Disclaimer: I own nothing.

RRP: eh? Thanks for the reviews guys. I really appreciate it.

Reviews:

Shui- I could feel his pain.You write so well. I want to see him happy.I want to see him safe. Will you let me see him loved?

;; eh? Sure, I will, don't worry. I love him too.

Cilverclaw-

oh, this is so sweet! more please!

thanks! Nice name o

r-

Heero (or should I say UnHeero) and Quatre Winner (or should I say Loser) are being jerks.
Open your eyes. Come on, even Wufei saw that there was something wrong with Duo.
Help Duo before he does something that he may regret besides kissing stoneman.

hm? UnHeero? Loser? ;; hey, let's not name call. I guess Heero's a bit OOC, but I've never read Heero/Quatre before so.....and this couple doesn't really have a big plot line . I was hoping that it wouldn't be such a big part, being as how this is, this chapter might not be so good. Heero's a bit overdramatic and....well, I'll try to fix it the best to my abilities. You see, I haven't studied Heero that much yet. And the reason Heero and Quatre doesn't see that something's wrong is because they are "so in love that they can't look away fom each other for a minute", it is part of the reason why I did this. It's not their fault that they don't see. It's because they assume that Duo was greatly happy. Because when they got together, Duo acted so hyper that they thought he was really fine with it and they started to focus on their romance, no war, no missions. No missions, nothing to do hey, it's one heck of a way to waste your time away, ne? Better than killing yourself to do WORK, though Heero would love it, but Quatre needs a little love o.O

Amy-

Yeah! I was so bored, so I decided to look at your profile to see anything good...and you updated! See? didn't I tell you that it would be good? Great job on the personalities, and separating each of the character's feelings, thoughts, etc.

-.- sure sure, Am-o

Akira Kinryu-

E! Yay for 2x3x2! I luff it! You're such a great authoress! Waii to the sweet Trowa-ness! I'll e-mail you again tomorrow, but for now sincew it's about 5:45, I'm going to bed. ;; Anyway, I love this fic! And thank you so much for dedicating this to my...erm..fic! ;; It makes us (me and my fic) feel all fuzzily! And yes, let's retire to your bed! Lol!

o lolz, ue bed or mines nudge kidding! LOL. Thanks for your support, guess I had to do some adjustments. Hope you like the change!

Merit Somnia-

Good in many parts but in others it is a bit cliche-y. I love the pairing so far and the characters are a bit off. Quatre would probably be more caring but Wufei and Trowa were done quite well.

Cliche? ;; I didn't know. Thanks for informing me Quatre should care more? Hehe, I forgot all about the series. Is Q a bit.....too much of a worrywart? Some people make him like a a chibi, I just see him as sensitive and shy and....I don't think he'd jump anyone..........would he? o.O

Hazel-Beka-

Beka: o.O Um...I have never in all my life seen Heero and Quatre as an item. Or Duo and Trowa!
Hazel: Yeah, that is a little creepy. But it's a great opening chapter and you should continue! Soon!

really? hyped never? Never ever EVER? o I only pass through 1x4 pairings, but Trowa's with Duo, and Q and Hee-chan needs SOMEONE. I don't think Wufei can be with Heero nore can he really fit with Q. 2x3 I've seen a lot. I myself have recently started reading them. And I LOVED Akira-kun's, so now I LOVE this pairing, plus I love both Duo AND Trowa - Thanks, I am continuing with this. Already on chapter 3.

Note: there may be sum mistakes, cause my damn program is deffective

Chapter 2-
The morning light woke me up at 7:00 the next morning. I couldn't get much sleep last night after what happened. After thinking it over, I realized that Duo had always been beautiful. I never really looked at him like I do the others. It's a bit of a habit to watch people around me. Duo was so vibrant and attracting(in a non-loving way) that even without looking closely, it was interesting to watch him. The way he ran around, made snide and playful comments, mess around with Wufei and all the things he does takes my attention away from who he himself is. Perhaps, now it will be interesting to observe him. It would be different from seeing Duo's usual self. The only thing I hope for when making this decision is that I don't find something I don't like about Duo.

