Chapter 18: A Very Drunken, Canadian, Fishy, Twilight, Russian, Hallucinative, Cliff Hanging Chapter
Disclaimer: I do not own Canada or anything Harry Potter. I don't own Finding Nemo or The Twilight Zone either. And I stole a line from Friends. 5 points to you if you can find it.
When Wendy, Remus, and Belle returned that night, they found the house dark and full of sleeping people. Belle was already asleep in Remus's arms after having a long day. Wendy and Remus were exhausted as well, surprised to find a rambunctious Cati Nuperson greet them at the theme park. But at any rate, all were in a hurry to get to bed.
As Remus put Belle to bed, Wendy got a craving and headed to the kitchen. Her sleepiness had been overpowered by her sudden and random hunger, which growled away at her stomach. What did it crave? she hummed gently, finally grabbing a bag of marshmallows and the almost empty bottle of ketchup.
Midnight snack? Remus's voice echoed from the door.
Guilty as charged. Want some?
God no! he exclaimed quietly, however took a seat next to Wendy at the kitchen table. Listen, I think there's something strange going on. At Disney World, I couldn't help but have the feeling I was followed.
Well, Cati did stalk you for a while before she scared you on the Dumbo ride.
No, that's not what I mean. Or maybe it is... I'm not sure. Perhaps it was only Cati. He relieved himself of a heavy sigh and took a marshmallow from the bag, steering clear of the ketchup. These are a little old, Wendy, he added as he found their staleness.
Sorry, I haven't gone shopping in ages, she blushed, though difficult to see under the darkness. I should do that tomorrow... We're almost out of ketchup, too.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, nibbling away at the marshmallows and ketchup when the kitchen door sung open with a quiet squeak. Do you have any idea what time it is? a tired Sirius asked.
Oh, sorry, I didn't think we woke anybody.
You didn't, I was just waiting up for you. So really, what time is it?
Sometime after midnight, I believe. Have some marshmallows!
No thanks, Sirius replied, I'm in the mood for... some wine. Yes, wine. He opened the cupboard over the stove and pulled out an unopened bottle. Ah, this seems perfect. Quickly, he popped off the cork and set it into the sink to breathe for a while. Remus, would you like a glass?
Sorry, Wendy, no alcohol for you.
Thanks dear, but I'm fine with my ketchup.
A short while later...
Another glass, Remurserus?
Uh, guys, don't you think you've had enough? a very sober Wendy asked.
Dammerit, Wendy, I'll tell you when I've had enoughage! Sirius replied, followed by a hiccup.
I'll take another glass! a rosy cheeked Fred said. Or George. Well, it didn't really matter, since Sirius was drunk. Fred or George had joined them downstairs maybe ten minutes ago (it's hard to keep track of time when you're drunk).
Let's play Twister! the other Fred or George shouted.
Oh my God I'm seeing double! said Remus.
No, that's just Forge. They're always like thatems.
Soon the twister board was ripped out of the hall closet and slowly spread across the kitchen floor. When they discovered that it hurt to fall on linoleum, which they quite rapidly discovered, they moved into the softly carpeted living room. Wendy was dubbed the spinner (or as Sirius put it the ) and curled up on the couch, still dipping her marshmallows in ketchup. Okay, guys, right foot green.
I'll right foot your ass green! George, or Fred, slurred.
Of course you will, dear. Now, Sirius, do you know what's left and right? Sirius seemed to be caught in a fit of giggles, staring back and forth at his left foot to his right foot and laughing harder with each glance. Never you mind, dear. Left hand red.
I'll left hand your ass red! one of the twins shouted again.
The game continued on a while like this, with Sirius giggling maniacally, one of the twins shouting the body part ass color' line, and Remus looking in deep concentration as he stumbled from place to place. Wendy was sure that one of the kids had woken up by now and come downstairs to find several drunken adults. She sighed. Oh well. Right hand, blue.
I'll right hand.... Let's go to Canada!
Whoa, whoa, Wendy interrupted. I'm not so sure Canada is the best place for you right now.
Come on, Wendery, puh-lease? Remus asked, taking Sirius's messed up words.
Then let me tell someone so they don't freak out when we're not here. I'll be right back. Try not to do anything stupid. Quite reluctantly, she left the drunks alone in the living room and headed out to the foyer and up the stairs. She passed Belle's room, Ginny and Hermione's room, and lastly arrived at Harry's and Ron's. She quietly opened the door and stepped inside. Harry groaned as the escaped light from the hallway crossed his eyes. Harry, we'll be in Canada. Keep an eye on Belle for me.
