Ok...so you really have to bear with me with this chapter. I make a HUGE jump in the timeline here, and I use some of the existing show in trying this jump. If it sucks, I totally understand. It's been done many times before...I know because I read also. I'm working on it...it's kinda predictable, and I'm sure you can guess what will happen when I'm done. (Try to) Enjoy :P

Spectacular. Now the lights are out and Faye is still crying. In my room. She's breaking some serious laws by doing this right now. You know, Spike-laws. Well, there's nothing I can do about that right now. Time to move back to the first problem.

"Faye, can you see anything?" I asked. Pretty dumb question now that I think about it.

::sniffle:: "Nope." She said quietly.

::flick::

"How 'bout now?" I asked as I held up my lighter.

"A little." She answered.

"C'mon. Follow me or get your lighter so we can figure out what the hell is going on." I told her.

I heard my bed squeak as she stood up and her feet shuffled over to me. I felt her little hand latch onto the sleeve of my jacket as if she was going to get lost.

"I have a candle that I picked up as a souveneir when I was on Earth last month. It's in my room. I'll get it so you don't burn up your lighter." She said and started to walk down the hall to her room guided by her lighter now.

"Alright. Meet me back here." I said.

Moments later, I hear a muffled scream come from Faye's room.

"What now?" I asked myself as I jogged down to her room.

I turned into her room and held my lighter out to see what happened.

"You okay?"

"I'll be much better when the damn lights are back on!" she yelled. Ahh. That's better. Bitchy Faye.

::BZZZZZZZZZZZZT::

"Ooop. There you go. Your wish has come true." I said putting my lighter back into my pocket.

Shit. Now that the lights are back on, Faye might go back to Sad Faye. I know! I'll pretend nothing happened!

"I'm going to look for Jet. He might know why we lost the lights." I said and walked toward the control room.

"He left before the power went out." She said, getting up and brushing herself off.

"Oh. Weird, he didn't say he was leaving...I didn't even hear him go." I said turning to the holding bay.

I got there to find that my ship was gone. I totally forgot about that. Shit. Now I really can't get away from Faye. Guess it's time to do what I do best.

I headed toward the living room and plopped down on the couch. I lied down and was sleeping like a baby a few minutes later. I don't know how long I was sleeping, but the next thing I knew I was hit by a cold metal object tossed by a big bald guy sitting in front of me.

"Morning princess." He said setting down a plate of food in front of me. The "cold metal object" is the key to my Swordfish.

"Morning. Hey, where were you earlier?" I asked, putting the key into my pocket.

"Out finding that bounty head who gave us the slip before."

"What a surprise," I said patting the pocket where I had just put my key, "Where was she?" I asked and began to scarf down the deceitful concoction.

"I was out buying supplies and food when I saw your ship parked in the same lot as mine. I went over to check it out and she popped out."

"And then...??" I said awaiting the outcome.

"I asked her nicely to give it to me, and she did." He said with a smirk.

"What?? You're kidding."

"Nope."

"What's the catch?" I asked.

"I told her we'd stop trying to cash in on her bounty." He answered with a disappointed look on his face and pulled out a cigarette.

"Aw, sorry. There's always next time." I said.

"You never know." He said putting the cigarette in his mouth.

"Never know what?"

"About next time. Might not be a 'next time.' I guess you're right when you say it doesn't really matter in the end, huh Spike?" Jet said raising a hand to the top of his hand, as if he were really going to scratch it.

"Guess not." I said and walked off to the bathroom.

I guess that I'll start from there and tell you what happened afterwards. I'm writing this all down so that I can remember it later on. I don't want to forget any of the minute details, no matter how painful they are.

Spike got his Swordfish back. I got something far more important back. My memory. I had tried and tried to pluck some memory from that tape. I'd watch it over and over again, hoping that I'd suddenly remember, or at least feel like it was strangely familiar and slowly but surely get my memories back.

I know Spike said that the past doesn't matter, because I have a future...and sure, that made a lot of sense, but I couldn't let it go once that tape came into my life.

I was taking a shower when it happened: my memory came flooding back to me as if it were back from vacation and ready to settle back in to my life. I tried to push the distant memories of days past over so I could finish my shower and go on with the day, but it just wasn't happening. I grabbed my robe and quickly ran out of the bathroom, heading toward my room.

Spike came out from the bathroom as I was rushing to my room. I ran right into him. I really tried to avoid running into him, but I was just in too much of a hurry, I guess.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" he shouted.

"I-I'm sorry."

"You're...sorry?"

"Yes..." I said quietly as I shifted my glance downward. I just realized how cold this ship is when you're dripping wet in a robe.

"I've gotta go." I said quietly and continued to run to my room.

So I left. I got my stuff and went to the place where I thought my home would be. Nothing but rubble awaited me. I spent the night, and I thought a lot. I realized how right Spike was about forgetting the past and I made my way back to the Bebop. But not before I ran into her. The so-called Julia. I ended up helping her out, only to be duped. She knew who I was the whole damn time, and asked me to relay a cryptic message to Spike. I wish I could've found out how she knew that I knew her beloved Spike.

What happened after this wasn't what I'd call a happy memory. Not a happy one at all. Basically, Spike left all of us. He went off to die. Something about "seeing if he's really alive," and all that. I tried to get him to stop. Didn't work too good.

