Just a little Fanfic idea I got from a daydream. Let me warn you though: things tend to spin out of control in my daydreams, so...You read at your own risk. Okay...Here goes nothing! I wrote this one a while ago in script format so I almost got kicked off FFN...XD. Then I revised it to make it this weird thing, which is now, well...weird. And not as funny as the script format. Oh well...I think I've got one strike left since I was so stubborn...I'm scared...I'm even re-doing the parts where I talk to the characters...

But first, let's have Charmy do the disclaimers.

Charmy says "Evangel-blader does not own Sonic or any related logos, Spongebob Squarepants or any related logos, or Veggietales or any related logos for "

Evangel-blader "Comedial..."

Charmy continues, "Whatever-she-said reference. They are solely the property of SEGA, Nickelodeon and Big Idea. Can I have my potato chips now?"

Evangel-blader, "Oh! You're so CUTE!"

The Scenario:

A game has just ended, and all of the cast from Sonic Heroes has come to pay their respects to a recently lost hero; Sonic the Hedgehog. Before Sonic is to be buried six feet under, they each take turns entering the catacomb where his body is being readied.

Tails is the first to enter the candlelit room. He isn't crying, but clasps his hands tightly at his chest and bites his lip as he sees the body of his best friend lying there.

Tails' lip quivers as he starts to speak. "Sonic...Sonic...Sonic? Why...why'd you have to let go... We were best friends—and I looked up to you. Now I'm gonna have to look down...into the ground. Sonic...I'm so sorry... "

Suddenly an idea pops into his head and he perks up.

"Hey, Sonic! Do think that if I were to make you into an android, you'd come back to life? It's possible! If I were just to create the right prosthetics to replace the lost ligaments and make a surrogate vitality fluid I'd be able to—"

(A/N: That's enough, Tails...We don't need the technicalities for now...)


Knuckles is next in line, and as he enters, a tear is visible in his eye.

"Sonic... At least let me have done you in!"

He suddenly bursts out crying.

"Hey! Who left this bowl of onions here?!" he exclaims as he picks up the bowl and throws it in garbage.

"Anyway, Sonic..." he resumes the conversation. "I always knew you were weak! You should've stood up and fought! If you were guarding the Master Emerald you'd be fired by now! If not dead first and—"

He suddenly stops yelling and his lip trembles.

"OH SONIC! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DIE! I never told you how much I really liked you...I'm SO SORRY YOU NEVER KNEW!"


Shadow then enters solemnly, keeping his eyes on the sapphire hedgehog. He comes to a sudden stop at the side of the tablet the body is laid on. You can see the glisten of a tear in his eye, but it refuses to fall. After a long silence, he finally speaks.

"What a pathetic excuse for attention. I KNOW YOU'RE FAKING YOUR DEATH! Give it up, Faker!"


Rouge enters in much the same way as Shadow, but wipes a stream of tears with a handkerchief gingerly. As she reaches the pedestal, she kneels down and takes a hold of Sonic's cold hand.

"Oh Sonic...Why...First Shadow you! Why does this pain always happen when I get close to someone? Am I forsaken? Am I a curse upon those who care for me? I should just wipe myself off the face of the earth and—Oh! Hey—are those buckles on your shoe real gold? Seeing as you won't be needing those anymore..."

(A/N: Hey! Get back here, you thief!)


Omega saunters in, breaking the impending silence of the room with heavy clanks of footfalls. He stops short of the pedestal and analyzes the image before him.

"Subject identified as Sonic the Hedgehog. No vital forces detected from subject. Searching databases for life form match...Match identified...A fellow artificial intelligence."

Omega replies in the only other language known to him: 011101101000101010001011010001010...


Amy, who had been jumping around in line finally rushes in, eager to get her turn with her beloved. She hangs on tightly to the handkerchief in her hand as she throws herself over the lifeless body, weeping uncontrollably. She's so choked up that she can hardly speak for a while.

"OH SONIC! WHY WHY WHY?!! No... This can't be happening...My love! My passion! My life has gone with you! All the way up to heaven where you came from, my angel! My sweetheart! If you come back to me, my love, I promise never to use my Piko Piko hammer as a threat to you ever again! But I'll whack you if you don't return! Oh Sonic, if we only had one more chance! One more chance to make it perfect..."

(A/N: Amy, this was meant to be a one-shot fic, meaning only one chapter long. I think we're dying listening to you...)