Wendy nodded and crept back into the hallway, shutting the door tightly behind her. When she returned back the living room, she found the room covered in water, as they had decided the Twister mat would make a good Slip n Slide. She rolled her eyes. Are we going to Canada or not?
Sirius shouted, apparently out of his giggling fit with his newly refreshed shot glass. Somehow, all the men managed to find their way to Wendy for orbing. With a sigh, she orbed them all to a Duty Free just outside the the United States Borders. She let them go crazy in the store, allowing them all to buy more alcohol. Why? Because Wendy knows that not much is going to happen in this chapter and we all know drunk people are funny.
Soon after, she orbed them to a small island, still in Canada, but somewhere among other islands in Lake Huron. She took in a deep breath of fresh air; cool and crisp on her lungs. This was one of her favorite places in the world, by far. Countless times, she had come here simply to clear her head or just take some time to herself to think. Though quite chilly at this time of the year, the sight was just as beautiful. The mountains that rose from the mainland stood green and mighty under the bright sun and clear blue sky; the waves crashed the rock of an island with their curled white tips; the many pine trees swayed with every lake breeze, rolling any leftover uneaten blueberries to the vast part of the island. In winter, the lake was perfect for ice-skating and building snowmen. In spring, color and life returned to the surrounding lands, and in summer, the wild blueberries from the center of the island were ripe and full, and with any luck, some wild raspberries could be found. The weather was always warm in the summer, and the water was the perfect temperature. She heaved a gentle sigh, and was glad to return to her favorite place, only to be disturbed when Remus threw up, nearly on her new shoes.
Dammit, Remus! she shouted angrily. Watch where you're puking. Go do it in the lake!
Ah, yes, Rocky Pinecone Island was such a happy place.
Why are we here, Wendeedee? Sirius swaggered up to his wife. It's cold!
Because Canada is a great place to be drunk, my dear, and you can freely puke in the lake.
He swayed gently with the wind. NAKED SWIM!
Oh no... Wendy tried to hold Sirius back, but soon his clothes were stripped and he was galloping nude towards the lake. Once he reached the wet rocks, he mostly slipped and fell into the water.
Cold! Cold! he screamed like a girl, but quickly adjusted.
At the sight of seeing their drunken friend splash around gleefully, the others stumbled towards him, Fred or George with a beer bottle still in their hand, and stripped off their clothes and joined him in the water.
What have I gotten myself into? Wendy asked herself, rolling her eyes as she saw her husband pause for a moment, puke, and then rejoin in the splashing festivities. None of them seemed to realize they were naked. She sighed. They didn't seem to be causing any trouble, and it looked like they would stay puking and splashing for a long time, and she doubted they would drift away, she decided she could take a nap. After all, it was rather late back in England.
Meanwhile, back in England...
Dammit, Wendy, wake me up at the butt crack of dawn, Harry mumbled, heading downstairs. He had managed to stay in bed for a few minutes longer after the racket from downstairs had died down. Only then did he realize what Wendy had said to him.
He entered the living room, confused to find a wet Twister mat, many bottles of wine and beer, and a plate with one marshmallow and a ton of ketchup. Hey, those were my marshmallows!
He turned. Oh, Belle, it's you. You should go back to sleep.
Where's my dad? I had a bad dream.
Um, he's in Canada right now. He felt it best if he didn't mention the drunken state of her father. However, Belle stared at him with her lip quivering. Was it a premonition? he asked, walking closer to her and picking her up. She just looked so young and helpless, and he just had to carry her back to bed.
I don't think so. It had my parents in it. Her voice was barely above a whisper now.
Oh. I have those dreams sometimes too. After three flights of stairs, he reached the floor where Remus' and Belle's bedrooms were. He opened the door on the left and set her down in her bed. Like I'll see my parents, and I'll be coming closer and closer to them, but there are all these obstacles and people in my way. So I start yelling at them, and look back at my parents but they've disappeared. Then an octopus attaches itself to my arm, but never you mind that.
Mine's sort of like that, she said, snuggling into her pillow. But this time my dad was there. I mean my now dad. And... Well it's hard to explain.
Are you okay?
Yeah, it just scared me, I'll be... fine. Slowly she drifted off, and Harry tucked her back in under her blankets and headed downstairs to clean up the messy living room.
Meanwhile, back on Rocky Pinecone Island, Canada...
Wendy awoke to the sound of silence. Silence? Uh oh... She sat up quickly. No one was in the water anymore! She arose to her feet. And looked all around her. Where were they? They couldn't possibly have swam off, they were all too drunk for that. Crap, now I have to look for them.
She started by wandering around the southern side of the island, heading eastern. She crossed through the ditch of the scratchy sticks when she heard rumbling behind the trees to her left. Poking her head through, she found Remus sleeping in the blueberry patches. She bent over, gently shaking his shoulder. Remus, wake up, time to go back home now.
he groaned. Head hurts.
