Ok, so that last chapter turned out better than I thought it would. I'm kinda proud of it...Hopefully you'll like it too. Pfft, why am I talking about the last chapter when I'm giving you the next one? Hmm. Weird. Read on. Once again, thank you all for the reviews.
When she told me on the Bebop that her memories had come back, I was leaving. I basically said to her that the memories of her past meant absolutely nothing to me. And at that time, they honestly didn't. I won't lie. I didn't give a damn about anything at all, with the exception of hunting down Vicious and finding out my life really was just a dream once and for all. My Julia was dead and Vicious was not my dream, but my nightmare after she closed her beautiful blue eyes.
And now Faye's memories are really hurting her. I don't know exactly why, but I feel a little guilty for not caring back then. Not much, but a little guilt is enough to do damage to my ego.
It's not how she smells. It'd be so damn cliché of me to say that.
It's not her silky smooth skin. Once again, cliché.
It's not her deep jade and deeply jaded eyes that give her that youthful appearance, yet age her beyond numbers. Cliché.
So what is it that makes me want to be a better person to her? Before I didn't give a damn about changing for Faye Valentine. Pfft...the idea never even crossed my mind. She was a greedy, conniving wench that I couldn't stand for more time than I had to. Once in a while, she wouldn't be too bad to be around, but that was probably because I was sleeping or drunk or something. Just being in her presence now fills me with such a feeling that I can't shake it off as obligation. What is it now that makes me want to simply be around her?
I feel a cool draft roll across my naked back and look over to see the window still open. I released myself from her, got up, put on my pants, and walked over to it. She moaned out quietly and made me smile; it was just so damn cute...so unlike my memories of her.
Sure, she's changed. I think I'd change too if I were an amnesiac and then "BAM!" all my memories came back to me. I've got so much to learn.
The sun is rising slowly over this sleepy Mars village now, and it's creeping warmth beckons me out to the patio. I've always wanted to wake up with the sunrise every morning after being in space so long, but being awake for it already is good enough.
I grabbed a cigarette and sat down. I was dead tired after staying up all night to watch over her. I refused to let myself fall asleep. I dug around her apartment and found that she kept Jet's computer from the Bebop. I started to wonder what else she kept when I saw a bonsai tree sitting on the windowsill in Ed's room. I smiled and turned back to the computer.
With a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, I looked into the cryo lab that she supposedly woke up in. It took some finessing to find the damn place online, but after living with Ed on the Bebop, I was starting to feel kind of Radical myself.
I found her records(and the grand total on her debt, which wasn't really that surprising to me after all the times that I've witnessed her gambling habits) fast enough and started scrolling through her known medical history. There wasn't that much detailed information because it said that a good portion was lost due to the gate accident. But, if the timeline is right, the gate accident was what caused her to be put into cold sleep. So why would her medical records be missing after that? I'll have to get some more help from Ed later on.
I hadn't even been born yet when that happened. I always heard stories about it from my grandfather and later from guys I knew in the syndicate. I felt pretty knowledgeable about it, but that doesn't mean I know everything. I wasn't there when it happened.
And that reminds me of the horrifying fact that Faye was there.
There was always room for something to be covered up. Maybe she might remember something...I'll have to remember to ask her later on when she's doing better.
From there I found some slightly related info and tried to cover the leads as best as I could without actually leaving the apartment. I didn't get very far, but I did get ahold of one doctor that made me hopeful, and even more skeptical about the whole thing. It really stunk of a huge cover up, by who and why? I couldn't think of anything logical. It didn't help that I was exhausted and starving, either.
Faye's only going to get worse before she gets any better. If she gets better.
I don't know if I can bear to lose another woman in my lifetime.
I've realized very quickly that I can't let her go now. There's so much I need to talk to her about.
It will just have to wait until she wakes up. She needs her rest, and I'll be damned if I wake up to talk about this after last night.
I wish that anyone else could tell her. I can't stand the thought of being the one who breaks this all to her. If what that doctor told me is true, that is.
I looked at the time. It's 7:32 now. Good thing it's a Saturday, because I don't want to leave Faye to haul Ed to school. My stomach launches an all-out assault and gurgles at me to give it something to eat. It's really got a mind of its own. I shut down the computer and make my way to the kitchen.
Damn I hate cooking. Jet was the one who always did this, so I got lazy and pretty much lost any cooking skills I might've had. I could always mix up a mean drink, but when it came to actually preparing food, forget it. Well, there were those kebabs...Just the thought of that experience sent a frigid chill down my spine.
As I was rummaging through the cabinets for anything I could eat instantly, I found a dusty bottle of vodka hiding behind stacks of Instant Ramen. I picked it out from behind the noodles, while grabbing a Ramen to eat. It was the bottle from the bar we got stuck in. She never drank it. The bottle was still brand new, once you dusted off the year and a half old layer of grime that had accumulated on it from storage.
Why did she save it? Having a little knowledge of Faye's drinking habits, that thing shouldn't even exist anymore. She could have easily downed that thing by herself in a night. But it remains intact. Really strange.
"What? Are you going to party without me?" she said from behind me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"This is an old bottle of booze you've got here." I said holding the bottle up.
"You remember that?" she asked, yawning.
I nodded and put it back into the cabinet. She's still wearing my shirt. It drapes over her like a faded yellow parachute, but damn, it looks sexy on her.
"You hungry?" she said with a small smile, noticing that I was checking her out.
