Cult Cupid: Chapter 2
Author: Freya
Disclaimer: You know what this means.
Setting: Same as all the other settings from 'Miss Cupid'.
Warnings: A/U, Shounen-ai/Yaoi, my pimp pairings (the king of the crop being 1x2x1 of course), inane humor, inappropriate language, mildly obscene activity, picking on preps, and enough bad puns and retarded spoofs to choke a horse! Are we having fun yet?
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"Duo, you're standing on my foot," Relena said calmly, resisting the urge to just shove him off of her.
"Oop, sorry Rel-can." Duo didn't realize in his nervous state that he'd backed up right onto her foot. "Want me to kiss it and make it feel better?"
She snorted and scanned the area for any sign of Heero. She had to get out of there and make her presence known to a bunch of preppy bitches before lunch was over. One could only 'powder their nose' for so long. "Duo, when I play jock-boy my name is Rel-kun."
"Can, kun, what's the difference? What's it all mean? Is this more nee-hang-ga crap? Heero muttered stuff like that to me before."
"Nee... what?" Relena said then began giggling when she pieced the syllables together and figured out what he meant. Duo couldn't understand Japanese words worth a damn and it was quite funny. "'Kun' is a Japanese suffix. 'Can' is what holds your soggy veggies and soup."
"Um... oh." He let out a nervous chuckle. "I never met anyone who could speak Japanese. Chinese, yes, but not Japanese."
"Yes you have. Nee-hang-ga (Nihango) is Japanese for the word Japanese. Heero speaks it too."
So many Asian languages, and Asian words for Asian languages. Duo's head felt like it was going to fall off from spinning so much. He could barely manage a 'C-' in Italian class; he didn't even want think of experiencing the nightmare of more complex languages outside of the romance ones. He preferred good old English (and so do I!)
"Duo!" Duo's face fell into a slight frown when a third party arrived. A third party... that wasn't Heero. "Damn it, I've been looking all over the place for you. How'd your counseling go?" Wufei snickered and gave his buddy a pat on the shoulder. Being an arrogant ass was one of his joys in life.
"I'll show you how it went.... right after I lay a smackdown on you," Duo said with an extremely irked tone and charged right into Wufei. The Chinese boy made a move to dodge, but Duo just barely got him. Sir Braid-king was bloody fast when he was pissed! And in Duo's glorious might, he managed to get Wufei's waist into a vice grip and lifted the obsidian eyed boy up onto his shoulder with little effort. The only problem was keeping Wufei from kicking him in the face.
"Put me DOWN damnit!!" Wufei yelled and pounded Duo's back with his fists. Well, not much since Relena saw this act of violence and latched hard onto his wrists. He looked her straight into the eyes for a mere instant and just scowled at her. She returned the nasty look she got with one of her own.
"Duo," spoke a forth party who'd arrived just at the right moment. This time it was Heero, and Duo was very nervous and excited. So much of both that he ended up dropping Wufei right on top of Relena without meaning to just to run over and greet his boyfriend.
"Hey, buddy." Duo landed a small, playful punch on his squeeze's shoulder in order to be macho. Macho? Bah, who was he kidding? It was nine whole days since he'd seen Heero and he wanted and hug. So that's what he got, a great big hug from his all knowing mate.
Wufei groaned after he stopped seeing stars and noted immediately that everything'd suddenly gone dark. Then he realized he hit his nose on something solid and it was bleeding. Then he felt two soft lumps brush against his cheek. About a second later, his head shot right up and he covered his face with his hands in shame. His face landed right in between Relena's boobs.
Wufei stood and bowed before Relena, apologizing in every way he could in his native tongue. There was no honor in what happened, even if it wasn't really his fault.
"You... don't have to apologize," Relena said sincerely, even though she was shaking and blushing like crazy. "It wasn't your fault."
Wufei was still mortified, but decided to switch to English just for the hell of it. He didn't catch the fact that Relena spoke fluent Chinese yet. "I feel ashamed. I bled on your shirt." He wiped the last of the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. Of all the colors to wear that day, Relena was wearing white too. "I'll replace it."
"Don't bother. I never did like this shirt anyway." She lifted herself to her feet, looked down at the large blood stain on her shirt, then lifted her head to glare at Duo, who was currently hiding behind Heero. He was only feigning fear though, little punk.
"Remind me never to buy you anymore then," Heero chimed in, seeing as the shirt she was wearing was one he bought for her. She then went white as a sheet, knowing all too well she'd have to hurt one boy or the other. Wufei was out of the question because for one, she didn't know him; what had happened was a total accident on his part, and she wanted him to stop apologizing already. Heero was as man as men could get, so he could handle a white lie... even though the shirt she was wearing was one of her favorites in reality.
"Fine, don't buy me anymore then." When he scowled at the remark she rolled her eyes for good measure. If there was just one person in the world that was completely immune to Heero's intimidation, it was Relena.
Going back to the issue at hand, she looked down at her shirt and frowned worriedly at the bloodstain. "This is going to be difficult to explain."
