Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or The Parent Trap.

~*~

The Maxwell Trap

by Dorothy Winner

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A little jetlagged and having stayed up into the early morning hours to make her less-than-successful vidphone call to Sydney, Heidi woke up somewhat late the next day. It took several moments for Heidi to remember where she was and why she was there. "God, what a mess," she muttered, running her fingers through her hair.

She sat up and stumbled out of bed towards the window. The first thing she noticed was Melanie's car. "I don't believe it she's here again?!" Heidi took a look at the clock; it was nearly noon. She went over to the closet, grumbling to herself. "Doesn't that woman have a hair appointment or something? Why does she have to keep coming here…"

She opened the closet only to find that the majority of Sydney's clothes had various grease and oil stains on them. She began rummaging through the hangars. "Doesn't she have a pair of jeans without holes in the knees?" Heidi grabbed a particularly decrepit pair. "Hmmm…"

Five minutes later, she had hacked the legs off with a pair of scissors and now had a new pair of cutoff shorts. She went back to the closet and grabbed a camouflage patterned t-shirt that she deemed acceptable. "I have got to take you shopping for new clothes, Sydney," she said, shaking her head. She quickly got dressed and put her hair into a half-ponytail.

Steeling herself, Heidi went downstairs to face the horror that was Melanie. "It's very simple," Heidi told herself. "All you've got to do is remind Dad about Mom, and he'll forget all about Melanie. You may have been raised a Schbeiker, but you're still half-Maxwell. Think, Heidi, think…"

Heidi took a look out the bay windows in the breakfast nook. Sure enough, Melanie was with her father again, hanging all over him in a sickening way. Heidi barely repressed a shudder. She took a deep breath and went out the screen door that opened to the patio, clearing her throat to get their attention.

"Hey, good to see you're finally awake, Syd," said Duo. "What's up?"

"Hi Dad, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure honey; right now?" asked Duo, still looking at Melanie.

"Yes, please."

"Actually," Melanie cut in, "I'm still in the middle of a conversation with your father; could it wait?"

"Um, it's kinda impor—"

"Why don't you be a dear and get us something to drink, Sydney?" Melanie added with a patronizing smile.

"Sure thing, Melanie," Heidi gritted out, seriously pissed but trying not to show it. She stomped back inside the house, feeling an urge to break something, preferably Melanie's neck…

After taking a few moments to calm herself, Heidi went over to the refrigerator to see what she had to work with. She opened the door and sweatdropped. The refrigerator was completely devoid of anything except a half empty pizza box (eeeew, anchovies?) and two bottles of Bud Light, and she certainly wasn't about to give that to them…

Making a mental note to go grocery shopping, Heidi decided to try the freezer. This time, Heidi giggled at what she found; there had to be at least fifteen 'Hungry Man' frozen dinners in here… She rummaged through the back and encountered a can of frozen lemonade concentrate. "Perfect," she whispered. She put it on the counter and began looking through the cabinets. Her dad's set of dinnerware was surprising complete, she thought as she took out an acrylic pitcher. 'Oh yeah, Sydney feeds all the Sweepers in addition to Dad…' Heidi definitely wasn't looking forward to it. She opened the can of concentrate and prepared it according to the directions.

Heidi put the pitcher and two tall glasses on a tray and took it outside to the patio, only to discover Melanie sitting by herself, talking on a cell phone. "Yes, yes, Reverend… that's correct… uh huh, I'm writing it all down," she said, writing down absolutely nothing, having nothing on which to write on nor anything to write with. "Yes… thank you… I'll call you back as soon as I can… yes… goodbye."

Melanie rolled her eyes and popped the phone back in her purse. She looked up. "Oh hello, Sydney, your father had to go fix something in the garage; he'll be back in a minute. Lemonade? How very nice; here, let me help you with that."

"No thanks, I got it," said Heidi, setting it down on the table.

Melanie helped herself to a glass. "You know, I've never heard a man talk about his daughter the way your father talks about you. The two of you must be very close."

"Extremely close," said Heidi. "No one could ever come between us," she emphasized.

"Your father is very dedicated to what he does," Melanie went on. "Men like him are really hard to come by. I'm so glad to have met him."

So Sydney said to sabotage her, huh? "Yeah, a lot of girls have said that," Heidi said lightly.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Melanie.

"Oh, you know my dad; he's a real ladies' man," said Heidi. "There's something about him that women find irresistible. You're not the first to fall for him, believe me. Hmmm, I'd say you're number… thirty-one or so."

"I'm number thirty-one?!" Melanie exclaimed.

"Oh, I'm not even sure; I only started counted when I was about four… who knows how many there could have been before then. Yeah, Dad's gone out with lots of women. You didn't know that?"

"No, I didn't," Melanie said slowly.

"Oh yeah, every week it was a different woman. Why, I think he once even had four different girls over in the same week. The thing is, all the girls he's dated have had dark hair; brunettes, or black hair, like mine," said Heidi, twirling a strand of hair between two fingers. "You're the first blonde he's dated, actually.

