Chapter 16: Voldemort in a Bath and The Wizard of Latinland
A/n: I hate Fudge. And this one is for McGonagall; our new hero. RIP SIRIUS BLACK!
Disclaimer: Belongs to JK Rowling. Nor do I own MTV, Punk*d, or Jackass. But I might buy Ashton Kutcher if he's for sale. And I don't own The Wizard of Oz either.
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In a matter of minutes, the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, was walking down the hall onto the scene of the crime. As the closest things to witnesses, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were allowed to miss class.
Step aside, the Minister said, nudging Ron out of the way. I'm here to inspect. Where has Professor Dumbledore gotten to? He tilted his lime green bowler to the side of his head.
I'm right here, Minister, Dumbledore seemed to appear from nowhere out of the dark. His face showed trouble, though there was still a twinkle of laughter in his marvelously blue eyes.
Symbol Tree Lawn, did you say?
Sybill Trelawney. She was our Divination professor. He then added more quietly, Highly overpaid... He shook his head of his previous thoughts. Anyway, Minister, we called you over here because, well, frankly we have no idea why someone would go and kill one of Hogwarts' professors. We need the Ministry's help on this one.
Can we make it quick? I'm supposed to have a meeting with the Minister of France. Ah, it's France. No one cares.
Fudge and Dumbledore went aside from the scene of the crime to talk. Harry turned to his friends. Why on earth whould anyone want to kill that old bat?
That isn't nice, Harry, Hermione scolded. Though, she is dead and she is an old bat.
Ron are you all right? Harry put his hand on Ron's shoulder. Ron had turned rather pale and was trembling slightly with every move.
What? O-oh. Sorry, I... I just don't like, uh, dead things, he mumbled, taking quick rapid glances in the corpse's direction. I really don't like them.
Professor McGonagall entered the hallway. She walked up to the three students. This is taking too long. The Minister is talking about absolute nonsense. He wants to go out for butterbeers when he's through here! She rolled her eyes but regained composure. Let's get this over with. Just tell me what happened.
Harry looked at his friends, neither of which looked like they wanted to talk. We were just going to Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor, and we saw that this closet was open. He pointed to the closet where Professor Trelawney's body still lay. I went to go shut it, but there was something blocking it so I couldn't. I opened the door, and there was her body.
McGonagall bit her lip. Thank-you, Mr. Potter. You will save us a great deal of time. As she walked over to Dumbledore and Fudge, she mumbled something that sounded like, Any minute I know Lucius Malfoy is going to come walking into here.
And since I am the author and I can do whatever I want, not only did Lucius Malfoy walk into that hallway, but he was carrying a giant cucumber and had a cherry tootsie pop in is mouth. The three students stood in awe as they witnessed this man of great power sucking on a sucker. When Mr. Malfoy realized what was in his hand and mouth, he shouted and dropped them both.
He then calmly strutted to the Minister as if nothing had happened. Just after throwing Harry an evil glance, he said to the Minister, This is most certainly not suitable for my son's school setting. Any word of this gets out to the public and I'm pulling him from this school.
Let's not put this out of proportion, Dumbledore replied. We will be alerting the entire school, no matter young Malfoy's status. But no, I won't be calling the presses on this matter.
Mr. Malfoy turned up his nose in a well, it doesn't matter because you're full of crock' type of way. Both Ron and Harry looked at each other and knew instantly that they both had the same idea: they wanted to smack Mr. Malfoy. Hermione held them back.
The three slowly began to move closer to their two professors, Minister, and mean father in order to hear their now whispering voices.
Fudge was saying, I want to know who's behind all this!
Harry rolled his eyes. Well isn't it obvious?
The four adults, startled, all turned to look at him. He hadn't meant to say it aloud, but it simply slipped.
Fudge grinned stupidly. Oh, Mr. Potter! How splendid to see you, my boy. Now, isn't what obvious?
I said it was obvious who was behind all this, Harry said, rather annoyed.
I'm sorry, behind what?
Harry stared blankly at the Minister of Magic. How someone so stupid and idiotic was elected as the head of the Magic world, Harry and the world may never know. The murder... Indeed, Harry was quite annoyed.
What murder, son? He turned to Lucius Malfoy and whispered, Poor boy, off his crocker, he is.
Harry's eyes widened. Dumbledore decided it was time to speak up. Um, Sir, Professor Sybill Trelawney's murder. The reason you are present at Hogwarts School? It's quite all right... Harry actually found the body. Harry nodded.
Oh! Terribly sorry, my boy! Fudge slapped Harry on the shoulder. Yes, I do believe it is quite obvious who murdered this Symbol – what was her name?
Dumbledore said, sighing.
McGonagall rolled her eyes. Good riddance, she muttered.
said Harry. Wait, but I didn't think you thought that he had returned to power –
The French! Fudge hollered, pointing a finger in the air. I've got it... They wanted to have a meeting with me, only to get me away, and then they would strike. Ha! They couldn't fool me. Damn those French...
Actually, Mr. Minister, I was thinking of Voldemort... Hermione, Ron, and Professor McGonagall all shuddered at the name. A quick nervous look flashed across Lucius Malfoy's face, but no one noticed.
What poppycock! Fudge shouted. Voldemort is gone. He won't be returning.
I fought against him last summer, and again just a few weeks ago! Harry argued back. I'm sure it was him.
It does make sense, said McGonagall, quite suddenly. The old hag was born a Muggle.
Lucius Malfoy laughed nervously. Th-that can't be right. Voldemort isn't back in power. No, no. You must all be mistaken. Yes, that's it. This had NOTHING to do with Voldemort, he said all too suspiciously.
Anyway, I believe it could not have possibly been the Dark Lord. Well, we can solve this later. Let us eat supper! Fudge turned a full circle then marched down the wrong corridor to the Great Hall.
Everyone else turned in the correct direction of the Great Hall. So far it was empty and Harry, Ron, and Hermione took their seats at the head of Gryffindor table. Lucius made himself comfortable at a spot at the Slytherin table. McGonagall sat at the staff table. As Dumbledore passed Harry, he stopped his professor.
You do believe me? That Voldemort is behind all this? he asked.
Dumbledore glanced at Lucius, then returned Harry's gaze with his sparkling blue eyes. Yes. Especially after hearing Mr. Malfoy defending the Dark Lord. I believe you are right one hundred percent.
What's going to happen to the body? Hermione asked.
A team from the Ministry is going to take care of that, he replied, and made his way up and took his seat next to McGonagall.
Finally a flustered looking Fudge ran into the door of the Great Hall. Ooof! Why, Professor Dumbledore! One must be careful when walking into wrong doors in this school. That was quite a dog I ran into.
Harry, Hermione, and Ron all exchanged glances. they all said together.
Fudge shook his head and made a seat at the Head Table. Slowly, many students began filing into the Great Hall, and whispers of confusion arose.
Is that the Minister?
What could he be doing here?
What an ugly hat!
Hey, isn't that Malfoy's dad?
Finally, Dumbledore stood up, issuing a silence across the room. We have quite some news to deliver. One of our professors has been murdered. But don't worry – we will find a replacement teacher for your Divination classes. I am sorry to announce that Sybill Trelawney was found dead this afternoon.
More whispers arose all around the room. There were a few frowns, but mostly there were cheers. Fred and George began a round of Ding-Dong, the witch is dead!' at the Gryffindor table.
Dumbledore held his hand up for more silence. Though I am pleased to announce that we have two visitors for the day. Lucius Malfoy, a great applause broke from the Slytherin table, and our very own Minister of Magic; Mr. Cornelius Fudge. There was more applause, from the rest of the school.
Just as Fudge stood up to welcome the applause, Wendy and Snuffles walked into the Great Hall, Wendy looking slightly more tan than when she was last seen. Snuffles had a flowered lei around his neck, and had an angry dog aura about him
We came back as soon as we heard, Wendy whispered to Harry as she passed by. Got news from the Elders. I need to talk to you after supper. She and Sirius found seats at the staff table.
What's wrong with Snuffles? Ron asked. He looks... kinda pissed.
I'm sure you'd be pissed too if you were interrupted from your honeymoon, Hermione pointed out. Ron raised his eyebrows suggestively at Harry, causing them both to laugh.
Sh! Keep it down you two! Hermione scolded. I want to see if the mysterious chair exploder is here.
Harry and Ron asked at the same time.
Hermione rolled her eyes. Every time the Minister makes a public appearance, his chair mysteriously explodes. I hope to see a glimpse of who does it.
Exactly on cue, when Fudge sat down, his chair exploded with a loud CRACK' that sent him and his chair flying.
Ooh, Cadance is here! Wendy squealed. I better go grab a towel and head to the lake.
