Chapter 31: Caitlin's Angry Husband
With the Bad Hams...
Mike, Becky, Roger, Caitlin, Natsu, and Megan were still talking at their table. The Numbers had gotten up and gone to the game room to play pool and Poker. After a few more minutes, Mike got up from the table and suggested, "How about we all go up to the game room, too? The maids are probably wanting to clean up this place, no?"
The five other Bad Hams nodded as they stood up and walked out the door. Mike stopped Caitlin before she walked out after the other four Bad Hams and whispered, "I think you ought to call your husband now, don't you?"
Caitlin breathed slowly and heavily. "I guess," she whispered as she walked out of the dining room. She walked slowly down the hallway that led to the phone. When she came to the phone, Caitlin took a deep breath and let it out slowly before she picked up the phone and dialed the clubhouse's number. After a few rings, she heard Boss answer, "Hamha???" His voice was uptight and tense.
"Hey, Boss Woss," Caitlin said into the phone.
She heard Boss take a deep breath as if he was trying to hold himself from exploding on her before he said anything. "Where are you, CC? I'm worried about you. You're calling from a number that says 'Unknown Caller' on the Caller ID! Who else are you with other than Natsu and Megan?"
"Um...Bossy..."
"What?!"
"...Nothing. Nothing at all."
Boss sighed again. "Just tell me where you are. I was thinking about it for the past two days, and I thought you would be back by now, so I called yesterday, but no one answered. I called last night, and someone picked up the phone..."
"Who?" Caitlin was breathing hard by now.
"I dunno, but they spoke in a harsh tone, and I asked where you were. They just said that you were conferring with 'The Enemy', and then they hung up. That's all they said. Now, CC, who is 'The Enemy'?"
"...I believe I don't know what you're talking about."
"CC...I was thinking last night, and I was thinking about that..."
"You thought?"
"Yes. Now, lemme finish. I was thinking about 'The Enemy' last night, and I remembered we only had one enemy, which are the Bad Hams. If I am led to believe this is correct, then you are with the Bad Hams."
Caitlin stopped breathing. "Why would I be with them?"
"They're in Hamster City, and I know it. They're not at their usual place, so it's there."
"But I'm not with them."
"Caitlin-Chan Taisho-Kun Nicole Montgomery, tell me the truth now. Where are you, and who are you with? If that's not good enough to say, I'm also going after you. I'm leaving in a few minutes. So I suggest you tell me instead of letting me finding out where you are exactly."
Caitlin took a deep breath and thought for a second. I could tell him the truth plain right out. The consequence would be him prolly divorcing me and banishing me from the clubhouse and away from all my friends. If I told him a lie like, "Oh, I've been taken by the Bad Hams.", he would come here, and then he'd be in trouble himself because I told him a lie, and he'd be even more angry. If I told him a lie like, "Oh, puh-lease. I'm just with my friends chillin' out. Stay home.", he'd prolly come anyway.
"CAITLIN-CHAN, TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW!" Boss's voice had rage and ferocity in it. Caitlin could hear a few of the Ham-Hams in the background rushing over to him to try to soothe him, but she could hear him pick up a plate and throw it at the wall. She heard the plate crash into a million pieces as she whispered, "Boss, it's all good. I'm-"
"CAITLIN-CHAN TAISHO-KUN, TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW!!! IT'S NOT THAT HARD! TELL ME EVERYONE YOU'RE WITH AND EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE, AND I'LL BE FINE AND DANDY!" In the background behind Boss's angered voice, Caitlin could hear Hamtaro shouting something to Boss about self-control.
"Well, it doesn't sound like it!" Caitlin retorted with a sharp voice.
"JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE WITH AND WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING, BITCH! IT'S NOT THAT DAMN HARD!" Behind her husband's voice, Caitlin could hear Hamtaro shouting more at Boss about self-control. She heard him suddenly cut off by a loud thud, and then she heard him crashing into the wall.
