Homework!

A/N: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville are given a book report on the Harry Potter books. Strangely, their reactions are much like those of Charlie Brown and his friends when they are given a book report on Peter Rabbit. If you've heard the song you'll be able to follow this, if not ... good luck!

Disclaimer: These characters belong to JK Rowling. I was just having fun with her creations. The song is from the movie "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" and was written originally for the musical of the same title by Clark Gesner.

Ron:
A book report on Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Po-

Hermione:
A book report on Harry Potter, Harry Po-

Harry:
A book report on Harry Potter, Po-

Neville:
A book report on Harry Po-

ALL
-Otter.

Ron
Harry Potter is this stupid book
About a stupid boy who learns
Magic at a special magic school.
He counts the words so far
Hmm. 82 to go.

HARRY
The name of the book about which
This book report is about is
Harry Potter which is about this
wizard.
I found it very-
I liked the part where-
It was a-

It reminded me of "Narnia"
And the part where Lucy must help out these creatures
named Dufflepuds who're very strange.
And she goes through the great house in search of a book
That will make them visible again.
And she finds the spell book and reads it with glee
And she learns different spells, for things like beauty
And the lion appears and tells her she's wrong
And she finds the right spell and says it before long
And the magician appears and she turns in alarm-
Harry Potter did sort of that kind of thing too.

RON
The other people's name was Lord Voldemort.
counts to 24
Ohh!

HERMIONE
In examining a book such as Harry Potter, it is important that
the superficial chracteristics of its deceptively simple plot
should not be allowed to blind the reader to the more substancial
fabric of its deeper motivations. In this report I plan to discuss the
sociological implications of great pressures so
tremendous as to drive an otherwise ordinary boy to
perform so outstandingly in difficult tasks which had previously been far too complicated.
I also hope to explore the personlaity of one Lord Voldemort in his terrifying role as the enemy.

Harry Potter is established from the start as a benevolent hero
and it is only with the onslaught of social pressures, that the seams in his moral fabric ...

NEVILLE (overlapping)
If I
Start writing now, when I'm
Not really rested, it could
Upset my thinking, which is
Not good at all. I'll get a
Fresh start tomorrow, and it's
Not due till Wednesday, so I'll
Have all of Tuesday, unless
Something should happen. Why does
This always happen, I should
Be outside playing, getting
Fresh air and sunshine, I work
Best under pressure, and there'll
Be lots of pressure, if I
Wait till tomorrow, I should
Start writing now. But I if I
Start writing now, when I'm
Not really rested, it could
Upset my thinking, which is
Not good at all.

RON
The name of the boy was Harry.
counts to 31
Yes!

HARRY
Lucy turned to the man in alarm – ah!
But he made sure she was not left in fear - hah!
They ate a meal and they laughed at the Duffs, ah!
'Cause they were strange.

RON
35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40.

HARRY
Then they could return to their ship - weeee!
They didn't even need to try and fight - zing!
The magician gave them items they could use - ah!
Magical items.
That performed magic.
Just like wizards.
Who do magic a lot
As you can tell
From the story
Of Harry Potter
Which this report
Is about.

NEVILLE
How do they expect us to
Write a book report
Of any quality
In just two days

How can they
Conspire to
Make life so mis'rable
And so effectively
In so many ways

RON
There were children
At the school

Such as Harry and Ron
And Malfoy and Crabbe
And Goyle and Pansy
And Seamus and Neville
And Katie and Angelina
Oliver, Alicia, Hermione
Lavender, Parvati, and Fred.

HERMIONE
Not to mention the extreme pressure exterted on him
by the adults in his life: Ollivanders, Dumbledore, and Hagrid!

CHARLIE
If I
Start writing now, when I'm
Not really rested, it could
Upset my thinking, which is
Not good
At all

HARRY
The name of the book
About which
This book report is
About is

Harry Potter,
Harry Potter

HERMIONE
What drove an otherwise
Normal

To perform
Acts of

This magnitude?
This magnitude!

RON
Harry Potter is this stupid book
About a stupid boy who learns
Magic at a special magic school.

Magic school,
magic school,

75,76, 77,78,79,80, 81, 82.

RON
And they were very, very, very, very, very, very
Happy to be safe.

HARRY
The end.

RON
...94, 95. The very, very, very end.

HERMIONE
A-men

NEVILLE
A book report on Harry Pot-ter