She found a lonesome, ripe blueberry and popped it into her mouth. Oh, don't make me heal you.
Heal.... head.
You know how I feel about healing people when they're drunk.
SH! Noise... hurts.
she whispered sharply. I'll come back for you. She stormed back past the trees and continued on her journey around the island. It wasn't long before she found Sirius puking his guts out. Sirius, this is my favorite spot on the whole island and you choose to puke here?
He replied with vomit.
Thanks, really. Guess I'm coming back for you too. She rolled her eyes at him and kept venturing along the edge or the rocks. She climbed up a large rock hill, only to find still drinking Fred and George.
What do you think, Fishman? Fred/George asked, pointing a stick at Wendy.
I'm not sure, Anchorboy, let's interrogate. The other Fred/George took the stick and waved it maniacally in front of Wendy. The lucky scepter says she's good.
Excellent. To the fish cave! They scurried off to a small triangular divot it the rock and set the Lucky Scepter in it. They removed more beer from the bottom of the and began to drink.
Okay, definitely time to go. She couldn't take it anymore. Damn that Canadian air! She grabbed hold of each of their shoulders, orbed them to Sirius (who seemed to have stopped puking), grabbed him, and orbed to Remus. He seemed to be awake and drinking again. How do you do that? she asked, before hearing a voice in her head. Wendy!' it called. It was Dumbledore, and it sounded urgent. Stand up! she yelled at Remus before orbing them all to Hogwarts.
Hey, it's Dumbledore! Fred/George shouted.
I didn't know Hogwarts was in Canada! the other Fred/George shouted. Wait, where'd the lucky scepter go?
To the fish cave!
They didn't seem to realize the fish cave was thousands of miles away. They ran away down the stairs and into the depths of Hogwarts castle. Sirius and Remus, upon hearing to the fish cave' thought they should follow suit and also hurried down the stairs.
Don't follow them, Dumbledore ordered. We'll find them later.
What did you call me here for? she asked
I have a concern...
What is it?
When Belle was adopted, the agency required Remus to provide a phone number to reach him, so the Muggle Studies professor and I hooked up a telephone and answering machine for him. They never called and only contacted through letters, but recently there was a message left for him.
Well, what about?
He looked deep into Wendy's eyes. They didn't say, just for him to call them back. Normally I wouldn't be this concerned, but considering her powerful background and hopeful future, I can't seem to not worry.
We can wait for them to call back. If it's anything serious, they will. But I'm not sure this is anything big, Professor.
Perhaps it's not –
But then again, you are the great Albus Dumbledore, and I should listen to you because of that. She sighed. This is giving me a migraine. I'm not sure what to think about this right now. I'll just take your expect the unexpected' to heart.
Very well.
Anything else while I'm here?
Just to find the others. Good luck.
she whispered, leaving his office. She shook her head to herself. What's been up with Dumbledore lately? she wondered. He's worried about Belle all the time now. I don't understand...
she called down an empty hallway, and he didn't appear out of anywhere. Great, this is just great. She decided to keep wandering through the dark castle. How long was the nap she took in Canada? Not long enough, apparently, since she felt rather sleepy. Soon she discovered herself in the dungeons, and she turned sharply to the left. In the hallway, the walls were lined with floating palm trees. Near the end of it, Sirius stood with his wand making more palm trees appear. He held a coconut cup with a pink straw and green umbrella sticking out of it. Sirius, what on earth are you doing? she hissed at him as she approached. You know Snape's chambers are down here!
That's the point exactly, my dear lady, he said, much less drunk than earlier. The puking must have helped him. He turned and smiled at her, and she saw a black patch that covered his eye and a fake parrot sitting on his shoulder. He held the coconut cup out to her.
She laughed in disgust. You're such a jackass.
Arg! That's Captain Jackass to you! A pirate hat appeared on his head as he pointed his wand up.
That's it! She grabbed the drink from his hand, orbed to the middle of the Yukon, tossed it into a snow bank and orbed back. Damn that's cold... No more drinking for you, mister.
I said no!
He crossed his arms stubbornly. Fine, then I would like to go home and throw up in the courtesy of my own bathroom, thank you very much.
As you wish, Captain Jackass.
Just as soon as I leave a little surprise for ol' Snapey-poo.
She let him puke in the center of the hallway, then orbed him home and back to the castle. After a while of more wandering, she headed to the kitchen where she found Fred and George. They both had pickles up their noses and they were scaring the poor house elves. Come on, guys, it's time to go home, and NO MORE DRINKING. And after she helped herself to some fish sticks and peanut butter, she orbed them home and came back. She spent another twenty minutes looking for Remus, but couldn't find him. She figured he must be okay, though, because it was Hogwarts, their home away from home.