!Quatre!
I sigh. I am always the first to awake. Every morning I get up and prepare breakfast for my friends. Today's not different. I yawn and go down to the kitchen. I take out the pan, a dozen eggs, strips of bacon and my spatula. I like cooking for them so I do this everyday. After the war, I wanted to focus on doing my job without distractions. So I moved out to this house. It's quiet and secluded. I didn't want to take Rashid away from his parents so I moved here alone. He wouldn't take it at the beginning and came to visit every afternoon. But after my Heero and the others moved in, Rashid left me in care of them. But really, I'm the one that's taking care of THEM.

I chuckle at the thought. "What's so funny?" I jump around, startled. Trowa looked questioningly at me. "Trowa! You scared me. How many eggs do you want?"
"Two. You didn't answer my question, little one." I turn around to make his eggs. "I was just thinking about how we are now." Trowa didn't say anything. We stay silent for a while. "Scrambled?" "Yes." The only sound in the kitchen is the frying eggs and my spatula scraping the pan. Trowa speaks up finally. he's been talking more since we moved in. "Quatre, have you noticed anything strange about Duo?" I look at him. "Duo? What's wrong with him?" What's wrong with Duo? He seems fine the last time I saw him. I haven't been around much. I am always stuck in my office on the third floor. I've only been down to eat. Maybe Trowa was around when something happened. "He seems alright." Maybe he's not. I frown. he has been strangely quiet. Even though I was upstairs, I've noticed that he never sticks to us anymore. Last night, he was quiet, very unlike himself. Has he been sick? He does seem a bit blue. Actually, he's been very dark. I start worrying. Maybe Duo's sick. Maybe he has a fever. Or a flu! He goes out too much. He might have been biten by a bug. Knowing him, he'd brush it off as if it were nothing. I can hear him now. "Ow!. Damn bugs. I'm gonna kill them someday. sigh Better be going back to put some ointment in it. Maybe Q's done with his work." And then he'd just rub a bit of cream on and not tell us. It could have been a bug carrying insects.
Or maybe he's physically sick. He hasn't been eating much. An image of last night flashes. He left his plate half full! he hasn't been eating much. He's minimized himself to only two servings and last night was the lowest. I've only heard of that happening when someone has the stomach virius. Trowa must have seen the panic in my eyes.

"No, Quatre. There's nothing wrong with Duo. He's perfectly fine. Calm down."

I steady my breath and serve him his eggs first. "He hasn't been eating much, Trowa. And...........he doesn't speak very much now." Duo's eyes were more distant, as if he was thinking about something else. He acts as if he's keeping a secret! I stare at Trowa with wide eyes. He stares back, confused. "What if he's dying, Trowa?!" His eyes widen a litte.

"Who's dying?" Heero asks calmly from the doorway. I launch myself into Heero's arms. "Heero!" He pats me, holding me in his comforting embrace. "Quatre, what's wrong, love?" He hugs me tightly. His voice is gentle. "Duo might be dying!" At that moment, Wufei walks in. "What?!" he screams. "Maxwell is dying?! When did that happen? Why wasn't I informed?!" He looks pointedly at Trowa. Trowa was speechless, incredulous.

"Duo's been looking pale. He's losing weight. And his eyes are distant as if he's keeping something from us. He acts gloomier than usual. Something's wrong with him!" I start crying into Heero's chest. He continues to rub my back. "This is awful, Heero. What are we going to do?! We'll miss him if he dies. We'll miss the way he smiles, the way he talks back to you and Wufei, the way he plays jokes and makes me laugh, the way he snores sometimes when we sleep in the same room, the way he struts down the halls with a mischievous look in his purple orbs, the way his blood flows in his body, the way his heart pounds like ours and the way he always cares!"

"Quiet down, Winner and tell me how this happened!" Wufei's growls. A yawn came from the stairs. "'Morning, guys. What's for breakfast?" Duo rubs his eyes and sits down next to Wufei. He yawns again loudly and looks around. "Hey, what's up. Something happened while I was snoozing?" He looks curiously at us. I get angry. "What do you mean that you don't know?! How can you do this to us?" I yell at him. He looks confused and a bit taken back. "What do you mean, Q? What did I do wrong?" He looks at me hurt.

"It's not what you did," Heero says, "It's what you didn't do."

"What?" Duo looks lost.

