I'm on a roll!! Woot!! Oh and this chapter has some Yaoi in it...but no graphics! and the OOC maybe in here.
Nanashi: -.-
...what?!
Nanashi: I'm still mad at you....
............don't spoil it!!
Chapter 6:
Trowa's eyes opened slowly. He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep. Sunlight peeked shyly through the closed the blinds. It was morning now. Trowa sighed quietly and tried to stretched his legs. Something snaked its away about his waist, holding him still. Trowa looked down at his lap and smiled.
Nanashi slept peacefully, his chest rising and falling in a slow subtle sort of way. His tears had dried long before and it was as though yesterday had never happened. Trowa played with his hair a bit. Nanashi hugged his waist, sighed softly in his sleep. My sweet Nanashi. Trowa's eyes were soft as he thought about it, about yesterday. Nanashi had began bawling in the yard in the late afternoon, as the sun was starting to set. He opened his heart to him. Jack had disappeared on him years ago, apparently on the same day that those people took him. I guess he never really accepted that before...perhaps he'll feel better now that he's cried it out. He gently kissed Nanashi's forehead.
"Nanashi, it will be okay." Trowa whispered softly. Nanashi made a soft noise. Trowa smiled. "I will make sure that everything is okay. You don't have to worry anymore." Nanashi mumbled something in his sleep. Trowa laughed quietly. "You're so very sweet..." Trowa sighed. His stomach growled slightly. "If I'm careful, you'll still be able to sleep."
Slowly, Trowa put his hands on Nanashi's and pried the entwined fingers apart. With tender precision, he pulled Nanashi's arms from about his waist, feeling slightly mad at himself for pulling away from his thin love. Placing Nanashi's head on a pillow, he slid of the bed. He waited for a moment, checking to see he was still sleeping. Trowa was satisfied and left the bedroom, leaving the door partial opened. Hands hooked in his pockets, he went into the kitchen to fix breakfast. Unsure of what he wanted, he settled on a glass of juice, thinking about what he could make for Nanashi and himself. What would be good to make?
A knock on the door interrupted his musing. Trowa looked back to the bedroom door; it didn't open any further. With a relieved sigh, Trowa walked to the front door. He wondered who in the world would be calling them this early in the morning. Perhaps it was Quatre coming to check up on him. But he said he'd come in a week. Who else could it be? Trowa became slightly more cautious, setting his glass down as he reached for the door. He absently longed for his gun, just in the off chance that it could be one of the men who had controlled Nanashi. He turned the knob slowly, hoping he was prepared. Trowa would never be prepared for who was waiting for him.
"I should kill you." Heero snapped as he stood on the front porch. Trowa's eyes went round with shock. How the hell did Heero find him? And so soon. Trowa gripped the door knob to steady himself. Heero grimaced at him, a harsh wind whipping at the jacket he was wearing. "How could you?"
"...How could I what?" Trowa asked softly. Heero looked close to striking him. Trowa prepared himself for the oncoming assault. He stepped out onto the porch, closed the door behind him and stared at Heero, waiting.
"How could you harbor that bastard!?" Heero hissed. Trowa felt rage clamp around his heart at Heero's words. His eyes narrowed at Heero's rage but he said nothing. "Well?!"
"Why do you care?" Trowa asked in a cold voice.
"He almost killed Quatre. He tried to kill Wufei. He tried to kill Duo, damn it!"
"The operative word is 'try.' He didn't succeed." Trowa argued, suppressing his own yelling. He didn't want to wake Nanashi. Trowa leaned back against the door. "...How did you find out anyway?"
"I'm not stupid, Barton! Don't ever think I am!" Heero yelled.
"I never did." Trowa replied. Heero flung something at his chest. The black disk clinked against the wood underneath them. Trowa bent down to pick it up. Something collided with his face. He fell back against the door, surprised, fingering the blood gushing from his nose.
"You forgot your disk." Heero hissed again. Trowa shoved it in his pocket and stood, glaring at Heero. "How could you go behind my back?!"
"What?!" Trowa finally let the rage enter his voice.
"You snuck behind my back!! Damn it, you knew his face, you knew his name!! We could've ended this long before!!" Trowa said nothing, it took all his energy and strength to say nothing. "Damn it, how can you harbor him after he tried to kill us!? How can you protect him?!"
"How can I not?" Trowa asked quietly. Heero looked close to hitting him again. Trowa's eyes glared into Heero's, green battled blue, shot daggers into the "perfect" soldier's soul. "How can I not defend him?"
"He tried to kill us!!!" Heero yelled again.
"I don't care." Trowa said. Heero punched him, hard. There seemed to be something mixing with the rage in his eyes. Worry? Was that it?
"How can you not!! He's dangerous! A murderer!!" Heero snapped. Trowa stared at him.
