1.00pm

Martin walked back into the bullpen in the office, and sank into a

chair.

"Hey." said Vivian. "She alright now?"

Martin nodded. "She took the pills, they seemed to make her pretty

tired so she went to bed."

"So I talked to Van Doren." said Jack coming back into the office. "She said that she knew about all of it, it's all in her personal file. She said Samantha begged her not to say anything unless she really had to. Van Doren said she kept it secret because she felt sorry for Sam, and felt that it wasn't her story to tell."

"Well it's probably better that Sam told us in the end." said Danny.

Jack sighed, "Van Doren's going to want Sam's report of what happened soon. Do you think she's ready to do that?"

Martin looked at Jack worriedly, "I don't think she's ready yet. She's

still pretty messed up."

"But maybe finally talking about what happened would help her get over it." contradicted Danny.

"I think she still needs time before she's ready to talk about it, but

maybe Danny's right, talking might be just the way to help her." said Vivian.

"Jack will she have to testify in a trial against him? Because I don't

think she would be able to face him." said Martin.

Jack sighed again. "I hope not. I'm trying to find away round it.

That's why we need the report soon."

"God, it's just one thing after another isn't it?" said Vivian.

Samantha had been home for about 6 days, not doing much, getting plenty of rest, reading, watching TV and getting visits from the other members of the team. Except for Jack. He hadn't visited her since she came back to the apartment, and she hadn't really spoken to him much then. She didn't really mind that he hadn't come, things were awkward between them on a normal day. So when he came on the sixth day, she was quite surprised.

12.00pm

"Hey Sam, it's Jack." he said when she had answered the buzzer. "Can I come up?"

She looked shocked for a moment before pressing the buzzer to let him in. "Ok." she said.

"Hey. I'm sorry I haven't been to see you much."

"Don't you mean at all?" said Samantha angrily. Jack looked hurt, then he sighed.

"It's just complicated Sam." he said.

Samantha shrugged and went to sit back down, Jack following her to the lounge, shutting the door behind him and sitting on one of the other chairs, facing Samantha.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine." she said simply, not wanting to get into a long

conversation with him.

"Really?" asked Jack suspiciously.

Samantha sighed, he had always been able to see through her. "Ok so I'm not completely fine, but I'm better than I was a few days ago."

"Why didn't you tell anyone about your past?" asked Jack bluntly.

"It didn't say anywhere that I had to Jack. Didn't you notice any of

the scars? Didn't you figure any of it out?" she laughed bitterly.

Jack had no reply, now that he thought about it he had noticed them but he had just forgot about them, not wanting to know.

"Look what did you come here for Jack?" asked Samantha impatiently.

"Umm I was wondering if you could write a report of what happened, you know." said Jack hesitantly. "I didn't know if you would want to come to the office and do it, so I thought I'd come and tell you."

"You didn't have to come all the way here to tell me that. You could

have used the phone."

"It's easier to talk in person Sam."

"Phone works just as well." snapped Samantha, then looked at him

apologetically. "Sorry. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep."

"It's fine. So you're ok with doing the report?" said Jack.

Samantha hesitated. Was she ready? Could she relive all that again? She already did in her dreams. But if she didn't she would have it hanging over her head and she couldn't keep putting it off. She didn't want the others thinking that she couldn't cope either.

"Sam?" asked Jack.

"Yeah I'll do it." she said.

"Thanks Sam." said Jack gratefully. "Ummm there's something else."

Samantha looked at him, predicting what it was going to be.

"I've gone back to Maria."

There you go, he had finally got the guts to tell her.

"Yeah I know."

"How?" asked Jack surprised.

"Women's intuition. I think it's a good thing Jack."

"You do?" he said.

"Yeah, the kids will have their Dad properly, and you and Maria will be able to work everything out."

"Thanks for understanding Sam. Look, I should get back to the office. I will visit properly soon."

"Ok, bye." said Samantha smiling.

Jack stood and let himself out.

Samantha sighed and limped over to her computer, turning it on she just stared at the blank screen. Her fingers poised over the keyboard to type, she stopped not knowing how to start. How do you write about something like that? She thought to herself. She got up leaving the computer on, and walked back to sit in the lounge. She couldn't do this, not yet anyway.

