Disclaimer: Gundam wing is not mine.

Sorry for the no update thing last week. Here is a really long chapter of Alone to kinda make up for it. This was really supposed to be a one-shot!

If you read my LJ, you've seen all of this already- sorry ladies!

This goes back and forth between Quatre and Trowa's POV. We start with Q...

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Something was poking me in the cheek. Unpleasant popping noises filled my ears. I opened one eye. Duo was leaning over me the end of his braid smacking my cheek. "Quatre?"

"Duo," I responded, squinting up at him. "What am I doing on the floor?"

"You got shot a few times," he told me. His fingers waggled in front of my face, tinged with red. "See?" He frowned, concerned. "Can't you feel it?" It was supposedly the wounds you didn't feel that killed you.

Now that he drew my attention to it, I could feel it.

There was a sharp ache in my calf and my temple throbbed. I raised a hand up and touched liquid warmth.

"Just grazed there," Duo reassured me as his hands tightened on my leg. "Trowa's on his way."

For a moment relief swept over me. Then I remembered that seeing Trowa wasn't the same as it had been in the past. Trowa was on his way because he was the one with the field med training, not out of any particular concern for me.

"How is he?" I heard Heero call, and I began to register the infrequent popping sounds in the background as gunfire. The noises made my skull pound.

"Still with us," Duo answered. "Need a hand?"

"No. Not many left. Trowa's on his way." I blinked and wondered why I hadn't heard Trowa say anything. Then I realized that the familiar pressure of the headset was missing. Duo's was dangling around his neck, disconnected and I wondered why.

"Feeling cold Quatre?" He asked me and I shook my head. I wasn't cold, not with that warmth trickling down my face and neck. I closed my eyes again. It was too hard to keep them open.

"Quatre!" That wasn't Duo's voice. Something thumped next to me, and then a familiar touch was wiping the blood off my face. "Duo, you should've been putting pressure up here too!" I heard Trowa snap.

"I only have two hands," Duo replied mildly. "And the leg wound looked worse. Plus I had to make do with my stash of supplies- you have all the extra stuff."

"Tighten that up." I felt material being wrapped tightly around my calf.

"Yes sir Dr. Barton."

"Did you manage to clear us a path?" Heero's voice now. The popping noises had stopped.

"Of course." Faint hint of exasperation. Funny how I could still recognize it.

"Did you secure the doors?"

"Yes!" The faint hint was now obvious. "Speaking of, take this," rustling noises, "and lock that one."

I heard the clack of the magnetic seal snap on the door, sealing it shut.

"Well, our backup's here, do we take him down or wait?" Duo asked.

Gentle hands were now busy at my temple where I felt the press of a bandage.

"He's a target," Heero pointed out. "He'll have to stay here."

"But they'll need our help down there," Duo countered.

"I'll stay," Trowa said and I couldn't tell what emotion his voice held. "You two go down and help."

"Okay!" Duo sounded positively cheerful and I wondered why. Was he that eager to leap back into action still? "We'll send someone up when it's secure."

A clatter of footsteps and they were gone. I heard Trowa settle himself into a more comfortable position, the soft click of metal against metal that told me he had his gun ready just in case.

I suppose I should've opened my eyes and let him know that I was conscious, but then I would've had to talk to him. It was easier to lie still and be quiet. Easier to pretend that he was beside me because he cared not because he had to be there.

There was a long silence. I felt the ghostly touch of hands several times over my wounds, checking the bandages. I could hear the sound of running feet and gunfire, but they were all far away. It was kind of pleasant to just drift, Trowa's warmth beside me.

"Damn it Quatre," I nearly jumped when he spoke. His voice was soft but in our little sphere it was loud enough to be shocking. "How did we come to this?"

I opened my eyes with some effort and blinked up at him. He didn't look surprised to see me awake.

"You know how," I managed. "You fell in love with someone else."

"Even if I did," his eyes met mine, "why would that destroy our friendship?"

"You didn't tell me about it." I retorted.

"There was nothing to tell." He frowned. "It was a job- undercover- that's all it was. But you were so damn sure that I would betray you! That I had been betraying you!" His voice rose and I blinked at him, shocked. Trowa never raised his voice.

I tried to collect my wits, my head pounding furiously. "If I wronged you, I'm sorry," I tried, falling back on the familiar comfort of the formal words, the distance they implied helping me to hold myself together.