"He is no worse than we are." Trowa snapped. The anger in Heero's eyes softened slightly then returned. "We're all killers, everyone of us. There is no difference between us and him."
"There's a big difference."
"Really!?" It was Trowa's turn to yell. "Explain it then! Explain how us killing in Gundams is any different than him killing face to face!" Heero said nothing. Trowa glowered. "You can't can you? That's because there isn't a difference."
"Doesn't excuse him from trying to kill us." Heero argued. "He's with the enemy."
"Not by choice."
"How do you know!? He could be lying to you! Hell, you could be next on his list!" Heero yelled.
"I've already considered that possibility." A lie. Trowa saw no reason to think that Nanashi would try to hurt him. "And I don't buy it. I trust him fully. I know him better than you."
"Bullshit." Heero snapped. Trowa's rage boiled over.
"Did you even look at this disk!? Do you know what they did to him!?" Heero said nothing. "They manipulated him!! They tortured him!! He was nothing but a fucking tool for them to exploit!! And you want to penalize him for something he couldn't control!! You want to hurt him, again, for not being in control of his own will!!!" Trowa snapped.
"And this time I'll finish him off." Heero growled.
Trowa hadn't even been aware of what he was doing. All he knew was that in a blind rage his fist collided with the side of Heero's head. Heero's head snapped back, he staggered slightly but Trowa no longer cared. Gripping his former friend's throat, he shoved Heero against the railing of the porch. Heero grunted painfully, but glared daggers at Trowa. The barrel of his gun was pressed under Trowa's chin. But Trowa no longer cared about that either. They stood, threatening each other's life, waiting for someone to flinch.
"...If you ever touch him again, Yuy," Trowa threatened in a voice that was very unlike his own. "I'll kill you."
"If you come between me and my mission," Heero retorted. "I'll kill you." Trowa growled at how selfish Heero sounded. And Heero growled at how foolish Trowa must have sounded. But slowly, they released one another. Heero stepped back off the porch. Trowa went back to the door. "Barton."
"What?"
"...Don't bother coming back, if you plan on defending him still." Heero snapped. Heero's back was to him. His muscles were tight and for a moment Trowa thought he saw a fissure go through the perfect soldier's spine. Trowa sighed unhappily. This wasn't how he planned on leaving them, if he had planned on leaving them.
"I didn't plan to." He paused. "Yuy?"
"Yeah?" Heero looked at him. His blue eyes were just as angry and dark as ever. But they looked, slightly hopefully for a moment.
"Don't let me catch you here...if you plan on hurting my Nanashi." Trowa sighed. He didn't hide his affection to Nanashi. Heero looked at him, his eyes slightly surprised at his admittance. But then they reverted back to that cold glare. He turned away and strode down the path.
"Whatever." Heero replied. Trowa detected a small hint of pain in Heero's good bye. Gripping his fist slightly, he pushed the door open again and went back inside, happy that the house was warm.
When he looked up from the floor, he saw Nanashi. He stood, a wool blanket draped about his delicate shoulders, watching him. There was a sadness on Nanashi's face, a pain Trowa didn't like. He wondered how much of that conversation Nanashi had heard. A little blood plopped onto the carpet. Trowa had forgotten his nose was bleeding. Nanashi went to him, putting his hand gently on Trowa's wounds. He covered it with the edge of the blanket, holding back the tears he wanted to shed.
"...He hates me." Nanashi said quietly. Trowa sighed at Nanashi's words and wrapped his arms about him. Nanashi kept his fingers in Trowa's blood.
"He doesn't have any reason to." Trowa said. Nanashi sighed.
"You're giving up so much...just to be with me...to protect me..." Nanashi said quietly. Trowa kissed his lips, careful not to get blood on Nanashi's skin.
"I'm perfectly happy to. I will give anything and everything up for you. I'll die for you." He smiled as he spoke and kissed Nanashi a little more passionately. He could feel a smile creep across Nanashi's face as they kissed. "I love you, Nanashi."
"...I love you...Trowa Barton..." Nanashi said it quietly, almost hesitantly like he was afraid to jinx it. Trowa grinned at the honesty of Nanashi's statement. He pulled Nanashi closer, Nanashi wrapped his arms about Trowa's neck. He made a small noise as Trowa bathed his neck with kisses. Trowa picked him up slightly; it still wasn't hard to do. He sat Nanashi down on the couch and started to busy himself making breakfast. Nanashi watched, leaning on the arm of the couch with a grin.
"Nanashi?" Trowa called. He looked back at him for a moment.
"Yes?" Nanashi said, resting his head on the arm rest. Trowa hesitated slightly.
"Could you tell me more about your brother?" Trowa asked. "I know it's a sensitive subject, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I just want to know a little more about him."