"Boss, don't hurt him!!!" Caitlin screamed into the phone.
"MUST I REPEAT MYSELF?!?!?! I WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, WHO YOU ARE WITH, AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING ALL THE WAY IN HAMSTER CITY!!!"
"Boss, please! I'm alright! Nothing's wrong!"
"TELL ME NOW, CAITLIN-CHAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? WHY ARE YOU THERE? WHO'S THERE WITH YOU?"
"...Alright!" Tears were streaming down Caitlin's face. "Just stop screaming at me!!!"
Caitlin heard Boss roar, "TELL ME NOW!!!"
"I told you to stop screaming at me, and I will!"
"TELL ME NOW!!!"
"Stop screaming at me!!!" Caitlin sank down to the ground as she barely held the phone to her ear, even though she really didn't have to.
"TELL ME!!!!!"
Caitlin screamed and dropped the cord phone onto the ground. She buried her face in her paws as she sobbed, "Stop screaming at me..."
A few minutes passed by until she heard Boss stop screaming into the phone. Caitlin looked down at it a few minutes before she picked it up and whispered, "Hello? Anyone there?"
Caitlin heard footsteps on the phone until she heard someone pick it up. She heard someone sigh, and then she heard Hamtaro's voice whisper in an agonized voice, "CC, you alright?"
"No...I mean...no." Caitlin wiped her face off with the back of her paw. "Is Boss alright?"
"He's in his chair whimpering and whining like a little child."
"Why?"
"He screamed at you and made you cry. Now he won't even look up because he feels so ashamed." Hamtaro sighed. "What was he yelling about that he wanted you to tell him?"
"Hamtaro, get Boss on the phone. Now."
Hamtaro sighed. "Alright," he mumbled as he set down the phone on the table.
After a few more minutes, Caitlin heard Boss pick up the phone and whisper, "CC..."
Caitlin held her breath. "I'm here."
"Just tell me who you are with, where you are at, and what you are doing. I'm not going to let this get by. Don't think I'll forget."
Caitlin took a deep breath and whispered, "Boss, you remember how you always tell me at night in bed how you'll love me forever and ever?"
"Yes."
"Please keep loving me after I tell you this, and don't call for an annulment."
"I would never call for divorce! Why would I?"
"Because I'm a double agent." Caitlin's voice rang with frankness.
"...A double agent for-"
"Yes. I'm a double agent. I'm going to tell the truth I had to keep from telling ever since I first met you. A few days before I met you, I was forced to be in the Bad Hams. Then they told me to join the Ham-Hams and pretend to be on your side. So I did. And I would quit being in the Bad Hams, but it's a lifetime contract. I can't retract it. Natsu and Megan is in this with me because they wanted to stay by my side. Oh, yes, you know how I always seem to 'predict' the Bad Hams' next move? That's because they tell me everything. That first day? I knew. Those three weeks? I knew. Unstoppable? I knew. Everything else? I knew."
There was a moment of silence between Caitlin and Boss. Boss finally whispered, "You mean that you've been with the Bad Hams these past three days? You mean that ever since we first met, you had the intention of betraying me? You mean that you knew everything they were doing, but you STILL didn't tell me?"
"Boss, please try to understand...please don't hate me...please don't tell everyone else..." Caitlin's voice seemed to shatter like glass.
"How could I not tell anyone else?! You, a double agent, and I, the Ham-Ham leader, cannot go on without telling! You've betrayed me and thought of betraying me ever since you first met me and everyone else! Not one of the Ham-Hams will ever want to be around you again, and what am I to do?! What am I to do when I hate you and love you and I am married to you and you are a Bad Ham at the same time?! Tell me! What do I do now?!"
