With Bitter Utterance
Hiead's POV
I had to pretend that I didn't see him that I didn't have any regrets when I did it to him nor when I decided to do it to others. I could have done a threesome with Yamagi and Sawamura. Haha... Naughty. But I have to admit that I really have this distinct joy of seeing Zero's defeat. The twist of sadness and anger in his expressions made me laugh to myself. I'd be ecstatic once I see him cry. Overly ecstatic, if I may add.
Pushing myself deeper into Clay was sort of... well... Not so fun. I guess I was just having this "adjustment." Another thing was, Clay kept on fixing his eyeglasses. It annoyed me... a lot. But in any case, it still sufficed my sexual need.
Clay's eyes were very much different from Zero. I'm not comparing vision-wise... What I mean is... Zero's stare, the glimmer in his eyes were... I don't know... Nice? I couldn't have thought in a million years that I would actually call him NICE. I hate him. He's a show-off, a pea brain and soon, a loser. I can't believe that at this moment in time, I'm gonna praise him and compare his eyes to Clay. Very peculiar of me indeed.
I tried to make Clay cry or at least see him moan in pain but I failed. But by the time I buried myself deeper and deeper into him... Ahaha! I got it. He bounced a bit from the bed.
"Ow! Shiiiiit!!!"
I smirked and went on.
"Uhhh!!"
I raised an eyebrow at him which meant 'I won't stop'
"...H...H...Hiead!!"
I stopped. It was unlikely of me to, but I suddenly decided to stop. It reminded me of something. Zero. He moaned that way on the sixth night that we were making love. I froze. The evil grin on my face disappeared. Clay just panted and crawled off the bed to get his clothes from the floor.
Clay dressed up and headed for the door. He looked back and I gave him a piercing look, which left the bed empty and the door shut.
What was happening to me?
My hands covered my face as I tried to think what was going on. I was confused. I had never been confused in my whole life. I never ever even thought of entering the state of confusion for such a stupid reason. Just because of that candidate, I'm all gloomy and stuff. All of a sudden I feel the sense of belongingness when he's around.
What the shit was going on?
Am I nuts?
I can't be. He's just... DRIVING ME NUTS! It's his fault! His fault!
My hands slid through the strands of my hair. This feeling was unfamiliar to me. I was having a headache and I feel guilt for no reason.
I can't be guilty because of him too!!!
Anger. Lust. Joy. Love? Pain... and now, guilt? Mixed emotions invaded me. I punched the cabinet. I didn't care whose cabinet it was but I did punch it with brute force. It caused a few things to fall over.
This is all because of Zero. All because of that show-off, pea brain... And before I could utter another word, the person concerned came in. The veins in my tightly clenched fists popped out. I grabbed him by the collar.
"Loser!" I was too carried away by my emotions that I didn't even notice his face. He simply eyed me. The same glitter in his eyes met mine. I let him go. He went ahead and picked up the things that dropped off the cabinet.
"Isn't it enough that you ruined me?" He said softly as he arranged the things back into the shelves of the cabinet.
Ruined? He's the one being ruined... BY ME??!! Is he serious?! He WAS the one ruining ME!
Without looking at him, I asked him, "What the hell are you saying? Are you telling me that you didn't enjoy any of the eight nights we spent together IN BED?" I managed to give out a malevolent smile.
"I did."
...
...
I could say anything further. I wouldn't think that he'd admit that. After all, he's like me... Pride-driven and egotistical.
"Not only that..." He turned to look at me, his voice breaking. I looked at him.
He was... in tears. I can't believe it.
But wait...
I wasn't happy.
I felt...
Hurt.
Why?
"I loved you and I still do. I don't know why. This is so not like me." He fell down and hid his face from me.
This was even more CONFUSING. Why is he saying such things? Is he fooling me? I didn't plan to play with his feelings; all I wanted was to prove that I'm better than him. That's all.
I sat down over the disarrayed bed sheets. And after a few minutes of silence, Zero moved slowly and threw himself to me. A few tears came down his cheeks, which saturated over my shirt. Trying to ignore him, I looked away.
"Hiead, please... pretend."
Pretend? "What?" I firmly said.
"Just at least pretend." More tears came down his face. I felt each tear that dropped instantly on my shirt.
"Pretend to what?" What was he trying to tell me?
"Pretend that you love me."
His words shocked me. His tears shocked me, his confession shocked this and me plead for love almost killed me. He was telling me to love him? Was he trying to emphasize that I don't know how to love? I for once, never knew how to love but is he pointing out that it's my weakness?
I don't have any weakness.
I am the best.
I am perfect.
"Get off me." I said with a harsh tone.
"Please?"
"The feeling is never gonna be mutual. I don't love you. I hate you. You're a stupid loser for falling for me. I can't believe your ass. You're such a pea brain." I said so many things that I shouldn't have.
He let go and ran off crying as he whispered, 'Insensitive...'
I was mean and I am absolutely insensitive. I felt hurt when I saw him leave.
His eyes were in hues of pain.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Tbc.