For the rest of the weekend I won't be able to use my computer because I will be having a sort of last minute holiday before school reopens, and my exams start on the 28th of June and end only on the 7th of July and therefore I might not be online any more for a very long time after today. Therefore I will try to be writing more and posting up my stuff. I also have a new fanfic (for Love Actually) that I will put up. If you like Love Actually, it would be nice if you would read it! Thanks!

Chapter 14 : The Confrontation

A week later…

Lothíriel put her last dress into the trunk. There. Everything was packed. She would be ready to leave tomorrow. She sat down on her bed, closing her eyes to the cold wind that came in through the window. Home. Somehow the thought brought no happiness either. There would be questions, people would wonder what had happened. And she just didn't feel like talking to anyone, not yet. She just wanted some peace and quiet until she could forget about Éomer, forget that she had ever met him, forget that she had ever seen his face.

There was a knock on her door, and Lothíriel dragged herself over to answer it.

Éomer stood outside, and he smiled when she opened the door. Despite her current mood, just seeing him smile filled her heart with warmth, and she felt like throwing her arms around him just while he was standing there (without Freda).

"I thought you would be in your room. Since you're leaving tomorrow… I was just wondering if you would like to go riding. Ah… not now, though, I have a meeting with the captains, but in three hours, perhaps? I could meet you at the city gates after I'm done with the meeting and changed into something more suitable for riding and everything."

Looking at Éomer's face, Lothíriel simply could not refuse.

Éomer left the meeting a little relieved. Everything had been dealt with, everything was under control, and so far nothing was going wrong. Everyone was happy with the arrangements. And now, done with the day's work, he could finally relax properly. He hummed a cheerful tune as he made his way to the stables.

"My lord Éomer!"

He turned to see Freda coming towards him, smiling. "Hello," he said, grinning.

"You are in high spirits, my lord," Freda remarked, falling into step with him.

"Ah, yes, that I am. I've just finished with my kingly duties for today, and I'm just about to go riding with Lothíriel. It's her last day in Rohan, after all. She'll be returning to Dol Amroth tomorrow morning."

"Travelling during the winter?" Freda frowned. "Is that wise?"

Éomer shrugged. "I couldn't dissuade her. She's stubborn as a mule when she makes up her mind about something. Oh well, she will be well taken care of."

Freda was silent for awhile, then smiled and said, "She has been kind to me since we met. I would like to say goodbye to her. Could I join you, please?"

Éomer thought for a moment. Riding was something that Lothíriel and he always did together, just the two of them, and it had become something special. But Freda was a lovely woman as well, and she just wanted to say goodbye, after all. It wasn't as if he was betraying anything, was he? "I don't see what's wrong if you join us. All right then," he agreed.

Lothíriel stood by the city gates, waiting. She smiled when she saw Éomer coming into sight, but her smile faded away when she realised that he was not alone. She stood motionless as the two approached her.

"Good afternoon, my lady Lothíriel," Freda said, bowing.

"I met Freda on the way to the stables, and she said that she wanted to come along, just to say goodbye to you, and join us for the ride. I thought that would be all right."

"It's all right," Lothíriel echoed. What else can I say? You've already asked the woman. "Let's go, shall we?" She mounted, and was off, not bothering to wait for Éomer, and especially not Freda.

A good rider, Éomer caught up soon enough, but Freda was not as skilled, and they eventually had to slow down to wait for her. "You are a skilled rider, my lady," Freda said breathlessly when she caught up.

"Thank you," Lothíriel replied curtly.

"I wish you didn't have to go home tomorrow," Éomer remarked. "It would have been lovely to have you stay three months like you were planning to."

It would, would it? Lothíriel thought sarcastically. But instead she laughed and said, "Well, you already have perfect company in Rohan. Perhaps it would be good for me to return to Dol Amroth and find myself a companion as desirable as Freda."

"You flatter me, my lady."

"Well, so many people do, I thought I would just join in the fun."

The rest of the ride went by quickly, with Lothíriel and Éomer speaking as they always did, or Lothíriel trying to be as mean as she possibly could to Freda. At times she would feel guilty, for being so horrible to such a perfectly polite creature, but the moment Éomer and Freda began talking, she would get jealous and angry all over again.

She rode ahead in silence all the way back to Edoras, fuming, as Éomer and Freda talked, and stormed up the steps to the hall. She wheeled around, waiting for Éomer to come up the steps. She had a feeling that he was in for something that had never happened to another person before.

Freda was saying something to him, and he was laughing. Their voices were carried away by the wind, and strain as she could, Lothíriel could not hear what they were saying. Then Freda reached out and touched his arm, and before Lothíriel could even believe it, she shyly gave him a kiss on his cheek before slipping away, on her way home.

By the time Éomer reached the top step, Lothíriel expected that she was beginning to look like Mount Doom when the Ring was cast into the fire. Had it been her imagination, or had Freda given her a glance before kissing Éomer?

He saw her face, and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"What was that?"

"What? The kiss?" Éomer shrugged. "I don't know; she never did that before."

