Reno Drannor and Yuffie Kisaragi: Reno Spiegel
Elena Sayler: Lindz
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Chapter 5
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Cloud frowned down at the gas gauge. As much as he loved the big-block, Mako- injected, hemmy motor, it guzzled gas. Reno was still staring out the window, his blue eyes reflecting off the tinted glass. Cloud and he had been sitting in an almost companionable silence. If not that, at least it was an understanding one. They needed to work together, and it wouldn't be pulling teeth. In all honesty, Cloud would rather deal with thirteen pissed off Reno's than Tifa when they ran into each other again.
It hadn't really been a fight; not as bad as fights could go. The whole AVALANCHE incident had mussed with Cloud's head, but slowly, with help from Nanaki, he was putting himself back together. The more he recalled the more one thing became perfectly clear. Tifa had lied to him, about almost everything.
She claimed it was to protect him, she was probably telling the truth in that respect. But Cloud couldn't handle knowing that she had almost used him for the AVALANCHE cause. He left her, not even a note to say goodbye. She never called him to ask why, at least she must have known. He rubbed his eyes. He was getting tired.
"Time for another stop. Wake the others up?" he asked with a glance at the red head.
Reno jumped a bit, but he had been brought out of his thoughts when Cloud had rubbed his eyes. Any Turk sensed all movements around him, or her in the less-than-common case, so he'd been slipping back to reality. Cloud's talk had brought back the thoughts of the lifetime he didn't want to admit he'd gone through: Childhood. But it was more than that. He remembered what people like the Jascoes were capable of against their own families. If Yuffie were subjected to that... He nodded at the driver, but paused. "You look beat. Want me to take the wheel soon?"
Cloud gave Reno a half smile. "Give me some coffee I will be fine. I don't really sleep anyway." He looked behind him. "Anyway, we are stopping at the station soon. I think we should wake people up give them a chance to stretch out?"
Reno rolled his eyes. "Always Mr. Business, aren't you?" He glanced back to the sleeping group in the back, and decided he wasn't up for just climbing back and shaking them all awake. Smirking, he cupped a hand to his mouth and yelled "COPS!" as loud as he could. Rude jumped up so fast he hit his head on the roof of the car, and the others looked horribly startled. The redhead grinned at Cloud. "They're up."
Rude's grey eyes narrowed at Reno, a look that usually made people wet themselves. Cloud and Reno snickered. "When I get a hold of your scrawny neck..."
Reno laughed. "Love you too, man."
Rude rubbed his head and looked around. His jumping had sufficiently jarred the backseats. Reeve and Scarlet were on the floor. Elena was on Yuffie's lap.
Reno turned back to them again. "We're making a stop to get gas soon, so we figured we'd get you up so you could all get your business done before we haul it to Kalm." He paused. He was referring to himself and Cloud as a pair. Shrugging, he assumed he was getting equally strange looks from them and sat back down.
Reeve snarled from his extremely intimate looking position on top of his wife. "Reno, if Rude doesn't kill you then I will."
Cloud sighed, parking the vehicle.
Yuffie shoved Elena off her lap, never having liked waking up so rudely, and gave Reno a dark look. "Reeve, would you mind if I helped?"
Rude looked at Reno for a moment, then to Cloud getting out of the truck. He smirked and waited.
Reno caught the look and quickly opened the door, jumping down and walking toward the building in an accelerated pace. Rude hit hard.
"I'll just wait until he's not suspecting anything," Elena mumbled as she got up off the floor, giving Yuffie a quick glare for pushing her.
Rude looked around, Reno had hightailed it to the bathroom. He didn't notice any cops. "Reeve, you and Scarlet go in and get some coffee with Yuff. Make it quick. 'Lany, you stay here with Strife." Then he went to stand outside the bathroom door.
Inside the bathroom, however, Reno was alone and sticking toilet paper to the walls with the liquid hand-soap in the form of a Mako reactor. That and a few of the soaps in the urinals had been smashed against the window, just to make the next occupant wonder what the hell was wrong with the last guy in there.
"Re... Shake it more then once and you're playing with yourself. Get out here so I can hurt you."
"Nu-uh." He said it in the way a six-year-old would to his father, in the process of unrolling his second roll of toilet paper across the length of the floor. He had done this so many times that it was instinct, and he had been timed -- by Rude himself -- to wreck an entire bathroom in less than three minutes.
Mean while outside, Cloud and Elena were refueling the truck. Cloud leaned against the truck, looking at Elena and listening to Reno and Rude. "So," he yawned. "You stay around them for the entertainment, right?"
