Chapter 16 "Underneath it all" by marauderyears
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it, J.K Rowling does.
Note: Enjoy! Thanks betas and reviewers. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed in the past, because I now have 100 reviews and I'm very happy. 'Danu3' was my 100th reviewer, Congratulations!
hpfreak44: Thanks so much for reviewing and helping me get to my 100 review mark! I really appreciate it!
ZayneLily: I think you voted for the same story. I also have a bad memory.
misakichi1: You'll find out in this chapter!
milkywaypnay37: Yes, Lily finally admits it. I'm so proud of her!
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me(): Lol. Try not to kill him or I won't have one of the most important character for this story. Thanks for reviewing, here's the chappie.
Lily's POV
Remus eventually did catch up with me in the Common Room. Sirius is (according to Remus) talking with James. Or scolding, I don't know.
"Lily I think you should hear James' defense-" Okay, now THAT made me mad for some reason.
"Why does everyone act like I care? He can date, kiss, and shag ANYONE he wants to. I DO NOT CARE, okay? He's not my boyfriend. I'm not his girlfriend. So he can do whatever the heck he pleases, who am I to stop him-"
"You care. You told us you liked him."
"I do not recall downright saying 'Remus, I like James as anything more than a friend.'."
Remus frowned. "You said you were jealous. If you didn't like him as more than a friend why would you be jealous?"
I sighed. "Alright, so it does hurt a teensy bit to see him kissing my best friend. Well technically ex-best friend, seeing as she hates my guts. But James is still a little too immature for me."
"Just talk to Ja-"
"But really Remus, I'm fine. I'm sleepy though, I'd like to go to bed."
Remus nodded. He surprised me by hugging me. He pulled back, but I kissed him on his cheek and with my head still close to his, I whispered, "Thanks for taking me to Hogsmeade. I had a wonderful time."
I pulled back and noticed James standing on the other side of the Common Room looking...I don't know. Furious? Hurt? Who cares? I walked up to my dorm, thinking only one thing: Eat your heart out Potter.
"Oh Gwen, I had the most wonderful time with James. We even got to kiss!" It's late at night and although I'm pretending I'm asleep (I have the curtains closed around my bed) I can hear Lena telling Gwen EVERYTHING that happened on the date. And being the sucker that Gwen is, she's ENJOYING it. Now I can tell you that I am most certainly not. At least Anna is smart and not listening; listening just urges her to keep talking. However Anna is not listening for a totally different reason than me. She's jealous. I however, am not jealous. Okay, I guess I am. I've already admitted it to Remus.
I wish my Walkman works in Hogwarts. I'm going to look it up and see what the Charm that enables it to work in Hogwarts is. I used to know it, and I do have it written down on my notebook (it's a very complicated spell) but my notebook is in my trunk at the end of the bed. If I were to get up and get it, well they'd know I'm awake. So I've settled with just smashing two pillows against my head to try and block out the annoying giggling.
You're probably wondering why I just don't yell at them (normally I would), but I can't because then they'd known I was awake and could hear them and I definitely don't want Lena to have the satisfaction of knowing that I can hear her bragging about her date.
So basically no matter how you look at it, I'm screwed. There Potter, are you happy I cussed. Well sort of. Maybe if I pretend I'm sleepwalking and smack them upside the head??? No, that won't work. They know I don't sleepwalk, I just sleep talk.
James' POV
"So you believe me?"
"Of course we believe you. She kissed you, to thank you for going out with her. And you didn't want her to feel stupid, so you kissed back." Sirius answered. That's more or less what happened.
"But you're going have to explain that to Lily." Remus said, flicking a balled up piece of parchment at Peter, who had fallen asleep half way through my story.
"Why would she care though?" Does she like me? Please say yes.
"She likes you as a friend right now." Sirius said. He is currently hanging upside down from his bed with his legs on the bed and his back on the floor. His face is starting to turn a little red from all the blood rushing to it.
Remus nodded. "You have to be a little more mature. According to Lily." He added hastily at the look on my face.
"Can you help me be less pricky? Please, maybe over the summer. Summers only in a month..." I didn't want to have to resort to pleading on bended knee, but if it's for Lily...
Remus shook his head. "You have to figure it out on your own for you to actually grow up. But I'll be sure to tell you when you're being pricky."
Sirius grinned evilly at me. "I could do that." I threw a pillow at him and left the room to go find Lily. It's early, but there's a chance that she could go down to breakfast early.
I ran all the way to the Great Hall in hopes of finding Lily, but she wasn't there yet. I waited a good 10 minutes but I decided she wasn't coming after other people started to arrive for breakfast.
I tickled the pear on the portrait of the fruit bowl and entered the kitchen only to be surrounded by House Elfs. I immediately found the pretty redhead sitting on a counter nibbling on some muffins.
"Lily?" She flinched a little and turned around.
"Hmm?" She said through a mouthful.
"Just wanted to tell you about what happened last night."
To my surprise she rolled her eyes. "Look James. I really don't care. That's fine, I understand. It's just a kiss. It's no big deal. But if you don't mind I'd like to finish my breakfast-"
I could tell that she minded, a lot, but that she was pretending not to. Her eyes gave her away. Plus her voice always gets slightly higher when she's lying.
"Well, I'd like to eat breakfast with you." Our eyes met for a brief second, but all she did was look down at her muffin.
I sat down next to her and watched Lily stare at the House Elfs bustling around making breakfast for the rest of the school. Lily glanced up at me and I decided to attempt conversation.
"How's your day been?"
Lily gave me an exasperated look. "If you must know it's been...dreadful."
"I know, and it's my fault and I'd like to apol-"
"No!" I looked at her, startled at her outburst.
"James, I'm sick of people feeling sorry for me because they think we're in some sort of 'Love Triangle'. Let's get a few things straight, okay? Number one: My disagreement with Lena is my own problem, no one else's. Number two: I do NOT care that you are going out with Lena. I couldn't care less as a matter of fact. And number three: I do not like you James Potter in anything more than in a platonic, friendly way."
I felt my heart drop. I do not like you James Potter in anything more than in a platonic, friendly way. It echoed in my head. It's not like I didn't know that anyway, but for her to actually say that out loud...
"I know." I tried to hide the disappointment out of my voice. "But, Lily?"
She looked up at me, quizzically.
"I'll always love you and I'm always here for you." I said looked into her beautiful green eyes that would never light up when they looked at me, like lovers' eyes do. She nodded, her eyes looking misty.
After a few minutes of silence, she spoke. "Why?"
I looked up at her, confused. "Why what?"
"Why do you like me? There's nothing special about me."
"Nothing special about you?" I let out a derisive laugh. "You are the most exceptional person I know and I don't even think you know it. You...you're beautiful for one thing, and you having the most unique personality of anyone I've ever met. You have the most becoming temper, I don't know why but I love that about you. You make everyone around you want to be the best they possibly can be. And seeing you laugh or smile makes me feel so happy and content. Everything about you shines, and anyone who doesn't see that, well they're just crazy." I stood up and walked out of the kitchens, not looking back.