OCOH October challenge – I missed the September 'first' part of the challenge, so had to summarize that before part 2 starts.
Carter and Abby have just had a fight, words were spoken, and feelings hurt. Now it's up to you to fix it.
One of them has to say; "I'm sorry for being an ass."
For whatever reason, Carter needs to pick up an item of Abby's clothing.
Word limit is 1500-2000
Authors notes: I tried to keep them in Character, but it's hard knowing how people change over the course of a year. Enjoy! Let me know what you think.
Summary:
Abby was there for Carter after Kem left and the baby died. Slowly they began to rebuild their friendship. Abby was a shoulder for him to lean on; and Carter misconstrued the situation. So when she invited him over for a meal to celebrate his birthday, he thought things were taking a slightly different route.
Previously on ER:
Carter walked over to where Abby was looking through her CD's, the soft background music that had been playing through dinner had finished and Abby had suggested something a little more upbeat. Carter had laughed at that description of her music, but for a peaceful evening kept his comments to himself.
"Thank-you, Abby."
"For what?' Abby paused searching through her collection and turned to face him.
"For dinner." He moved closer to her. "For being here." He reached her, placing his hands on her hips. He then whispered, "For letting me back into your life."
"Forget about it." She tried to keep her voice level as she watched his mouth move towards to hers.
As he reached his lips softly grazed hers, before pushing against them forcing her lips open with his tongue, she gasped at his taste. The long forgotten sensations were tingling throughout her body. As his hands began to roam higher, feathering touches up and down her back she brought her hands to the nape of his neck running her fingers through his hair.
Eventually she had to pull back; gasping for breath she saw her look of elation reflected in the mirror opposite. Panicking, she immediately pulled back, gasping for air and a sense of realism. "Stop!"
"I..."
"Save it Carter." She raised her hand gesturing for him to keep quiet and made her way round to the kitchen, hoping the space and table between them would be enough. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"
"Kissing you." He said slowly, confused. "I thought that's what you wanted?"
Now it was Abby's turn to look confused. "What I wanted? How the hell do you figure that one out?" She only just managed to keep her voice in check as her anger started escalating.
"You invited me over for dinner; you turned down the lights and put on our mood music. You've been sending me signals for months." He nervously started justifying his actions.
"What?" She asked incredulously, the panic induced anger really starting to take hold. "The only 'signals' I've been sending you are ones of friendship and of support."
"But..."
"No buts." Her temper was fraying at his insistency on something that wasn't there. "You think that after everything we've been through, that what you did, what I did, these last two years could be forgotten and swept under the carpet?"
"So if you haven't forgiven or forgotten what happened? What the hell are you doing in my life anyway?"
"I don't know John. You tell me." She spat back at him.
He looked at her, her eyes blazing with fury, and knew nothing he could say or do would change her mind. So deciding to cut his losses, he walked up to her door, pulled it open and slammed it on his way out.
This story starts two months later, neither have spoken to each other away from the context of work and the rest of the ER staff are getting very pissed off.
Up On The Roof:
"Will you just talk to him?" Susan asked as she witnessed yet another scene of Abby snubbing Carters orders.
"No." Abby carried on walking down the corridor, forcing Susan to follow her.
"Abby this silence has been going on for months and the tension between the two of you is killing the rest of us."
"Haven't you guys got anything better to do?' Then it clicked 'who' she was talking about. "Forget I said that."
"It's verging on disrupting your work." All this rewarded her with was an eye roll and a snort. "I'm serious, and I'm not the one telling you this, but Kerry has noticed it too."
That stopped Abby momentarily, it was one thing for the other staff to notice, but Kerry could make things difficult for her and this whole situation. "And?"
"Well, she may have organized a meeting between the two of you."
Groaning, Abby responded. "When for?"
"Sometime this afternoon is what I heard."
"And how did you hear this?"
"Randi's cousin is temping in Weavers office, she told Randi, who mentioned it to Jerry..."
"... and now everyone knows." Abby finished for her, "and are gossiping about how 'Carter and Abby' can't even be friends after such a minor incident. But if it happened to them it wouldn't be so minor." She bit off angrily, what happened with Carter had seriously gotten to her and she'd been having a lot of trouble keeping her feelings in check.
"I know. Carter was an ass." Having heard this story a 'few' times over the last two months Susan's tone reflected her amused but verging on annoyance tone. "But he didn't understand your motives. Abby you led him on just as much as he did you."
"I didn't lead him on. I was his friend. After the hell of a year he went through, that I went through having to watch it. I didn't think he'd do that."
"It was just a kiss."
"It was inappropriate."
"Abby, you made him a meal. In your apartment." Susan tried to reason with her, knowing full well that her efforts were in futile. "You set the scene for seduction."
Abby shot her a look of irritation.
"How do you think he would act?'
"I didn't expect him to come on to me." She thought back to that night and the events that led up to the kiss. The kiss was so tender and thoughtful and had she not glimpsed herself in the mirror, seen her euphoric expression and been appalled with herself, she wasn't sure what events would have transpired that evening. Shaking her head at such thoughts, she looked at Susan, forced a smile and promptly changed the subject. "I should go, I've got a patient who needs a shoulder reduction and another four charts to start."
Susan watched her go. Something needed to be done and Sam's idea along with Kerry's cooperation was a great inspiration.
"John, can I have a word with you." The authority and annoyance in her voice was unmistakable.
"Sure Kerry, what's up?" He tried to keep it lighthearted, not remembering having done anything wrong.
"Things okay at home?' She asked while she headed them towards the empty lounge. He nods. "Sleeping okay?" Another nod. "No one bothering you at work?"
"I'm fine."