Harry asked as she passed by him.
Oh, you'll see.
Suddenly a young woman with strawberry blonde hair dressed as Indiana Jones ran across the room.
CADANCE ROSE DUMBLEDORE! Stop exploding the Minister's chair!
All the students became wide eyed. That crazy chair exploding woman was related to Dumbledore? This was all too hard for them to believe. Suddenly, Cadance shouted Save the ducks!' before jumping out of the open window. After a few seconds, a loud SPLASH could be heard.
Now the Great Hall was roaring with whispers. Ron leaned towards Harry. I swear I've seen her before... Oh my God! That's Charlie's girlfriend! The tips of his ears turned red.
This time both Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore had to stand before silence was spread across the room. Harry noticed a flustered look on McGonagall's face as she whispered something to Dumbledore and then exited the Great Hall. I'm sorry, students, for the interruption. Mr. Minister, are you all right?
He stood up, though slowly, and at first his hat had fallen over his eyes. Yes, yes, nothing a good swig of pumpkin juice won't cure, he replied, plastering on a fake smile. Dumbledore turned away and he began grumbling something under his breath and rubbing his sore bottom.
By all means, everyone, said Dumbledore,
Food filled the many plates on every table, and all the students satisfied their hunger as the recent events was cause for table-talk.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione ate quickly. Harry caught Snuffles' eye and he followed them to Wendy's place. They quietly opened the door and found Wendy, Cadance, and McGonagall all standing in Wendy's living room.
I can't believe the nerve of you, Cadance! McGonagall shouted. What on earth were you thinking, coming back to Hogwarts to do that? I thought you caused enough trouble here already...
Oh, Minerva, please! You know Cadance has a short attention span when it comes to wreaking havoc, said Wendy.
It's true, added Sirius after evolving back into a human.
You have to admit you enjoyed it, Minerva, Cadance smirked.
The stern look slowly faded from McGonagall's face. Yes. But that's still no excuse for continually blowing up the Minister of Magic's chair. Cadance simply shrugged; something Harry had never seen anyone do after a McGonagall comment. By the way, I heard they found your sister. I suppose that's your reason for blowing up the Minister's chair, isn't it? She nodded. When Cadance's sister, Jen, was a baby, Fudge was put in charge of her and lost her. Will you be staying long, Cadance?
Well, I might be able to stay for a day or so, but I have to go meet a friend in Disney World. You know, what are those Weasley twins up to nowadays?
Same old, same old, said Wendy. You taught them well.
What can I say, they make me proud.
From the silence that followed, the three teenagers in the room were bursting with questions.
Are you really related to Dumbledore?, Are you Charlie's girlfriend?, and How did you make that chair explode? were all asked at the same time.
Everyone turned to look at the three, yet again unaware of their presence. Oh, hi! said Wendy and Cadance cheerfully. So what were those questions again?
Hermione stepped forward. You're related to Dumbledore?
Yes, I'm his great-niece. He's my Great Uncle Albus. Next?
Are you my brother, Charlie's, girlfriend? I swear I've seen you before, said Ron.
Cadance smiled happily. Oh, goodness, you're just Charlie's MiniMe, aren't you? And, no I'm not his girlfriend... I'm his fiancé, actually! Wendy screamed and hugged her friend, who was still wet from jumping in the lake. Wendy was now also wet. Cadance muttered, making them both suddenly dry. Ah, and now for young Mr. Potter's question. I knew your parents well.
Harry nodded. He rather liked Cadance, and for more than the reason that she hadn't once gaped at his scar. How did you make that chair explode?
Cadance grinned evilly. McGonagall scowled. I will NOT, under any circumstances, let another one of my students be taught how to properly explode a chair by you!
What do you mean, Minerva? Fred, George, and Lee can't do it properly... said Cadance.
... They always forget a certain factor, finished Wendy.
And that would be? McGonagall asked.
Their lips are sealed, Professor. They won't even tell me, said Sirius.
Well it's nice one of you still calls me professor. McGonagall turned back to Cadance. Your uncle will want to speak with you later, I'm sure, she said, just before heading to the door. She gave her a quick wink before leaving the room.
Well, guys and gals, I'm off to find some youngins to mess with, Cadance said, standing up and shaking her robes. Wendy, Sirius, she tipped her head to regard them, Hermione, Little Weasley... Mr. Potter.
Bye... You better come back and see us before you go to Disney World! Wendy shouted as Cadance walked out the door. Wow, it's great having her show up like this. And exploding chairs, too, just like we remember her.
Sirius nodded. Yeah, but can we get back to our honeymoon now?
Oh, you be patient, I just need to tell Harry about the Elder's thing. Sirius scowled, folded his arms across his chest, and leaned back into the couch. He much resembled an angry six year old. Harry, just before Trelawney was murdered, the Elders called me up and told me some news about Voldemort.
What? Am I right, did he kill Professor Trelawney?
One thing at a time, Harry. They said his last meeting with you sent him into deep hiding. They have good sources who say he'll lay low for a while. But...
But what?
... Because he's laying low doesn't mean that he isn't sending others to take care of his business. Like Wormtail. Catch my drift?
It was visible on Ron's face that he was putting the pieces of this puzzle together. You mean, Scabbers killed Trelawney? Wendy raised her eyebrows and nodded.
That's a good question, said Hermione. If you ask me that woman is nothing more than a cauldron full of –
interrupted Harry. He was just remembering his last Divination class... That's it! He clearly remembered seeing a mouse in his crystal ball. He told everyone about this. Only it was really a rat, not a mouse, he finished.
Okay, so you foresaw' that Wormtail was coming. What's that got to do with Trelawney's death and Voldemort? Sirius asked. Wendy had not explained the Elders' words to him. If she did, he hadn't been paying attention.
Voldemort sent Wormtail to kill Trelawney. You know, guys, she's like the great great great something or other of this old Seer. Her ancestor held high power in the Divination area. Trelawney did receive some of that gift –
But obviously not enough of it, said Hermione.
Wendy continued, apparently she foresaw something that was to Voldemort's disadvantage. I mean really foresaw something. Not like her Harry's going to die in a week' crap.
Then why exactly are the Elders worried about Trelawney?
Well, they think he might go after you. And if not you, most definitely someone else.
Ha! You think Wormtail can kill Harry Potter? Sirius laughed.
Wendy turned and gave him a stern look. He could if Voldemort gave him some of his powers. We still don't know how he managed to kill Trelawney. She turned to Ron and Hermione. I want at least one of you with Harry at all times. Understand? They all nodded. Good. I don't want anymore deaths around here. The Elders get all pissed off on me!
Suddenly an odd squishing sound could be heard outside in the hall. Everyone ran out the door to find Fred and George Weasley covered in green muck.
Wendy raised one eyebrow.
both of them replied. She's our hero.
They continued their trudge, and it was noticed that their hair began to change from the usual red to sparkling gold.
By George, George! She's done it again! shouted Fred.
By George, Fred, she has! They finally managed to scuttle into the Gryffindor Common Room after much objection the the painting of the Fat Lady.
Everyone returned to Wendy's living room, where a dull silence followed. said Sirius finally, Where's Remus and Belle?
Right on cue, Lupin stuck his head in the door. Come quick! There's been another death!
In a rather slow manner, everyone looked at each other before finally shooting of their seats and running after Lupin. They had to push their way through a crowd of students and Ministry workers. Sirius simply pranced his little doggy feet though everyone's legs.
Oh my word... Hermione whispered as she stared at the body. It's the Minister.
However, behind all the worry and concern on everyone's faces, whispers of Good riddance, and What was he smoking? were spreading again. Once again, Fred and George (now muck free, though still with gold hair that had evolved into mullets) started a round of Ding-Dong, the witch is dead!'
Harry stood back from all the confusion. Hermione and Ron were talking near him, but he wasn't following their conversation. Lupin was squatting down on the ground trying to explain to Belle what happened to that weird man with an ugly hat. Harry finally saw Wendy and Snuffles beckoning him into an empty classroom.
he asked after shutting the door.
The Elders want to talk. You, me, and them. Siri can come too. Wendy held out her hand to each of them (after Sirius had turned back into a human). A familiar swirling sensation washed over Harry as Wendy's orb began. He soon found himself in a large white room. At the front was a high desk at which was seated the Elders.
Mr. Potter! You must not return to Hogwarts! one shouted. There is great danger.
Just one moment, Barnabus, we might find a way to let him return, the center Elder spoke, holding his hand in the air. As Mrs. Black has already told you, Wendy blushed at being called Mrs. Black, It is indeed Voldemort behind these deaths. We are certain that he is using a Mr. Peter Pettigrew to accomplish them, however. You know he has killed Professor Sybill Trelawney and Minister Cornelius Fudge. There is some worry among us that you are his next target.
