Fearing Love, an inuyasha fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own any Inuyasha Charaters.

Fearing of Love

She was sick and tired of it. She was nineteen years old and Sesshomaru still treated her like the day he met her. She could never leave the past the gardens of his castle. She was just a baby to him. She had never disobeyed him but now she felt she had too. Loving him with her heart and soul wasn't working anymore. He would soon chose a mate.

That wasn't her.

She couldn't blame him. All she was, was a worthless human to him.

Worthless...

He could never care for her. He would never understand how much it hurt. How much she cried at night knowing that her lord would never love her. She knew he didn't love. At once she thought he did.

At once being the keywords.

When he saved her from death she thought he was the most wonderful thing in the world. She thought that his emotionless face was just a way of peace for him. At one time she thought she saw more to her lord.

There was no more.

He did not care for anything.

That is why she must leave. She needed to find another. Another who would not break her heart into a million pieces by just looking at them. Another who would never make her cry at night. Another who thought of her as a queen and never as a mere servant. This another would never...

Ever...

be...

Lord Sesshomaru.

Rin sighed and walked off the castle grounds. The full moon would guide her tonight. It would guide her away. Away from it all.

Away from Lord Sesshomaru...

Sesshomaru woke just as the sun poured its rays through his window from the east. He lifted his face from his pillow smiling. It was amazing how stone cold he used to be until she came into his life. His Rin. She would be his one day and nobody else's but for the mean time he would wait two more years until he thought she was ready.

He had had another dream of her last night. She ran with their daughters with the rainbow colors of the wild flowers as he sat and watched smiling. They were so much like thier mother. Free, beautiful, and full of life. While she was out in his girls he sat and held his son. His son reached up to him with human hand and he smiled at him. Their life was absolutely perfect. They were living a beautiful dream and he intended it to be that way.

Sesshomaru rose from his bed and put on his stone cold face as he always did. He walked out of his chambers only to have a green fool running up to him in absolute panic. Sesshomaru wondered what 'horrible thing' had happened. Jaken was always the first to report in a whiny, pestering, way.

"Mi lord! Something terrible has happened!"

"What is it Jaken?"

"Oh Mi lord! Nobody can find Rin. The servants have no idea where she is!"

His heart skipped a beat. Rin? His Rinny?

"Have you checked the gardens?"

"Yes Mi Lord we have checked every where! She is no where to be in sight!"

Without another word the Lord leapt out the nearest window and strode across the top of the trees outside. He caught her scent instantly. But it was hours old. She had left east through the forest. He smelled no other scent. Had she left on her own? By herself? Willingly? B-but why? He had given her the care and comfort of a beautiful home and with enough flowers to last her a lifetime. She loved to read and there must have been a million books in his library. Why had his Rin left?

Sesshomaru clenched his hands on the side. She sure as hell was not going to leave without an explanation. In fact she was not going to leave period! She was his! She was everything he had ever wanted and more. He had found love. The love that he thought he could never have. She was perfect.

Sesshomaru caught her scent but his eyes went wide with worry. She was with a snake demon...

Rin ran as fast as she could Her breaths were harsh and rapid with fear. She had been running for an hour and she was running out of strength and energy. She had skipped over the large roots of trees and fell into two pools of water. 'If only Sesshomaru were here he would kick this snake demon's ass!' she thought.

'NO! I CAN'T THINK THAT! I RAN AWAY TO GET AWAY FROM HIM NOT TO THINK OF HIM!'

Rin reached a clearing in the forest when she fell. This was it. She gave up. It wasn't like she had much more to live for. She was going to die alone. But that's all she was. Alone.

The snake reached the clearing and grinned evilly. He bared his fangs and stared at her throat. He was two steps away from her when Sesshomaru fell through the trees and sliced him at a slant through the snake's body. The snake demon was dead before he even his the ground.

Sesshomaru tried to pacify himself by breathing slowly but that didn't work. He had almost lost his Rin. What the hell was she doing out there anyways?!