The purple-eyed demon decided now was a good time to stop playing wuss and help Relena out of the jam he'd unintentionally put her in. She was the one that got Heero to come in the first place; plus he had his sweet revenge on Wufei.
"I have an idea," Duo boasted abruptly, leaving his hiding spot and walking up toward the lockers. Wufei was still muttering quiet things to himself in Chinese, so he didn't have to worry about his buddy going ape on him... now.
"Whose locker is that?" Relena asked as soon as Duo opened the said locker that was located half a wall away from his own.
As soon as he yoinked out a white t-shirt that didn't have too many wrinkles on it, he slammed the spontaneous locker shut and re-joined the group. "This is one Hilde's many gym shirts. And... " he took a whiff of it and winced slightly. Only slightly, informing those who paid attention that it smelled bad... but not too bad (obviously) "It doesn't smell too bad. Her deodorant's a bit rancid, but if anybody asks you can just say you went for a jog."
Relena blinked once, sighed, took the shirt, slipped out of her tainted shirt, and slipped into Hilde's very quickly. Pretty bold thing to do in front of three boys. Then again, they were three boys who couldn't have cared less. Wufei wasn't paying any attention since he was still wallowing in his own shame; Heero was practically her brother now; and Duo was gay. Who gave a damn? Not to mention bathrooms and whatnot would've been crowded with preps and stuff. She couldn't afford to be seen with blood on her blouse. And their school was pretty cheep, so not every hallway had security cameras installed. Especially not the conveniently vacant one where Duo's locker had been located.
"Yo Wu-man," Duo shouted right into his friend's ear, causing the black-haired youth to spin-kick his leg and knock him over. As much as it hurt his bum, Duo always thought it was funny when Wufei did that to him. He was once given the nickname 'Masochist' by Hilde because of it. The way Duo would often pick on his buddy Wufei gave Duo's tiny group of friends the impression that he had a death wish. Then he was bequeathed the alias 'God of Death' every so often.
Heero just lifted a brow at his eccentric boyfriend's antics. Duo had the weirdest sense of humor.
"I'm NOT a woman!!!" Duo just snorted at his Chinese amigo and shoved the tainted blouse into Wufei's arms.
"Relena will forgive your sinful deed if you dispose of this evidence." Duo stuck his tongue out at Wufei and it took everything that Chinese boy had not to rip it out, wrap it around Duo's neck, and choke him the death with it. Then again, he knew that if he didn't drag Duo to Mr. Happy's office by the braid he wouldn't have gotten a 'face full of mounds' so to speak. This was mostly Duo's fault, but not all Duo's fault.
"Fine." Wufei snatched the blouse and headed off to the boys bathroom.
Once the whole awkwardness of the situation was over, Relena headed back to the cafeteria to greet 'the preptard bitchdom', leaving Heero and Duo all to themselves.
"So... do you torcher all of your friends like that?" Heero asked with an amused tone to his voice. Duo couldn't help but smile at Heero's morbid curiosity. That Japanese boy was such a cutie.
"Just the special ones."
Heero snorted. "So, whose boobs are you going to drop my face into?"
O'rich one had fallen right into that bear trap. Not two seconds later had Duo grabbed a fist full of Heero's hair and slammed his face it right into his chest.
"Ow! I said 'drop' not 'shove.'" Despite the irritating throbbing that was going on in Yuy's nose, he couldn't help chuckling while he complained.
"Damn, it's not bleeding. I guess Wufei was having pervy thoughts as well." Picking on that Chang boy was one of Duo's main joys in life.
"Sadistic bastard." Duo's nickname of the hour finally made itself known from Heero. Boy did that one ever fit. He was both of those... literally.
"Thanks... Rudolph." Well... Heero did have a red nose at the moment.
After all the jibber-jabber, Heero and Duo just stared at each other for a moment, not really knowing what to do now. It was high school after all; it was Spring; it was make-out season. All of that good stuff and so forth. They felt like jamming their tongues down their other's throat, but of course something always interrupted their nearly tender moments. The thing that interrupted them this time, was what sounded like two females arguing from afar. No later had that notion been confirmed once Hilde and Relena came into view, both looking positively pissed. Both... looking right at Duo.
"Duo!! How many times have I told you NOT to lend MY stuff to other people without asking first!?" As soon as she completed her sentence, both of her hands had taken ample fist fulls of Duo's t-shirt. "You can forget the bag of chips now!"
"Geez Hil, take some Ibuprofen before you decide to yell at me. Don't make me suffer the wrath of cramp season." This wasn't really the correct time to be making any jokes. Hilde had a lot of shirts though. Normally she wouldn't have minded clothing wise (as opposed to textbook and writing utensil wise), but it was indeed..... 'cramp season.'
"Fuck off you little weasel," she sneered at Heero when he tapped her shoulder. He was pretty short so she just assumed he was a random Freshman. Oh the not so wonderful blind rage brought to you by the menstrual cycle.