She had found him puking outside her chambers very early in the morning. Excuse me, sir? she had asked, poking her head out of her door. Are you all right?
The man woozily lifted his head. I drank too much, he whispered before leaning over and starting up again.
When he finished that round, she rushed him inside to her bathroom. Finally, he slumped his body against the wall, breathing heavily. Uh, thanks, he told her. I'd tell you my name, but my head hurts too much to remember.
I understand. He had gazed at her curiously as she leaned casually against the open doorway, her dark hair spreading down just above her elbows in think waves. Her matching dark eyes shone mysteriously in her candlelit chambers. And I think I have just the thing to help you. Soon she had turned around the corner, her long hair swooshing behind her, and returned minutes later with a silver flask in her hand. Drink this, she ordered, handing him the flask.
He reached for it with weak fingers and gulped the substance down. He had expected it to be putrid, but alas it was sweet and thick, and tasted of molasses. When he finished, he quickly licked his lips. What was it?
Old family recipe. It will either make you extremely hyperactive of extremely sleepy.
He nodded solemnly. I'm thinking... sleepy...
The woman nodded and helped him to his feet, leading him to a leather couch. You're welcome here for a while, she said as he had laid down, but he was already asleep.
She sipped at her coffee the next morning, staring at him from her bedroom door. Where did this strange man come from? It was rather peculiar for puking men to show up at the wee hours of the morning in Hogwarts School, after all. These thoughts were suddenly forgotten as he stirred in his sleep and sat up slowly. Good morning, she said, her Russian accent eminent for the first time to him. Feeling better?
he said with uncertainty, darting his eyes around. Much better, thanks.
She sat down on the couch next to him. Better enough to tell me your name now?
He stared at her for a moment. Would you first tell me where I am and how I got here? The last thing I remember is being in Canada. And I don't think we're in Canada anymore.
She laughed gently. We're at Hogwarts, she told him. I found you outside my room throwing up. So I gave you some Sankmenachev –
Molasses stuff? She nodded. That, I remember. He sighed, and whispered to himself in thought. Wendy must have orbed us here... She stared at him oddly, and he turned back to her. I'm Remus. Remus Lupin.
Lena Kovalenko, she replied, smiling warmly. I'll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Remus delighted. This would be the exploding chair victim. I used to teach that. I mean before Wendy Halliwell. And before Mad-Eye Moody... You have a lovely name.
Oh, thank you, she blushed. Lena's my middle name, actually. Esmerelda is my first name, but only my father called me that. She added the last phrase quietly, casting her eyes to the floor for a moment. How did you end up in front of my chambers? she asked suddenly.
Oh, well I was drunk and –
No, I mean how did you get to Hogwarts? I find it unusual for people to just magically appear in this school, not to mention at night during the summer holiday.
He smiled faintly. It's quite a long story, but I'm sure you have the time. She nodded eagerly. Well, I guess I'd have to begin when my daughter and I were being stalked by my crazy friend in Disney World...REMUS MIDDLE NAME LUPIN! YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK! was the first thing that Wendy yelled when she orbed to Remus on his call. POOR BELLE WAS – Oh, hello, Lena.
Hi, Wendy, nice to see you again. Sorry I've kidnapped your friend, but he showed up drunk on my doorstep and I just had to take care of him.
She smiled. Well thank you for that. She turned sharply to Remus. But you, mister, are in some deep shit. And if Belle's pissed at you when we get home then don't come crying to me!
Calm down, Wendy. Then, he whispered to Lena, Get some ketchup. She nodded curtly and followed orders. Please, Wendy, what's going on, did anything happen to Belle?
It took Wendy a few moments to gain composure from her anger fit. After a few heavy breaths, she said, Nothing is wrong, really! She's fine, you're fine, we're all bloody fine! Remus backed off a little, but sent his eyes pleaded to Wendy. She had this dream with you and her parents... She didn't explain it well but she was terrified. Though the way she was acting I thought it may have been a premonition...
With her parents?
Well – she began, though interrupted by Lena's return. I'm sorry, Lena, sometimes my emotions get the best of me... I'm not always like this, I'm just pregnant. She pulled out a bag of marshmallows from her pocket and started to dip them into the ketchup. After a few marshmallows, she sighed contentedly. Come on, kid, let's go home, but only if you promise me you won't get drunk and leave Belle again.
I promise on the graves of my parents, Harry's parents, and Esmerelda's father.
I believe he means me, Lena added quietly.
Oh. Do you have two names?