Caitlin swallowed and whispered, "I didn't mean for it to happen this way. I thought of betraying you when the Bad Hams told me to, and then I met you, and you were the one thing that I had so much admiration for. When they told me to join the Ham-Hams, I gladly did. When they told me everything they planned to do, it took A LOT to stay loyal to you and them. And then I married you. I thought I could slowly slip away from them, but I can't. See? I can't. I tried my best, and I can't get out. If I had the chance to get out of this group, I would. I would leave this place in a heartbeat. I love you more than anyone on this world, and I would die for you, Boss. Please...please believe me. This isn't a lie. I promise you. It's not a lie."
There was more silence between the couple. Tears of distress were rolling down Caitlin's face, and Boss seemed to be only breathing in nothing but what she just told him.
After a few more minutes of silence, Caitlin whispered, "You do believe me, right?"
Nothing came through the phone receiver except the mournful sound of Boss's moaning. He couldn't respond to such a question.
"How am I to know you still love me or not?" she whispered. "I don't know what to do." Boss's voice sounded woebegone and pained. "I don't even know what to say. I mean you betrayed me, and you're all I've got. You are my world, my wealth, and my love. But it seems it's all been torn apart now...and I don't know what to do without it. I'm going to find you, and I'm going to settle this. Believe me, this will get settled. You will be out of the Bad Hams, and I will always love you except for right now, but this hate is going to last a while, Caitlin-Chan Taisho-Kun." With that, the phone receiver clicked, and a beeping noise was the only thing heard other than the forlorn scream that came from Caitlin.
"Wow, you are a brave little girl, aren't you?" a voice said from behind her.
Caitlin spun around with tears pouring down her face to see Mike watching her. "I've been listening for a while. You are pretty brave, considering everything that's happened today and what you just told him."
"Mike...what am I going to do? I mean, Boss... He...knows...EVERYTHING...," Caitlin whispered.
Mike shrugged. "I'm not letting you go. He won't let you go. So he'll just have to be happy with you being MY double agent."
"Very helpful of you, Mike...," Caitlin mumbled as she wiped her face off with the back of her paw.
"Why thank you," Mike replied. He sat down next to her on the ground and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry about it... I'll talk to him later. Don't sweat about it."
Caitlin smiled slightly and whispered, "Thanks, Mike... You sure you can talk to him about it?"
"Duh, I can get anyone to listen to moi," Mike responded confidently. "We can't let our best double agent down now."
"Thanks, Mike..."
"AND since you got that invite, I'm going to do this once, so pay attention."
"Thanks, Mike..."
"...I said pay attention, not thank me. Thank me later."
"Oh." Caitlin looked up into Mike's brown eyes.
Mike smiled as he pressed his lips against hers. Caitlin somewhat jumped and floated at the same time. The two stayed in that position for a minute before Mike broke away. "Haha...," he whispered as he laughed shyly.
Caitlin blushed as red as a turnip. "Yeah, um... Mike, you're not a bad guy. You're really great. I really like you actually."
Mike blushed as he whispered, "CC, you're not the blondest girl out there... You can be REALLY stupid and REALLY great at the same time. I really, really like you actually. You're a great gal, and don't forget it. If your 'hubby' decides to dump you now, you'd make a great second wife."
"...OH MY GOD!" Caitlin shouted. "You mean... You're going to...?"
"Yes. But don't say anything to anyone else." Mike winked. Caitlin blushed and mumbled, "Yeah..."
Later that night...
Natsu looked around the game room. "Where's CC? She should be here by now...," she mumbled.
"Mike's not here either," Megan remarked. "I still can't believe you told him today when I was going to... You told him CC thought he was cute! I can't believe he said what he said..."
"He said, 'I like her, too. She's really cool.'! Mike doesn't act like he likes her a lot, but he said he liked her..."
"...I wonder if CC told him..."
"...I wonder if Mike said what he told us..."
"...I wonder why CC stayed behind..."
"...I wonder why Mike stayed behind, too..."
"...I wonder if CC's with him right now..."
"...I wonder if Mike's with her right now..."
"...That's practically the same thing I said, Natsu."
"...Oh." Natsu shrugged. "Well, I wonder, too."
"Yeah...," Megan mumbled.