"Yeah, but I found this Ramen here. Problem solved." I said and pulled the string on the bottom of the cup, rendering the cup of Ramen into hot carbohydrate-goodness.
"Ok. I'm going outside to smoke." She said and headed back toward her room.
I nodded at her and started to gobble down the noodles. After tossing the container in the garbage, I walked quietly to the patio, because Ed's still asleep. Ein was up though, and was following me around now.
Faye sat in her white wrought-iron chair and stared off at the buildings that rose up around her little patio while slowly enjoying a cigarette. When I sat down next to her, her attention came back to the table, and to me.
"So what the hell wouldn't you tell me last night?" she asked with determination in her voice and blew smoke toward me.
I knew she wasn't going to give up on the subject so easily. I still don't want to be the one telling her...But I guess it better that I tell her before anyone else. I guess it's now or never.
"I got ahold of one of the not-so-evil doctors that monitored you while you were in cold sleep." I began to say when I stopped. Her face went ten shades paler in a second, and her jaw dropped a little. "I don't know if what he told me is true yet. I'm going to ask Ed to help me out to get some more info later on."
"What does that have to do with me blacking out, Spike?" she asked in a hushed and scared voice, her eyes growing wider with every word.
"I don't know yet. I don't want to get you worked up over it yet because I just don't have all the information, Faye. Please just listen to me. You have to stay as calm as possible or you could be harming yourself." I said and reached for the pack of cigarettes sitting on the table. Her hand reached out and grabbed mine.
"What's wrong with me, Spike?" she asked, pleading with me.
"It's all your good looks. They're finally going to your head." I joked and pulled my lighter out of my pocket. The fear in her eyes dimmed down a little, making me feel a little better. Faye blinked and looked off at a skyscraper that was nearby, taking a long drag on her cigarette with a blank expression on her face.
It was silent for a few minutes as we finished smoking, watching the lifeless buildings. With a quiet and wavering tone, Faye spoke, looking the other way, "I know you're just trying to lighten things up and I thank you for that." She paused.
Note to self: She just thanked me. That was a first.
"And I'm really glad that you're back. Alive. I didn't mean to yell at you at first. It was just habit. Sorry." She continued.
Note to self: She just apologized to me. Another first.
"Faye..." I said softly to her. She turned to me now, and now I saw why she was hiding her face from me in the first place. Her eyes were welling up with tears. Something I'm sure she doesn't want me to see her do. Not after what happened the first and last time she cried in front of me.
Picking up that she was terrified about what was going on with her, I got up from my chair and walked over to her side to try and comfort her. I kneeled down and looked up at her face, now looking down into mine. "Nothing to cry about, ok?" I said with a reassuring smile that I hoped she'd see and receive.
I only want to see her happy.
That is what I owe her. If I can't make her happy after all the shit she's gone through because of me and is about to go through because of her past, then I will move to Callisto and become a drag queen among the likes of Julius. I know he can teach me the way to pick up some guys. I bet I'd be a sexy looking woman, too. Like a super model...a boy can dream, can't he?
HA! Oh man, that was a good one. Seriously though, if I can't simply make the woman happy, then I don't know what I'll do. Seems like the least I can do.
"And what if everything doesn't turn out fine?" she sniffled.
"Well, then what's the worst thing that could happen? You screw up and we all die." I said.
Her eyes widened and she recognized what I was refering to. I don't think it was appreciated it because I was quickly smacked in the arm. She laughed quietly and wiped her eyes with the oversized sleeve of my shirt. It's at least three or four sizes too big on her. She looked into my eyes, searching for something. Smiling, she wraped her arms around my neck and buried her head in the crook of my neck.
Before I fall over from strain of sitting like this, I return the hug and fold my arms around her. She slowly released herself from her grip on me and sat normally in her chair. I stood up slowly and made my way to the other chair.
"I just realized that you basically know just about everything I've done in the last year and a half, yet I know nothing of what you've been up to." She said with a suggesting look in her eyes as I was sitting back down. That came from out of nowhere.
"And what made you realize that?" I said cooly, trying to brush off the unexpectedness of the question.
"Just keeping the conversation going." She said, grabbing another cigarette.
No sense in withholding now. Plus, it really wasn't that exciting. "I spent the first four months in a hospital where I couldn't be found, the two months after that recuperating from laying around all that time, and the year following drifting from place to place, cashing in my chips with old friends."
"Why'd you wait until now to find us?" she asked somberly, lighting the cigarette. Fair question.
"Don't know. Must have been because you scared me away." I said grinning, reaching for the pack of cigarettes, only killing the grin when I noticed that she winced in reaction to my reply.
"I was just...trying to stop..." she sputtered out and took a long drag of cigarette.
"Sorry for not listening to you before." I said placing my hand on her free hand, trying to put her at ease. This new Faye is so much more fragile than the bitchy shrew I was so used to. I guess I have to watch what I bring up.
She slowly regained a stable demeanor and put out her cigarette. I don't know if I like the new Faye or the old one more. I kind of miss being able to bicker with her. It was fun to do once in a while, even though it was highly irritating after so much.
"I've got to work tonight. I can't miss another night." She said and stood up. "I'm going to catch a shower. Ed should be getting up soon. Oh, and try not to sneak in on me this time." She said with a wink.
"Sounds like an invitation to me." I said to her as she headed inside.
"Maybe another day, cowboy." She called back to me.
I sat there and puffed away on my cigarette, drifting off into a nap in the warm sunshine that surrounded me.