Others of us do not think this. Like Barnabus told you; there is great danger. Personally, considering my past knowledge of Voldemort, I believe he will kill again. Mind you, he will try to get someone close to you. But not you, not just yet.
Is it safe that I go back, then? Harry asked.
More or less. Make sure you are with Wendy- she can orb you out of mortal danger. Harry nodded. ... And keep your Sword with you. You never know...
Harry stared at him skeptically. Come on Harry, Wendy said tugging at his and Sirius's arm. Harry continued to look at the face of the center Elder, though he could draw nothing from his expression. You never know...' What was that supposed to mean? He quickly found himself caught in Wendy's orb and had to be shaken from his thoughts.
Wendy had orbed them back into her place, where they found Lupin and Belle. Where were you guys? Lupin asked.
Oh, we had to go see the Elders. Have you and Belle moved into your own portrait yet?
Just about. Why?
Because I'd feel better if Harry spent the night here. It looks like Sirius and I won't be going back on our honeymoon after all... Wendy cast a nervous glance at her husband, who was giving her the evil eye. Oh, you stop that. We can go back once the danger has cleared. Stop looking at me like that! She threw a pillow at his head. Come on, Harry, we better go grab a certain weapon if you know what I mean.
Harry nodded and he and Wendy headed for his dormitory. They found Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, and Cadance in the Common Room. Ay, Harry! shouted Ron. What's up?
Elders stuff. I have to stay with Wendy for a while. And I need to grab my... um... Gladius... Harry said. In Latin...
Your sword? You have a sword? Cadance asked. Oh, yeah, I know Latin. Hey, Wendy, why are you doing that weird motion like you're slicing your hands in the air for me to stop?
Everyone looked around at each other. Why would Harry have a sword? Ginny, Fred, and George asked each other.
Cadance, can I talk to you for a moment? Wendy asked. Cadance stood up and went to a corner with Wendy. uoy wonk taht s'yrraH eht rieH fo rodniffyrG, thgir?
llew, I thguoht ti saw suoivbo.
The young students were now giving them strange looks. Why were they talking in a different language?
I thguoht ti saw oot, tub ti t'nsi ot emos elpoep, ecnadaC. dna m'I erus taht yrraH t'nseod tnaw elpoep ot wonk taht eh sah a gnikaerf eguh drowS gnittis ni sih knurt tsuj gnitiaw rof mih ot esu ot taeb eht krad drol ot a ydoolb daed plup.
eurt taht. nehw did uoy trats ot teg os eisw gnidnuos? She brushed a stray hair behind her ear.
Wendy shrugged. semoc htiw eht elohw rethgiletihW gig.
Okay, guys, said Cadance, turning back to the curious and confused students. Did I say sword? I meant gladiator...
Harry has a gladiator? asked Ginny, blushing slightly.
Yes – I mean no – I mean – Wendy what do I mean? Cadance scratched her head for a moment. I got it! Gladiator is a figure of speech. No! It's a code name. That's it. It's code for something.
yerv htooms.
All right, then Harry. You go get your gladius, toyed Fred. His hair and George's, still sparkling gold, though now in a bouffant style opposed to a mullet.
said Harry, staring nervously at Wendy.
It's all right. Come on, I'll go with you. ecnadaC: t'nod llet meht gnihtyna tuoba yrraH gnieb eht rieH. Cadance nodded at Wendy's directions, while the latter pushed Harry up the stairs to his empty dormitory. Go ahead and grab it and give it to me. I'll orb it to Sirius and then come back. Oh wait, I can't leave you alone. Damn the Elders and evil people... Oh! How about we put it under your Invisibility Cloak. That's it isn't it? Or is it invisible and blending into stuff. Oh wait, I can see invisible stuff. Stupid me! she hit her forehead.
As Wendy continued to ramble and conceal his Sword under the cloak, Harry stared at her strangely. What were you talking about with Cadance? Or more importantly, how? he asked when she took a breath.
Oh. It's an old, dead language. Only special people can speak it, she added smugly.
Special ed... Harry muttered.
What was that?
Wendy raised one eyebrow. Anyway, I was telling her that the others, I mean Ginny, Fred, and George, didn't know about you being the Heir. Ron and Hermione are the only ones who know about the Sword, right?
Harry lay back on his bed momentarily. Why would he need his Sword if it was only Wormtail doing Voldemort's bidding? He sighed. There must be something the Elders weren't telling him. Is there something the Elders aren't telling me? he asked impulsively, though pretty sure that Wendy may know something.
There's ALWAYS something the Elders haven't told you. But you know everything I know, and vice versa. So I guess I'm as confused as you are. I think. But then again I'm confused in general. Harry sighed again. Harry, just calm down. I'm sure that you won't need to use your Sword. The Elders are always just concerned for your safety.
Does that mean they think Voldemort is coming?
I doubt it. The prophecy says that you aren't supposed to defeat the Dark Lord until – Oh shit...
No! What?!? Wendy?
No, I've said way too much. Oh God, the Elders are gonna kill me! She bit her lip and turned away from Harry.
Harry walked in front of her and forced her too look at him. You said something about a prophecy and Voldemort and me. You have to tell me.
Harry I can't! Harry noticed tears forming in her eyes. I just made a huge mistake beginning that little ramble. I've been sworn to secrecy. I cannot believe I almost gave it away. I wish I could tell you Harry. But if you want to know the rest, you'll just have to talk to Dumbledore. Maybe you can persuade him.
Then that's where I'm going. He turned to leave and got to the doorway before Wendy orbed in front of him.
Harry, no, it's not time. Please, just come back with me to my place. Stay the night. You can have Remus's old room. Ron can stay too, if he likes. Please, Harry?
Harry slowed his breathing. She did already have the Sword wrapped nicely in his cloak. And the Elders did seem to care. And Wendy did seem really sorry... a look of relief washed over Wendy, but I want another bag of marshmallows.
She smiled. Deal. Come on then, the others are probably wondering what happened to us up here.
When they returned to the Gryffindor Common Room, with the Sword of Gryffindor concealed, they found a phoenix chasing around two bald Weasley twins.
What the... began Harry. Okay, that's definitely a phoenix, but it sure isn't Fawkes.
Right, it's Cadance. She's an Animagus. Wow, watching her chase around those twins sure brings back some good memories... Hey, Ron! He tore his laughing face away from his struggling brothers. Want to spend the night with Harry at my place?
Ay, mates! Television all night long!
Oh, not again, Hermione added, rolling her eyes. You're just going to watch MTV.
So? American TV is great, he said, wide-eyed at Harry. I live for that Punk*d show.
Anyway, best be going now. Harry, Ron, all set? Wendy asked, awkwardly holding her hand out in the air, trying not to show that she was holding something invisible. Cadance, you will come and stop by before you leave?
A strong phoenix call was heard before they all headed back to Wendy's place. Ron, I'll give you, oh, an hour of MTV. But that's it. No bribing me this time.
An hour? Oh come on! I can get you more candies from Honeydukes.
Wendy grinned. Likes those little Bertie Botts Beans? No – Cheater! I said no bribing! Oh, hi Siri. Still glum about the postponed honeymoon? He nodded sadly. He still had his flowered lei around his neck. She kissed him gently on his cheek.
Wendy, where are your marshmallows? Harry asked eagerly after taking the Sword from Wendy and putting it under his bed, as well as his Invisibility Cloak. He was starving from his quickly eaten dinner.
Um, check one of the cupboards, but not the one under the sink. I think you remember what happens when you open that one... Harry clearly remembered Ron being sucked into it and nodded.
He soon plopped down onto the couch with his half empty bag of marshmallows (What? Harry splurged a little when he found the unopened bag) next to Ron, who was already deep in concentration while watching these guys in thongs beat each other up. Harry found their peculiar antics mildly amusing, especially those of the midget.
Cadance soon burst through the door. Aren't you a little late to be leaving? asked Wendy, realizing the time it was getting to be.
Some things are more important than punctuality, but nothing is more important than pancakes, Cadance replied. Harry felt that this quote seemed like her motto. Well, anyway, now that Fudge is dead I don't have to stalk him and explode every chair he sets his fat butt in. All of you better keep in touch now. And Harry, keep fulfilling your destiny. She winked.
Hey Cadance, before you leave, you want to run around the school shouting McGonagall is my leader' just to see what she says?
Wendy hopped up from her seat and took Cadance's arm, and they skipped out the door, already singing McGonagall is my leader!' at the top of their lungs.