"Take a seat." She didn't so much ask as order him, as she pulled out her own chair at the table. "It's come to my attention that you're not getting along with a certain member of the ER staff. As an attending, it's your duty not to let these things affect your attitude or work. I've let it slide this long, now either you sort it out or I will."
Carter nodded.
"I'll be talking to Abby later this afternoon and you have by the end of the week to sort out your differences." Kerry stood up, smiling to herself while walking out the door.
"Susan said you were up here." Carter said as he reached the figure sat on the ledge. "I brought you your jacket, thought you might be cold."
"It's dirty." Examining it, she found the shape of a shoe was imprinted on the sleeve.
"It was on the floor. I had to pick it up." He said by explanation and joined her on the ledge.
"You know, normally if I saw someone sitting on the ledge of a 20 story building I'd call a suicide Psych consult. I'm guessing that's not necessary?"
She looked at him and he immediately picked up the 'are you kidding me' vibe she shot his way. Backing down he tried a nervous laugh to cover the uneasy moment.
"So Weaver spoke to you yet?"
"Why do you think I'm up here?" She deadpanned avoiding his searching look.
They sat in silent, Abby watching over the city, the sparkling lights from the buildings and cars were mesmerizing her. Carter was facing the doorway and wasn't focusing on anything except the person sat next to him.
"What happened with us?" Abby finally broke the silence; two months had been a long time not to talk. But it wasn't long enough for her to now be feeing uncomfortable, she was tired of lying to herself and to him. She wanted to try in her own way to figure things out and let them either go their separate ways or build a stronger friendship.
"Mixed signals?" He shrugged.
"Before that? What happened?"
"I wish I knew."
"Help me up?" She turned around flipping her legs back to solid ground and held her arms out to Carter who had already stood up. "You sitting here is making me nervous."
"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." The double meaning not going amiss on either of them. Helping her to her feet, he kept hold of one of her hands and led her to a more secluded area on the roof. It had been a gloriously hot day so chairs had been left on the roof by colleagues hoping to snatch a few minutes of sunshine, which meant that they had one each.
"You know, I never meant to lead you on. I just wanted you to help you."
"To fix me?" The sparkle in his eye told her he was joking, but she didn't want any of it. This wasn't the time for jokes.
"No, Carter, I wanted you to be happy again. I hated seeing you acting that way and feeling so void of emotion." Her eyes were softening as she spoke.
"That's the kind of thing that takes time. And might never happen."
"It does." Abby adamantly told him.
"You know?" He asked skeptically. "You know what it's like to lose the people you love, to lose a child?"
Keeping check on her emotions, she looked up into his eyes. "I know."
He watched her closely, knew that he was missing something about her, something that he'd never known.
"But we're not talking about me. We're here to discuss things so that we can work harmoniously downstairs."
"But not just for that?" He optimistically asked.
"Carter, I don't think we can be friends anymore." She bit down on her lip. "I don't think we should have even tried."
"What?"
"Carter, I want what's best for you, I'm just not what's best. I think we've proved that many times. As much as I hated the way you broke up with me, you were right in one aspect. We put each other up far too high on a pedestal. But you were wrong when you hoped we could be friends. You can't hurt each other that much and still be friends."
"You're wrong."
"Am I? We didn't hurt each other?" She was trying to make him see sense.
"To hurt someone, they have to care about you."
"I never said I didn't care about you. It's just that sometimes it's too much."
"Too much?"
Abby looked at him and nodded. "Look, can we just call a truce? We'll work together; we'll speak at work about work, but everything else we'll..."
"...I can't do that."
"We have to."
"I don't want to."
"I can't deal with it." She punctuated each word to maximize her affirmation.
"Look, Abby, I'm sorry being an ass that day. I shouldn't have kissed you. I just got swept up in the moment. But I can't 'not' have you in my life." She avoided his probing gaze as he spoke. "I learned that lesson the hard way."
"You're not making this easy on me."
"I don't want to." He reached over and squeezed her hand. "We worked on it though. You came back into my life and helped me sort things out. You wouldn't have done that if you were just going to walk away."
"No," she shook her head. "I knew that eventually I would have to walk. I'd have been lying to myself if I didn't. I just hoped I wouldn't have to. I hoped I could..." She stopped.
"Hoped you'd what?" he implored her. "Tell me, please."
"I hoped that I could put everything behind us, that we could go back to how it was before, where I could tell you everything, where you would talk to me about what was going on in your life." She didn't want to admit this, but it was the only way for him to see and understand. "After you kissed me, I realized that that could never happen. We can't just be friends, it will always mean more."
Standing up her mind was made up, she then tried to hide her emotions but her shaky voice gave her away. "I can't work with you. I'll hand my notice in."
She started towards the door. "Abby! ABBY!"
Reaching for the handle, she stopped and turned at his desperation. He saw the tears that were slowly falling down her cheeks. She didn't even try to wipe them; instead, she headed half running towards him and into his open arms.
"I don't like you." She mumbled against his chest.
"I can see that." He looked down at her, while she clung to him. "But I think you're stuck with me."
"Why can't I let you go?" She looked up to him; though her tears had stopped her eyes were red-rimmed, reminding Carter of her vulnerability. He began to slowly, rhythmically, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
"You're drawn to me?" He smiled at her.
Shaking her head, she managed to laugh. "That must be it. Though I can't think why."
"Abby, I know I hurt you. You hurt me too. But we've got all the time to figure it out."
Leaning up she planted a soft kick kiss on his lips. "So you want to tell Weaver the good news, or should I?"
"Why don't we both?" Moving around her, he placed his arm around her shoulder and led her to the doorway and back down to the ER chaos.