"I guess so..." Nanashi said after a moment of silence. He sat up straight and rested his hands in his lap. "His name was Jack. He was...I guess nine years older than me. We lived together on the Colony for a while, just the two of us."
"I think you mentioned that. Your mom died..."
"Uh huh. When I was one or two I think Jack told me."
"And your father?" Trowa asked. Nanashi sighed a little.
"I don't know him at all. He was gone shortly after mum died. So I don't have any recollection of him." He sounded sad as he spoke. "But I didn't mind. I had Jack."
"What was he like?" Trowa asked. He sat on the counter while the meal cooked, interested.
"He was tall, with bright blue eyes and auburn hair. I think he took mostly after my mum. He was very friendly and kind, especially to me. And he had this infectious smile and this gentle aura about him." As Nanashi spoke, Trowa recalled something in the back of his memory. The look of the John Doe in the hospital. "He would sing to me, he had such a nice voice. And he always sang 'Green Sleeves' to me when I asked. We both loved that song very much." "He loves it so." the nurse's words played in his head. Trowa's eyes closed, thinking suddenly, the gears in his mind spinning at a dizzying rate as he pieced tiny bits and pieces together. Nanashi was still talking but Trowa was only hear small portions of it. It was like putting together a puzzle. His eyes opened finally.
"Nanashi." Trowa interrupted. Nanashi looked at him; there was a small smile on his face, a nostalgic smile. Trowa wondered what the last thing Nanashi said was. "How long ago..." The smile faded only slightly.
"Eight years..." Nanashi sighed. More words surfaced. "He's been in a coma for eight years."
"Eight years." Trowa repeated. "And you never knew what happened to him?"
"No." Nanashi answered. He set his chin in his hands and sighed some more. "No. He was just dropped off here." "We don't know his name or his age. Or where he comes from or what happened to him. So we all just call him John Doe." "Yes...he's never woken up." The John Doe. Trowa hopped off the counter, turned off the stove but left the food there. He sat beside Nanashi. "Trowa?"
"...I think I have something to show you." Trowa said softly.
"Something to show me?" Nanashi's eyes were a little rounder than usual. "What is it?"
"I'm not exactly sure." Trowa admitted. He kissed his cheek. "Get your shoes."
Nanashi obeyed, looking back at him slightly curious. Trowa pulled on his own shoes and grabbed his sweater. He studied it for a moment before handing it to Nanashi. It was big on him, somewhat comical to see. Trowa smiled at him and donned a jacket that had been in the duffle bag Quatre had brought. He ushered Nanashi outside, locking the door behind them. Nanashi waited on the porch, wrapping his arms around himself in the cool air. The leaves were changing, gliding on the autumn breeze. He followed Trowa down the steps, got behind him on his bike. Trowa didn't have to tell him, Nanashi's arms simply locked around his waist. Smiling, Trowa revved the engine and sped off.
It was a fairly long ride. Thirty minutes to the town and another fifteen to the hospital. Nanashi rested his head on Trowa's back, hiding his face from the biting wind. Trowa did his best not to speed, but he was anxious now. He wanted to know if what he was thinking was true. Was it possible? Stranger things had happened. And it just seemed to be too big of a coincidence. Pulling into the parking lot, he killed the ignition and looked back at Nanashi. He slid of the bike, looking at Trowa with a confused look. Draping an arm around Nanashi's shoulder, he guided Nanashi into the hospital, ignoring the look of the nurse at the table as they took the stairs to the third floor.
"Trowa, come on. Tell me why we're here." Nanashi said, leaning slightly against his shoulder. "Please?"
"I'll show you." Trowa said with a faint smile. He looked at the numbers on the doors. 311. That was the room they were looking for, the room of the John Doe. It was completely possible. That the John Doe and Jack could be the same. It was all too coincidental. But I hope it is him. I'm not sure how Nanashi may react if I tell him its his brother and its really not. I want Nanashi to be happy. His hand fell on the door handle to the John Doe's room. Trowa hoped silently to be right, gave Nanashi a reassuring smile. He opened the door and let Nanashi go in first.
There were only slight differences from the last time Trowa had come to this room. One difference was the flowers on the table. They were wilted, drying petals falling and slipping on the table as the flowers slowly died. Darkened cloud loomed over head. Trowa looked to the John Doe. He seemed far paler than the last time. His breathe was raspy and short. Trowa wondered if perhaps his body was finally giving up on him. He noticed it then, Nanashi's hand clamped about his own.
He had backed into him without Trowa even realizing it. Using Trowa's hand and strength to steady his own weak knees. Nanashi's eyes were round, he covered his lips with his hand. Trowa put an arm around him to support him. Nanashi's entire body was shaking. He made small noises, like whimpers, as he looked at the John Doe lying in bed. Shit. This was a bad idea. God look at him, he's shaking like a leaf. I shouldn't have brought him. Man, what have I done. Trowa looked down at Nanashi. A few tears slipped from Nanashi's eyes.