About ten minutes later, they returned, panting. She didn't like it very much, said Wendy.
I can't understand why. I mean, you would love it if we followed you around saying you were our leader. Wouldn't you guys? Cadance asked.
Sirius, Ron, and Harry all exchanged glances. Um... sure, said Sirius.
Well, I better be going. Cati is probably worried about me by now. Actually, she's probably trying to get a date with one of those Disney characters. Adios! Au revoir! Ciao! She turned into a phoenix and flew out the open window.
Guess she's going to Disney World via Air Cadance, said Wendy. A loud SPLASH could be heard. ... After she jumps into the lake.
Saw that one coming a mile away, grinned Sirius.
Wendy cuddled up with her new husband, and Harry and Ron went back to watching TV. Siri, I want a another Muggle toy!
Such as...?
A laptop!
* * * * * * *
It was later that night after everyone was asleep when Harry's scar prickled. He had to be the only person awake. He couldn't help but recall Wendy's words earlier...
The Prophecy says that you aren't supposed the defeat the Dark Lord until –'
Until when? Why couldn't she tell him? Why was she sworn to secrecy? And why was it up to Dumbledore? His scar stung with pain again. That's it, he decided, he needed to talk with Dumbledore and sort this all out. He slipped out the Invisibility Cloak from under his bed and concealed himself in it, careful not to wake Ron. Harry debated whether or not to take his Sword, but opted not to. Wendy said that the Elders just want him to be cautious, so he felt no real obligation to take it.
He crept out the door and into the living room, then into the hallways. A dead silence sifted through the corridors, and he felt another sharp twinge from his scar. He shoved himself against a wall when he heard the pitter patter of footsteps in front of him.
It was Belle.
Belle, what are you doing here? he whispered, revealing himself to her.
Harry, I... I had a premonition. It really scared me but I didn't want to wake my dad, so I thought I'd go see Dumbledore.
Harry frowned. Well, you probably should have woken your dad, or even Wendy, but come on, I'm going to Dumbledore too. Under the Cloak with me, now. She took Harry's hand and hid under the Cloak with him, and they each continued their journey to Dumbledore's office. They hadn't passed anybody yet in the halls, and as they neared Dumbledore's office, they heard voices. Harry signaled to Belle to keep quiet, and they listened.
Professor, you know this may be your only other opportunity to accept this, one voice said, Harry didn't recognize it.
I understand that, Falthin, but my duties remain here, said another voice, which Harry recognized as Dumbledore's.
Very well then, Professor. Do you nominate any candidates then? said the voice of a woman, again which Harry did not recognize.
There was a long pause at which Harry assumed Dumbledore was thinking. I nominate Professor Minerva McGonagall. She would make a fine Minister. Harry nearly gasped out loud. How could he have forgotten that the Magical Communities needed a Minister? You know where her dormitory is, Odelia?
Yes, we will go ask her then, said Odelia.
Thank you for your time, Professor, said the fist voice; Falthin's voice.
Harry heard their footsteps come nearer, and Harry pulled Belle back away from the wall and into a crook of the corridor. He saw that Falthin was tall and noble looking, Odelia was shorter, pudgier, but with a sweeter face, and each bore the crest of the Ministry on their chests. When they were out of sight, Harry and Belle went around the corner and found Dumbledore pacing in front of the gargoyle that stood guard in front of his office.
Professor Dumbledore! said Harry, taking the Cloak off of him and Belle.
Quick, come into my office, he said, scanning the hallways. he said, causing the gargoyle to jump to the side. All three ran up the stairs. Belle shut the door behind her as Harry settled into one of the chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk. She soon sat next to him.
Professor, were they offering you the position of Minister? Harry asked.
Yes, Harry, they were. But my place is at Hogwarts, not the Ministry of Magic. And I assume you heard me suggest Minerva? Harry nodded. Yes, I do believe she'd make a fine Minister. He paused. But I know you two wouldn't be out of bed to discuss who is to become the next Minister, so will you please explain yourselves?
Harry looked at Belle. Go ahead, he said to her. He didn't want her in the room with him when he asked Dumbledore about his prophecy.
I had a premonition of someone's death, she said. I didn't want to wake my dad, you know, cause it's almost the full moon and I know he needs extra sleep before he changes...
said Dumbledore, his blue eyes twinkling in the firelight. Do you know who's death it was?
Belle shook her head. I couldn't see their face, but I saw a rat.
Harry whispered.
Very well, Belle. Harry...?
It can wait, Professor, Harry said, tilting his head to Belle. Dumbledore seemed to understand.
Belle, why don't you take us to where you saw your premonition? Perhaps is hasn't happened yet and we can prevent it from happening.
Harry and Dumbledore followed Belle down a series of corridors until they reached a steep staircase, at the bottom of which they found a body.
It belonged to Neville Longbottom.
Oh dear, said Dumbledore, the twinkle in his eyes slowly fading, a student this time.
shouted Belle. Wake up, Neville.
Harry squatted down on the ground. Sorry, Belle, he can't hear you. He's dead.
Belle furrowed her brow. Like that weird man with the ugly hat?
Harry nodded glumly. This time it wasn't some teacher Harry disliked, or the incredibly stupid Minister of Magic, but it was his friend. Harry took this death personally against the Dark Lord.
Harry, call for Wendy, ordered Dumbledore. Crap. Wendy would be mad at him...
Meanwhile.....
My liege, it has been done, came the voice of a small, nervous person bowing before the Dark Lord.
Give me more details, Wormtail. And make it speedy, his cold voice hissed.
Y-Yes sir. First I killed one of the Hogwarts Professors... Potter always seemed to be laughing in her class... Then the Minister of Magic, then one of Potters close friends. The last one was easy, he forgot the stupid password –
You idiot, Wormtail! Voldemort shouted. The Minister of Magic is a crack pot! He doesn't believe I'm back in power. How dare you kill him. We could have easily used him. Crucio!
Wormtail writhed in pain to the floor, screaming in agony, trying to make out the words, I'm sorry, my Lord.' Finally Voldemort stopped, and left Wormtail on the ground to wrestle the pain that subsided. When he regained enough strength to stand up, he looked all around Voldemort's secret lair in search of his master. He found him in the bathtub.
Master! I knew I'd find you here!
Wormtail! What are you doing? he shouted, trying to cover himself with the pink bubbles that whisked over the water's surface.
I've come to apologize my Lord. What I did was wrong. I made a bad mistake. All my fault, all mine.
Yes, all your fault. Crucio. Once again pain surged through Wormtail's body, though less than when previously done. The Dark Lord had been calmed slightly in his bath. All right, all right. But I order you to do whatever you have to do to get rid of the new Minister!
Wormtail knows the next Minister, Master.
Who? Don't just stand there, tell me!
Well, they asked Dumbledore –
shouted Voldemort, standing up.
Master, please, sit down, Wormtail urged, covering his eyes. But Dumbledore turned them down. Though he suggested they ask Minerva McGonagall.
He stood up again. Though this time, he had magicked a little black box to cover himself. Follow these directions, Wormtail, go to Lucius Malfoy. Tell him about the Minister. Tell him it is my orders for him to become Minister before that Half blood McGonagall takes over!
Y-Yes, Master, he replied, bowing.
* * * * * * *
The next morning Harry awoke with a terrible headache. Not from his scar, but from events of last night. With all of the confusion of Neville's death and Wendy's angriness, he never had a chance to talk with Dumbledore. He had to talk to him today, no matter what.
He rolled over in bed, and noticed that Ron had already gotten up. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and slid out of bed. Groggily he trudged into the living room where he found Ron watching TV, Sirius eating pancakes, and Wendy typing away at a laptop computer.
Wendy, what are you writing? Sirius finally asked as Harry sat down next to Ron.
Oh, glad you asked. I'm writing a book for Muggles. Quite interesting...
What's it called? Harry asked. Perhaps he could convince his aunt or uncle to read it... hehe.
Larry Zotter and the Magician's Mineral, Sirius read off the computer screen, his eyebrow raised and face in confusion. Written by – Hey! That's not your name. Those aren't even your initials.
I decided on a pen name. And Wendaria P. Black isn't a good writer name.
Well, for one, your middle name doesn't start with a P, it starts with a J, and I mean really, Wendy. Couldn't you think of a better pen name than I. M. Bowling?
Wendy shrugged. I thought it had a ring to it.
So what's it about? asked Harry, not at all interested in whatever MTV show Ron was watching.
It's about this boy, Larry Zotter, and he's lived with his crazy fat Great Great Uncle all his life and then he gets a letter from Pigsnouts School and –
I think I see where this is going... said Sirius.
