Authors' note: YAY! When we last left Kiba, he was being chased by a group of rabid fangirls thirsting for some damp-haired sexiness, and Sasuke was off putting his evil genius plan into action. What could POSSIBLY happen next?? READ ON!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kiba found himself hiding in a dumpster. Sure, it was rather cramped. Sure, it smelled like, well, like a dumpster. And sure, it was humiliating beyond belief, but he had been desperate. Those rabid fangirls had followed him around like hounds. He had finally shaken them for a second after he turned a corner and jumped into the nearest thing he could find. Which is how he ended up in a dumpster. That had been about half an hour ago. He had heard nothing from them for a while. Furtively, he stuck his head out. The rain had stopped whilst he was in the dumpster, and the sun had come out. Kiba sniffed the air experimentally. Nope, no sign or scent of rabid fangirls anywhere. He jumped out of the dumpster and shook himself off, much like a dog would. It was then that he noticed that his hood was not on. He gasped.
"GASP!"
He quickly slipped his hood back on, snugly over his head. His hood was... very important to him. It made him feel secure. One could even venture to say that his hood was the equivalent of another's... security blanket. But enough of that. Kiba had other things to worry about. Other things like that look in Hinata's eyes right before he had been so mercilessly trampled.
"I must find out what that look was all about...Maybe, just maybe..."
And with that in mind, he set off to find Hinata. Kiba was a man on a mission. He was also a man who still had little bits of Beggin' Strips falling out of his pocket. But that's beside the point.
After wandering aimlessly around town for a couple of hours, Kiba was about to despair.
"Dammit, where could she be??" He thought to himself. Then, it occurred to him to put his keen dog-like senses to good use. Looking back on it, he should have thought of it in the first place, considering his keen dog-like senses were such a big part of his life, which would have saved him a good couple of hours. But anyways. He gave the area a good couple of whiffs and within minutes caught onto Hinata's scent. Trotting away happily, he soon found her. Surprisingly, she was not standing behind something, watching Naruto. In fact, she seemed as if she were looking for someone.
"Could it be... she's been looking for ME?" Kiba thought excitedly. "Okay Kiba... time to turn on the charm... MAKE HER SWOON!!!"
He sidled up to her and said once more in the sexiest voice he could muster,
"Hey Hinata."
Hinata turned around. She had in fact been waiting for him. She couldn't get that image of him with his sexy damp hair out of her mind since that morning. Once she set eyes on him, she gasped.
"GASP!"
Hinata supressed the urge to gag. The Kiba that stood before her now was horrendous. He had his hood back on, making him seem as if he had unruly lion-hair. With his hood back on and his mane back in place, his razor sharp teeth changed from being sexy to being... hazards. His smoldering red marks now seemed like Indian war paint. Instead of having sexy drops of water sliding down his face, he now had some unknown sticky substance covering a large part of his forehead. In addition to all of this, a putrid smell seemed to float in the air around him. It is suffice to say that the Kiba who now stood before Hinata was SO NOT SEXIFIED. In fact, he was as far from sexified as anyone could get.
As all these thoughts ran through Hinata's head, a completely out of the loop Kiba was still in the act of wooing his dear Hinata.
"I'm so sorry about this morning, Hinata." he continued in the sexiest voice he could muster.
Hinata couldn't take it anymore. She had been trying to be nice by staying and listening to him... If this had been sexified damp-haired Kiba talking to her, Hinata couldn't have cared less about the smell, but as it was, there was no way she was going to stand there and listen to a totally un-sexified Kiba babble on as each breath of that horrendous odor was undoubtedly killing hundreds of her brain cells.
"I was just wondering if uh, you would like too-"
"S-sorry Kiba... I..." Hinata had to interrupt him. She frantically searched for some sort of plausible explanation. She couldn't think of anything.
"...n-need to um... water the lawn... it's... looking a bit... yellow. Gotta go."
With that, she scampered off as fast as her little legs could carry her, breathing in deep breaths of clean air, leaving a very baffled Kiba to contemplate what had just happened. MEANWHILE...
Sasuke found the unfortunate-looking Lee...training.
"Lee."
Lee's head whipped around at the sound of his voice. Flames formed in his eyes.
"AH HAH! You are looking for a fight, am I right?" Lee stood in his battle pose with his right arm out in front in that beckoning gesture.
"Begin."
"No."
"No? OH! Then did you want to enjoy the SPRINGTIME OF YOUR YOUTH with me? We could train together! I'll even give you an extra GREEN SPANDEX OF YOUTH! It really DOES have a positive effect on your workout!"
Sasuke twitched. Springtime of youth? Green SPANDEX of youth? He was beginning to question his decision of choosing Lee to help him exact his revenge. Sasuke turned towards the bushy-eyebrowed boy. Unfortunately, Sasuke had turned at the very moment Lee had decided to do his "I'm OVERLY motivated" pose. Lee had those flames back in his eyes and was yelling out, "HOOOHHHHHH!"
Then, Lee proceeded to punch imaginary figures in the air. Sasuke could think of only one word at this time: "Ewww..." He sniffed in that superior way of his.