"Don't talk to him like that!" Duo said, suddenly in a horrifically rotten disposition. Every time someone saw Heero they always got the wrong impression of him. Well, okay, so Hilde was only the second friend of his to have met Heero. That didn't make it any less annoying however.
"Oh my god... don't tell me that's... " She watched as Duo rested his hands on either side of Heero right shoulder and lent his head right on top of them. Her fear was confirmed; time of the month let it's wrath be know, hence Duo's boyfriend now had a bad impression of her. She felt more than embarrassed right then and there. She was downright grief stricken. Today just wasn't anybody's day.
"Hi... " Heero said finally once the fierce look in her eyes seemed to calm down. Relena had taken the liberty of clutching one of Heero's arms for support. It wasn't as if Heero was afraid of Hilde; he was afraid of himself. If she'd done anymore than clutch Duo's shirt in that violent manner, he would've probably knocked her out cold. He never did seek out those anger management classes Relena had suggested only about a thousand times.
"I... am so sorry I snapped at you... Heero was it?" She gave him a nervous grin after he nodded. It wasn't every day one made an ass in front of another's boyfriend without them even knowing.
"You must be Hilde. Duo never shuts up about you."
"He-e-ey, I do too shut up about her."
Heero snorted. "Yeah, you do when you want to talk about Wufei."
"W-well." Now he had a nervous grin on his way-too-cute-for-words face. Heero could see why Duo and Hilde make excellent friends. Same reason why he and Relena did. The whole siblings-yet-not-really-siblings complex. Oh so weird...
"Duo just thinks his life's a bit boring, that's all," Hilde chimed in to the lover quarrel in attempts to rescue Duo. Oh Heero and Duo, their love is like a tag team wrestling match. The real kind... not the fake.
And then... the bell to class rang!
TBC
A/N: Yuck, I should've updated this sooner. Damn busy schedual -cough- laziness -cough- Get this, my alias at school is officially Bob! XD I got my Geometry teacher to call me Bob and now I'm working on getting my Italian teacher to as well LOL.
I just remembered something I noticed about a month ago. If you have the movie "Frosty the Snowman" that little blonde that takes him to the North Pole looks just like Relena XD Why I was watching an X-mas movie in the middle of August you ask.............. I'm a strange person, okay. That's the only excuse I can give you LOL.
Now, review responses:
Inuyasha-Luv-Kagome - F-F-FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!! XD Sorry, couldn't resist. I have a different title at school every year (I was a pyro back in 8th grade XD) And yeah, I did the shounen-ai. Did Yuy not give his coot lil monster a hug? Don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from. I don't rate stories 'R' just so I can spew the F-bomb frequently yanno ;) Thanks for reading :D
Dark Angel of Grace - Thankies!! I know, because I talk to mah teddy too )
trajik007 - Cooooooooookie!!! Is it an oreo!? Can I eat it now!? XD Yay, you fell for the story!! Thank you for the review!!
Feanturi Dindel - I'm glad you had an opportunity to read it too. You're the third reviewer in a row I don't recoginise. This makes me feel good; thank you for reviwing. I want as many people as possible reading and enjoying this story. And I fully agree with you, HS is a real drag.
kari073 - Thank you so much!! I'm glad you like the characterization (it's the one thing I bust myself up most over.) I was going for the some-what crafty sort while trying to remain fairly IC. Public display of affection pisses me off with a passion, that's why this fic's setting won't 'only' be the school... if you catch my drift ;)
einld - Woo hoo! Thanks for reviewing this piece of work!! Glad you enjoyed this and MC :)
animeLily009 - Oh my, hope I'm not too late -taps fingers innocently together- Could you please blame my school instead? XD THANK YOU for reviewing this fic with such... enthusiam. That was really nice to see (don't die on me PLEASE)
xRubySohox - YAY! I feel loved now. Thank you for reading and enjoying the fic :D
Ink2 - Nah, my plot bunnies weren't getting any vacation shots that would make any sense XP Glad you're continuing to read this hunk-o-junk XD
inthefire2002 - Milliardo should wear a dress. Him, Trowa and Treize (see the pattern? The fandom's super semes! XD All because they're more than 156cm tall) Duo can't really see auras. It's more like he can feel them (like how you can sometimes feel somebody next to you's in a rotten mood or... you know) Thanks for coming over to the sequel! Glad to see ya again XD
MELM - Yay! You are here too -does a cool dance- thank you, I feel loved now that I rock XD And hey, any reviewer of mine rocks ten times more!
Muchacha - Yesh! Another familiar one. Hi hi D Thanks for reading, and the thing with the lockers XP I used to always hit my head on top lockers XP I hate lockers. I prefer my good old bookbag LOL.
Skarlet Red - That comment right there made me name Duo's counceller Mr. Happy XXXD Thanks for coming to the sequel!
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Final Note: Holy f... 13 reviews that was!! Had I got one more it would've been twice the amount of reviews 'Miss Cupid' got on it's first chapter (yes, I remember that stuff because I genuinly appreciate it.) I love you all!! Rock on, people!!