DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! Sadly
Hey ya'll! I am truly sorry this took so long to get on! I am! I started school, blah, and I didn't have much time! But now its here! Hope you enjoy! Review PLEASE!
Love, FireboltPrincess
Chapter 3: Cutting Guilt
The luminous moon, the terrifying wolf, the thunderous pounding of her heart...
Lily's eyelids flickered open. Darkness pressed against her. Frantically she sat upright, not remembering where she was. She panted heavily as the atmosphere around her became more familiar. Leaning over, she grabbed her watch from the bedside table. It read six o'clock in the morning.
Lily threw the watch down and ran a hand through her hair. She breathed slow and deep, shaking out her unsteadiness. She drew back the dark red hangings around her four-poster and blinked as the pale sunshine poured in from the window across the dormitory.
She swung her legs out of bed and walked over to the water jug under the window. She poured herself a glass of water and brought the cup to her lips, gazing out of the window. Then, slowly, she lowered the glass.
Lily gazed out on the pale grounds, the lake dull and silent. Strange, the way the grounds look so innocent even boring, yet last night they sent terror and alarm in the full moon. The events of the night before came flooding back, making Lily's brain swim. The mysterious stag played over and over in her mind as the sun rose higher into the hazy sky. Lily couldn't shake the image of the horse's eyes from her head. There was something peculiar yet tranquil in those eyes, she just couldn't put her finger on it.
Sighing, she crawled back into her bed and laid her head on her pillow. Lily stared up into her hangings, the sun rising higher, filling the room with soft sunlight. She lie in bed, thinking, for a while. Only when she heard all of her fellow roommates up and about, did she get up again and change into her robes.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
At breakfast, Lily was deep in conversation with Joanna when a large barn owl swooped in front of her, a letter attached to its leg. The owl clicked its beak impatiently as she untied the letter then soared back towards the Owlery. Assuming it was from her parents, she opened the letter.
"What is it?" Jo asked, taking a sip of pumpkin juice. Lily shrugged and read the letter aloud.
Dear Miss Evans,
Tonight is an assigned Head meeting with your Head of House and Head Boy. You are expected to meet in your Head of House's office at promptly eight o'clock to discuss your new responsibilities and duties.
Signed,
Professor McGonagall
Lily gaped at the letter then slowly looked down the table at James. He finished his letter and glanced back up at her, grinning. She groaned and sunk her head into her hands. Jo grabbed the letter from her and examined it, Shirley reading it over her shoulder.
"Oh, for Heavens sake! Hand in your badge then!" Jo said irritably. "If he's that bad, you need to tell him off or something, honestly."
Lily dropped her hands and glared at her. She opened her mouth to remark, but Shirley cleared her throat loudly, settling the matter. Lily dropped her eyes and glared savagely at her cornflakes.
"Lets go, I'm not hungry anymore," She said pushing her bowl away.
"Agreed," Jo said standing up. She winced and rubbed her ribs tenderly as she swung her bag over her shoulder. Shirley frowned at her own cornflakes, but followed them out of the hall.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
At a quarter till, Lily bade her friends goodnight, pushed open the portrait door and clambered out into the corridor. She arrived in front of Professor McGonagall's office right on time. She knocked and the door swung open.
"Miss Evans, please take a seat," Professor McGonagall's voice came from in her office. Lily walked in and sat down in one of the two chairs in front of the desk. Professor McGonagall was busy writing, so she didn't start immediately. After a minute or two of silence and the scratching of the quill, she finished and put down her quill.
"Well, it seems like Mr. Potter is late in joining---" Just then, the office door flew open and James came sprinting in.
"I'm sorry Professor, I forgot---"
"No matter, Potter. Take a seat," She said briskly. James nodded and smiled at Lily, sitting down in the empty seat next to her. Lily ignored this and turned back to Professor McGonagall, who shuffled the pile of parchment in front of her and surveyed the two through her glasses perched on her nose.
"I will start this meeting off by saying I hope you both understand how much responsibility it is to be Head Boy and Head Girl. Your behavior reflects greatly on your House and your Head of House. As both of you are from Gryffindor, I will remind you that I expect great commitment and care towards your duties. You are to arrive on time and respectfully; any misbehavior will have consequences," said Professor McGonagall. Lily nodded, looking at her intently. James made a distinct noise from his throat, acknowledging this warning. Professor McGonagall continued to tell the two the different duties they would have to work: supervise the decoration of the castle during Christmas, patrol the corridors at night, and watch over the first and second years during holidays.
"You also have been given a Head room for your use only by Professor Dumbledore," Professor McGonagall said, standing up. "If you both will follow me---"
"Room?" Lily and James asked together.
"Yes, the Heads room. Come with me," Professor McGonagall strode form her office; Lily and James right on her heels.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Three floors later, they walked briskly, turning down a dimly lit corridor. There was nothing in this corridor besides an old portrait of a slim and pointed wizard, snoozing in a large armchair. Lily continued walking, expecting to turn at the next corridor, but collided into James as he stopped with Professor McGonagall in front of the picture. She rammed into James and fell backwards, but James caught her wrist; stopping her before she hit the ground. A strange rush of energy sped down her spine when he grabbed for her hand. He pulled her to her feet.
