Note: Here is the first chapter I wrote for these Arches. It's long…but you'll grow used to that!

Twists and Turns by Kharál Tesehan Sun Feb 9 2003 11:38:35 pm

OOC: Yup yup, that's the way I always do it g Also, I only just wrote this one up (on the spot just now) and I have not yet finished Arch #1, so it may be a long process. I usually have them prewritten by the time I actually post them. But not this time! Anyway, here we go!

IC: Kharál stood staring into the mirror, studying her appearance. She knew not why she did so, only that she could not bring herself to turn away just yet. She noticed the way her entire frame fit into the confines of the slender and short mirror, the way her long dark hair framed her pale face, the way her big dark eyes appeared as bottomless pools.

She became disturbed at the sight of those eyes. They were full of…nothing. She was sure there was something within her, something that ought to have been reflected in her eyes, for were the eyes not the windows to the soul? But there was nothing. She was void of anything that might have made her a human being: void of compassion, of fear, of longing and determination; of everything in those few moments when she stood before the mirror, criticising herself.

The spell was broken abruptly and she realised it was getting late. She ought to be preparing herself for bed. She had a big day tomorrow, taking on her third solo research project for Amarith Sedai. The woman was a slave driver, but Kharál revelled in the discipline, knowing that learning a little more humility could only serve her in the future. Character building, Amarith had said, and Kharál had tried to make herself believe it at the time.

Her head fairly ached at the thought of the long hours of study that would take up her day tomorrow, but she took that as a good sign – a sign that she was working hard and that she would advance her studies, since hard work was supposed to pay off in the end.

She had just begun to wash her face with a washcloth and the now-cold water that she had been allocated when a knock sounded at the door. Kharál's brow might have furrowed slightly if she had not been the kind of girl she was, for who would be stopping by at this hour?

Placing the washcloth in the bowl of water, she rose from her seat and swept her hair over her shoulder as she walked to the door. When she opened it, the Mistress of Novices stood before her, imposing in her stature. Seyeiyn Sedai had an atmosphere of anticipation accompanying her.

Kharál stared for a moment in surprise, then realised she ought to be curtseying. Doing so she saw Seyeiyn Sedai nod almost imperceptibly and then heard the woman say, "Please follow me, Kharál." Kharál obeyed, chest tightening inexplicably as she shut her door behind her and stepped out into the dark hallway.

She and the Mistress of Novices walked for what felt like hours, taking a dizzying path down and down into the base of the Tower. Kharál had managed to keep track of where she was going at first, but had soon lost that ability. She was only now realising just how large the Tower was, in spite of having spent several years walking its corridors. She had thought she'd come to know the place quite well. She had been wrong.

It seemed to Kharál that as they moved further into the Tower's heart, the style of decorations changed. In fact, eventually there were no decorations at all, the walls no longer quite as smooth and now completely stark. The passage they walked had now narrowed, and Kharál began to feel slightly claustrophobic, though she tried to quell her sense of supreme unease. She thought briefly of the fact that the entire White Tower lay overhead, and hastily pushed that thought away. These particular walls gave the impression of great age, and Kharál was not only intimidated but also quite awed. How many young women had passed this way before her? It was a very daunting thought.

Seyeiyn Sedai suddenly stopped in front of a pair of doors, and soon enough those doors were open. Seyeiyn led Kharál into a naturally formed circular room in which a number of other Aes Sedai waited. Kharál was slightly alarmed by their presence, now knowing just how serious this business was, but her attention was soon captured by the dominating presence in the room – the ter'angreal arches. Her jaw all but dropped at the sight of the glowing structure. Her heart also squeezed painfully, for fear had found her at least, breaking through all her defences with stunning deftness.

She realised that Seyeiyn had turned to face her. The Mistress of Novices' expression was very businesslike. "Now I will tell you two things no woman hears before she stands where you do," Seyeiyn said. "Once you begin, you must go on to the end. Refuse at any point, and you will be put out of the Tower just as if you had refused to begin for the third time."

Kharál's soul stilled at the thought of being turned out of the Tower. I will never refuse. Never. This is my only chance to do great things.

"Second; to seek, to strive, is to know danger. Some women have entered, and never come out. When the ter'angreal was allowed to grow quiet, they…were…not…there, and they were never seen again."

Kharál wondered what on earth could have pretended women from returning in the past. What kind of horrors laid waiting for her in the arches?

"If you would survive," Seyeiyn continued, "you must be steadfast. Falter, fail, and…" The Aes Sedai did not need to say more. Kharál knew what she was implying. "This is your last chance," Seyeiyn said after a moment. "Refuse now, and it only counts as the first. You may still try twice more. If you accept now, there is no turning back. It is no shame to refuse. Even some of the best Aes Sedai could not do it their first time. Choose."

Kharál felt quite out of control as she nodded hastily, not wanting to wait too long lest an extended hesitation be construed as a refusal to go on. She could not falter, the Mistress of Novices had said. Well, surely refusing to take this test would be faltering in the extreme? Kharál was not aware of her body trembling, for it was almost as if her mind and body were separate, and the former had no control over the latter.

Seyaiyn smiled then, but Kharál was not comforted by it. She was not comforted by any of the thoughts that whirled through her mind, thoughts about how they wouldn't have brought her here if they didn't think she was ready, or about how she had worked hard over the years as a novice and ought to be prepared. Nothing helped to build her confidence.

Seyeiyn had nodded towards another of the Aes Sedai, whose name Kharál could not recall in her moment of panic, and now the woman was speaking. The words had the ring of utter formality, and Kharál assumed they were the same words that had been spoken on these occasions for centuries. Again, a sense of awe washed into her, almost drowning her sense of fright.

"Whom do you bring with you, Sister?"

"One who comes as a candidate for Acceptance, Sister," Seyeiyn said.

"Is she ready?"

"She is ready to leave behind what she was, and, passing through her fears, gain Acceptance."

Am I ready for that? Kharál wondered, feeling that her legs must be almost jelly by now. How was she still standing?

"Does she know her fears?"

"She has never faced them, but now is willing." Seyeiyn sounded so sure of it, or perhaps that was only her job, to be sure.

"Then let her face what she fears."

Kharál recalled the first Spirit lesson she had ever taken, when she had been unwillingly dragged before her greatest fears and had had them shoved in her face ruthlessly. She had prepared herself better in subsequent lessons, but was she anywhere near ready for this kind of test? Only time would tell.

It was now time to remove all her clothing. She did so with stiff, jerky movements, mouth suddenly dry. It was not so much that she feared standing naked before others, but that bodily nakedness was in some way correlated to the nakedness of the heart. For Kharál, bearing one's heart was the best way to make oneself vulnerable.

Seyeiyn fixed the now naked novice with a determined stare and said, "The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."

Kharál turned to face the arch, legs trembling as she walked forward. The mysterious burning light seemed to invite her, but it was the utter quietness of the structure that struck the greatest fear into her. Someone had made this thing, centuries ago, an age ago, and from what Kharál had read nobody really knew what it's true use had been. Here she was, utterly naked and alone, about to step into it. How could she ever know what would happen to her inside?

As she moved further forward the alien light of the arches illuminated her bare skin, eventually blanching it completely white. Her face became far more childlike in the peculiar glow, and as she was increasingly blinded physically, she was also mentally blinded to all those around her. In those few moments before the light consumed her, she knew the meaning of complete and utter solitude.

One moment Kharál stood there in the testing chamber; the next she was gone.