"Duo, what the hell is Winner talking about." Wufei asks Duo angrily. Duo looks troubled when Wufei his first name. A frown appears on his face. "Sorry, 'Fei. I can't tell you what." Wufei glares at him suspiciously. "'Cause I have no fking reason what you mean!" Duo continues, looking angry. "What did the Prof tell you, huh? Did he call you and make something up about me? What did he say?!" Trowa shakes his head. "He didn't call, Duo." Trowa's face was twisted in confusion. "Then what is it?" He stares intently at us. "Duo," Heero starts, "why didn't you tell us that something was wrong?" Duo's eyes widen in shock. "What? How did you find out?" "So it's true?" I accuse. Duo doesn't know what to say. "Duo, why didn't you tell us you are dying?" Heero looks at Duo. There was silence. Suddenly, brawls of laughter erupts from Duo's mouth. We stare at him. Why is he laughing?!?!
"You-" laugh "think-" snort "I'm-" snicker "dying?!?" He laughs crazily. "Duo, it's not funny!" I glare at him. Duo holds up his hand. "Wait, wait." After he calmed down, he starts talking.

!Duo!

I couldn't help it. It was just so funny. I thought they found out about my loveless life. I was relieved when they said that the prof didn't call. I was afraid he'd bust my secret out to them and told everyone the reason why I helped in Operation Meteor. Oh man, it's just so hilarious!. And I thought it was something serious when Wufei called my name. Ha!

"Dying?! AHHAHAHA! Oh my god, this must be the funniest thing I've ever heard! I'm not dying. Who the heck told you that?" I snicker. really, Q and the others are just KILLING me. "I'm perfectly fine." Not. "I'm as healthy as a fruitcake, which is as healthy as you can get if you ask me. Why do you think I'm dying?" They stare at me realization; than in relief. "Oh god, Duo!" Q hugs me. "I'm so glad. We won't be missing you." "Well, gee, thanks, Q. If I ever leave on a trip, I'll KNOW you won't miss me." Quatre smiles. "But you'll never leave, Duo. We'd be with you." I smile. It's kinda nice to hear him say that. It means that wherever I go, they'll always be there for me. "Course, Q. Besides, you know I'd never go down without a fight. And I never lie." I grin at him. He smiles widely. "Of course, Duo." "Great, now that we've got that covered, what's for breakfast?" My tummy growls in agreement. Quatre laugh. Heero is smiling at me. And Wufei looks annoyed. Trowa-well, the guy's always calm.

!Wufei!
That Maxwell! He caused us to think he was dying! It's just like him, unpredictable........But if he really did die, it would be awful. I'd never admit it, but I do fancy Maxwell. And as much as I hate to admit it, Maxwell's a great guy. He's a great comrade and an even better friend. He's not the smartest person in the world, but he's admirable in his own way. And we still don't know why he's dark. At least he laughed, it's a little more like him. What ever is wrong with Duo must have started a month ago. What am I doing? While I'm thinking in my head, I'm standing in the doorway like an idiot.
"Hey, 'Fei, you alright? You look like you're thinking something serious. Did I scare you?" Duo asks me.

"At least I do think. You wouldn't even scare me if you held a bloodied knife in your hand," I snap back at him. I'm not angry at his implication that I'm scared easily, but for making me worry a little about him and letting the others see that he can affect me. Now they know I care. HE knows I care, even a little. I'll never hear the end of it.
"Oh really? 'Cause you looked pretty worried to me," he grins at me. I glare at him. "Not in a lifetime, Maxwell." He shrugs and sits back. At least his healthy flush is coming back.

!Trowa!
The morning incident passed. Wufei was still frustrated, but he cooled down in the afternoon. Duo stayed tonight to eat, like he had always done. He chattered on as usual. I assumed it was to reassure us that he wasn't going to die. The sky has darkened and it's currently around 9. Quatre and Heero are already cuddling in their beds, together. They've slept together since their first time. It was disturbing listening to them so Wufei and I left. Duo was off to see a friend.

I walk down the halls to my room. I had finished my book. Wufei was asleep as soon as we finished dining. Duo had disappeared back to his room after watching his favorite show an hour before. So I believe I'm the only one currently awake. As I walk up the stairs, I wonder what is wrong with Duo. He's not dying, but that doesn't tell us why he's different. I saw the end of a braid disappear into Duo's room as I reach the top. I blink. I guess I'm not the only one awake. Perhaps I should ask him directly. Yes, it would save us the trouble.

