Author's Notes: It has been brought to my attention (by the voices in my head) that I haven't given Remus a big enough part, not to mention he hasn't transformed once during my story. I feel so guilty! WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Well moving on, if I had ownership of JKR's characters and junk Sirius would still be alive along w/ James. But, alas, I don't own anything, except my gorgeous little fic. Hehehehe bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! And from a special request of my annoying neighbor.

And now, for something completely different...

(BTW: I don't own that line; it's from Monty Python and the Flying Circus.)

"Ow! Don't hit me!" your beloved author shouts while typing.

"I'm not annoying! I'm the wonderful, Mary!"

"I don't want you in my bloody story! You're going destroy the plot line single-handedly! You'll make my characters out of character!!!" I shout back as a swat team of lawyers start breaking down my door. "I mean JK Rowling's characters! I didn't mean it! Please don't hurt me!!!!"

"I want to be in the story! I want to punch someone and have them go flying across the room and crash into a wall and crack it!!!!"

"You're insane!"

"THAAAAANK YOOOOOU!!!"

"I hate you!"

"Ooooo gangsta!"

"Go Tom Welling!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! He's a woman!"

"He's less of a woman than Orlando Bloom!" I scream defiantly while I hurriedly type this, and the swat team of lawyers enters the room, guns ablaze.

"SURRENDER NOW!!!" the leader of the swat team shouts while sporting a Bush/Cheney pin of evil. (republicans, please don't kill me)

"I'll never surrender!!!!!!!!! I must write this fanfic for my adoring fans!!!"

"PUT ME IN THE STORY!!!!"

"YOU DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER!" the swat team reminds me as they all pull out a contract, a laminated contract.

"FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I sigh/shout. "I admit it; I don't own Harry Potter, and, Mary, I will put you in this chapter. It'll be a special guest appearance. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! And you," I point to the evil lawyers, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU BLOODY GITS!!!!"

Chapter 14

"Remus, can I talk to you," a voice trembled from behind him.

"Sure, what is it?" Remus replied, his voice full of concern. It was a little after 9 o'clock pm, and they were standing in an empty corridor, their designated meeting spot.

"It's about us," came the reply of a skinny blonde girl, wringing her hands together nervously. Remus didn't like where the conversation was going. "Iwanbreaup," she spurted out, incoherently.

"Huh?" Remus asked not sure if he wanted her to clarify what she had just told him.

"We need to break up; I've met someone," Mary told him with genuine sympathy.

"B—bu—who?" Remus stammered as he felt his heart break in half and shatter like a thin, worthless piece of glass. (Mary's thoughts on what I should write "then he started singing a rendition of "I Will Survive", except that this time, it went. "I Won't Survive". Mary chimed in and they ran down the hall like happy but psycho lunatics, singing.")

"His name's James," she sighed dreamily, and Remus's eyes bugged out of his face.

"WHAT?!" he yelled, forgetting his sadness for a moment.

"Not Potter!" she rolled her eyes. "He goes to Beauxbatons; he's a drummer. I met him at a the Chudley Cannons Quidditch Match—"

"I don't need a full report on how you to fell in love, ok!" Remus turned away so that he could hide his teary-eyed face. "I—I have to go. Bye." Remus said, dismally.

"That's harsh, mate." James said sensitively. James, Sirius, and Remus were sitting in front of the fire in the common room. "I can't believe that she just broke up with you like that—and for a drummer!"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Sirius inquired, blankly.

"Mary broke up with Remus," James clarified.

"Remus has a girlfriend?! Remus?!" Sirius gaped.

"Had," Peter corrected as he took a seat on the reclining chair.

"You knew, too?!"

"Well, yeah. You'd have to be pretty thick to not know it. He'd only been dating her for 1 and ½ years," Peter added sarcastically and took a bite out of a carrot; he was on a diet.

"YEARS?!!!" Sirius shouted, becoming angry that nobody cared to notify him. "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

"We just assumed that you knew," James told him, feeling guilty about keeping their friend in the dark.

"Who is Mary? I don't even know her."

"She's a 5th year Griffindor. She has blonde hair—short—thin—and she has the most beautiful greenish/grayish/bluish/hazelish eyes I've ever seen," Remus sniffed.

"Don't worry about it. She doesn't deserve you," James reassured him.

"Don't you mean that I don't deserve her?" Remus spat. "She was the nicest, most caring girlfriend I've ever had."

"You mean the only girlfriend you've ever had. Don't you?" Sirius asked, becoming more paranoid by the minute.

"No," James answered for Remus. "He dated a Ravenclaw named Allison when we were in 4th year, but that only lasted 2 months. She went to a muggle prison because she murdered a cheerleader while she was visiting her family during Winter Break. I held a new respect for her after that, but with her in prison it couldn't have worked between us."

"Is that all, or is Remus secretly a monster?"

"No and yes. And you already knew that. Werewolf, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I feel stupid."

"He also dated a girl named Liz in 3rd year. They broke up after she telepathically read his mind and caught a glimpse of his—er—condition. She never found out, but she came too close for comfort."

"Why didn't anybody tell me?!"

"We just did."

"Shut up, that doesn't count. Besides, there are things you don't know about me."

"Yeah, right. Like what?!"

"How does it feel to be out of the loop, Prongs?" Sirius asked him, basking in the glory of knowledge.

"I don't even want you to tell me."

"Fine. Then I'll just tell you." Sirius cackled evilly. "I'm friends with Aphrodite. I rescued her from an angry dragon. See, the dragon started chasing her after she got lost and accidentally wandered into a dragon cave. The dragon, Norwegian Ridgeback, chased her into a lake. I just happened to be nearby, and I saved her from a watery demise."

"Yeah, I believe that." Remus scoffed, and then added sardonically, "and Mary is the most graceful person in the world. Speaking of Mary, I miss her so much!"

Author's Notes: This is the shortest chapter on earth but I want to post it. Hehe don't you love me? Of course you do.

Special Guest Stars in Chapter 14: MARY! ALLISON! LIZZIE!

Next Chapter: Aphrodite is going to guest star. WOOHOO!!! and mary (j/k) (not) (fine, Mary! You can be in another stupid chapter and destroy it more!!!!)

Upcoming Events: I'm to random to be able to think that far ahead.