Everyone has two names, Wendy, it's called a first name and a middle name. Some people have three names.... called a last name. Crazy concept, I know.
Shut-up, I'm orbing you home right this instant. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Lena-slash-Esmerelda. Before anyone got a chance to reply, Wendy was orbing Remus back to her summer home. I'd go apologize to Belle if I were you.
he sighed, heading for her bedroom.
Wendy turned around, finding everyone except Belle staring at her while they sat in the living room.
How bad did you yell at him?
Let's just forget it, Hermione said. I want Sirius to guess what Wendy wants to name the baby.
said Ron. I want to know where Lupin was.
He was in Lena's room, Wendy shrugged quickly, not realizing that they didn't know who Lena was. Go ahead and guess, Sirius.
What letter does it start with?
Not telling.
Uh, Pollyanna?
Are you still drunk?
I take that as a no. I don't know, Wendy, let's decided on some boys names instead.
All right, what do you have in mind?
Something German, like Georg or Rolfe.
Wendy stared at him blankly. You want to name our child Gay-org? Do you want him to get beat up by the other little wizards? she asked innocently before bursting into tears and scurrying into the kitchen.
No, Wendy, I was just – Oh shit. He quickly stood up to follow her.
The teenagers all looked around at each other, at a loss of what to say. Fred and George began to make strange faces at each other. Ron made a weird noise with his mouth. Ginny sat quietly and drummed her fingers against the arm of the couch, which to Harry, who was watching Ginny intently, seemed a sexy gesture. Hermione stared off into space towards the ground.
And since you really don't care about what the teenagers do as their bored, a giant dancing Reeses Peanut Butter Cup popped into the middle of the room. Then, it disappeared as quickly as it came.
Well that's something that doesn't happen everyday, Ron said.
Harry agreed, then yawned as he felt quite sleepy. He snuggled into the corner of the couch and drifted into a deep sleep...
He felt himself snuggling further and further into something, and an almost floating feeling took him over. When he opened his eyes, he discovered himself surrounded in water. He took a huge gasp, expecting to cough the water back up, but to his surprise it was just a gasp. He felt the air press out along his sides, and he turned to look. However, as he turned, he discovered he had an orange tail. A tail? He swam around in a few more circle. Yes, he was most definitely a fish.
He surveyed his surroundings, and found himself in a sea anemone, and just outside of a large drop-off in the ocean.
Harry! Harry! Let's go! someone behind him urged. It was Sirius, fish-Sirius. He was quite peculiar looking, being a fish that resembled the human form of Sirius Black. But it did.
Go where?
Isn't it a little early? he asked. I think we should sleep a little more...
No! Now! he demanded stubbornly before darting out of the anemone.
Sirius? Sirius! Harry called and chased after him. Be careful! he yelled after him. Finally, Sirius stopped abruptly where many other fish were gathering. When Harry caught up to them, he discovered a large manta ray with Fishwarts Express' tattooed on it's fin. Before Harry knew it, Sirius was on the manta ray and Harry was watching it leave. he shouted after realizing he should be on it, going to school. Maybe he could chase after it and still catch it.
He decided it was worth a shot, and he swam as fast as his little orange fins could carry him. He kept swimming and swimming, feeling the cold water fly against his scales. It seemed that the giant ray had stopped up in the distance which allowed Harry to gain on them.
Finally, he had approached the ray. Several students had gotten off to stretch their fins. He swam up to Fred and George, who he saw first. Sirius was no where to be found. What happened to Sirius? he asked quietly. Where the heck was Sirius?
Surprise Death Eater attack, Fred replied.
But Sirius was very brave, George added.
Yeah, to confuse them, he touched their butts!
Harry didn't find this as funny as the twins thought it was. He scanned them over with uncertainty. They looked quite odd as fish, he had to admit. Their ears pulled far back to be created into fins, but he was sure he looked the same way. Harry looked out into the open and vast sea before him. Did they leave anything behind? How did they attack?
They came from a white boat. I seem to remember a crazy tall one with a slinky –
That guy was funny looking! George shouted, prancing back and forth in his fishy manner. He had a hump and his head was a little cocked to the side, and he kept breathing really heavy and he was all Master...' in this voice that...
Suddenly, before he could control himself, he was swimming as fast as he could out into the ocean. He had to find that boat... he had to get Sirius back. If he squinted hard enough, he could see the engine thrashing water back far off into the distance. He swam faster.
Harry! Where are you going? Fred shouted after him, cupping his fins around his mouth.
I'm finding Sirius! he shouted, not bothering to waste time by turning around. he wasn't eve sure if the twins could hear him.