The fact that he took it so lightly made her even angrier, although she hadn't been able to believe that it was possible. Without a word, she stormed into the hall, slamming the doors behind her with a strength she didn't realise she had. The bang was still echoing in the hall when Éomer opened the doors again and entered after her. He grabbed her arm and spun her around. "What was that about?" he demanded.

That's it. Lothíriel exploded. "Why on earth had you asked her to come riding with us? I thought it was something special that the two of us did!"

"I didn't think it would matter so much… she just wanted to say goodbye, Lothíriel."

"Well, she could have said it tomorrow, like everyone else!"

"Listen to me, Lothíriel…"

"No! You listen to me!" Lothíriel yelled. She stopped, breathing heavily, a lump forming in her throat. "I hate her," she finally choked out.

"Lothíriel…"

She cut him off. "I'm not finished. I hate her, I hate her because she's so lovely, because she's so matured and polite and sweet and caring and friendly and ladylike. I hate her because she's everything I'm not. And I especially hate her because you like her so much."

Éomer's eyes widened. "Lothíriel, what are you saying…?"

Tears stung her eyes as she looked at him pleadingly. "Have you never thought that maybe… maybe I could make you as happy as Freda does?" She shook her head. "I know you miss Éowyn, but you can't use me as a replacement for your sister, no matter how similar we are. The thing is, I'm just not Éowyn, and there's nothing you can do about it. And I don't want to be your sister. I don't… I can't… I love you too much."

She turned and fled before he could say another word, leaving him standing there, stunned and motionless.

She paced about her room restlessly, almost blinded by her tears. She wiped them away from time to time, but they kept coming, and it seemed as if they would never stop. She looked around her, looked at the four walls. I can't stay here, she thought. She thought of Dol Amroth, of the sea, but for once it brought no comfort. I can't go home, either. I just want to be alone.

Impulsively, she made up her mind, and choked back the rest of her tears. Then she washed her face and dried it, taking deep breaths to calm down. Standing tall, she left her room and went to the kitchens.

The cooks were all busy preparing dinner, but the head cook came over and dropped a little curtsey to Lothíriel when she entered. "How may I help you, my lady?"

"Hello, Alanna. I was just wondering if it wouldn't be too much trouble if you could pack a simple meal for me. I'm going riding with Isindil instead of dinner this evening, and I was hoping you could let me have some food? We'll probably have a picnic."

Alanna raised an eyebrow. "A picnic in winter, my lady? Would you not think that a bowl of hot stew eaten indoors would be a much better choice?"

Lothíriel forced a laugh. "Perhaps, but having a picnic in winter is so much more an adventure! So could you allow me to take some food, please?"

Alanna bowed. "Of course, my lady! You may help yourself to whatever you want, there is no lack in the kitchens."

"I know. You are a wonderful head cook, Alanna."

The woman beamed, positively preening at the compliment. Lothíriel returned her smile, then accepted the basket a kitchen girl passed to her, and began to fill the basket with bread and cheese and other types of dried food. Good, these will last for awhile, she thought to herself.

When she had what she thought was enough, she nodded to Alanna and left the kitchen with many thanks. Once out of the kitchen, though, she hurried on her way back to her room, taking the back route that Éomer had shown her once, hoping that she would not bang into anyone. Luckily, she did not see anyone.

She locked the door of her room and opened her trunk. She changed into another riding dress, and picked up the leather bag she had left on the chair. Wrapping the food up in a blanket so that it would be easier to carry, she managed to fit it into the bag. Next went in another blanket, and some flint she always carried around with her. Her water flask she tied to the bag. At the belt of her riding dress she slipped the dagger Elphir had given to her when she was sixteen, for protection. Then she sat down on the bed. All there was left to do was wait.

Dinnertime came by fast enough. She heard Isindil leaving his room, and waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps. Then she picked up her things, and opened the door. There was no one in the hallway. Good. She slipped out of her room, and hurried out through the back door once more. Once outside, she began to run, and did not stop till she reached the stables.

"Come, Elenion, we're going for an adventure," she whispered to her stallion.

She met a couple of guards while leading her stallion out, but they simply bowed and smiled; it was known that the Lady Lothíriel loved riding, and was eccentric, enjoying rides in the dark and cold. She smiled back and walked on, her head held high, not betraying anything.

The guards standing at the gates bowed. "Going out riding alone, my lady?" one asked.

"Yes, I thought that it would be a nice thing to do on my last night here. Something to remember," she said with a smile. "I even brought some food along with me. If anyone asks, just tell them that I've gone riding, and will be back later."

"Of course, my lady, but we'll be changing shifts in awhile."

"Oh. That's all right, then. I don't think anything will happen to me, anyway. Thank you." She nodded to them, mounted, and rode out of the gates for the second time that day.

The full moon was not yet at its peak, but it provided enough illumination for Lothíriel to look around. Where to go? Then she remembered Éomer pointing out the way to the Misty Mountains. I've never seen the mountains. Why not? She urged Elenion on, and they went flying over the lands.