"Nanashi...I..." Trowa didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.
"Jack...you're alive." Nanashi whispered. There was a vague happiness in his voice that Trowa had only heard before when he told him that he loved him. The sound of true happiness. He pulled away from Trowa, walked softly to the bed and looked down at him. "Jack." Sinking onto his knees, he laid his head on the bed, watching his brother sleep. Nanashi's hand gently cupped Jack's. Trowa thought he saw more tears. Nanashi sobbed softly, buried his face in the sheet. "Jack...where were you..." Nanashi asked. Trowa looked down at the gleaming floor, wondering still whether or not this had been a wise idea.
"...L...Little one..." The voice was weak, tired and raspy. Trowa looked up from the floor. A hand was shakily running its fingers over Nanashi's hair. Nanashi's head had snapped up; large tears seeping from his eyes. "I'm...so...ver...very sorry..."
"Jack?" Nanashi gasped. Jack had a very weak smile on his face. Jack...
"Ho...how have you...been...Little one?" Jack asked. Little one. That must be his pet name for him. Its cute. Nanashi sobbed a little more. "What...is it...Little one?"
"Where did you go?" Nanashi wept. Jack's tired eyes watched him. Trowa leaned back against the wall, watching and waiting. "Why..." Nanashi's voice broke. Jack's weak fingers wiped a couple tears away.
"I'm so...sorry Nanashi...I didn't mean to..." Jack sighed. Trowa could see the small shiver of pain course through him. "I know that...doesn't excuse it..."
"What happened..." Nanashi asked.
"...I'm sorry Nanashi..." Jack whimpered. "...I don't...remember..." Nanashi rested his head on the bed again. "Please...say something..."
"...I missed you..." Nanashi sighed. Jack's fingers skated over his hair. Nanashi sighed.
"I missed...you, Little one..." Jack said. His voice seemed to be getting slightly weaker. His eyes, those blue gleaming eyes, locked onto Trowa's. He watched him for a moment, read him. Trowa felt the muscles in his back tighten as he fell victim to that searching stare. "...And who is this...Little one?" Nanashi looked back at Trowa; he's smile suddenly became so bright. He leaned in, whispered softly in Jack's ear. The smile was followed with a faint flush. Jack chuckled a bit. "I see..."
"Mhm." Nanashi nodded happily. His cheeks were so much drier. Jack ruffled his hair slightly.
"You haven't changed...a bit Little one..." Jack sighed. "You're still...so very cute." Heh, yeah he is. Jack's eyes fell on Trowa again. "I don't...suppose I have to tell you...to take good care of my...Little one..."
"No, you don't." Trowa answered. He smiled vaguely. "I was planning on it anyway."
"Heh...I like him..." Jack laughed, coughing slightly. "But its...more important...that you do..."
"And I do." Nanashi said. He looked back at Trowa, excitement and happiness in his face and voice. "I really do." Trowa felt a small flush rise in his face and he grinned pleasantly. He looked back at Jack. "How long have you been here?"
"Eight years." Trowa answered. Jack and Nanashi looked at him. "The uh nurse told me so."
"...So you've been here since then..." Nanashi sighed. Jack watched him, somewhat sad. Nanashi smiled faintly at him. "But that's not your fault."
"You are...far too forgiving...Nanashi..." Jack joked weakly. He put a hand on the side of his face. "Such a sweet...little angel, my...Little one..." Suddenly, Nanashi's eyes flickered with guilt. He stared down at his hands, clenched them. A sigh escaped Trowa's lips as he watched. Jack was confused. "Little one...Nanashi....what's wrong?"
"....I'm not an angel. I don't deserve to be forgiving. Or to be forgiven..." Nanashi whispered. Jack stared at him. He gaze went from him to Trowa, questioning. Trowa's eyes fell to the floor again, listening sadly to Nanashi's disheartened words. "Not after all I did..."
"Nanashi...what do you mean..." Jack asked. Nanashi looked up at him. A single tear fell from his eyes. And he began his confession.
Nanashi spoke for hours, recalling everything with excruciating detail. Many times, Trowa resisted the urge to scream a curse or vomit. At one point, he had to excuse himself to run to the restroom when he could no longer hold the bile down. Trowa returned, only to find Nanashi still reminiscing. He sat outside sometimes, holding his head. It was a little easier. He could only hear the words, not see the look of pain and torment on Nanashi's face as he spoke. Trowa was very thankful at one point that he was sitting outside. Nanashi mentioned something about molestation and rape, his molestation and rape. Trowa didn't want to see the look on Nanashi's face when he said that; he knew how heartbroken and pained it would be. Trowa growled softly, furious at those people even more. Nanashi suddenly fell silent. Trowa pushed aside his anger; he could hear Nanashi's soft cries. Rising slowly, Trowa stepped back into the room.