She really was something else.

Well, not much to say about that except she must've been some kind of woman to get his undivided attention like that. It was as if he were a different person than the Spike we all came to know.

I'd be a liar if I said we didn't love him in our own way.

I'd be a liar if I said I didn't love him.

But, he left anyway. Maybe if we had expressed our feelings toward each other once in a while he might've considered staying. No need to think about that stuff now. Nothing can be done to change it.

And then there were four(Well, it was really two because I didn't know that Ed and Ein were gone).

I thought that Jet was handling it better than me, but I was wrong. Men are like that; they just don't know how to show emotion when it's perfectly okay to. They hold it in and wait until it's so big inside them that they just explode.

Men really are stupid.

Before everything came crashing down, Jet told me everything he knew about Spike. About the Syndicate, and as much as he could piece together about Vicious and Julia. I wasn't shocked by it, but I wasn't exactly excited either.

Our Spike...a killer in a big bad syndicate?

She really must have been something else.

About a day later, Jet exploded. I think imploded is a better word. He lost it and left the ship, limping away. Seeing him hobble off made me feel so damn guilty. I felt guilty that I wasn't going. I didn't ask him where he was going, because I already knew. I just waited for him to return to hear the two words that I've replayed in my head ever since: "He's dead." It's easier to move on if you just force yourself to belive it.

"He's dead." I whispered.

"Huh?" Ed chirped from the other side of the room where she was playing with her Tomato.

"Oh, nothing. Don't listen to me Ed." I said shaking my head and went back to writing.

Jet never came back. Enough time passed for me to worry, so I headed out to find him. I made it to the scene of it all. What a disaster. The damn building looked like a bomb had been dropped onto it. I got ahold of one of the police officers handling whatever was left to handle.

Jet had came, and he had saw.

And that was the end of it for him.

Supposedly there were some pissed-off syndicate guys still hanging around when he got there. And I can just imagine how Jet reacted to them. I'm sure he wasn't about to have a cup of tea with them and discuss the goings-on of the massacre that had occurred there that night.

And then there was one.

The cops wouldn't tell me a thing more. So I just forced myself to believe: He's dead. As dead as poor Jet is because of it all.

When I went back to the Bebop, I was about to let Ed know that Spike and Jet wouldn't be back, but then I realized that she already knew. I mean, she is Radical Edward, the baddest hacker of them all. I looked around for her. I couldn't find her or Ein, or even her ugly little computer.

A few weeks passed by. It was so damn quiet on the ship. I struggled to catch the biggest bounties that I could manage by myself. It wasn't easy at all, and there were a few close calls. I was so used to having everyone to help out a little. I think I took it for granted a little.

About two months later, Ed showed up one day, dog in tow. She said that her "father-person" had left Earth without her. Someone had kicked up his bounty and he was fleeing the bounty hunters.

I remember telling Ed that "belonging is the very best." She's getting older now, you know, the crucially important teenage years that can make or break you. She claimed to be about 13 when she first came to live on the Bebop, so that's got to make her close to 14 or 15 now. I couldn't just let her leave to fend for herself again. Not the new-old me.

So, now there are three. Three's a crowd, but still not enough to keep things running on the Bebop. We were having more and more problems with expenses, so about a month ago I decided that it was time to lead a more normal life.

And that brings us to the present. I just sold the Bebop for a nice fat credit to my card. And Ed is helping me save it so I don't blow it all in a casino, the dog track, or any kind of racing-gambling-betting-giving your money away type thing.

After a small shopping spree(Ed too, not just me), I got a nice little apartment on Mars that sits on top of a bar where I'm the new bartender. My kind of job, you know? Tomorrow, we move into the new place to start our new lives.

I'm terrified.

With this "new-old memory," I've come to realize that the Faye I have been since I woke up is nothing like the Faye I was back in my so-called "first life." I guess it really doesn't matter now, as Spike would say. But, I still can't help but think about what it'd be like if I all of a sudden flipped back to the old Faye. I think little by little, I'm blending a little of the old me into the present me. The Past Faye is giving the Present Faye a swift kick in the ass to get it together for the Future Faye.

"Faye-Faye?"

"Yeah, what's up Ed?"

"Whatcha writing?"

"Oh, nothing special. Just keeping a log of what's happened lately so I don't forget." I said with a small chuckle. Forget...how can I possibly forget anything?

How could I forget Jet?

...Or Spike?

"Faye-Faye?" Ed asked again.

"What?"

"What am I gonna do all day while you're working away-way?"

"Well, it's right downstairs, and I know you aren't serious...I mean, you've got your computer there and Ein...You should act like nothing has changed. Just the scenery." I said. I guess I'm not so good at this "being motherly" thing yet.

"Oh...cause I kinda wanted to start going to school."

"Ed?" I said, astonished.

"Yeeeeah?" she giggled.

"You think you need school? You're a frickin' genius, but if you want to go, I'll see what I can do. Just give me a little time."

"Can do!" she squealed and rolled around like she was on crack.

And have I ever mentioned that I don't think she has any bones?

Writing this is wearing me down emotionally...I need to take a break. Tomorrow the new life officially begins.

I'm still terrified.