"I got used to it after a while, though… I mean, a daughter can't help her father's handsome good looks. And believe me, I was certainly no deterrent to some of those ladies… The kind I really hate, though, are the ones who are after him for his money; I mean, sure, the long hair and irresistible charm are a perk, but there's nothing better than to be the girlfriend—or wife—of the man who owns and runs the most profitable business here on L2. But you're not like that, are you, Melanie?" Heidi said slyly.

"Of… of course not," said Melanie, taken aback. "I love your father for who he is."

"Oh good, because he's got a ton of faults," said Heidi, now thoroughly enjoying herself. "Have you ever been inside the house? He can be a complete slob if he doesn't have anyone to keep him in check. He never does the laundry; dirty clothes end up wherever they happen to land. He leaves take-out cartons and pizza boxes everywhere; I think I saw mold on a week-old cheese pizza once. Dad can also be a real couch potato; he can plop himself in front of the TV for hours on end and he wouldn't even notice if the house burned down.

"You've gone to dinner with him once or twice, right? To really see him in action you ought to take him to a buffet. But I'm warning you, be prepared to pay extra, cuz he eats like it's going out of style. Oh, and doesn't he dance like he's got two left feet? I once tried to teach him how to waltz, and I was limping for a week…

"You should hear him when he's working in the garage… whoo, he can curse like a sailor. Not to mention how much hair he sheds; you have to vacuum practically once a week. I'd hate to see what the clogs in his shower drain are like… Oh, and sometimes Dad calls himself Shinigami. It's on his license plate. It's Japanese for 'The God of Death.' You see, during the Eve Wars, he—"

Melanie cut her off. "You know, I don't think I want to hear anymore."

"Well, you know what they say," said Heidi. "'Don't marry a man thinking you can change him.' Lemonade?"

"Actually, I think I'd like another," said Melanie, holding out her glass.

Heidi suddenly had an idea. She purposely missed the glass and poured lemonade all over Melanie's skirt. "Watch it!" Melanie cried, leaping up.

"Oops. Clumsy me," said Heidi. "Did I get you wet, Melanie?"

"Just a little bit, Syd," Melanie said with a forced smile.

"I'm so sorry, Melanie," said Heidi, not feeling the least bit sorry at all. "Would you like a towel or something?"

"No, no, I'll be fine," said Melanie, despite the fact that her skirt was soaking wet.

"Are you sure?" Heidi asked with feigned concern. "Because I'd hate for your skirt to be ruined…"

"It is ruined."

"Oh no, I feel absolutely terrible now," said Heidi, positively thrilled with her achievement.

"Don't worry about it, I have another outfit in the car," said Melanie.

"D'you want me to get it for you?"

"NO! No, it's perfectly all right, I can go get it myself," said Melanie, backing away and hurriedly walking to her car.

Heidi smirked as she watched Melanie go to her car. Once she was out of sight, Heidi ran inside the house, grabbing as many clothes off the floor as she could and dumping them all over the powder room, gingerly draping a pair of smiley-face boxers on the doorknob. She quickly ran back outside as Melanie came back from her car with a garment bag. "Could I use your bathroom for a sec?" Melanie asked.

"No problem," said Heidi. "Just go right through that door and turn right. Powder room's last door on the left."

"Okay… thanks," said Melanie, going inside the house.

'Give up, Melanie,' thought Heidi, 'you know you can't win…'

Melanie came out five minutes later, looking a little shell-shocked. "Um… was I just in the powder room or the laundry room?"

"Nope, that was the powder room," said Heidi. "We ran out of space in the laundry room to put all our clothes, and the powder room was nearest to it, so we decided—"

"I get the picture," said Melanie, sitting back down. "Oh look, your father's back," she said, looking extremely relieved.

Duo walked back over to them. "So, did you ladies find something to talk about while I was gone?"

"Oh, you could definitely say that," said Melanie, pressing her lips together in a thin line as she looked at Heidi, who simply smiled cherubically at her dad as if nothing had happened at all.

"Great," said Duo. "So, I was thinking, why don't the three of us all go somewhere together to celebrate?"

"Celebrate what?" asked Heidi.

Duo and Melanie exchanged a quick look that was not lost on Heidi.

"Your… your homecoming, of course," Melanie said quickly. "Actually, I was thinking we could go to the L2 country club for a nice afternoon outdoors."

"Sounds good to me," said Duo. "That okay with you, Syd?"

Heidi sweatdropped. "But Dad, you stink at golf…"

~*~

"Whoops," said Duo as he sent yet another golf ball into a water hazard with a plop.

"Um, Dad, you seem to be… fifty-seven over par," said Heidi as she looked down at the scorecard in her hand, "that can't be right, can it?"

"Who knows; I haven't gotten a golf ball into a hole all day," said Duo, shrugging. "I think it's time to call it quits."

"Probably," said Heidi, "since we have no more golf balls left."