His door is slightly opened. A continuous noise is coming from behind it. Is that..........crying? I peek in. Duo's form is hunched over his bed. His body is trembling, no, he's shaking. The moonlight made his tears visible. They glisten as they fall onto his blanket with soft dud. I blink and then frown. Why is Duo crying? Is it connected to his recent behavior? He sobs more. In a time like this, what should I do? Duo has never cried before, no one has as far as I know. Everyone is happy. Everyone WAS happy. Life is great compared to the war. There is no fights, not battles, no crime. Theft is few these days, rape seems ancient.
The cries cease. Duo sniffs, wiping his already red eyes. He sighs and leans his forehead on the side of the bed. "God, I'm stupid," he whispers. He smiles bitterly, so rare for him. He climbs into bed and falls asleep, his face stained with dried tears, fists clench and puffy red eyes. Just like last night. He looks exactly like he did last night when he came down. He's sad. He cries. Duo cries. For some reason, that thought makes my heart ache. He's been suffering every night for the last few months, and that acknowledgment hurts even more. Why haven't we noticed? Why haven't I noticed? My room is next to his and the walls aren't soundproof. How can I be so ignorant? I frown.
I understand that Duo needs comforting, but I've never comforted before. Quatre had said that I was a friend-always there to support him. I've only raised their spirits, help them acknowledge their true feelings. But that is all. How do you comfort someone? I still know nothing, only that he cries to himself and calls himself an idiot, like Wufei and Heero. Except his is real. We all know that Wufei and Heero never meant those words. But Duo, his voice was so broken, like a fallen angel, like a bird who realized she couldn't sing. He is like a singer who lost his passion. He is so un-Duo-like. God.....my heart thumps loudly. I move away from the door and close it silently.
"Barton?" I look up, startled. "Wufei...." He raises an eyebrow at me. I must look strange, leaning on the wall next to Duo's door, my hands on the knob like a spy caught red-handed. I leave the door open slightly, the way he left it.
"Something wrong, Barton? Something troubling you? Did someone die?" He jokes.

"Duo did."

"What?" he asks sharply. His pupils narrows and his teeth grits. "Duo's been crying." Wufei looks annoyed then surprised. His eyebrows are raised and his lips forms an o. "Why is Maxwell crying?" "I don't know," I answer, a little dismayed. Wufei doesn't seem to notice. He frowns and leans on his wall. "Then there isn't anything we can do. Is that all you found out? I've realized that whatever is wrong happened during the course of last month." I nod. He's right, it was a little after we moved in that he started acting weird. "Maybe he's uncomfortable living with us." Wufei stares at me almost blankly. "That's impossible. Maxwell is use to being around people. He's that kind of person. Other than that fact, he's been rooming with us during the war." I frown and lean on my back, my hand cup under my chin thoughtfully. A loud snort jolted us from the silence. I smile slightly at Duo. His sheets rustle as he wiggles under his cover. Wufei yawns from his position. "Good night, Barton." "Good night, Wufei." He disappears back into his room. I gave Duo one more glance before returning to my own room. With the knowledge of his sorrow, perhaps I will also find out about my new strange feelings. It feels like a protective streak, but something deeper than that.

!Quatre!
I yawn, sitting up in my bed. Heero's arm wrapped around my waist stops me from leaving the bed. I smile at my lover. I bend down and peck his cheek, then climbed out of bed. I am the only one awake as usual. I sigh and shuffle downstairs to the kitchen. Today's breakfast is pancakes. I set the pan and go to work. After I finished the last pancake, Trowa comes in. I serve him his plate. "Good morning, Trowa." He mumbles a reply back to me. I smile and hand him his coffee. He drinks it and seem to wake up more. "Quatre, may I ask you something?" I look at him curiously. "What is it, Trowa? Is something wrong?" He shakes his head. "I want to put hidden cameras around, is that alright?" I gasp a litte, my head shooting up. "Uh. That's alright. But why?" I frown. Did something happen? Is there a threat? As if he read my mind, he answers. "No, everything's fine. I can't explain just yet." I nod. I'm not sure, but I trust Trowa fully. He smiles a small smile and thanks me.