You can't just swim out into the huge ocean! He could be anywhere! Harry didn't seem to have heard George. he called anyway with no reaction, encouraging him to yell louder. Harry!? (ry, ry, ry...) Hello!? (lo, lo, lo...) Echo! (cho, cho, cho...) Am I in the Twilight Zone!? (light zone, light zone, light zone...)
No, you bloody idiot, you're in the middle of the ocean!
Oh my God, I'm a fish!
Oh my God, I'm a fish too!
The area became enclouded my a mysterious shadow and a deep, echoing voice spoke. It's the site of a devastating crash and the epicenter of a mystery. A magical man left all alone in the nightmare of another fish's life. Very shortly, his help will come and together they will face the subjective reality of one man's existence laid bare for all to see. The journey has already begun, all it takes is a deceptively short, final step over the threshold of...The Twilight Zone...
Harry's fins finally gave out for a moment as he panted heavily into the big blue waters of the salty sea. The white boat was far out of distance now, but he felt he had to keep making his way through the water; he had to get Sirius. He started swimming down just above the sandy floor where other fishes busily swam against him. Have any of you seen a boat? he asked, but found no attention. Many of the fishes shoved him out of the way. He swam on, gaining speed with his growing anger for his lost friend. When his speed was out of control, a larger white fish aimed directly his way. They collided, sending Harry to land hard against the sand.
the white fish cried, throwing up her flowing fins exasperatedly. I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you coming. Sir...? Harry remained motionless on the ocean floor. Oh great, she whispered to herself as she floated down to Harry, and placed her fins over his body. A bright light glowed from them, and suddenly Harry took in a gulp of water.
I have to find Sirius, I have to find Sirius, Harry muttered as he woke up.
Who's Sirius?
Harry stopped midstroke and turned abruptly, quite surprised to discover a white fish bobbing happily behind him. Her white scales glittered in such a fashion that a silver glow emanated from her, and her soft fins swayed gently in the current. And the fish was Wendy... Sirius, he was taken from me. A big white boat has him now.
Hey! I saw a boat.
You did? A white one? Which way did it go?
Hi, I'm Wendy.
Wendy, which way did it go?
It went... this way. Follow me. She began to swim off away from the rest of the fishes, and Harry eagerly followed. Soon, Wendy's swimming teetered, and she floated along the current while gently humming. She turned to look behind and, and upon seeing Harry, she darted off into the distance. Harry chased after her. Wendy turned around sharply. Who do you think you are, following me around!?
You can't handle the big ocean by yourself so you need a big fish to follow you around? Huh? HUH?
What on earth are you talking about?
Come on, I can take you! Put up your fins and fight me like a fish. She held her fins up ready to strike, and Harry reached up to calm her down. However, with his movement, Wendy struck a young grasshopper pose. Yeah... That's right... I know the art of karate.
Wendy, you were showing me where the boat went, Harry reminded her.
Oooooooooooooooh, Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailin' man, the Skipper brave and sure, five passengers set sail that day, for a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough – It went this way!
He quickly swam around in front of her. Stop! You already told me that.
I did?
he told her angrily.
Oh, no. Ooooh, no...
I'm trying to find Sirius and you aren't helping one bit. The least you could do is cooperate. This isn't funny, Wendy! I mean, I know I'm a clownfish but –
No, no. See, I have short term memory loss.
Short term memory loss? he asked, as if not entirely convinced.
Yeah, I have short term memory loss.
I suffer from short term memory loss.
Okay, Wendy, I get it.
It's this little thing called short term memory loss.
Wendy, you already told me that...
Oh I did? Well did I tell you that I have short term memory loss? Harry sighed. Well, it runs in my family. At least, I think it does... She dazed into her own dreamland, and came to quickly and looked at Harry enthusiastically. Can I help you?
That's it, now is not the time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find Sirius. He turned around with exasperation, glad to ditch Wendy for once. He knew she was crazy... but she wasn't this crazy. Then again, they were both fish.
Harry looked up in front of him as he truckled to a creepy feeling shaking through his body. A large shark was smiling at him but inches away, baring its full set of teeth.
Hello... little friend, the shark said as Harry slowly backed away. As he looked at him better, he found that this shark was none other than Snape.
Harry felt Wendy's presence next to him. Well, howdy!
The name's Snape, he hissed, easing closer to them. And I think it's a good idea if you come with me...
I'm not so sure about that.
Where are we going? Wendy asked. Harry shot her a dirty look that she didn't notice. If she didn't stop talking soon he was going to smack her upside the head with his fin.
To a little party, Snape replied.
Ooh, I love parties!
Snape grinned smugly and turned to lead Wendy away, and Harry felt obliged to follow. Despite his anger at Wendy right now, he couldn't let her go alone with Sharky Snape.
