A.N.: 'Kay, I won't make this long. Just a poll question to make me feel guilty: How many people who have me on Author Alert got freaked out when they saw that I had a new story out and thought it was the sequel? And who's ready to kill me 'cause it wasn't? Yeah. Sorry about that. Kleptomaniacal was a little... unplanned. A brain burst at the most inopportune time.

DISCLAIMER: I really don't own YYH or HP. Really. So, uh... don't... sue?

Chapter 01: Travel

"No."

"But-"

"Is your hearing deteriorating, Kurama? NO." One look at that- that thing made of flimsy metal by fool-hardy humans had decided it. No way in HELL was Hiei going to board it.

Kurama sighed in exasperation, fully ready to either 1) drag the fire demon onto the plane by his shirt collar, or 2) just leave him.

"Oh, fine. If the shrimp is afraid of heights, that's his problem," Kuwabara said airily.

Hiei's eyes flashed dangerously.

"Kurama!"

"Hiei, killing an innocent girl will not solve your problems. If anything, they'll make them even worse." The red-head glanced at his watch. By his calculations, they'd only been on the plane for, oh, ten minutes.

"She's poking me!" The Short One's voice was strangled and furious, and he seemed about to murder the three-year-old girl behind him, who was indeed poking him.

"Then let's switch seats," Kurama suggested, obviously exasperated. Hiei gave one of his trademark little 'hn's, but decided to comply.

Thankfully for the little girl, Kurama didn't seem to run out of patience, and she soon grew bored.

That's going to leave a mark.

"Sir? Sir?" A flight attendant asked cautiously, and Kurama snapped awake.

"Yes?"

"Sir, did you order a child's meal for your friend here?" The woman gestured to a glowering Hiei.

"Oh, no."

"How. Many. Hours. Left?" the fire demon managed to get out once the attendant had left.

"Oh. Ten."

Koenma will die a terrible, painful death, Hiei thought, and tried to content himself with scenes in which he slaughtered the toddler.

Behind them, Yusuke and Kuwabara were sleeping. Or rather, one was already asleep while the other was being kept up. By what?

"STOP SNORING, KUWABARA!" Yusuke bellowed. The carrot haired one didn't so much as shift.

"Sir, calm down and be quiet. There are other-"

"TELL HIM TO BE QUIET!"

"Sir-"

"SHUT UP, KUWABARA!"

"-I have no objection to throwing you out the window. Or door, for that matter."

That sure caught the Spirit Detective's attention. He wasn't completely sure she was kidding.

Later, in JFK airport, NY...

Thia watched as Yusuke and Kuwabara devoured hot dogs, pizza, bagels, pretzels, and various foods of the like. She checked her watch once again. 4:27 AM. The flight wasn't until of the like.

"That is just disgusting," she muttered, and propped up one of her spell books in front of her face so that she wouldn't have to watch the spectacle before her.

"The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5. Interesting. However, aren't we entering year 6?"

"Yeah. But no doubt I'm loads behind. I bought all of the books that were on the lists for the years beneath us. I read them all during the non-existent preparation period we were given."

Yusuke and Kuwabara stopped munching to ask, "How many books were there?"

"You don't want to know," she replied darkly.

The flight from New York to London was not quite as eventful as the one from Japan to NY, but it did have its share of... um... events, shall we say?

"Passengers with elderly or disabled accompanying them, please proceed to the front of the line. Also, passengers with children may also progress to the front of the line," came a voice over the intercom.

"Oh, disabled, that's you, Kuwabara, c'mon!" Yusuke received a bonk on the head for that one.

"Miss, you and your family can go to the front," a man told Thia.

"Um, what?"

"Go up to the front. He belongs to your group, doesn't he?" the man asked, gesturing to Hiei.

"Oh. Yeah. C'mon, boys, let's go!"

"But shrimp here isn't-"

"Come on! Boys these days!" Thianadel shrugged at the man and ran to the front.

Hiei's self-restraint was wearing thin. Extremely thin.

Thianadel blasted her CD player so that she wouldn't have to hear the sounds of retching coming from the boys next to her.

I told them that eating so much wasn't good, BUT NO ONE LISTENS TO ME! Okay, Thia, keep humming, keep listening to the music... Yusuke and Kuwabara aren't barfing... Ooh, this feeling in my stomach is NOT GOOD! Okay, I don't think I should've looked at them. EEEEW! Did they just- NO WAY AM I STAYING HERE!!! EEEW-EEEW-EEEW-EEEW- EEEW-EEEW!!!!

"Kurama, please, please, please, please, please switch seats with me? I beg of you!" she pleaded with the red-head next to her. He gave her a reluctant nod. Apparently, even he wasn't susceptible to the nausea that comes from watching another person throw up everything in their system.

"Thank you sooooo much. That is just nasty."

Responses:

Meghann, Arano Honou, Princess Krystal01, poltergeist report 101, Minakara, samuraiduck27, Lobs-StAcEy-Ters, Taurus 07, Harmony Hanyou, Crimson Zephyr—I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review!

high-off-life—lol, yup! GC rocks! Thanks!

Long Live Asato Kido—Whoa, the Ministry of Magic? And Harry?... Urm, okay! Heeere Fluffy! Heeeere Hiei! Get fetch it, boys! Ah, yes, I agree it's rather depressing I don't live in the Philippines... I love it there! But I've put news about the sequel below.

Penny: Angel of Darkest Dreams—Yay! I've been waiting for your review! I can now officially welcome you into my Circle of Dark and Evil Reviewers Who Want to Take Over the World!!! ::evil laughter:: Aheh... See whatcha got yourself into with me?

Author's Notes: So, okay, I'm not quite sure whether I'm late in posting this or early or whatever, 'cause I think I've got a cold (::growling:: Polina... Feel my wrath! Naw, I'm just messin' with ya!) and my head's spinning at extremely fast speeds. So, like, I don't know whether I'm comin' or goin'.

::Evil laughter:: I'm sorry, I don't really like torturing Hiei or Kurama or any of the others... Okay, so maybe I do. I just have a crazy sense of humor. This is one of the longer chapters... Aaanyway, thanks for reading! REVIEW!

Oh, and speaking of reviewing, I passed 200 reviews a while ago, and I forgot to thank you all! Now it's something like 225, so I'm a bit late in doing this, but...

PARTY!!!

Thank you, Bobby. We give you...

All: TWINKIES!!! And your choice of one of the YYH or HP characters!!!

(And we MEAN one. Well, except for those of you with conflicting alter-egos, a la r.i.p and moi. You can have two.)

Update on the Sequel:

::sighs:: Well, I'm really trying to experiment with the sequel. I've tried adding InuYasha (and I haven't completely trashed that idea) and I'm currently trying out throwing Asato Kido and Kaitou and Yana into the mix. In short: I've got no idea what in HELL I'm doing. Seriously.

But I do have one scene planned out. And it's a secret. ::mysterious smile::