Hush you! said Wendy. Anyway, he gets a letter from Pigsnouts School of Magic and at first his crazy old uncle locks him in a Panic Room type deal, but then this huge giant name Ruben Baghdad comes and takes him to the School. There, he meets his friends- Don Keezy and Hermanna Ranger, and his arch nemesis- Ain'tcho Palboy. Oh yeah, and Larry has a scar on his hand in the shape of a phone book. Anyway, he gets this teacher name Professor Squirrel who –
Let me guess, where's a turban? asked Harry.
No, a do-rag. Anyway, Larry hears about this guy named Betty who tried to kill him –
Ron, Harry, and Sirius all asked together.
Yes, compliments of Cadance. It's hard to be scared of a guy named Betty. Well, Betty wants to kill him and Larry thinks a Professor Severs His-Grape works for him, but it's really Professor Squirrel. And Larry and his friends hear about this Magician's Mineral that could make them immortal so they try to get it and end up saving the whole School in the process. Oh yeah, and Larry gets a crush on this girl named Cha Ching.
Why does this story sound oddly familiar? asked Ron.
I don't know Ron, I just don't know... laughed Harry. Wendy, you have quite a imagination.
Thank you, thank you!
Belle and Lupin walked in the door. Well, Dumbledore's made it official. School's been canceled until further notice. It was Neville's death that got him. Anyway, everyone's supposed to go back to their Dormitories and they can only leave unless accompanied by a teacher. Except Harry. Under special circumstances...
Ron stood up. Guess that's my cue. Ah, MTV, it was good while it lasted. Later, Harry.
Later Ron.
Hi, Belle, said Wendy after Ron closed the door. Belle seemed distracted, Harry noticed. Are you okay, hunny?
Belle was shaking. Lupin leaned in to Wendy. She's been like that since last night. At first I thought it was because she was scared of getting punished, but I think it was the deaths.
Belle, didn't you see Neville's death in your premonition? Wendy asked.
She was silent for a while. Finally, she lifted her head, though she didn't lose her gaze from her feet. I see death a lot in my premonitions, she started. Those don't usually scare me, cause they are just a kind of dream. Right? But real deaths...
Harry understood. It reminds you of your parents.
Belle held a long silence again.
Belle, I didn't know you knew about your parents' deaths, said Lupin.
I didn't care about it then. And I didn't really understand. People didn't have any business in my parents' deaths anyway. So I just never talked about it and pretended I didn't know. But I knew. She drew in a long breath of air. See, my teachers always thought I was really advanced in reading and stuff. So I read a lot, and I started to understand more and more stuff. And at first I didn't get death.
What do you mean Belle? asked Lupin, hoping to peek into his daughter's past.
I had a premonition. I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't get it. Cause it was the first death one I had. All the ones before it was just... weird stuff... but not death. So when I saw my parents in it with a cloaked figure I just... I dunno what I thought.
But I couldn't save them.
Have you ever told anyone this? Wendy asked.
Only one. Dumbledore.
Oh, sweetie, are you sure you're going to be okay? Wendy asked, putting her arm around Belle and rubbing her shoulder gently.
I guess. It's just seeing Neville in my premonition and then not saving him makes me remember, you know?
Wait, and what does Dumbledore have to say? asked Lupin, clearly thinking there was something more.
He said I came from a highly dignified Wizarding family in America.
I knew it! I knew you had Wizard blood in you, said Wendy, winking at the little girl sitting next to her.
You don't have to answer this question, but did he tell you what killed your parents, if he somehow knew?
He said it was a form of the American Death Eater, or something like that. And that's why he's...
That's why he's what, hunny?
Belle smiled a weak smile. I can't tell you! It's our secret. Lupin appeared to be disappointed that he wasn't clued in about Dumbledore's secret, but it was Dumbledore so he knew she was safe.
After a moment of silence Wendy stood up. That's it. I have to go see Dumbledore. Harry, you should probably get some more sleep.
Aren't you not supposed to leave me?
Well, I'm leaving you in the care of two very responsib – She looked at Sirius who had just poked himself in the eye and then to Remus who was picking his nose. Two semi-responsible adults. So if either you or Belle need anything just call for me. Belle, you should try to sleep too.
But I'm not... she yawned,
Wendy chuckled then orbed away in a flash of swirling white lights. Come on, Belle, you heard Wendy, go with Harry and get some more sleep. Belle took hold of Harry's hand and he led her into the guest bedroom, where she immediately chose the bed on the left and fell asleep. Harry slunk into his bed where he lay awake for only a moment before falling into an uneasy slumber...
His groggy eyes opened finally to find himself in darkness. Yawning, he sat up and felt an odd feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. His eyes trailed around the room and he found himself in a place he did not recognize.
he called. He didn't receive an answer, or even a stirring from the bed next to him. That's when he realized that there was no bed next to him. Strange... he thought, standing up and walking around. He discovered himself to be in an empty, Muggle house. Just as he was about to opened the front door, he heard a distinct growl. He saw something flying through the air out of the corner of his eye, and he turned around just as it made contact with his abdomen. Ow! What the – Crookshanks? What are you doing here? Is Hermione here? The ginger cat simply purred lightly and clung his claws into Harry's... blue checkered overalls? This was quite strange indeed. He shook his head and pulled open the door in front of him.
Crookshanks, I have a feeling we're not in Hogwarts anymore.
The land in front of him was strange and unfamiliar. There were many colorful streets and plants; pools with lily pads and streams; small little buildings with stairs mere inches high in front of them. Harry pealed Crookshanks off his body and took another look around. Suddenly he heard an obnoxious giggling from behind him. As he turned, he saw the many colored flowers moving and swaying, however there was no breeze. Stepping forward to get a better look, he found an opening in the bushes and peered through.
he heard in a high pitched voice, still taking in the sight in front of him. It was his friends from school, or was it? Here was Fred and George Weasley, Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Ernie MacMillan, Cho Chang, and some other Hogwarts students, only they were miniature versions of themselves. All the were crowded around Mini Fred and Mini Lee, who were engaged in a game of Wizard Chess.
Ha, I blocked it.
Check again.
These certainly could not be his classmates: they were all much too short and their voices were too high. One of the munchkins sneezed, and looked up to see Harry. She pointed at him and giggled in that high pitched voice. The others looked up and began giggling too. Harry backed away from the bush, and they followed him. Harry soon found himself staring at a pink bubble floating elegantly in his direction. The bubble quickly evolved into a person with brown, bushy hair and a pink dress.
Harry shouted.
she asked, looking from side to side. I don't see a Hermione here.
What? But you're Hermione. And this is your cat, Harry said skeptically. The munchkins began to laugh again. There was something very peculiar about this place.
No, no. I'm Glinda; the Good Witch of the North, she paused. So are you a good wizard or a bad wizard?
That was definitely Hermione's body, but what happened to her memory and taste in clothes? Good wizard, you know that. I'm Harry... The Munchkins giggled again, which was seriously beginning to annoy Harry. Why do they keep giggling?
They are just happy. You killed the Wicked Wizard of the East. They're free!
What? I didn't kill anyone.
Well, your house fell on him. See? pointed yonder to the house, where Harry saw two legs clad in striped socks sticking out, and finally red shoes. You've killed him!
But I didn't mean to!
laughed and smiled at Harry. It's a good thing. Now the Midgets can live in peace. So they were midgets. Come out, come out, Midgets! The Wicked Wizard is dead! Let the celebrating begin!
Harry looked around him. Many more midgets were emerging from their buildings and other hiding places. One came frantically running down the stairs in front of the building labeled Town Hall.' she yelled. It was Belle. Wait! We have to make sure she's morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably, and reliably dead!
Harry shouted at her.
The midget stopped. Belle? Why, I'm the Mayor. Yes, Harry thought, something was wrong here.
We'll get him outta there! shouted one of the midget Weasley twins. Both, however, headed towards the house and dug at the earth around the body. Quite soon, they pulled out the Wicked Wizard of the East, and to Harry's surprise, he found the body of Snape.
He's most definitely dead! the other twin shouted, his high voice piercing Harry's ears.
All right then, Belle the Mayor continued, let the celebrating begin!
All of the midgets broke out into song.
DING-DONG, THE WIZARD'S DEAD, THE WIZARD'S DEAD, THE WIZARD'S DEAD! DING-DONG, THE WICKED WIZARD'S DEAD!
HE'S GONE WHERE THE GOBLINS GO,
BELOW, BELOW, BELOW, YO-HO, LET'S OPEN UP AND SING AND RING THE BELLS OUT.
DING-DONG, THE MERRY-OH, SING IT HIGH, SING IT LOW.
LET THEM KNOW, THE WICKED WIZARD'S DEAD!