Jack had said nothing the entire time. He merely lay, listening intently to his little brother's confession. Trowa tried to read his expression. It was a strange mixture, an anomalous concoction of rage, fear, misery, and guilt. Nanashi's face was buried in the sheets again, weeping. Jack and Trowa watched, silent. Trowa wished he could think of something to say to ease Nanashi's pain but he couldn't. He simply went to him, hugged him from behind. Trowa felt him shudder and gripped him tighter, trying to comfort him. His efforts felt futile.
"Nanashi..." Jack whispered, breaking the silence. Nanashi sobbed loudly. With a shaking hand, Jack lifted his little brother's face. Wiping away a tear, he hushed him. "Do not cry...Nanashi..." Nanashi looked at him sadly. "Please..."
"...But...But I hurt...so many..." Nanashi whimpered. Trowa rested his chin on Nanashi's shoulder. "I'm covered...with so much blood..." Jack smiled vaguely.
"I...don't blame you...entirely, Little one..." Jack said softly. Nanashi's cries quieted. "...Manipulation...is what they...do best..."
"...I can't forgive myself...I just can't..." Nanashi whispered. His hands clutched Trowa's. Nanashi was speaking to them both. "I'll never forgive myself."
"...I didn't expect...you to, Nanashi...It's not...in your character...to forgive yourself... that easily..." Jack sighed. He sounded slightly disappointed. He cupped Nanashi's face. "Just understand...that I don't blame you..." Jack's eyes fell on Trowa's again. Trowa's embrace tightened slightly, trying to tell Nanashi that he didn't care either.
"I don't understand how people can forgive me." Nanashi sighed.
"...Some people...are just understanding...like that..." Jack replied. Nanashi looked from him to Trowa. Trowa smiled faintly at him. Jack's words reminded him of his own and Nanashi had noticed. Nanashi left a tender kiss on Trowa's lips. Jack smiled faintly. Trowa watched him. He saw something flicker behind Jack's eyes. Something cold and unavoidable. They conversed in silence for a moment, Trowa and Jack. ...You're dying, aren't you?, Trowa's eyes asked. Jack's closed for a moment and he sighed. ...I thought so...
"Jack?" Nanashi asked, trying to make his voice sound happy. "Are you alright?"
"I'm...very tired...Little one..." Jack sighed painfully. Nanashi smiled at him.
"Then sleep, I can come back to visit you later." Nanashi said. He was not aware of it. Jack's eyes opened; a flicker of sadness was visible to Trowa. He shook his head slightly.
"There...will be time...for sleep later..." Jack smiled weakly again. Trowa felt a small tinge a guilt. Nanashi was oblivious to the inevitable. Trowa prepared himself to comfort when it finally happened. "What...is with the smile...Little one?"
"Nothing." Nanashi said. Jack smirked slightly.
"Come now...Nanashi..."
"...Sing it? Please?" Nanashi begged. Jack laughed softly. There was more of a rasp to it now. Soon, Trowa sighed in his head. "Please? I've wanted to hear you sing it forever."
"I...don't think...I can Little one..." Jack admitted. He grinned slightly. "I...have a better idea..." Nanashi listened expectantly. "You sing...this time..."
"I can't." Nanashi insisted, shaking his head. "I'm not as good as you." Trowa snickered slightly. He was being too now...just once...I always sang for you...your turn, Little one..." Jack laughed. Nanashi's eyes smiled at his brother, caving to his older brother's request. He leaned back slightly in Trowa's arms, knowing that Trowa had wanted to hear him sing as well.
"Ok. But you better not laugh." Nanashi said.
"Wouldn't...dream of it..." Jack sighed. Nanashi breathed deeply for a moment, fighting the embarrassed blush in his face. He sang finally, starting out softly but gaining confidence with each bar.
"Alas my love you do me wrong
To cast me out discourteously;
When I have loved you so so long
Delighting in your company.
Your gown was of the grassy green
Your sleeves of satin were hanging by
Which made you be a harvest queen
Yet you would not love me"
Nanashi didn't notice, as he sang in a tender voice, a gentle tenor that sounded like heaven to Trowa's ears. He didn't notice Jack's hand on his head. Or the quiet look in his eyes. Nanashi was enthralled by the melody rolling off his tongue. Trowa watched, sadness engulfing his face as Jack's eyes closed. He mumbled something, a soft good bye that Nanashi couldn't hear, before his breathing slowed then stopped.
"Green sleeves was my all my joy
Green sleeves was my delight,
Green sleeves was my heart of gold
And who but my lady green sleeves.
Alas my love you do me wrong
To cast me out discourteously;
When I have loved you so so long
Delighting in your company."