!Wufei!
"It's done."
I look up from my book at Trowa. My glasses slip from my quick movement. I push it back up. "You did it, Barton?" He nods. For the whole afternoon, Barton has been setting up hidden cameras around the house, especially around Duo's room. He discussed his plan with me earlier in the morning, before Maxwell was awake. Barton wants to find out what happened to Maxwell. I am curious myself. "I was extra careful," Barton sits down on the armchair near me. "Oh? Where was Maxwell?" "He's in the yard." I nod. Then I frown. I can't help but wonder what would happen if Maxwell finds out. He told us that he hated cameras, they bother him. He told us that it gave him no privacy. That was the reason why we didn't have any cameras when we moved in. I suppose he is a bit paranoid, who wouldn't be, though. I admire him just for being able to bare it during the war. I had given up weakly to OZ and joined them. The memory is not a very pleasant one. Thank God that Heero showed me that our efforts were not wasted.
"What will you do if Maxwell finds out?" Trowa looks at me with one green eye. "I don't know." I snort. I never expected him to ever say that. The end of the war did effect most of us, I guess. I sigh and turn back to my book. The rest of the evening was silent.

!Duo!
Yesterday was one of the better days, compared to my others. It was actually almost like before when I use to have fun. Man, it almost killed me to see how worried Quatre was. I guess I have been acting kinda strange. Moping around most of the time and not eating much too! Damn, how uncharacteristic am I? My act is slipping, I'm getting lazy. I sigh and head up the stairs. It's almost time for bed. Last night was great. I slept peacefully for once. It felt like a guardian angel was watching over me. Heh, that should scare me, but it doesn't.
I crept past Heero and Quatre's door, I shut my eyes as I pass. Last night was great, but also horrible. It was a mistake going to check on Heero before I slept. The sight of him curling up with Quatre was painful. I guess he really does love Q. Don't blame him. Q is so innocent, so pure and cute even when he's angry. Me? I'm nothing. I'm just a freak with long hair and purple eyes. When I smile, it's just the warm and kind, not holy. Not even that great. It's so common and plain. God, here I go again. I really am depressing.
I blink. I had ran past their door without noticing, because I'm standing right in front of my door now. I shake my head and walk in. I quickly shower and jump into bed. Acting is really tiring. I sigh and go to sleep.

---Three days later---

Pain.
Tears.
Blood. So much blood. Who's?
Darkness.
A black figure. Heero? What the hell are you doing here? Why-why are you smiling like that? Why do you look like that? Why....why are you pointing your gun at me?
"Why are you still living? The reason we live is to find love, but you can never have love. Why are you still here?"
What? What are you saying, Heero?
"Look at you, Duo. You're nothing. No one can love you. No one will ever love you. You're trash. Just a plain class clown with nothing special. Just a freak with unnatural eyes."
Huh? Is that Solo's voice? Solo? Solo!? It is you! But-
"God. I feel sorry for you, Duo." Solo kneels in front of me. "You'll never feel the love that I feel. I'm so sorry God passed you when he blessed his children. Stay strong, Duo. See you soon if not otherwise."
What? A sharp pain shot from my chest. Blood drips out of the corner of my mouth. I stare at Heero in shock. "I'm so sorry, Duo. I can't love you the same way, I love Quatre. I'm so sorry. It would be less painful for us both if you died." Tears blurs my vision. Heero.....

I shot awake. My breathing was fast and sweat coated my body mingled with tears on my face. They wouldn't stop. Why won't anyone came to make it stop? Why isn't there anyone to comfort me? Where........is all the love? All these questions flashed through my head in the middle of the night.

"No one can love you. No one will ever love you."

That's right. Solo's right. He always is.

I stared out my window at the moon. Somehow, it reminded me of Heero.

"Heero.........god. I'm so stupid. So, so stupid. I just can't help it. I'm sorry, Heero. you must still feel guilty for rejecting me. God, I'm such an idiot. I knew you wouldn't love me back. But I still went and did that. Can't you just kill me, in real life. Even after all these years, after all the things that happened. I still love you. But you love Q and I'm really happy for both of you. But it hurts. It hurts that you have someone that loves you and someone that you love back. Why can't I have that? I must be selfish, Heero. But just for once, even for one night or one minute. I want that kind of love. Just a little bit of love is all right. Just a little." I sniff. Heero doesn't hear me, but I don't care. As long as I say it, to anyone, anything. As long as I get it off my chest. "I'm trying to move on, I really am, but it's hard when there's no one to help you. I just hope you have a great life with Quatre." I couldn't take it anymore and broke down crying. Eventually I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't move. I just stayed there and slept through to the afternoon. So that was how my morning began. Things got worse from there.

---

TBC

RRP: So.. Did ya like it? Didjadidja?!?!? Hmmmmmmm?!?!?