Part II: Deleted Scenes from 'You're Sending Us to School!'

Foreword: Most of these chapters are short and (in my opinion) humorous. It's meant to fill in the gaping holes that have haunted me. No, for real! They're right behind you! Boogieboogieboogie! Ahem. Keep in mind that I want you to laugh hysterically at most of these (even if they're not all that funny). The first chapter is the gag reel, but I'm putting up the real first chapter, too.

DISCLAIMER: nope. Don't own it.

Chapter 0: Gag Reel

A: Magazine

Hiei sat in a tree far from the Hogwarts castle. All of the hype in there was distracting. Not to mention the fact that he'd found a certain interesting something floating around in the Slytherin common room and had nicked it.

Oh, this was interesting. Wait, was that true? Did- No, it couldn't be... Holy- Oh, that's incriminating evidence! Where did they get that picture from? This was juicy stuff! Kurama would not be happy about this... Where in the world did they find that out?! Oh, look, there was- Now that was a compromising position to be in! Hah! They'd both be furious if they fo- Okay, that was just completely unnecessary information. And he knew that that was a completely unbased conclusion...

Well, that was satisfying enough to read. Hiei decided that picking up Pansy's copy of Modern-Day Romeo Magazine: Suichi Minamino had been a good enough idea. Carelessly, the fire demon tossed it over his shoulder and onto the forest floor as he leapt to another tree.

LATER...

"Filthy humans! Disturbing our forest and then littering... How dare they!" Ronan raged as he waved the trash around.

"What in Hades's name is this, anyway?" the centaur asked suddenly, and flipped open the book.

"...Huh?"

LATER THAT NIGHT...

"Ronan, in Zeus's name are you reading?!" Bane asked, snatching the flimsy thing out of the other centaur's hands.

"Return that to me now, Bane! I was not yet finished with it!"

"This is a human publication, Ronan. I cannot forgive that off-"

"I implore that you return that to me!"

"...Is it so addictive, Ronan?"

"Read and find out."

EARLY THAT MORNING...

"Bane! Ronan! Have you been up all night? And what is that-?"

"Magorian! Come and read this!"

Magorian scanned the magazine for a few minutes before shaking his head and tossing it into the fire. The screams of Bane and Ronan rang all over the forest as Magorian trotted away.

The things those youngsters take interest in... It never ceases to amaze me.

And with that the centaur flipped open his copy of Centaur Smut Weekly.

B: Dirty Work

Somehow, he managed to get his anger under control and hung up his end of the plate. He wanted sooo badly to just go, "Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!". Well, actually, he wanted to go, "Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!", but he still needed his Death Eaters to do his dirty work for him. Which reminded Voldemort...

"Lucius! The dishes aren't done, dammit! GET TO WORK! Bella! Next time you do the laundry, do it right! My robes are three sizes too small and this one has a bloody wine stain on it! And Wormtail, why is Nagini just sitting there? When was the last time you fed her, you imbecile?!"

"Oh. Uh. I was su- supposed to f-feed h-her, M-m-master?"

Long pause.

"NOOOOOOO! NAGINI!! DIE, RAT, DIE!!!"

C: Getting to Know Voldy-Poo

"I'd like to know what his real name is, if you don't mind," This asked Harry, and Yusuke and Kuwabara nodded.

"What makes you think that Lord Voldemort's not his real name?"

Thia let out a sound that was a cross between a disbelieving sigh and a laugh.

"What kind of freak would name her son Voldemort? I mean, if you translate it literally by breaking up the words, the name means 'flight from death'."

"Oh. His name is Tom Marvolo Riddle."

Kuwabara and Yusuke broke out into laughter. "Ha! Marvolo? What's that, some kind of washing detergent?"

D: Analyzing the Enemy

"Hey, do you think that the whole world domination plan will all work out, with Voldemort on the Human World and Tsurin in Spirit World?" Thia asked Kurama.

"Not really."

"Me neither. When you're a world dominator, you can't have a partner. Someone always kills the other."

"So... That means you're going to kill me?" Kurama asked, eyes wide.

"Oops."

E: Mud What?

"Babies of the Mud! Now bow to the All-Powerful Lord Tsurin, you foolish humans!"

Cue the evil laugh.

"WAAAAAH! DADA!!!" one of the mud babies cried, and the others soon followed suit.

"Whew, that is one powerful smell! GET SOME DIAPERS, YOU CHEAPO!" Yusuke screamed at the top of his lungs.

F: Sold!

Genkai shook her head. "We never knew about the Pearl or the Peridot. What we were trying to do was sell Dumbledore's snot green stuffed monkey. He can't live without it, so Kingsley, Remus, and I decided to sell it, as a joke. We wanted to see how far Albus was willing to go to get it back."

"Which is why they were attacked. Naturally, Botan wouldn't know that I was the one who sent those people to retrieve Mr. Boom-Boom."

"Mr. Boom-Boom?!" was the incredulous exclaim from the "younger" set.

"Yes. Mr. Boom-Boom." Dumbledore pulled the stuffed monkey from the folds of his robes. "Mr. Boom-Boom, say hello to my students."

In a high-pitched squeak, he added, "Hello, students!"

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama, and Thia all sat completely still before edging away, slowly but surely, and then breaking into a run.

"All this time, we've been under the leadership of a psycho!" Hermione said to the rest of the group in general.

"Do you think it's too late to join Voldemort?" was Harry's question.

"Yes. How about we form our own world domination group?" Thia asked, winking at Kurama, who smiled a very, very evil smile.

Author's Notes: I originally had one or two more sections of this, but I lost them when la computadora crashed. Well, actually, the floppy disks that I used to store this on somehow corrupted that particular part. And the beginning of the next chapter. ::sighs::

Okay, and I think that I didn't explain it well, and people thought that I actually live in the Philippines... Um, well, no, I live in New York (and I go to Stuyvesant HS ::brag::). I just know about the Filipino school schedule because my mom's a Filipina and when I went there in the summer one year, none of my cousins were at home to play with me.

Responses:

Arano Honou—::ogles:: Ten out of ten!? COOL! Thanks for your help with the C2 thing- I think I understand it a little better now. Yeah, the sequel is- hopefully going to be written! She just rejected her initial idea for the sequel because, frankly, it stunk. Shut up, Thia. It's on its way. I'm writing the first chapter over again, so... Thanks for reading! And reviewing!

Jessica, Everqueen—Your support of a sequel is noted! Thanks for reviewing!

poltergeist report 101, RikoRishodeathangeloflight, Cattibrie393, Ronin of Greenwood, wolfer —Thanks for all your reviews!

slave2anime—Oh, but they were good! My potential title sucks. Badly. Bobby: HEY! I was the one who thought up that title! My point exactly.

Meghann—Oh yeah, I remember that one! Bobby: How could you forget it? You didn't stop muttering it under your breath and giggling until I had to gag you. Ahem! So, well, here are the Deleted Scenes! Thanks sooo much for reviewing!!!

Rose—Thia: I'm also disappointed that I didn't get any kissage at the end! But nooo, I have to be the timid one and I have to wait for him to kiss me. THAT'S NOT FAIR, R.I.P! ::gags Thia:: Uh, sorry for that. ::whispering:: P... M... S... Oh, wait...::tearing up:: My loyal reader??? ::sobs:: Bobby: Gah! I'm surrounded by over-emotional alter-egos! So: Thank you! Or: 'You're Welcome!', whichever one I'm supposed to say to you!