"Thanks," Lily mumbled. She went to dust herself off and they both realized that they were still holding hands. James and Lily both blushed and dropped their arms to their sides. Lily mentally kicked herself and hardened her face as she turned to the portrait. The slim wizard jerked awake and peered groggily at the three of them.
"What do you--- oh yes..." The wizard rubbed his eyes and stared at them, clearly annoyed with being woken from his slumber. "You want to enter. Yes...on with it, on with it--- password?"
"Billywig," Professor McGonagall said plainly to the portrait. The pointed wizard nodded impatiently and swung open to a large wooden door with the Hogwarts Head crest on it. Professor McGonagall opened the door and stepped over the threshold. Lily gasped as she walked in behind Professor McGonagall.
It was a round, warm room; much like the Gryffindor common room. There was a round table and two chairs in the corner to Lily's right. To her left, a soft sofa and two large squashy armchairs surrounded a fire crackling merrily in the fireplace against the wall. Bookshelves lined the walls all the way around the room. Books of every size and subject sat on their shelves, the writing on the books spines glittered in the glow of the fire. Directly across the room, four bulky bust statues of the Hogwarts founders stood neatly against the wall under the high window.
"This is the Heads room," said Professor McGonagall. "You both are privileged to spend your time here to get away from the noise and distractions of the common room, ad these books are yours to use for your studies if you wish." Lily walked to the nearest bookshelf and ran a finger over the glittering spines of the books. James flopped down in one of the spongy armchairs, a grin spread across his face. Professor McGonagall strode to the door, but turned and addressed the two.
"You are still expected to be back in your common room within curfew, this does not excuse you. Do you understand?"
Lily and James nodded in agreement and Professor McGonagall left, closing the door behind her. Once the door closed, James jumped up from his chair and strolled casually over to Lily, who had pulled a book off the shelf and was flipping through the pages.
"What's that?" He bent down and read the title of the book Lily was holding. "Ah, Jinxes For the Jinxed---fascinating. Reckon that's what Heads do in their free time...just...read---" Lily snapped the book shut.
"Potter, I know you don't take this very seriously, but you could at least try to act your age." Lily said completely annoyed. "Or is that beneath you?"
"But that wouldn't be very enjoyable, now would it?" James answered innocently.
"Oh yes, I quite forgot," Lily said icily. "Strutting around the castle, breaking rules, and making a fool of yourself is great fun isn't it?"
When James didn't answer, Lily spun her head around ready to spit another remark at him, but stopped short at the look on his face. He was looking at the ground, he was flushed and a hurt expression was etched deep in his face. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Lily's stomach twisted hard and a large knot filled her throat.
"Err...um...I'm going to...erm...go...now," she stammered, terribly aware of the painful clenching in her stomach, making her feel like she was going to be sick. James looked up as she hurried past him and out of the Head room.
Lily rushed out into the corridor and ran up the nearest marble staircase, wanting to put as many floors between her and that room. She sprinted up more and more staircases, and then slowed down as she came to the Fat Lady's portrait. She stopped and leaned against the wall next to the portrait, clutching a stitch in her side.
"What's the hurry, dear?" asked the Fat Lady, peering closely at Lily. Lily shook her head breathed deeply. Oh for Heavens sake, pull yourself together! Lily cursed. She stood up, muttered the password, and climbed through the portrait hole.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
When the portrait door opened, Lily came face to face with Joanna.
"I was just coming to find---" Jo peered at Lily. "What's the matter?" Lily shook her head but grabbed Jo's hand to lead her up to the dormitories. She glimpsed Shirley sitting over by the fire, chatting and laughing openly with Remus. She noticed Remus looked tired and had dark rings under his eyes. Pushing this aside, she strode up the staircase.
Lily made sure that the dormitory was empty before she threw herself down and groaned loudly into her bed. She heard Jo's bed squeak as she sat down, looking at Lily.
"Again, I repeat: what's wrong?" Lily didn't answer but groaned even louder into her covers. Jo snorted. Lily lifted her head and glowered at her.
"Nothings wrong, alright? Can't I just wallow in my own problems for a moment? And will you stop grinning at me!" Lily said irritably.
"Fine!" Jo said, throwing up her hands. "I won't bother in the future; you don't have to bite my head off---"
"Oh okay! Fine! I'll tell you, if you really want to know---" Lily said pompously. Jo rolled her eyes and smiled sweetly back at her. Lily's face hardened as she looked down at her hands, hopelessness in her eyes. Jo lost her sarcastic look and stared concerned back at her. Lily sighed.
"I-I...I felt..." she gulped. "...g-guilt." Jo looked puzzled.
"I felt guilt...," Lily looked up. "Seven years worth."
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Awww! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Click the review button please! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!