Nanashi stopped, letting the final note echo in his own ears. Trowa's arms remained locked about his waist. He waited for Nanashi's eyes to open, for him to realize what had transpired in those few moments of song. He dreaded that moment. That moment when Nanashi would know that his brother was dead. Nanashi's eyes opened. He kissed Trowa tenderly. Trowa didn't return it right away.
"So what did you think?" Nanashi asked him. Trowa smiled faintly and rested his head on his shoulder again. Nanashi turned back to Jack. "What about you...Jack?" His voice faded. Trowa's eyes closed. He could feel one of Nanashi's hands leave his own, he heard the sound of a sheet shifting at his touch. "J...Jack?" Nanashi called again. Oh Nanashi... He could hear a soft sob come from Nanashi. Trowa opened his eyes. Nanashi's hand was on his brother's peaceful face. "Oh God Jack!"
"I'm sorry Nanashi..." Trowa sighed. It sounded stupid to apologize for this. Nanashi let Trowa pull him back into his arms. Nanashi wept. "...He seemed happy, Nanashi..." Nanashi looked at him, his large eyes glistening. Trowa kissed his forehead. "He seemed happy...to see you and to hear you again...before he died..." Nanashi nodded slowly. He wrapped his arms around Trowa's neck and sat in his lap. "Nanashi?"
"Yes..." He sounded very frightened.
"...He said he loved the sound of your voice..." Trowa sighed, recalling the faint words Jack had uttered. Nanashi looked up at him. Trowa kissed him again. "And he said he'd miss you..." Nanashi said nothing at this. For a moment, Trowa thought he had hurt him, by brining him here and then by telling him the words he had not heard himself. Trowa sighed painfully, regretting what he had just said.
"Thank you..." Nanashi said, head resting on Trowa's chest. Trowa looked down at him.
"For what?" Trowa asked. Nanashi smiled up at him, a couple tears still in his eyes.
"For bringing me here...to see him again..." Nanashi kissed him, drawing him into a very passionate and grateful kiss. He whispered in his ear when he broke it. "I can never fully repay you...for all the happiness you keep bringing me." Trowa's smile brightened. He nuzzled against Nanashi, receiving a soft sound from him.
"There is no reason for you to..." Trowa told him. Nanashi smiled and stood. Trowa stood as well. Nanashi sat on the bed beside his brother for a moment. He kissed Jack's cooling forehead softly and embraced him, resting his head on the man's shoulder.
"I love you too, Jack...I'll miss you too...Good bye..." Nanashi sighed. Another tear dripped but he wiped it away. Nanashi got up and went to the wilting flowers. He studied them; Trowa looked down at Jack. Jack...thank you, for listening. He closed his eyes. I will take good care of Nanashi, of your Little one. I won't let them hurt him ever again. I love him too much to let them near him again. His eyes opened slowly.
"...Good bye Jack..." Trowa whispered. He crossed over to Nanashi, who busied himself cleaning up the flowers. He looked up at Trowa.
"...Can we go home...please?" He asked somewhat sadly.
"Only if you want to." Trowa said. Nanashi nodded, putting the wilted flowers in the wastebasket with care. With one finally look to Jack, Trowa scooped Nanashi into his arms. He carried him out of the room; Nanashi looked over his shoulder once to bid Jack another farewell, then rested his head against Trowa's chest. They passed the nurse, the same one who had taken care of the former John Doe, as she made her way to the room. Trowa could hear her gasps and stopped. Nanashi jumped out of his arms and went back to her. Trowa watched the silent conversation. Eventually, the woman put her arms around Nanashi's shoulders, hugged him. Trowa saw the visible shiver in Nanashi's spine but he relaxed and finally hugged her back. He heard the word "funeral" but Nanashi shook his head.
"All I want...is to know where he's buried..." Nanashi said as he made his way back to Trowa. "Jack said before...he never wanted to see me go to a funeral...so I won't. I don't want to...disappoint him." The nurse called after him.
"He was a very sweet man." She told him. Nanashi looked back at her.
"Yes...he was..." Nanashi ran to Trowa's arms. Trowa hugged him. He looked at the nurse, who smiled faintly at him. Trowa smiled faintly back and picked Nanashi up again. After a short nod to her, he turned and headed out of the hospital, listening to Nanashi cry quietly to himself.
It was a long ride home, much longer than Trowa had expected. He had completely forgotten about their meals. And now it was close to dark. I'll make him something good when we get home. He could feel Nanashi's arms tighten around him every so often. Trowa sped a little, to get him out of the cold and the darkness. He heard Nanashi sigh, which pleased him since he had been hearing Nanashi cry for awhile. He pulled into the driveway, killed the engine and looked at him. Nanashi smiled at him. Trowa walked with his arm about Nanashi into the house where Nanashi went into his room and Trowa went to fix him dinner.