They eased into colder waters as Snape led them down into an old sunken ship. Another shark was waiting to greet them, Harry noticed, and he came closer and closer to them as they came into proximity. His mouth opened in a wide grin, and Harry closed his eyes, fearful of being eaten.
DING!
Harry opened his eyes slowly, one at a time, to realize that he had not been eaten. Snape floated behind a podium and the other shark floated in front of him with Wendy floating contentedly beneath him. A small, light green fish quivered by the shark's fin. It seemed to Harry that this shark was Draco Malfoy and the small fish was Neville Longbottom. Harry's heart sank in the memory of Neville just as another shark appeared from the black shadow in the back of the room. It was Lucius Malfoy.
I'd like to begin this meeting, Snape announced, of the Sharks Habituating Illegal Tactics. If we'd all raise our right fins and recite the motto: Fish are fiends. Not friends.
Now, I have not eaten a fish in two weeks, and I have only used them by means of torture.
The sharks reluctantly clapped. Harry could tell they didn't want to be here. Snape asked for someone to go next, and Wendy eagerly raised her fin. My name is Wendy, she stated, And, well, I don't think I've ever illegally tortured a fish. Harry you go next!
Harry frowned at Wendy but swam his way up to the podium. My name is Harry Potter, and I'm a clownfish –
A clownfish! Wendy exclaimed. Tell us a joke!
Oh, er... A dementor walks into a bar and says – Suddenly, a shiny metal object that had been gleaming in his eye had caught his attention. Just up ahead and to his right was none other than a slinky. he muttered, moving towards it.
Very funny, Potter. You're more of a seriousfish than a clownfish.
No, Malfoy, Harry sighed. He's my godfather. He was taken from me and now I have to find him.
Aw, that's too bad, Wendy said.
Dad, who's the godfather? Draco asked.
He's this powerful Italian man who runs the Mafia.
No, I mean who's my godfather?
Oh. The Dark Lord.
Harry neared the slinky. There were words written on them, but he couldn't make them out. It sounded like they were in a familiar language. I don't know what these words mean, he told Wendy, who had swam up behind him.
I never knew my godfather! Snape cried as he broke down in tears. The other sharks quickly began to comfort him.
Well then we should go find someone who knows how! Wendy suggested to Harry. Oh look, sharks. Hey guys! Wendy grabbed the slinky.
Wendy, no!
Hey, buddy, why such a long face? she asked sympathetically, rubbing her fin below Snape's gills.
I n-never got to know my g-godfather, he sniffled. Wait a minute...
Are you being friendly with my friend? Lucius asked suddenly.
Yeah, cause we don't like when fish are friends, Draco chimed in.
Wendy asked. She started to back away slowly, attempting to hide the slinky behind her back. But after all, they were in the ocean, and it got all wet and slippery...
What are you hiding back there, fishy? Snape taunted, edging towards her. Why don't you show it to old Snapey?
I don't think that's necessary, she replied. Her fins couldn't hold the edge of the slinky anymore and the end slipped from her grasp, revealing a long coiled piece of metal. Her eyes darted down in fear, then back to the sharks. Just as they charged, Harry pulled her out of the way.
he shouted, wiggling his tail as fast as he could. The sharks chased them throughout the old sunken ship, and soon they found themselves alone in a hidden chamber. Okay, I think we're safe. He took a look around the room. The walls were covered in ancient maps and old books scattered about the floor.
Wendy swam up to one of the maps. Dnalgne. Hey, that's spelled just like England –
You can read!?
I can? Oh, right. I can!
Harry was flabbergasted. He lifted the slinky. Then read this. As Wendy studied the slinky, a bright orange light flashed and a large BOOM rang out. The sharks, Harry whispered, then it all went black...
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, Sirius sang, swimming innocently in a circle around a little house. He heard voices in the distance, and he abruptly stopped his singing. He most certainly thought he had been alone wherever he was, but he followed the sound of the voices.
Poor thing, he heard, he must have gotten bag fever.
Sirius slowed down as he approached them, finding odd looking structures around him and strange plants. He ducked behind a plastic plant when a brown treasure chest opened next to him.
Treasure treasure treasure treasure treasure treasure treasure. My treasure. A fish who looked undeniably like Ron Weasley swam out and chased after the chest before it closed.
Oh, don't mind him, a pink starfish told Sirius, he just likes his treasure. He backed away slowly at the realization that she was Cadance.
Oh, hello! an unusually bouncy fish greeted him. You can call me Auntie Cati, and this is my twin sister Franjelica. She pointed to her reflection, then leaned towards Sirius and whispered, Don't listen to anything she says, she's crazy!
