deal with Touga.
I will call my oniisama on something that was a forgotten secret.
/That simply...can't be. That my brother and I...aren't really siblings.../
I will discover the truth.
/It's cruel, not being siblings all of a sudden./
I will find Utena.
I will reclaim my past.
I am coming for you, Tenjou Utena. I need to know who I was, so I can discover who I am. And you are the one who holds the key to that mystery.
END PART THREE
Up Next:
Touga: Sealed Darkness
Notes to Reviewers: Hope you liked, David Paul. Dee-chan, thanks for the great critique. And to those who asked about Utena... well, this is plotted for fifteen chapters. ^_~ And this is about the duelists primarily, not the Victor.