Well, I took my boyfriend to lose his virginity last night (perfect valentine's day gift, right?) and was thus inspired. Poor Yuki. All warnings still stand.
ff.net seems to be messing with my fonts. My apologies for the sudden change.
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(Ashitare as the Narrator seated at desk in smoking jacket.)
Nuriko & Hotohori: (Leading the cheer) U G L Y You ain't got no alibi. You ugly. Hey, hey, you ugly!
Chiriko: Doggie want a bone?
Soi: Doggie want a neck?
Ashitare: I would like-
Nuriko: You know you would.
Ashitare: If I may-
Hotohori: Not 'til you fix that face!
Ashitare: To take you on a strange journey.
Soi: So strange they made a book out of it?
Yui: Don't open that book!
Ashitare: (Flipping through the book showing pictures) It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors
Tasuki: Miser!
Ashitare: and his fiancée Janet Weiss,
Miboshi: Pig!
Ashitare: two young ordinary healthy kids,
Nuriko: How healthy can they be? They're virgins?
Ashitare: left Denton that late November evening to visit Dr Everett Scott,
(There is a brief pause while everyone waits for Nakago to fill in the line, but he's not around…)
dodger-chan: Did he run away?
Soi: Spoil sport…fine then. Zieg Heil!
Ashitare: ex. tutor and now friend of both of them. It's true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black and pendulous, toward which they were driving. It's true also that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air. But they being normal kids and on a night out, well they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening.
(Miaka and Tamahome driving in heavy rain. Tamahome is trying to see through the window. Miaka is eating.)
Ashitare: It was a night out they were going to remember for a very long time.
Miaka: (between bites) That's the third *munch* motorcycle I've seen go past. They certainly *munch* take their lives in their hands, especially in this *munch* weather.
Tamahome: Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type.
Tasuki: Cheaper than you?
(Car slows and stops. Headlights shine on a "Dead end" sign"
Miaka: (spitting crackers as she talks) What's the matter?
Hotohori: Someone was too cheap to order the complete road.
Tamahome: I think we took the wrong fork a few miles back.
Soi: Yeah, you grabbed a salad for, but your pig was clearly eating dessert.
Miaka: But then where did those motorcycles come from?
Tamahome: Well, I guess we'll have to turn back.]
Nuriko: Don't turn back!
(Car reverses and tire explodes)
Nuriko: Told you so.
Miaka: What was that bang?
Soi: Foreshadowing!
Tamahome: Must have been a blow-
Soi: job?
Tamahome: out. (hits car) I knew I should have spent the money on that spare tire!
Hotohori: Cheapskate.
Tamahome: You wait here. I'm going to go try to find help.
Miaka: Where? There's not been a restaurant or food mart for miles; we're in the middle of nowhere.
Tamahome: I think I saw a castle a bit back. Maybe they have a phone I could use.
Nuriko: Castles don't have phones, cheapskate.
Tamahome: (under his breath) or a treasure vault I could access….
Miaka: I'm coming with you.
Tamahome: There's no reason for both of us to get wet.
Soi: Too late.
Miaka: I'm coming with you. Besides, the owner of that castle may be a beautiful woman,
Nuriko: He is.
Miaka: and she might have something for us to eat.
Chiriko: In a sense….
One piece of advice I'd like to get. The twins are Riff-Raff and Magenta, but which one's which? Review and send your opinion.