"Of course," she said with a smirk, "Why else would I?"
From behind the bathroom door came a high-sung, exaggeratedly long reprise of "I'm A Little Teapot."
The bald man lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall, looking at the door.
Cloud blinked at the door. "What will Rude do to him?"
"If I was him I'd ram him into the urinals a few times," Elena said. "According to how pissed he is with him he may just hit him around the head when he eventually comes out. Or he may dunk Reno's head under the tap, drown him a bit. Or he may totally surprise me and do something else." She gave a shrug, "It'd be boring if it became predictable."
Reno had found the treasure of all treasures: The handicap door. He had loved playing with these things since he was real young, and had even figured out that inside they all had a dial marked "Door Open Speed." Popping the cap off of this one and tossing it aside, somewhere by the now-spewing condom machine and the running taps in the clogged sinks, he saw this was no different. "This is too good." Cranking the dial up to its highest, he whistled. "Hey, Rude. Still wanna pound my ass?"
"Inevitably Reno." Rude growled.
"Fine, fine." He opened the door a crack and saw Rude lurch for him. Slamming the button in, the door caught the big man quickly in the forehead and the redhead made a run for it, only to realize Reeve was now running in his direction, though Rude seemed to be at a loss of balance and low on consciousness. 'One for two. Good enough.' He zipped past Elena and Cloud with a quick "Hello, goodbye!" and even went so far as to leave the stop at his fastest. He knew they'd pick him up on the way.
Reeve wasn't as fast as Reno, but he did cut the redhead off at the pass. Rude shook his head and darted after Reno.
Cloud blinked. "Will we just pick those three up a few minutes down the road?"
Scarlet and Yuffie walked out, arms full of various caffeinated and chocolate supplies "My husband and Rude are gone?"
Reno's voice drifted back to the stop, just in time for the two women to hear. "Tra la laaa! You can't catch meeee!"
"My god, why can't we just have a normal gas stop for once," Elena muttered under her breath. Louder, she continued, "I always have to pick them two up if it's just the three of us. This always happens."
"Rude's going to really get him this time..." She climbed into the back. "I got you coffee, Cloud."
Cloud leaned a bit closer to Elena. "Well, I wouldn't leave you all by yourself." He tapped the nozzle out and replaced it.
"Of course you wouldn't, Hero Boy," she said with a small smile.
Shaking his head, Cloud climbed into the cab and started down the road after Reno, Reeve and Rude.
Cloud pulled up alongside the three ex Turks. The dangerous and professional assassins were covered in cattails and other forms of high grass. Reno's arm was craned up behind his head, Rude holding the red head's stomach against his hip. Reno squirmed while Reeve stuffed a hand full of muck and what looks suspiciously like some form of poison ivy down the red head's pants.
Reno saw Cloud eyeing them out the open window and kicked against Rude harder. "Strife! Call off your goddamn do -- AIEEE!" he screeched, Reeve having socked him in the calf.
Cloud laughed. "Now I have a truck full of women all to myself... Why would I want to pick you up?"
On that note, Reeve dropped one more clump on Reno's head and shook off his hands. "Hands off my wife, Strife," Reeve laughed, walking up to the passenger side door. He began to dig under the seat.
Cloud actually sounded like he felt sorry for Reno. "Rude, let the poor guy go."
Reno whined. "Yeah, Rude, let the poor guy go."
"Nah Rude," Yuffie shouted from the back of the car. "I'd say he needs beating up a little more."
Cloud got out and dug around the back seat, finding a pair of business slacks. They would be a little short on Reno, but at least they weren't covered in muck.
Rude snapped his hips over, flipping the much lighter Reno twice in the air before the red head landed on his side in more muck. He smirked as Reeve sauntered up to him with a snow-scraper. "You're too nice, Strife."
The blond shrugged and leaned against the truck, the slacks over his shoulder. "So they tell me."
Reeve smirked, tossing the scraper back and forth as if it were a knife. "Poor Re, you need some help with those pants? Oh and I can't catch poison ivy. I didn't bother to ask if you did or not..."
Reno growled. "You're damn lucky the Mako made me immune."
Rude hauled Reno up, lifting the red head over his shoulder by the seat of his pants Then he placed Reno in a tree. The red head's loose pants left him hanging there. "Lany? You still have a camera?"
Reno knew better than to struggle. After all, falling meant breaking his neck. He just yelled at Rude in a voice that told them all that the blood was rushing to his head quickly. "You fuckin' suck, man!"