"No, Lee. I do not wish to engage in any of those slightly questionable activities with you. I need you to help me do a certain something to a certain someone."
"Umm...what?"
Sasuke sighed. This was going to be much harder and much more painful than he had predicted. But he had no other choice. Lee was the best candidate for the job, and Sasuke REALLY wanted to get those rabid fangirls back, as annoying as they were. They gave him something more to smirk about, other than his OBVIOUS awesomeness.
"Lee, I want you to help me get my revenge."
"OH! You mean on Itachi right?"
That struck a chord in Sasuke. NO ONE, and we mean NO ONE, dared to mention Itachi in front of Sasuke. Except for Lee just now, of course, but that's just because Lee is so ignorant and naïve and all.
"NO, DAMMIT! AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH PAIN I'VE HAD TO GO THROUGH SINCE..."
Sasuke rambled on about his tragic past for about five minutes. Lee listened in awe. A trail of drool dribbled down his chin.
"Wow, that must've sucked," Lee interrupted.
"YES. IT DID...suck," Sasuke ended, rather weakly.
"Anyway, what I came here for in the first place was to request your help with KIBA."
"Kiba? What for?"
"He... stole my rabid fangirls."
"But...isn't that a good thing? I find them quite annoying myself."
"And how would YOU know? I don't see a horde of rabid fangirls constantly following YOU around."
"Yeah, well, I don't' see a horde of rabid fangirls following YOU around right now."
Sasuke's eyes narrowed to slits. A vein popped out in his forehead. Before, Lee had just been an ugly face in the crowd. When Lee beat him in their little fight before the Chuunin exam (which was a total fluke, of course), he had become irritating. Now, Lee was downright INFURIATING.
"SHUT UP. Are you going to help me or not?
"OK! HOOOHHHHHH!!" Flames formed in Lee's eyes, yet again.
Sasuke was about to whisper his brilliant plan full of twists and turns and role reversals in Lee's ear when he realized that he was loathe to move any closer to Lee than was absolutely necessary. So he decided to tell Lee his brilliant plan full of twists and turns and role reversals from where he was presently standing. Lee listened in awe, AGAIN with a trail of drool dribbling down his chin. AGAIN.
Returning to the Kiba we left behind a couple of paragraphs before. Kiba had been in his deep contemplation mode for a while now. Hinata's sudden disappearance had puzzled him so. After thinking very hard about it for a while, he came to the conclusion that Hinata didn't really need to water the lawn as she had claimed. Following another long session of mulling over this new piece of information, Kiba discovered that this meant that Hinata had come up with an excuse to get away from HIM!!!
"Why, WHY would Hinata make up an excuse just to get away from me?? I mean, she was sooo obviously into me this morning... and nothing has changed since then... right?"
As you can see, our poor, dear Kiba is completely oblivious to the power that his sexy damp hair had over women. It never even occurred to him that his hair had anything to do with anything at all. So instead, Kiba looked down at himself. It was then that he noticed the smell emanating from him.
"Well, I DO smell a bit from my little excursion in the dumpster...But that couldn't POSSIBLY be the reason for Hinata's sudden coldness... I REFUSE to believe that she is that shallow..."
(Authors' note: PWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAA... don't you just love the smell of dramatic irony in the morning??)
Kiba then proceeded to think really, really hard about all the things that had happened that morning. He got this really concentrated look on his face, which made him look like he was slightly constipated. In fact, many facial expressions can be interpreted as constipation. But that's beside the point. Soon after he had adopted his constipated-looking-look-that-wasn't-really-constipation-and-was-in-fact-concentration-but-looked-like-constipation-look, Kiba came upon an epiphany. Let us follow his train of thought before this brilliant realization:
"Hmmm... okay, so this morning. I was out looking for Akamaru... and I came across Hinata... said hello... and then noticed that LOOK in her eyes when she saw me... And I was about to make my oh so sexy moves when that abnormally large group of abnormally skinny girls jumped out and knocked me down...I never did find out why they did that, did I?? Huh...that was odd... they just... came out of nowhere and threw themselves at me... They didn't even say hi to Hinata... IN FACT... I do believe they pushed her out of the way...they... pushed her... to get to me... ... ... ..."
This is when Kiba's epiphany struck.
"GASP!!!" He gasped.
"IT WAS THEM! THE RABID FANGIRLS!!! THEY PUSHED HINATA!!! TO GET TO ME!!! AND HINATA BLAMES IT ON ME!!! AGGHHH!!! So now, Hinata is mad at me... which is why she made up that LAME excuse to get away from me... It ALL makes sense now."
The more Kiba thought about it, the angrier he got. Those damn fangirls had ruined EVERYTHING for him. And what if these fangirls went around ruining the lives of other unsuspecting guys as they did his? No, no, no. This was NOT going to do. The rabid fangirls were a danger to society. Something needed to be done. Someone needed to do something about the fangirls. And Kiba decided that that someone was him. For the sake of all future romantic endeavors, Kiba was going to rid the world of the rabid fangirls. With his mind made up, he walked off with the beginnings of a genius (but not evil) plan already forming in his head.