"You're sorry?" He repeated, his voice softer. "Quatre, you and I were together for years. I was loyal to you, I loved you all that time and now, after your assumptions wrecked our relationship all you can say is sorry?"

I closed my eyes again; my head hurting worse than ever, leg throbbing in pain, but neither one as awful as the tightness in my chest.

It hurt too much. I couldn't deal with this right now. But that wasn't fair to Trowa. I managed to open my eyes again, noting the blackness that had narrowed my sight considerably.

"I am sorry, Trowa," I repeated, knowing that those weren't the words he wanted me to say. I couldn't figure out what he wanted me to say. It was easier to simply close my eyes and let the darkness swallow me.

I cursed to myself as Quatre slipped back into unconsciousness. Idiot! The man was wounded badly and here I was yelling at him. He couldn't deal with this right now. Why the hell had I even started?

Quatre was pale, he had lost quite a bit of blood, and his skin was cool under my touch. I braced myself against the wall and tugged him up into my arms, his head on my shoulder. I made sure my gun hand was free, just in case, and wrapped my other arm around his waist, trying to share my warmth with him.

His weight against me was a familiar comfort, even now. I cuddled him closer, careful of his injures and hoping that help came soon. I watched the rise and fall of his chest and promised myself that the next time Quatre woke up that I would be better in dealing with him. Our relationship argument could wait until he felt better.

I just hoped I could keep that promise. My anger at the man in my arms seemed to be an uncontrollable thing. I truly hadn't meant to lash out at him like that.

Footsteps pounded up the stairs a while later. I lifted the gun but put it down again at the sound of Duo's familiar whistle.

"Ready to go Trowa?" He grinned. "Or are you too comfortable to move?" He leaned over and braced Quatre as I got to my feet. I holstered my gun and then picked Quatre up.

"Are the EMTs here?" I asked Duo as we started down the stairs.

"Yes. How is he?"

"Not good. He's lost a lot of blood."

"He'll pull through- Quatre always does."

I didn't reply. Quatre had not wanted to pull through this one.

That thought made me tighten my arms around the man in my arms.

He would not escape me that easily.

Rashid was at the hospital when we arrived there. I noted his presence, but not much more than that. They wheeled Quatre off into the emergency surgery and ushered all of us into a private waiting room.

I leaned against the wall, eyes closed as Duo and Heero filled Rashid in on what happened at the factory. What a complete mess we had made, though I guessed that Une was pleased, despite the botch we had made of our original orders.

"So that's what happened," Duo finished up.

"I see." Rashid's voice was dark. "Well, I will take care of things from here. I am sure you four have other business to attend to. I will call you when the doctors let me know how Master Quatre is doing."

"We're staying," Wufei stated flatly, sounding faintly offended.

"We wouldn't leave," Duo added. I opened my eyes to see Rashid frowning. "You know us better than that, Rashid."

"Do I?" The big man frowned. Heero gave me a raised eyebrow look and I shrugged back. I had never told the others why Quatre and I separated. At the time I hadn't wanted to deal with their well-meaning interference. Now I was realizing that it was another mistake on my part.

"Rashid?" Duo was frowning now. "Fill us in? What are you so pissed off about?"

Rashid opened his mouth to answer when there was a light tapping on the doorframe. A doctor stood in the doorway, his surgical scrubs bloodied.

"You are the gentlemen waiting to hear about the gunshot victim?"

"Yes," Rashid answered.

"I'm terribly sorry, but he died on the table." The doctor shrugged apologetically. "We did the best that we could, but he had simply lost too much blood, and with the trauma of the gunshot wounds..."

His mouth was moving still, but I had ceased to hear. I hadn't realized that my knees had given way until I found myself looking up at Heero. He was leaning over me where I was slumped against the wall, one hand gripping my shoulder tightly.

"Trowa," he said, his voice harsh with his own grief. I covered my face with my hands, blocking him out.

Sadness. Pain. Regret.

Regret was the worst. If only I had tried explaining to Quatre that he was wrong when he had handed me those pictures. Sure, I had told him what- an hour ago?- that he had been wrong, but I had yelled at him. He had been dying and I had thrown his apology back in his face.

My anger seemed like a petty thing now.

"Trowa-" Heero's voice again. I uncovered my face to find my friend looking at me regretfully. Over his shoulder I could see the doctor still standing in the doorway, Quatre's blood drying on his clothes.