"Always," Elena replied as she pulled the small silver camera out of her coat pocket, took a quick picture while Rude and Reeve posed as if they had just caught a Reno fish and put it away again, all with a huge grin on her face.
The redhead snarled. "Can I get some pants now?!"
Cloud walked up as Rude and Reeve left Reno to fall on his ass. He handed the pants to Reno. "They're gonna be short on ya."
Reno took them and shoved himself forward quickly, managing to land on his feet, though he did stumble and fall on his ass. He gave Cloud a look that said the blond was responsible for this, then stood up and got in the truck after muttering, "Yeah, but they'll be on me. He looked at a grinning Elena once he'd shut the door, standing there in his boxers and clenching the pants in his fist. "What?!"
"Nothing," She said failing to attempt not to laugh. "Nothing at all."
Reno slammed into an empty seat, deliberately avoiding sitting next to anyone, and pulled the pants on. A few inches short from comfortable length-wise, but they fit him around the waste. He gave Reeve and Rude a smoldering look.
"You're right, 'Lany. This is entertaining," Cloud snickered.
"Re does it to himself." Rude sipped his coffee with a smirk. "You want one of us to drive Strife? Take a nap?"
The blond shook his head. "I'll sleep when we get where we are going."
Rude reached over and gave Reno a short noogie.
The more-than-irritated man muttered incoherently, but didn't shove him off. He hadn't even gotten any coffee. Suddenly he looked over the seat at Elena. "Can I see your camera?"
"As if," Elena said as she sat as far forward in her seat as she could to escape Reno's reach. "I'm not stupid, you know."
*****
It was maybe twenty minutes later, after Reno had curled up in a seat next to Yuffie -- she was scratching him behind the ear in a pitying way -- that he called into the cab something about being so hungry his stomach was starting to digest itself. "And besides," he said when he heard Scarlet protest and call him a whiner, "there's a Greasepit coming up sometime soon." Greasepit was a nickname he had given P's Grease, a fast-food chain that had popped up after Meteor. In truth, their food wasn't that greasy, but whoever had named it must have thought it would make for some catchy jingles.
Then as if the mention of food awoke them, both Cloud and Rude's stomachs growled very loudly
This was a signal that they would be stopped for quite some time. Separated, the appetites of the two were legendary. When they met, it would surely make for a meal worthy of the ShinRa cafeteria's entire kitchen.
"I want three number sevens, a number eight, and three things of fries" Rude muttered to himself
Cloud smiled, pulling off into the parking lot. "And some of those apple pies..."
Reeve blinked at the two, jaw dropping. "Who is going to pay for all of that?" Then every head in the cab swiveled to look at him. "You can't be serious. I have personally seen both you two human trash compactors eat. No way ShinRa couldn't even afford that..."
"You could feed an army with what they eat," Elena muttered. "I've learnt never to offer to pay... Ever."
At the mention of money, Reno's head perked up. "Rude, did you keep my pants?"
Rude nodded to the back and held up Reno's wallet. "Unless you guys want to dine and dash..."
"Ooh, can we do that? We haven't done that in a long time," Elena said clapping her hands together.
Reno hadn't noticed they were parked, and so he jumped up, opened the door, and flew out in what seemed to be one motion, following his truck stop suit and dashing inside P's Grease as well.
The others filed into a large booth, Reeve and Scarlet sat close together, leaving Room for Reno and Yuffie, Elena found herself in between Rude and Cloud. Both of whom were already in the menus.
Reno opened his not long after they had, but closed it immediately. He had different hunger levels, and a set meal for each one. He happened to be at Code Red right now. "Four Grease Supremes should do it for me." Only the biggest, most expensive meal on the menu.
The woman walked over to the large group, seeming to recognize at least Cloud. But she said nothing. "What can I getcha?" She chewed on her pen, giving in at last. "Aren't you Cloud Strife?"
"Can't go anywhere, can you Hero Boy," Elena whispered in Cloud's ear with a giggle.
Reno looked disturbed, examining the bottom of his menu seriously. He muttered something about four Grease Supremes and set the menu back on the table, sitting back and looking at the wooden surface with his eyebrows pinched together. Something was troubling him.
She then looked at Reno. "Waiiit a minute..."
Cloud then proclaimed he wanted the left side of the menu and fixed a glare at her. "Do yourself a favor, don't mention this okay?"
She proceeded to take the rest of the orders, including Rude's right side of the menu and a pie. "Anything else?"
Reno, on the end of the booth, stood up and fixed her with a look. "I'd like to speak with the manager if it's not too much of a hassle. And don't tell me he's not here, because his reserved spot's taken." He thumbed toward it out the window.
