Messenger of the Deities I (Apollo/Artemis)
Disclaimer: blah blah blah. do we even NEED a disclaimer for myth and lore?! Some people are SO paranoid.
(From Apollo to Artemis)
Dear Sister,
How have you been? I am fine.
That fool Eros-I just can't stand him. He is a spiteful, wilful, spoilt brat, and not even a week of hard discipline with Ares could turn his oversized brain. His head is completely devoid of all feeling and intellect, and he is a babyish creature with no knowledge at all.
Ha! He has the spiteful heart of a wolf, the empty brain of an ass, and the fat body of a pig. He should never have come to live on Olympus. He should have stayed in the pigsty with the rest of his breed and learnt how to grunt for food. That, I feel, is his brain's capacity.
If I had my way, I would kick him out of Olympus. That foolish whore-Aphrodite-is so protective of him. Even when someone mentions that his arrows grazed a person and there was an extra soul in the Underworld, Aphrodite will jump to his defence and whine about he being just a child and just mischievous. If that were true, then Half-mum Hera likes us.
Yours,
Apollo
Dear Brother,
Well-I can't say I like Aphrodite and Eros much, but I don't exactly hate them, either. So I won't shoot them for you, sorry. They're immortals, anyway, they can't die.
What did you say to Eros? Did you tell him everything you told me? I'm sure you did-I know you best. Well, if you mocked, ridiculed or insulted him, you are in trouble. He is a spiteful child, adept at exacting terrible revenge. You had better watch your steps.
I have to go now-the Moon is calling to me. Again, be careful, brother. You don't know Eros's ability to hate. He hates almost as much as me, and that IS saying something.
Faithfully,
Artemis
Dear Sister,
Ha! You say it as if he can kill me, or something like that. What is HE capable of? He with the ass's mind will never be able to harm ME! Even if he enlists the help of the flirting whore Aphrodite, what can he do to me? Even when I told him my feelings about him, all he did was stalk away. Probably, he ran to his Aphrodite and started bawling his head off. Crybaby!
Sister, your head is turned by their false impersonations of the idea of "love"! And now you are chiding me? Your folly is great if you do not take my side in this battle!
I admit it, I have ridiculed and teased him. But it was only truth that came out of my mouth. He is everything I told you. It is only that you have a high opinion of their lies of "love", and thus you do not join me in my views of them! Think again, Sister!
Yours,
Apollo
Brother,
You think too rashly. I pleaded eternal chastity, remember? What use would I have, then, of love? Do not offend me.
Also, about Eros. You are stubborn. Do not mock him, or scoff at the notion of his intellect. He may well be plotting against you now. His vengeance is sweet. If you underestimate him, you will find yourself, and your life, in shreds. With Aphrodite, his power is doubled. YOU are the fool of you do not hearken to my words.
Eros is sensitive and quick to take offence. He broods anger in his heart, and it is like a dagger pierced in. He is hard-hearted. Slow to forgive and slow to forget. If you had any wisdom. you would go apologise to him without further delay. Do not scorn my words.
Gravely,
Artemis