Belle stepped forward, though all the midgets were behind her. We welcome you to Midgetville, TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAA! TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAA- AHHH!! A large puff of orange smoke filled the air, and all the midgets screamed and fell to the ground. Some even took to hiding.
Harry made out the form of a large Wizard standing in the orange mist. Voldemort!
Who killed him? I demand to know at once! he shouted angrily.
Calm down, and aren't you forgetting something? Harry was shocked at how easily Hermione, er, could speak to the Dark Lord. Then he remembered: he wasn't in Hogwarts anymore.
he said quietly, where are we?
Why, we're in Midgetville, in the County of Latinland! she replied pridefully.
Harry nodded vaguely and looked back at Voldemort. So who's that supposed to be?
That's the Wicked Wizard of the West, and you just killed his brother.
Voldemort was inspecting Snape's body. Finally his eyes lit up with excitement. The Ruby Sneakers, he mused, and reached his eager fingers towards them. Just before he could reach them, they disappeared and Snape's feet flattened and coiled up.
Looking for these? asked, pointing at Harry's feet. Harry looked down and was awestruck to find that on his feet were Ruby Sneakers. Harry, you must never take them off. Their magic must be strong if he wants them, she cast a glance at Voldemort.
I'll get those Sneakers if it's the last thing I do. I'll get you, my pretty, and your little cat too! he sneered before disappearing in another puff of orange smoke.
Hermione, or coughed. You'd think he'd upgrade to something that caused less pollution.
Harry looked at her. Why did he call me pretty? Anyway, I have to get back to Hogwarts and Wendy. She must be worried sick about me.
Then you must go see the Wizard! Shouts of aggreement could be heard among the midgets.
The Wizard?
said, The Wizard of Latinland. He's a great Wizard, he's not Wicked. You can find him in Hogsmeade City.
How do I get there?
Just follow the Yellow Brick Road!
Follow the Yellow Brick Road?
Follow the Yellow Brick Road!
Follow the Yellow Brick Road... Follow the Yellow Brick Road...
Out of nowhere, music could be heard. Harry looked around but found no band or orchestra. The Midgets broke out in singing again:
Follow the yellow brick road,
Follow the yellow brick road
Follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow the yellow-brick road
Follow the yellow-brick, follow the yellow-brick
Follow the yellow-brick road!
As Harry walked along the Yellow Brick Road, he suddenly felt the urge to skip. He began to, and it was as if his feet were a separate person just carrying his body along.
You're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
You'll find he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was.
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does.
You're off the see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
He waved good-bye to Hermione and the rest of the midgets and continued to skip on. He wished he could stop skipping, but his feet wouldn't quit. Finally, when the vibrant colors of Midgetville were out of sight, his feet became his own and he walked along the road. Soon he found himself by a cornfield with a familiar, happy, scarecrow setting up in the midst of it. He looked around.
Oh, no, he said to Crookshanks, it's a fork. I wonder which way to go.
Some people go this way. Harry looked around, but he found no one. Who did the voice belong to? Surely not Crookshanks. He found the scarecrow pointing in one direction. Why did that scarecrow look so familiar? And some people go this way. He looked around again, but found no one. Looking back at the scarecrow, he found it was pointing in the other direction. Perhaps it was a scarecrow with a charm put on it.
he said aloud. A huge realization dawned on him. He knew the scarecrow looked familiar. The red hair, er, straw, the freckled face, the long thin body. He ran over to the scarecrow. Ron, what are you doing here?
Of course, some people like to go both ways. What? Ron? No, I don't think my name is Ron. Wait, do I have a name? Hm, don't rightly know.
Can I call you Ron? It's a lot easier than Scarecrow (and a lot easier to type...), Harry asked.
I suppose. Say, could you help me down from here? That's good. Try lifting that post in the back and – Ron fell to the ground with a plop, some of his stuffing falling out.
Ron! Are you okay?
He sat up eagerly. Did I scare you? Well, did I?
Harry furrowed his brow.
A state of depression occupied his face. I can't even scare a crow. It's just not fair. All my brothers were some of the best scarecrows this farm ever saw. And then there's me. Oh, if I only had a brain.
Harry helped him to his feet. He swaggered. Hey, why don't you come with me? I'm going to see the Wizard in Hogsmeade City. Surely if he can send me back to Hogwarts then he can give you a brain.
You think so?
It wouldn't hurt to try. Why, are you afraid?
No, sir! I'm not afraid of anything, he looked side to side then leaned closer to Harry, except a little fire. You know, I'm flammable.
Harry nodded. Suddenly the sensation to sing and dance came over his body. He heard music again and he looked around for its source. He saw nothing.
We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was.
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does.
We're off the see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
Both Harry and Ron sang and skipped their way further along the road. Harry soon found himself to be very hungry. Ron spotted a few apple trees off in the distance, and seeing as scarecrows don't eat anything, he helped Harry pick some apples. Harry ran up to a tree and ripped off an apple. Just before he took a bite, something slapped his arm.
Ow! All right, what was that?
Oh, I know you weren' eatin mah apples!
Who said that? Ow! Stop hitting me. Harry soon found a face staring at him. It was the tree. Whoa –
How'd you lak it if I ripped off yo' fingers n ate em as a snack?
Great. Not only was it a talking tree, but a talking Ghetto tree. Meanwhile, a plan began to form in his head. You know what? I just ate one of your apples and it was nasty and mealy.
Nuh-uh, noo way! There ain't no nasty apples on mah branches! Where'd you git them apples, boy?
I got them from yo' momma! Harry cried with all his might, prepared to sprint away at a moments notice. A loud was heard from the surrounding trees.
Don' you go talkin' bout mah momma! said the tree. This was Harry's moment; as he began to run away the tree began chucking apples in Harry and Ron's direction. The plan was a success! They got the apples and got away from the Ghetto trees. Harry fell onto the ground to retrieve more apples when he came across an odd metal lump. He looked up and found himself below a man made of tin.
Hey, Ron, come here, he called. Look at this.
Why, it's Tin Man! said Ron.
Thanks, Captain Obvious. Sh – he's saying something.
Cufy cain, the Tin Man said. Ron studied the words with all his might, but Harry was more concerned with the Man's features.
he shouted in realization.
Cufy cain, he said again.
Harry looked around. Trees, trees, tree stump, Ron, a pot of coffee, apples, trees. Pot of coffee? He's saying coffee can, Ron! Hand it here. Ron lazily picked up the pot and handed it to Harry, who poured some into Sirius's mouth.
Mmmm, thanks! said Sirius when Harry was done. Boy, that felt good. More please! Harry poured more coffee into Sirius's mouth, each of his limbs becoming unrusted with more coffee. I sure do like that caffeiney rush.
How long have you been like this? Ron asked, dusting Sirius off.
Oh, about a year now. I was chopping down that tree when it rained and I rusted solid. No one was around to give me coffee. It unrusts me, he added with a smile.
Well, now you're good as new! Ron exclaimed.
No, not quite. See, I was made without a heart. I'm just plain old Tin Man. He sighed. If I only had a heart.
Siriu – I mean Tin Man, would you like to come to Hogsmeade City with us and see the Wizard of Latinland? Maybe he'd give you a heart, Ron a brain, and me a way back to Hogwarts.
I'd like that very much.
They all headed onto the road when they heard a cackle from the top of a nearby house. Scared of a little fire, Scarecrow? It was Voldemort. Soon a great ball of fire was shooting towards them and landed at Ron's feet. Ron began jumping away at the licking flames, and Sirius bent over and put out the flames with his metal, funnel-shaped hat. Voldemort laughed evilly. I'll get you my pretty... he said before disappearing.
I'm not a afraid of him, Ron said defiantly.
Why does he keep calling me pretty? Anyway, let's go guys, we can't waste any time. The urge to sing and dance came over Harry again, and the mysterious music started to play.
We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was.
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does.
We're off the see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
The threesome quickly found that the Yellow Brick Road led them deep into the heart of a dark forest. Many animals' sounds could be heard from all around.
This is kind of scary, said Ron. But I wouldn't know any better. I don't have a brain!
said Harry. I hear something up there. Harry squinted his eyes into the distance. It's lion. He gazed curiously at it. It looked oddly familiar. However, it's antics were quite unusual for a lion. It was sitting in such a way under the safety of a tree that said that it was also frightened of it's surroundings.
Harry felt something brush past his leg. Crookshanks, no! It was too late; the cat had pranced itself towards the lion. It growled angrily at it.