The phone rang startling her. She got up and went into the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?" she said, sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey sweetie." said her mom.

"Hey mom. How is everything?" asked Sam.

"It's ok. John's mom is doing ok. How are you?" asked Nicole.

"I'm alright. Just bored, being stuck in the apartment."

"How's the pain and everything? Is everything healing ok?"

"Yeah its fine. They gave me some meds for the pain, as long as I take them its fine." said Samantha. "You don't need to worry so much."

"It's my job." said Nicole. "When are you going back to work?"

"I'm not really sure, don't think it will be longer than 2 weeks."

"Be careful ok?"

"Mom."

"Promise?"

"I will be extremely careful I promise." said Samantha smiling.

"So, how's things with you and Martin?" asked Nicole casually.

"Nothings happening. He's a good friend." said Samantha.

"But you wouldn't mind if something did happen?" asked Nicole.

"No, but he's still edgy around me cuz of what happened."

Nicole sighed, "You still having the dreams?" she asked.

"Yeah." said Samantha.

"A lot?" asked Nicole anxiously.

"Every night." replied Samantha.

"Samantha, you really should see some one, like a counsellor."

"I will." said Samantha. "When I get back to work."

"Sorry John's calling. I'll ring again soon."

"Ok bye mom."

"Promise about seeing a counsellor?"

"Yes mom I promise."

"Ok, bye love you."

"Love you too mom. Bye." said Samantha hanging up the phone.

Just after she hung up, the phone rang again before she had a chance to put it down.

"Hello?"

"Agent Spade?" came an unfamiliar voice.

"Yes." said Samantha curiously.

"It's Doctor Wilkins."

"Oh of course. What can I do for you?" said Samantha.

"Umm this is sort of hard to say, but we have to recommend this to

anyone who was raped. I was wondering if you had thought about taking a pregnancy test?"

Samantha stood dumbstruck, the thought hadn't occurred to her at all.

"Agent Spade? I'm sorry to have to say this, but its protocol. Just to

make sure."

"Umm was there anything to suggest that I need one?" asked Samantha shakily.

"Oh no." the doctor assured her. "It's just standard procedure."

"Ok ummm thanks for telling me." she hung up the phone still in shock.

She hadn't thought about the possibility at all, tears sprang to her

eyes. She prayed that she wasn't. Oh well there was only one way to find out.

She grabbed her purse and keys deciding to go to the drugstore around the corner.

6.30pm

"Hey its Martin. Can I come up?" he asked.

"Yeah of course." said Samantha buzzing him in.

"I brought Chinese." he said once he was in the apartment.

"Thanks." said Samantha.

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking at her face. She looked pale and worn down.

"Yeah I'm fine." said Samantha. "You want to eat?"

"You stay here. I'll get it ready." said Martin.

Martin carried the bag of takeout into the kitchen ad got out plates,

and everything. He unwrapped the food and went to the bin to put the rubbish in. What he saw made him stop. It was a box from one of the home pregnancy tests. His heart stopped for a moment. Had Samantha got pregnant from Riley? He wondered. Gathering his courage he decided to ask her.

"It's ready." he said.

"Thanks." said Samantha.

"Umm why is there a pregnancy test in your trash?" asked Martin.

Samantha looked at him surprised, she had forgotten it was in there.

"Well the doctor rang earlier and said that they had to suggest it to

people who had been...you know."

Martin swallowed nervously, he couldn't imagine what Samantha would be feeling if she found she was pregnant to the man who caused her so much pain.

"So I went to the drugstore to buy one just to see. It was negative."

she said.

Martin looked up relieved. "Really? That's great Samantha." he said

giving her a hug, and was pleasantly surprised when she didn't tense up.

"I know. I couldn't imagine being pregnant, not now anyway and not to him."

Of course she was relieved that she hadn't got pregnant, especially at this time in her life, but she did want to one day. She still thought about the baby she lost when she was 19. She was relieved that she didn't get pregnant, especially through rape. She always imagined how different everything would be if she hadn't lost her first baby.

She just smiled and let Martin hug her, feeling that finally everything was falling into place and she could start to move on.