"Not bad for your old man, huh?"

Heidi laughed. "You're a hopeless case, Dad," she said. "So really, what're we doing out here? Because you're obviously an incompetent at golf."

"Hey, hey, easy on the insults there," said Duo, putting his arm around Heidi. "Sydney, there's something really important I'd like to talk to you about," he said, his tone becoming a little more serious.

"Actually, there's something really important I'd like to talk to you about too," said Heidi.

"Oh, well then, why don't you go ahead," said Duo.

"It's okay, Dad, you go first."

"Nope, ladies first, I insist."

"Okay; well, actually, I want to talk to you about Mom," said Heidi.

Duo froze. "Y-your mom?" he stammered, a little thrown. "Well… that is… what—we've already talked about your mom before, haven't we?"

"Well yeah, but, see, I don't even know her," said Heidi. "All I have is half an old picture; I've never heard her voice, I've never been able to play dress-up with her things, or smell her perfume, or get to have those mother-daughter fights that every girl has—I know none of this!"

Duo looked stricken. "But—you never cared about all that before. You said you were perfectly happy being just the two of us."

"Oh, but I really am," Heidi said earnestly. "It's just that… when a girl gets to a certain age, she really misses her mom, you know?"

"Oh. Ohhhhh," said Duo. "You mean talking about… certain things?"

"Yeah," said Heidi, looking imploringly into her dad's face.

"Oh, well, I guess we really haven't talked about that stuff, have we?" Duo took a look around, scratching his head nervously. "Well, this is kind of a weird place, but I guess it's good as any… Well, let's get this over with. There's something about girls' bodies… when girls reach your age, they go through this thing—uh, process—called… puberty. You start going through changes that, physically, won't make you a little girl anymore—"

Heidi looked confused. "I don't know what—"

"Just hold off on the questions till I'm finished, okay please?" Duo was starting to break into a sweat. "All right… how can I put this… it all starts when glands in your brain start releasing chemicals called hormones…"

'Oh God, he thinks we're having The Talk,' thought Heidi. 'Better put him out of his misery.' "Dad," she said, "I already know all about that stuff."

Duo blinked several times. "Well then what the heck were we just talking about?"

"Well what were you talking about?"

"Well, uh…" Duo scratched his head again. "I have no idea…" He looked up at the artificial sky. "It's getting a little hot out here, whaddaya say we go back inside for something nice and cold to drink?"

"Yeah, Dad," said Heidi, "all this heat must be fogging up your brain…"

"Hey, didn't I tell you to go easy on the insults?"

"But they're so easy to make…"

"Yeah, but not at your dad's expense…"

~*~

Melanie narrowed her gaze as she spotted Duo and Heidi coming back from the golf course. "There she is now. What I wouldn't give to eject her out into space."

"Just keep smiling, dear." Maureen Prescott took a sip of her mint julep, sitting back in her lounge chair as if it were a throne. "It won't do you any good antagonizing the girl at this point; think of the millions you'll have at your disposal soon enough."

"I can always count on you for advice, Mother," said Melanie. She held up her glass. "Here's to marrying rich men and living it up for the rest of our lives."

The glasses chinked in the air. "I just thought of something," spoke Maureen, "your younger sister and the eldest Winner boy are about the same age, aren't they?"

"You know, I love it when you plan ahead, Mother." Melanie put on a smile and waved to Duo. "Duo! Over here, darling!"

"Hey, ladies," said Duo, giving Melanie a quick kiss. "Mrs. Prescott, you won't have met my daughter before. I'd like to introduce you to Sydney."

Maureen's whole aspect immediately changed. "Oh my goodness, what a darling little girl!" She gave Heidi's cheek a sharp pinch. Heidi winced in pain. "She's absolutely adorable…"

"Did you tell her?" Melanie whispered to Duo as Maureen began to pepper Heidi with questions.

"Well, I started to, and then…"

Melanie rolled her eyes in exasperation. "I brought Mother all the way out here so we could—"

"It just wasn't the right time, honey." Duo gave her another kiss to pacify her. "I've got it all taken care of, okay?" He walked over to Maureen and Heidi. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Prescott, but Sydney and I have got to get going. There's a big shipment from L1 coming in later this evening, and I gotta be there to help the guys out."

"Oh, well, perhaps Sydney would like to stay with us for dinner," suggested Maureen.

Heidi looked as though she would rather eat glass. "Actually," said Duo, "I could use Sydney's help, so we'd best be going. I'll see you tomorrow, okay babe?" Duo leaned in for a longer kiss with Melanie.

Heidi coughed loudly, cutting the kiss short. Duo and Melanie broke apart. "We really gotta be getting back," said Heidi, grabbing her father's arm. "See ya!" she said, dragging him away.

Melanie glared at Heidi's retreating figure. "First thing I'll be doing as Mrs. Duo Maxwell is sending that conniving little two-faced brat off to boarding school in Mars…"

~*~

TBC…