A blowfish and a smaller purple and yellow fish, who resembled Remus and Belle, swam up to him. Hi there, what's your name? Remus said.
I'm... I'm Sirius, he said, unsure why he was in a tank with them.
Belle shouted. He hasn't been decontanimated yet.
It's decontaminated, Belle. Hermione!
Hermione, a small shrimp, popped out of nowhere and began spinning him furiously. When he felt sick to his stomach, she stopped, saying, and scurried away.
So what store are you from? Cati asked.
You know, Fish World.
Pet Palace.
Cadance shouted.
Oh, well I'm from England. Or the ocean. I'm not sure which...
The ocean! everyone awed. That's incredible.
Oh no, Remus said. Isn't he the one that's going to You-Know-Who – He suddenly inflated. Not again! Belle excused herself to go deflate him.
He means that Wormtail is going to give you to Voldemort. Cati looked nonchalant.
Okay, see that guy over there in the corner of the room? Sirius looked out of a tank, spying a cloaked figure scrunched into the corner, stroking his arm and muttering, Dennis Dennis Dennis,' under his breath nonstop. That's Wormtail. And you are going to be his gift to his master, Voldemort, for his birthday.
Sirius fainted.
Harry's eyes slowly fluttered open, only to shut again upon the discovery of a pounding headache. He groaned and rolled over, settling into a small niche he had created. However, his sleeping was interrupted by a large white fin flopping onto his face. In surprise, he jumped off the ground, collided his head with the top of the slinky and realized his niche had been inside the metal coils. he hissed under his breath, angry to lose his comfortable sleeping spot.
He swam around in a tiny circle to stretch his fins and he surveyed his surroundings. Uh, Wendy, he began nervously, backing into the slinky again, Wendy, wake up.
Yes, I like the rodeo, too, she muttered, not waking.
Wendy, wake up!
Huh? What is it, Larry?
What is it, Harry?
We're surrounded by fish hooks.
They both swam out of the slinky but stayed close to it, scanning the premises around them. Wendy sighed, grabbing onto one end of the slinky, if we just go this way I think we can find our way out.
But didn't we come from that direction? I think she should go this way, he replied, pointing in the opposite direction. However, it seemed that Wendy didn't hear him. She had already begun to swim in her direction. Harry grabbed onto the other end as quickly as he could and swam in his direction.
What are you doing? Wendy shouted.
This is the way we need to go!
But the slinky is stretching too much!
It became a struggle for both the fish to swim in their directions, until finally it snapped from both their grasps and popped up into the air, landing onto a fish hook.
they both cried, swimming towards the now rising hook, dodging other stationary hooks and darting between fishing lines. They both happened to reach the slinky at the same time, and once again pulled it in different directions. It popped into the air, releasing from their fins, and flew into a nearby cave; a dark and rocky pit of doom.
Now it's gone! Harry complained, exasperated.
Why? Did you drop it?
Harry stared at her for a moment. We both did. Great, now we'll never find Sirius.
Well, then we'll just have to go get it. She swam, humming, towards the cave in question, stopping just before the opening to wait for a frowning Harry. Hey Mister Frowny Fins, you know what you need to do?
I don't care what I need to do, he sighed.
Just keep singing, just keep singing, just keep singing, singing, singing. What do we do? We sing, sing... She grabbed his fin and pulled him into the cave, proceeding to sing her ditty in odd voices, whistles, and hums, as the cave grew darker.
It grew quiet after a moment. Wendy screamed. SOMETHING'S TOUCHING MY FIN!
That's just me! Harry told her.
Oh, my bad. Who are you? Are you my imaginary friend from kindergarten?
Yes. Yes I am.
Well, why didn't you say so? It's good to hear from you, Gravy Train.
Your imaginary friend's name was Gravy Train?
Yup. You should have heard his sister's name.
Which was...?
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
I'm sorry I asked.
There was no answer from Wendy.
the voice called again.
What? Ah! His eyes snapped open to find Wendy's face, real Wendy's face, leaning in much closer then he expected. He blinked a few times as she backed away from the couch and he took the opportunity to look around. The room was dark, and everyone seemed to have left. Jesus Christ, Wendy, why'd you have to wake me up? I think I was having a good dream. He noticed the worried look on her face as she rubbed her stomach. Hey, what's wrong? Did something happen? Where is everyone?
Wendy caught his gaze as Harry stood from the couch. It's Belle, Wendy revealed. Her parents are alive.
A/n: Yes, I know. I am evil. And I am slow. And I am sorry. And I am gonna have this next chapter so much faster, I promise, I feel soooo bad! I hope you still like me. ::smiles:: ? Next chapter should be good!
–Whitelighter Enchantress