"Rin," He called out her name to her lying form on the ground. She got up.

"Sesshomaru. Thank you." She bowed to him, "I owe you my life. But I'm afraid I must... D-Depart my Lord." She said nervously. She turned away from him and started to walk away when Sesshomaru lashed out and grabbed her hand.

"What do you think you're doing Rin? Where are you going?! Why are you leaving?" Sesshomaru asked angrily.

'More importantly why are you leaving me?' he thought.

"It's time for me to be on my own my Lord. I am a young woman who needs to move on with her life. I'm sorry I intruded on your life. It was very rude of me. I was a mere child. Please forgive me."

'INTRUDED!' Sesshomaru screamed through his thoughts. 'She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's lying there has to be something more. Why wont she look at me?'

"You're lying Rin," he pointed out, "You can't even face me and tell that to my face. Never would I have thought that you of all people would lie to me."

"Lord Sesshomaru in all due respect," she started in monotone, "it's none of your business."

His eyes went wide in disbelief. She had to be mad at him. But why? What had he done.

"Rin! What's wrong with you?! You have never acted like this?"

"I assure you there is nothing wrong with me."

She was shutting him out. After years of friendship and companionship she was shutting him out. 'NO!' he screamed in his thoughts, 'she can't do this. I have to tell her now or I'll lose her forever.'

"Rin...I...I..."

"Yes My lord?"

"I love you."

Rin's eyes went wide but he could not see. Her back was still faced towards him. She smiled but this dismissed it. 'No Rin. Don't be stupid.' she thought, 'He doesn't love you in that way.' She sighed and replied.

"I love you too Sesshomaru, as my friend, and brother. Thank you for watching over me."

'No Rin don't you get it' he thought frantically.

"Rin you said that you owed your life to me." Sesshomaru took two steps to her backside and put his arms around her waist. "You can owe it to me by being my mate, bearing my children, and making each other happy. Don't you want that Rin?"

'Please let her feel the same way! Please! Please! Please! Don't leave me Rin. I wont let you!'

Rin let the tears she had been holding fall from her eyes down her cheeks. She turned around in Sesshomaru's arms and stared up at his face. She saw truth in his eyes but she couldn't believe what she was hearing. He wanted her and loved her. This is all she had wanted.

Sesshomaru had no idea why she was crying but he kissed each tear away from her cheeks and after he was done soaking her salty tears through his mouth he held her. Her whipered words to her that surprised her. It wasn't like her Sesshomaru to spill out his emotions. She could hear and feel his heartbeats. She recognized them to be like her own when that snake demon chased her she had been afraid. Lord Sesshomaru was...

Afraid?

That made no sense.

'But it does' said a voice in her head. She recognized the voice but shook the silly thought away.

'No Rinny dear. You're not a fool. I am who you think I am.'

'Mother!'

'Rin your father says hi. I only have a short time to say this. Do not hide your emotions from him. He is afraid he will lose the only person he has ever loved. I know you are afraid too. Afraid he will break your heart. But he wont Rin he loves you. He told he he loves you. He is the last thing you have on this earth. Let go of your fear. Love him with all of your heart.'

Rin cried more. Her mother was right. 'Thank you mommy. I love you.'

'Stop crying dear child it will be alright. I love you my Rin. Good bye.'

Rin stopped crying as her mother said and then heard Sesshomaru whisper words of love to her.

"Be with me and be happy..."

"Love me and you will receive all of my love in return..."

"I will protect you from everything you fear..."

"All I ask of you is to be with me..."

It was time to let go of what she feared most from him. He was terrified right now just like her. Both were terrified that on this day two hearts would shatter to pieces and be left in the dust. She looked up at him and smiled brightly. The sun was now over then and shining through the autumn leaves. Yellow and orange leaves fell around them. They both were on the clouds without a care in the world. The wind circled around then and she kissed his nose and giggled.

"I love you too Sesshomaru..."

And so a bright future begins...

Rin and Sesshomaru wish everyone a happy life...

The End

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-mT96