Rashid was shaking. Wufei had gotten to his feet and was talking to him quietly, one hand on the older man's arm.

Rashid suddenly threw him off.

"His death is on your hands!" He yelled at Wufei and then turned to me. "You killed him with your betrayal!"

The other three pilots blinked, bewildered at Rashid's accusation.

I was suddenly furious. I got to my feet.

"I didn't betray Quatre!"

"LIAR! We followed you! You and your lover!" He shoved out at Wufei again. Chang avoided him easily, still looking puzzled.

"We were on a case idiot! Undercover!" Rashid looked startled. I stalked towards Rashid, letting my anger wash away the pain. I knew it would be back, but here was a target. The one who had given my lover the false evidence that Quatre had believed so easily. And why not? Wasn't Rashid his trusted friend?

But hadn't I been his trusted friend too? Or had I lost his trust somewhere along the way?

"But you left him anyway!" Rashid shot back, recovering quickly. "You were never good enough for him."

I punched Rashid hard across his face, sending him back into the wall. I noticed the doctor waving his hands in the air frantically. Duo, Heero and Wufei stood like statues.

Rashid's last statement hung in the air like a judgment and I knew it for the truth.

I stared at the man on the floor, clenching my fists. Quatre would be appalled by this, wherever he was now.

"Can someone fill me in here?" Duo asked calmly. "What exactly is going the hell on?"

"Rashid took photos of Wufei and me when we did that sting operation months ago- the one where we had to pretend to be a couple? He showed them to Quatre- told him that I was cheating on him." I ground out, still furious.

"And Quatre believed it?" Wufei's voice rose in shock.

"Obviously," I snarled, waiting for Rashid to get to his feet.

"Excuse me!" The doctor raised his voice and we all turned to look at him. "Did you say Quatre?"

"Yes, Quatre Winner," Wufei snapped.

"That's not the name of the man who died." The doctor consulted his clipboard. "I must've gone into the wrong waiting room."

What? I blinked. He hadn't said...?

I may have been in shock, but Heero wasn't. He snarled.

"That's a bit of a mistake. Are you sure? How did your patient die?"

The doctor took a step backwards and looked a bit panicked. "Two gunshot wounds to the chest," he managed.

Then it wasn't Quatre. I could've hugged the doctor- if I didn't strangle him first.

"I'll just go find his family..."

"What about Quatre?" Heero stopped the doctor before he could flee.

"Your friend? I'm sure he's fine. We have some great doctors here..." Heero released the doctor and he fled.

Duo turned back to me. Rashid was getting to his feet, one hand on the side of his face where my blow had landed.

"Okay. Quatre is okay for the moment- I hope."

"I'll go find out," Heero left the waiting room, his face set in a death glare. I almost pitied the person he'd interrogate.

"So, like I was saying- fill us in?" Duo turned to me.

The nurse was chattering cheerily at me as she wrapped the bandage around my leg. I just kind of nodded at her in reply as I wondered what the hell I was going to do next. My head was aching badly and it wasn't helping my concentration any.

I had woken up in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. That wasn't pleasant. Once here I refused to be put under again for them to get the bullet out of my leg. It wasn't that deep. The wound on my temple required a few stitches but that was minor as well.

I watched the nurse and thought about Trowa. He didn't want my apology. I couldn't really blame him. There was no way to make this up to him that I could see. If he were that angry with me there would be little I could say to make him change his mind. It had apparently been made up months ago when he hadn't told me what was really going on after I had accused him of cheating. Otherwise, wouldn't he have said something then? Defended himself?

A part of me was furious that he hadn't said anything. Why wait until now to tell me the truth? But I had told him that I suspected him all along- and I had to wonder if I would've believed him if he had told me then. I had pretty much made up my mind that our relationship was irreparably broken.

It might be better to just back away from this situation for a while- but hadn't I done that already?

There was no hope of resurrecting our former relationship- I knew that, and accepted it as I had months ago when I had ended it. But if there were even a chance of rebuilding our friendship I would have to try.

Though how in the hell I was going to accomplish that- I had no idea.

The curtain around my bed was suddenly thrown back and a frowning Heero appeared. The nurse jumped. "Sir! You can't be in here!" She protested as Heero stalked to the side of the bed.