Amy lifts her head and scowls at the ceiling. "Oh Sonic! You were too young! Now we can never marry and have kids together!"

(A/N: -T Shouldn't you grow up first?)

"Love knows no boundaries!"

(A/N: -- A preteen mother... What's this earth coming to...?)


Cream closes the door slowly and quietly behind her, a sullen look on her face as Cheese follows closely behind. Cream steps up to the pedestal and stands on tip-toe to see his face. She begins to cry.

"Sonic... I just want to say thank you. You...were always saving Cheese and I, and we owe a lot to you...Thank you..."

Cheese starts whimpering as well. "Chao chao..."

"I know, Cheese. I remember that..."

"Chao chao chao chao..."

"I wish that, too..."

"Chao...chao..."

"Cheese...Please stop...You're only making me...making me...OH CHEESE! HOLD ME!"


Big expresses his feelings the best. "Froggy? Where are you?"


Espio enters cautiously, but not a single tear or glisten of the eye shows emotion. He's almost like a robot it's scary...As he approaches the pedestal, he clasps his hands as if praying, lowers his head and closes his eyes. He reaches into a...um...pocket...somehow...and places it on top of Sonic's chest.

"Well, you weren't evil. So I'm not sure why you died, but may the spirits unite with yours and beware my ninja powers if they try to do you wrong. I have failed to protect you, and my training has been a waste of time. I just hope that you will keep my duckie safe. Amen."

(A/N: No comment.)


Charmy zooms into the room, seemingly unaware of the situation. He buzzes around Sonic a couple of times before diving down and landing on the pedestal beside him.

"Sonic? Sonic! SONIC! Wow, you're a strong sleeper! Even Vector's easier to wake up than you! Come on! I wanna go play! I wanna go eat potato chips with you and fight Eggman, that bad man! Sonic! Wake up! Amy's coming with her hammer and—Ooooh! Rubber duckie! runs off with it Hope you don't mind me borrowing! I'm gonna go play by the sea, sea, sea!"

(A/N: I gotta get better security...)


Vector dances into the room, headphones on and blasting his favourite song and not paying attention to his surroundings.

Vector sings, oblivious. "Who let the crocs out? Who...who...who, who?"

He trips over the pedestal.

"Charmy! I know you put this rock here! gets up and sees Sonic now on the floor picks up the body, places it back on the pedestal and looks around nervously Sorry 'bout that, Sonic. Nobody saw that, right?"

Vector puts his headphones back on and shuffles out of the room, whistling to sound innocent. He notices the candles and looks back to Sonic's oddly placed body (now flat on his face, arms and legs hanging off the sides of the tablet). Vector hurries over to some of the candles.

"Hope you don't mind me borrowin'... I haven't paid the lighting bills for the office..." He starts singing again. "Oh, da, da, da, da... I let the croc out...me...me...me, me..."

(A/N: Hey! This isn't free-sample day, people!)


Evangel-blader: Whoo...that was...weird. If you made it to the end, I congratulate you—it must've been hard. I know that my sense of humour leaves something to be desired. So please review if you liked it. Or, if you didn't like it...Flames are often motivational. If you're lucky it might get my mind not to wander during the day. So, that's it...Ciao!

Vector, "Hey, wait a minute! You forgot someone!"

Evangel-blader, "No I didn't...Let's see...Tails-y, Knukoruru, Rouge-y, Shad-y, Omeggy-miggy, Ames, Creamy, Biggy, Espi, Charmy-charm, Vecta—"

Knuckles, "You've got pet names for us all?"

Evangel-blader, "Why not? I feel it gives encouragement while playing."

Knuckles, "Okaay..."

Cheese, "Chao! Chao!"

Cream, "Um, excuse me, miss author-lady, but someone's getting away with Sonic."

Evangel-blader, " What? It's not just his things anymore?!"

Eggman, "MUHAHAHA! You're mine, Sonic! Now I can get rid of you as I want! Hm...how should I kill you, first of all?"

Amy, "BRING BACK MY SONIC, YOU EGGHEAD OR I'LL WHACK YOU WITH MY—"

Tails, "Hey! Eggman! Do you have a thermonuclear power transferor? I need it to rebuild Sonic!"

Shadow, "For a doctor with an intelligence quotient of 300, he's not very smart, is he?"

Evangel-blader, "Nope...Is that a good or a bad thing?"

Charmy, "I still didn't get my potato chips..."