She nodded. "This'll take a minute, Mr. Stri--" The look Cloud gave her froze her mouth. "Ah, Sir..." She took off.
The manager was a younger man, a little heavy set, but with a strong build and square shoulders. "Someone wanted to speak with me?"
The redhead grabbed him by the shoulder and opened his suit jacket a bit, making the handgun known and smiling smally at him. He looked at his comrades and spun the young man around so they were both facing away from the booth. "A private word, if I may," he hissed, and the two walked off toward the manager's office.
The manager growled, as if used to robberies, but said nothing else.
Cloud's bad mood was forgotten as the first round of food came. While Reeve, Scarlet, Yuffie and Elena each had a normal sized meal, Rude and himself had plates stacked on each other. He looked at Elena. "You gonna eat your fries?"
Elena stared at her fries then at Cloud. "I am eating them, just because I don't gulp it down doesn't mean I'm not eating them," she said as if she had said the same words a thousand times.
Cloud smiled. "If I am done before you, I am eating them..." He pushed plate two aside and started on his third.
"Where do you put all that food Cloud? Rude's got a foot on you easy..." Reeve himself was done with his hamburger and moving his fries out of reach.
Rude took one of Yuffie's fries before starting on his fifth and final plate. Yuffie glared and took one of Rude's fries in retaliation. Rude then took half of Reno's fries. Cloud was done and his hand was already in motion toward Scarlet's plate.
She drew her gun. "So help me, Cloud..."
It was a good thing that she had drawn said gun, because a shot from Reno's came from the manager's office. The door sprung open and the redhead flew out, splattered with blood, and took out the waiter who was coming for him in the same way. Outside the window opposite his party's, red and blue lights flashed. Reno gave the entire group a stern look. "Truck! Now! Scarlet, take out anyone coming at you!"
"Fuck! Reno!" Cloud grabbed Reno's burger and took off. "Gun, NOW."
Reno glared at him. "I'll explain later, Spike! Move!"
Rude tossed Cloud a spare weapon and also took one of Reno's burgers in flight
Cloud and Rude spun as the door opened up, both firing as they walked backwards. The only person without a gun, Yuffie, remained close to Reno.
Reeve and Scarlet reached the truck first, followed by Reno and Yuffie. Cloud pitched the keys up at the red head, who opened the door, scrambled in the back and started the engine.
While Reno rolled the windows down, Cloud, Elena, and Rude jumped into the vehicle. Reno and Elena sat on their now open windows, holding on the load hitch on the top and firing rounds off at the following law enforcement. Reeve followed suit on the other side while Rude pushed open the back hatch.
As a cop car pulled alongside the driver's side, Reeve ducked back in, sparks from the cop car meeting the trucks side followed him in the cab. Cloud rolled his window down, took three shots at the car then slammed the truck to the side and in reverse. it whipped around again, spinning 180 degrees Cloud then hauled ass backwards, flipping it around again before he made it out of the parking lot.
Reno and Elena ducked back inside and rolled up their windows as the truck sped forward. The cops had been alerted on short notice and unable to set up a barricade in the direction of Kalm, and the truck was far too fast to seriously chase, and within minutes they were in the clear. Every eye was on Reno.
Reeve reloaded and glared at Reno. It was as if the goateed man was once again, leader of the Turks. "How many times did I have to tell you not to start shit Reno? What the fuck was that?"
Reno looked more angry at being accused of "starting shit" than he had when he'd gotten shot three years ago. "That, if you're too blind to see, was Jimmy fucking Shade!" All of the former employees of ShinRa minus himself looked appalled, and he explained for Yuffie and Cloud. "Jimmy Shade was the person who developed the plans for the Sister Ray. He's the lead inventor of any Mako weapon you've seen." That made the two he'd been speaking to go pale.
"First thing that tipped me off was what it said on the back of the menu, and I'm surprised Rude didn't catch it right away." The bald man was still looking surprised that the manager had been Shade. Definite plastic surgery had taken place. "It said right there, "P's Grease is property and copyright of ShinRa, Inc." P stands for Panderfaust. He'd called the cops the minute the waitress saw us. The Jascoes have that place in their fucking pockets." He shut up and let it sink in.
Cloud growled, but said nothing else.
Rude sighed. "Shit, this is going to be a long fucking trip"
The redhead agreed silently. "That and now they know which way we're headed, so we'd better be quick about this."
Cloud frowned. "We get Tifa and get to Rocket Town. We need the Highwind. Then Coral. And we need to find Vincent..."
Rude nodded. "Then we split up at Tifa's."
*****
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