Get away! Harry was shocked to hear that this lion was a female. Then he realized: it was Ginny. Grrr... I'll bite you! Ginny and Crookshanks began to chase each other around the tree until Crookshanks took a swipe at Ginny's tail. She stopped and broke into tears. Harry ran forward and scooped Crookshanks into his arms. Sirius and Ron followed. M-My p-poor tail! Ginny wailed, not seeing Harry, Ron, or Sirius.
It's okay. You didn't even get bitten, said Ron.
What are you doing here? Get away! This is my forest, Ginny announced. Come on, put up your dukes and fight me. She put up her and Ron stepped forward. He flicked her ear, and she broke down in tears again. What'd you have to d-do that for? I-If I only had the nerve.
Why, she's nothing but a cowardly lioness, whispered Sirius to Harry.
Harry stepped forward to Ginny. Gin – I mean, Lioness, would you like to go see the Wizard of Latinland with us? We're going to see if he'll give me a way home, Ron a brain, and Tin Man a heart. Maybe he'd give you some courage.
Ginny the Lioness blushed and turned sideways from Harry. Me go with you? Oh, I... I'd love to.
Harry smiled.
Sirius leaned over to Harry. I think she is crushing on you. Harry elbowed him.
Let's go, he said, once again hearing the music out of nowhere and feeling the urge to dance and sing.
We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does
We're off the see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!
They skipped along the road for a while until they came to a field of Mandrakes. shouted Ron. We can see Hogsmeade City! Isn't it beautiful?
Um, sure, said Harry, stepping into the Mandrake field. Whoa, I feel, so tired. Guys, I need to... rest.
But we're almost there, Harry, said Sirius. Just a few steps further.
I'm just going to take a... short break, he said, laying down next to an already curled up Crookshanks. He fell asleep almost instantly.
Ginny yawned. I feel sleepy too. Maybe I'll just curl up next to Harry... she fell over at Harry's side asleep.
Not you too, Lioness! Ron shouted. Sirius started to cry. No, don't cry, Tin Man, you'll rust yourself. HELP! he cried. Suddenly it began to snow, and the others woke up to find themselves covered in a soft blanket.
What happened? Harry asked, sitting up to find a scared Ginny clinging to his arm.
You fell asleep. But we're all awake now, we just need to give Tin Man here some coffee. Sirius soon became unrusted, and they began to run towards the Hogsmeade City. Harry hesitated when he heard more music and singing coming out of nowhere, but quickly continued on.
You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night
Step into the sun, step into the light
Keep straight ahead
For the most glorious place
On the Face of the Earth
Or the sky
Hold onto your breath
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your hope
March up to the gate
And bid it open...
OPEN...
They quickly walked up to the door and rang the bell. A smaller door opened and a head popped out. Can't you all read? he asked in an angry voice. It was Remus Lupin.
Read what? Harry asked.
The sign! he replied.
What sign? they all asked.
The sign that says – Oh. They took it down for cleaning. Just a minute. His head disappeared for a moment, and then reappeared with a sign. He set it under the smaller door. Damn werewolves like to get at it, he said before closing the door, causing Harry to laugh to himself.
He then read the sign. Bell out of order. Please knock.' He looked at the others, and then used the oversized knocker.
The small door popped open once again and Remus's head popped out. That's better. Yes?
We want to see the Wizard, said Harry.
Oh, I'm sorry, but no one is allowed to see the Wizard. Have a nice day! He was just closing the door when Harry shouted:
Wait! You have to let us in! We came all the way from Midgetville. Glinda the Good Witch of the North sent us. Harry countered.
And Harry had the Ruby Sneakers, Ron added.
Remus's eyes widened. Why didn't you say so! That's a horse of a different color. Come on in. The real door swung open and Harry and the others walked in. They were greeted by many smiling faces and more singing voices. They were quickly ushered into a sort of makeover.
Meanwhile...
Damn those Good Witches! Foiling my poisoned Mandrakes. I'll still get those Sneakers, Voldemort moved away from his large crystal ball and grabbed his broom. I'm off to Hogsmeade City.
Harry walked out of the room to greet his friends with a new haircut and freshly-pressed overalls. Hey guys. Jolly good town this is. Whoa, what's that up in the sky?
They all looked up to find a written in the sky. Ginny asked. Who's surr?
It's the Wicked Wizard, the Tin Man announced. The other people of Hogsmeade City looked up too and were becoming frantic. Look, it says Surrender Harry.'
The Wizard will know what to do! shouted one of the villagers. They all stormed the door to the Wizard.
Hold on, everyone, calm down! a man dressed in all green shouted. He stood in front of the door. The Wizard, uh, knows what to do, so, um, just keep calm and go back about your business.
The people slowly filed away, but were still talking amongst themselves. Harry stepped up to the man in front of the door. Please, we need to see the Wizard.
I already told you, the Wizard's taken care of everything –
But he's Harry, said Ron.
Harry? As in Surrender Harry?' They all nodded. Well, that is quite a case. I'll go confirm with the Wizard. He disappeared behind the green door and left Harry alone with the others.
The random music from nowhere began to play again, yet Harry felt no urge to sing. You guys hear that? he asked.
Yeah. I think I'm supposed to be singing, said Ginny. But I'm afraid of embarrassing myself. The music soon died off and the man came back from behind the door.
The Wizard will not see you. Come back tomorrow and maybe he'll help you. He turned away.
Harry asked with a hint of failure in his voice. But I need to get back to Hogwarts. I must really be worrying Wendy by now. I mean, I was in so much trouble when I wandered around the school without her. She's going to be pissed at me for going to a foreign land without her.
And I was supposed to get a brain, Ron sighed.
And I, a heart.
And I, courage. All of them sat down on the steps in disbelief.
The man dressed in green walked back up to them. I just heard, and I'm so sorry. Come on, come and see the Wizard. He disappeared behind the door quickly. The others stood up and looked at each other, all too happy to question the man's change of mind.
Arm in arm, they all walked through the doors and to the end of the hallway. They found themselves in a great room. Ginny was cowering behind Harry.
I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF LATINLAND. STEP FORWARD AND STATE YOUR NAME.
A large head appeared amidst many colored lights and flames. It was a face that was strange and unusual to Harry; one he hadn't recognized. He stepped forward. Harry Potter. I want to go home to Hogwarts. Ron wants a brain, Tin Man wants a –
I KNOW WHY YOU ARE HERE. AND I KNOW WHY YOUR FRIENDS ARE HERE.
HOW? BECAUSE... I'M THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD! THAT'S HOW.
So can you help us? Harry asked.
I CAN ONLY HELP YOU IF YOU BRING ME THE BROOM OF THE WICKED WIZARD. BRING ME THE BROOM, AND YOUR WISHES WILL COME TRUE.
His broom? The Wizard's broom? asked Ginny fearfully. I – I – I don't know, guys. It – seems too – too – too dangerous.
Let's go, I need to get back to Wendy.
All of them began walking back except for Ginny. Ron and Sirius looked at each other before walking back and picking her up. They carried her out to Hogsmeade City where they got some weapons that they may need (it was then when Harry realized he didn't have his wand), and they carried her all the way to the spooky forest.
This reminds me very much of the Forbidden Forest, said Harry, holding his baseball bat close.
Sirius and Ron finally set Ginny down. Are you sure this is the right way? Ron asked, getting better hold of his rifle.
The sign said it was this way, replied Sirius, holding a large mallet.
I think we should turn back, said Ginny, clinging onto her net with all her strength.
Oh no you don't, said Ron, holding her back.
said Harry, do you hear that? They all paused and listened. What they heard was rather unusual. Harry looked up into the sky. It's the Slytherins!
The form of hundreds of familiar students were flying at him, Draco Malfoy in the lead.
What are you talking about, Harry? asked Ron. That's a bunch of Flying Monkeys!
Harry furrowed his brow and looked back at the sky. In midair the Slytherins transformed into Flying Monkeys. shouted Harry as one swooped down at grasped him firmly by the shoulders. He struggled against the monkeys, but their strength won out. He was soon dropped off, along with Crookshanks, inside a room of a castle. They tied him down on a chair.
A cackling laugh could be heard. Give me your Sneakers, my pretty! Voldemort shouted, his fingers twitching in excitement. Or you'll never seen your precious cat again.
Uh-oh, Harry thought. Hermione – the real one – would kill him if anything happened to Crookshanks. But then again, the Hermione told him never to take off his Sneakers. First of all, stop calling my pretty. Second of all, you'll never get my Sneakers.
Fine then, have it your way. Wormtail! One of the Flying Monkeys hopped forward and took hold of a wriggling Crookshanks.
Harry yelled. Real Hermione had won. Take the Sneakers. See if I care. Just leave Crookshanks alone.