"Nanashi?" He called through the door about an hour later. He balanced a tray and waited patiently for Nanashi's response. "Are you awake?"
"Uh huh. You can come in." Nanashi answered. Trowa opened the door and smiled at him. Nanashi sat crossed legged on the bed. He was rubbing his bare wrists; he had finally removed the bandages. Trowa set the tray on the bed.
"Feeling better?" Trowa asked, looking at the tear stains on his love's cheeks. Nanashi nodded.
"A little..." He wiped his eyes. "Its gonna be hard...I know it is."
"I guess it would be." Trowa sighed and sat beside him. He held his shoulders, massaged them for a moment. "But I'll be here whenever you need me." Nanashi nuzzled his neck. Trowa felt a blush rise in his cheeks.
"Thank you." Nanashi sighed. Trowa handed him a plate and took one for himself. They ate on his bed. About halfway through the meal, Nanashi looked up at him questioningly. "Trowa?"
"Yes?"
"What do you mean 'you guess it would be?'" Nanashi asked. Trowa set the plate down for a moment.
"...I really don't know what it would be like to lose a piece of my family. I don't remember much of my family. I have Catherine, my sister. But I don't get to see her often. I really don't know what you must be going through." Though I have a vague idea, Trowa thought as he remember the pain in his heart when he thought Nanashi was dead. Nanashi watched him sadly. He put his plate down as well and crawled over to him, draping his arms around him and kissing him. Trowa smiled a bit. "You don't have to feel sad for me."
"I do anyway. I'd hate not remembering anything about my family..." Nanashi said. Trowa shrugged at his words.
"I don't know. I have you to fill that void now." Trowa said, grinning at him. Nanashi smiled brightly. He sat on his lap, legs around his waist. Suddenly, Trowa's skin felt very warm. He normally felt warm around Nanashi but this was different. It was almost overpowering.
Nanashi felt it too. The kiss they shared felt like a fire, an inferno that burned its way down through their bodies and souls. Trowa pressed his hands against Nanashi's back, pressing him up against his chest. He earned a small moan from Nanashi; the noise excited him. Trowa's face blushed more as he pushed his tongue past Nanashi's parted lips and tasted the sweetness of him. He tasted so very wonderful.
Something fell from the bed but Trowa and Nanashi paid it no mind. They continued to kiss. Nanashi's fingers tangled themselves in Trowa's hair and one of his hands ran up his back. Trowa shuddered pleasurably and ran his own hand along Nanashi chest, sliding his hand along the thin male. Nanashi made more noises.
"Trowa..." Nanashi whispered panting slightly. Trowa nibbled his ear tenderly, listening to him.
"Yes Nanashi..." He asked. Nanashi looked at him lovingly before pushing himself down, pulling Trowa on top of him. The move surprised Trowa slightly.
"Be mine..." Nanashi begged. Trowa smiled at him and started pulling Nanashi's shirt off over his head.
"Of course, Nanashi. I always will." Trowa whispered lovingly, flicking off the light on the bedside table and bathing them in darkness.
Nanashi woke. It was still night. The full moon smiled down at him from the open window. He looked about, wondering what had woken him. He noticed then, the arms still holding him close. Nanashi smiled at his sleeping lover, mused at how the moonlight played wonderfully with his gentle features. He sighed happily, feeling so wanted and loved. Nothing else mattered, not even what they had done to him. Trowa was in love with him and Nanashi was in love with Trowa. That is all that matters. I love him Jack, I love him so much.
Nanashi's eyes went sad as he remembered his now dead brother. But he had seen Jack again, one last time. Trowa had given him that gift, that last reunion. Even with Jack now with his mother and though he knew was not going to see him for a long time, Nanashi still felt happy. Yes, he would miss him terribly, that was a certainty. But it wouldn't be so bad now. Trowa was beside him to help him through it. I'm glad you like him Jack. I thought you would. He reminds me of you sometimes. Do you mind if I let him call me "Little one" too?
"You make me sick."
Go to hell. I don't care about you anymore. Nanashi hissed at the voice. He nuzzled closer to Trowa. Trowa made a small noise. His arms held him closer, Nanashi could hear his heart through his bare chest. Nanashi smiled and tried to sleep again. Why did I wake up anyway?
He remembered finally. Nanashi was shivering. It was freezing cold. Nanashi bite his lower lip, trying to stop shivering. They were covered with a warm blanket and he was still freezing cold. Nanashi watched Trowa; he shivered slightly too. With a pair of soft eyes, he reluctantly pulled away from his older lover. Trowa felt the absent presence. His eyes opened softly. Nanashi had his back to him, pulling his pants onto his bare body.
"Nanashi?" Trowa yawned. Nanashi looked back at him. Trowa propped himself up. "Why are you up? A nightmare?" He asked, running a hand over Nanashi's face. You know me well Trowa.