"Quatre," Heero's frown vanished and he looked relieved. "You're okay?"

"Fine," I replied, puzzled at his sudden appearance.

"Sir!" The nurse protested again. We both ignored her.

"Can you walk on that?" Heero asked, nodding towards my leg.

"Not well."

"Lean on me then. We have a bit of a problem." Heero held out a hand. I took it and nearly fell off of the bed when I tried to get up. Heero wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me upright.

"He needs to rest!" The nurse snapped.

"Unless you want a situation in your hospital, he needs to come with me." Heero snapped back and practically dragged me out of the emergency room.

My feet barely touched the floor. Heero was supporting all my weight with his arm. Which was good, since I doubted I could've made this walk by myself- especially at the pace Heero had set.

"Heero- what's going on?" I questioned as we headed down a hallway at a fast clip.

"A doctor told us you were dead."

"WHAT?"

"He made a mistake. However during the time that we believed you to be dead, Rashid accused Trowa of betraying you, Trowa punched him and things are now a bit tense."

I blinked, my head starting to ache more. Shit.

"Quatre? What happened?" I knew what he meant.

"Rashid took pictures of Trowa and Wufei on some mission where they had to pretend to be a couple. He brought them to me as proof that Trowa was unfaithful."

"And you believed him?" Heero shook his head. "I guess photos are good evidence..." His voice trailed off.

"I believed him without looking at the photos." I admitted. "Trowa and I- things had not been going well and I looked elsewhere for blame."

"But when Trowa explained things to you, didn't that make you think that you might've been incorrect?"

"Trowa didn't explain anything at the time. I didn't know that nothing had been going on until a few hours ago."

Heero's arm tightened slightly.

"Why didn't he explain? That's not logical!"

"I'm sure Trowa had his reasons," I sighed as we passed empty waiting rooms.

"BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU!" I heard Wufei's voice thunder. This was not going to be pleasant. Heero turned us towards a doorway.

Inside the room Rashid stood glaring at Wufei who was glaring back, practically vibrating with anger. Duo was standing between them, hands on both of their chests. Trowa was standing behind Wufei, his mouth set in a grim line.

"I did what I needed to do for Master Quatre," Rashid snapped.

"And I thank you for it," I replied before Wufei could say anything. They turned to look at me and the mix of expressions was interesting. "You have always been a good friend to me Rashid." I finished.

"He lied to you!" Wufei took a step towards me. "I would never do such a thing..."

"He did not mean to lie. He told the truth as he saw it." I countered when Wufei drew a breath. "No, it was not true, but he made his mistake out of concern for me." I wished the pounding in my head would stop. This situation looked- felt explosive and I needed to stop it before it blew up out of hand.

I let go of Heero and leaned against the doorframe. "Rashid- please go get the car ready and wait for me there."

"But Master Quatre- I can't leave you here." Rashid looked at the other pilots narrowly. Duo frowned at that and opened his mouth.

"I will be just fine. I will join you soon," I let my voice harden just a little. Rashid knew the tone well. He nodded.

"Very well, Master Quatre." And he strode out of the room. I waited patiently as we heard his footsteps fade away.

"Quatre," Wufei started, as I knew he would. "How could you believe such slander?"

"Jealousy is not logical Wufei," I replied. "As you know very well."

"But surely Trowa told you-"

"Trowa did not confide details of his assignments to me," I cut him off again. "That's against regulations and you know it."

"But when you showed him the pictures..."

I met Trowa's gaze and he nodded slightly. I was expecting him to explode into anger as well after what had happened earlier, but he didn't seem angry anymore.

"I didn't defend myself," Trowa said quietly before I could reply. "I didn't explain anything to Quatre until a few hours ago."

"WHAT?" That was Wufei and Duo. I felt Heero shift beside me.

Trowa moved closer to me and put out a hand to rest on my shoulder. "You're shaking Quatre. I don't think this is a good time to be having this discussion."

I blinked, surprised by his concern. "I'll be fine if I can sit down," I told him. "I think we're a bit overdue for it."

"I will go tell Rashid that Duo and I will be driving you home later." Heero said suddenly. "Duo, Wufei- come with me please."

"What?" Wufei started. Duo gave Heero a startled glance and then grinned. He grabbed Wufei's arm.

"Right, c'mon Chang!"

And just like that, Trowa and I were alone.