Voldemort grinned from ear to ear. Stepping closer to Harry with outstretched fingers, he reached for the Sneakers. A zap of yellow light shot out at him. he shouted in pain. Harry was flabbergasted. The Ruby Sneakers were that powerful? Wormtail! Dispose of that creature! We'll get those Sneakers. The only other way I know of involves killing the person wearing them, but these things must be done delicately... In the meantime, the cat, Wormtail.
Crookshanks continued to violently shake his body until Wormtail couldn't hold him down anymore, and he escaped out the window.
Run, Crookshanks, run! Harry shouted with triumph.
Voldemort turned angrily to face Harry. We'll see how long you last here! He picked up a large hourglass, and Harry thought it was an industrial strength Time-Turner. It's set for an hour. When the time is up, I shall kill you!
Voldemort and Wormtail slammed the door shut and Harry was left alone in the room with the giant hourglass.
It had been nearly an hour's time before Harry heard a knock at the door. he heard. Harry, it's us, are you in there?
Harry lifted his head. Yeah! Hurry up and get me out, guys. How did you find me?
He heard a loud thumping noise on the door, then another, and then the door busted open. Hurry, they're probably coming, said Ron. Oh, sorry, Crookshanks led us here. Harry's eyes widened as they untied him from the chair. Crookshanks, eh? He found a new respect for his friend's pet cat. Okay, let's go.
They all ran down the stairs to find an army of the Wizard's blue men. They couldn't get away without them attacking. With quick thinking, Ron grabbed Sirius's axe and chopped down a nearby rope that held a chandelier. It fell onto the army and gave them a few extra seconds ahead of the army. They soon found themselves trapped again, this time an army on both sides of them, armed with sharp spears.
Voldemort stepped out from behind them. How about a little fire, Scarecrow? The end of his broom caught fire and he moved the flaming straws towards Ron. Harry looked around. A water bucket! He lifted it and tossed it in the air at the fire, putting out the flames as well as soaking the Dark Lord.
No! I'm melting... melting... MELTING! Ahhhh, melting, AHHH... His body shrank down into the ground until all that remained was a pointy hat and a pile of black robes.
You killed him, said one of the blue army men.
Well, I didn't mean to. This was the second time today that Harry had killed a Wizard and not meant to. Did he really kill Voldemort with just water? He wondered if the real Voldemort would melt if you threw water at him.
Hail Harry! The Wicked Wizard's dead!
Hail Harry! the whole army shouted joyously.
May we have her broom? Ginny asked timidly.
Absolutely. Hail Harry! He handed the broom to Harry, and Harry gripped it firmly. He smiled at his friends.
Before they knew it, they were once again standing in front of the great and powerful Wizard of Latinland.
WHY HAVE YOU RETURNED? the Wizard demanded.
We've brought you the Wicked Wizard of the West's broom, replied Harry.
Harry killed him! Ron grinned.
YOU HAVE? I MEAN, SO YOU HAVE. COME BACK TOMORROW AND PERHAPS THE GREAT WIZARD WILL HELP YOU THEN.
Tomorrow? But we did what you asked... Harry continued to argue his case. As he did so, Crookshanks had taken a liking to a nearby curtain. He dug his claws in its satiny material and pulled. By doing this, he pulled the curtain away to reveal a woman working away at a large machine with a microphone and many cranks and buttons. Sirius poked Ron and Ginny and pointed out the woman. They stopped Harry and directed his attention to her, too. Harry had the feeling she was very familiar.
UH, PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE WOMAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN. SHE IS MY... ASSISTANT. NOW GO AWAY!
Harry walked over to the woman and tapped her shoulder. She turned to face him, and Harry found himself facing Professor McGonagall. She turned the machine off. What are you doing here? Harry asked.
McGonagall bit her lip. I am the real Wizard of Latinland. Or more Witch of Latinland.
The other three in the room were in shock. What? How can this be? they asked each other.
I came here, and the people just called me a Witch, and I've been here ever since. I'm not a real Witch, at least, I don't think I am.
Can you still help us with our problems? Harry asked. She had to help them. He'd never known McGonagall to not help him in need.
She paused in thought for a moment. I just might. Follow me. She led them to a closet where she pulled out a black bag and shuffled through it. Here it is. Scarecrow: you've asked for a brain. Now, where I come from there are many universities and other places of learning. Some people go in and come out without becoming any smarter. But they still have something you don't have: a diploma. So here is a certified diploma with your name on it. She handed the scroll to Ron.
A squared plus B squared equals C squared, said Ron, surprising everyone and himself with new found knowledge. Haha! I'm smart.
And Tin Man, continued the Witch of Latinland, you've asked for a heart. I cannot give you a real heart because, well, you're tin. But I can give you this. She pulled out a heart attached to a chain. A clock was ticking in the center of it. You could set your heart by it.
Tears welled in his eyes as he took hold of it. Thank you, I love it. Hear that, guys! I LOVE it.
McGonagall smiled. Lioness, you've asked for courage. There are many cowards in the world that do many brave acts. And they have almost no more than you. But they do have this, she lifted a bronze metal with the word courage' written on the front. I award you the Metal of Courage. You shall be the Queen of the Forest with this.
They'll all cower from me now! Ginny squealed with delight. Look, Harry, I'm brave!
Harry smiled at Ginny then looked back at McGonagall. I don't think there's anything in that bag that can help me.
she replied, frowning. But I think I know a way for you to leave. We can use the way I got here, only in reverse. See, I came here in a hot-air balloon.
That's brilliant!
Come on, times a'wasting! said Ron.
Soon Harry, McGonagall, and Crookshanks were all in the balloon. Ron, Sirius, and Ginny helped to hold down the ropes. A large crowd of Hogsmeade City townspersons surrounded the balloon in wonder. McGonagall held up her hand for silence. As Wizard of Latinland, if I do not return, Ron the Scarecrow is to be appointed the new Wizard, with assistance from the Tin Man and Lioness. She turned to Harry. Hurry and say your good byes.
Harry stepped towards his friends. Thanks, guys, for everything. I couldn't have gotten here without you. I'm going to miss you, I think. Lioness, thanks for your bravery.
We'll keep everything in order while your gone, Harry, she said confidently.
Tin Man, thanks for your endurance.
We'll miss you, Harry, we really will.
Don't cry, you'll rust yourself. Here's your coffee pot. And Ron, thanks for your quick thinking.
I will never forget you, Harry. I can't forget... I have a brain!
Harry chuckled. Say good bye, Crookshanks. Crookshanks! The large cat began to squirm in Harry's arms. Quickly he jumped out of the balloon and into the crowd. Harry leapt out of the balloon and into the crowd, but the others had managed to let go of the ropes as he did so. Harry shouted up at McGonagall. Wait for me.
It's too late, Harry, I'm sorry I couldn't help... McGonagall shouted, her voice trailing away as she rose into the air.
Harry caught up to Crookshanks and scooped him into his arms. Great, now I'll never get back to Hogwarts.
Ron put his hand on Harry's shoulder. It's okay, Harry, now you can stay with us.
Yeah, I mean, we feel like we've known you for years, added Sirius.
Kind of funny how that works out, Harry said, scratching his nose. Suddenly a familiar pink bubble came floating towards them. It grew and expanded into Hermione, or rather Glinda, Good Witch of the North. Ron leaned towards Harry. Dang, that witch is hot.
Harry elbowed him. Glinda, can you help me get home? he asked curiously.
Why, Harry, you've had the power to go back this whole time.
I have?
He has? Ron, Sirius, and Ginny all asked.
Yes. Harry, the Ruby Sneakers.
What about them?
All you need to do is click them three times and say There's no place like Hogwarts.' Go on, say it.
Harry shrugged his shoulders and held Crookshanks tightly to him. As he clicked his Ruby Sneakers three times, he said, There's no place like Hogwarts, there's no place like Hogwarts, there's no place like Hogwarts...
There's... no place... like...
Harry, wake up now.
... Hogwarts... Wendy?
Good Harry, you're awake.
I had this weird dream –
That's great, Harry, but –
And you were in it, he pointed at Wendy and sat up. And you, and you, and you, he added, pointing at Remus, Belle, and Sirius. And Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Snape...
Harry –
... and Voldemort, and McGonagall, and the other students, and at first I was in Midgetville, but...
Harry –
... Then I was in Latinland.
Told you it existed, mumbled Sirius stubbornly.
And I killed the Wicked Wizards of the East and West, but they were really Snape and Voldemort, and –
Dumbledore wants to see you.
A/N: That was fun. And long. I want to throw in a dedication to Emma. Thanks for all the random objects when I asked for them! Luv ya so much.
Until chapter 17.
~Whitelighter Enchantress