"No, not this time." Nanashi replied. Trowa smiled at that. "Its just so cold. I wanted to go turn on the heat." Trowa shivered slightly then.
"I'll do it." Trowa said and started to get up. Nanashi frowned and pushed him back against the pillows.
"No I can do it. Go back to sleep. I'll come back soon." Nanashi said. Trowa pulled him down for a long kiss. Nanashi grinned at it.
"You better, Nanashi. I don't want to be here without you." Trowa cooed in his ear, laughing sweetly. Nanashi smiled more. He gave Trowa a reassuring, rather passionate kiss.
"I plan to." Nanashi whispered. He ran a hand along Trowa's cheek. "I've grown accustomed to falling asleep with you." Trowa laughed softly. Nanashi pulled away, watching Trowa reluctantly close his eyes. Nanashi wrapped his arms about himself and left the bedroom, living the door a jar. He walked through the dark house to the thermostat and checked it. 15 degrees???? How the hell did it get that low?! Jesus, we're gonna catch pneumonia. Nanashi fixed it quickly, feeling the warmth slowly creep back into the house. He was about to turn away when he noticed it. The front door. It was open, just slightly. Nanashi's eyebrow arched and he closed it softly, wondering if they had forgotten to close it earlier.
He was still cold. That annoyed him slightly. He wanted to be warm, warm with Trowa to be more precise. Nanashi crossed to the kitchen and got out two glasses. Some warm water will do. Trowa might like a glass. Nanashi poured them both a glass. Taking a glass in each hand, he sipped one, relishing the warmth as it swam down his throat. He smiled and turned to go back to the room, to go back to his lover.
"Hello Angra Mainyu." the blonde officer said, smirking as he sat in the dark living room. Nanashi's back stiffened, the glasses shattered against the floor. "Long time no see."
"N-No...it can't..." Nanashi whimpered. He backed up into the counter. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be sitting in his living room, glaring at him. Nanashi trembled.
"How long did you expect to hide from me, Angra Mainyu." The blonde snapped. He moved faster, faster than Nanashi had expected. His hands clamped around Nanashi's throat. Nanashi gasped. The grip tightened. "You're in a lot of trouble, Angra Mainyu."
"N...Nanashi..." Nanashi gasped painfully.
He hadn't expected it. The blonde's knee slammed into Nanashi's stomach. The little breath he had in his longs escaped. His head swam in the oncoming unnatural darkness. Nanashi felt himself being thrust into the counter. His back screamed in agony. A small cry escaped him. The man's hand collided with his face. Nanashi managed a scream.
"Trowa!!!!!" He shrieked. The man growled at him and threw him down. Nanashi hadn't even had to scream. By the time he had hit the floor, Trowa was already there, in his jeans once again. Anger contorted his features as he lunged at the man, fist connecting with the officer's face.
"You touch him again and you die!" Trowa yelled. Nanashi pulled himself up a bit. The voice in the back of his sneered at him
"I told you this would happen. But did you listen to me? No, now Trowa's blood will be on your hands."
No! Trowa said he wouldn't let them take me away!!!
"And Jack said he'd never leave. And we know how that turned out."
Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!! Nanashi held his head, trying to block out the guilt. Trowa had forced the officer further back. He returned to Nanashi then. Trowa's arms wrapped around him, held him close for comfort. Nanashi looked at him; Trowa smiled at him reassuringly before fixating his gaze on the bleeding officer.
"I won't say it again!" Trowa snapped. Nanashi apparently missed the conversation Trowa had snapped at the officer earlier. "Get out!"
"Angra Mainyu belongs to me." The officer snapped back. Trowa's fingers encircled Nanashi's waist, holding him close. They hurt slightly but that was only because Trowa was angry at the idea of someone taking him.
"He doesn't belong to anyone!" Trowa yelled. "And he's name is Nanashi!!" Nanashi watched the officer's reaction. There was a look of vague shock on his face. But that converted back to fury. Nanashi saw it, two sides of his vision. A gun in the officer's hand and another from behind. The front door. Nanashi couldn't tell if Trowa had noticed the second but he sure as hell noticed the first. Eyes narrowed, he felt a small tinge of rage, something Nanashi had been repressing for a while. He pulled out of Trowa's grip a bit.
Nanashi separated them, forcing Trowa away and himself back before the second gun went off. It passed between them. Nanashi couldn't figure out where the bullet eventually ended up but it wasn't in one of them. Trowa's face was slightly surprised. He got up and tried to keep his gaze on all the threats around. Nanashi slid himself back into the kitchen. I have to find something... He rummaged through a draw. He could feel the handles of the kitchen knives. Nanashi grasped one, studied it. For a moment, he debated with himself. Trowa was a strong opponent but how strong could one be against a bullet in the back. With eyes closed, Nanashi picked up another. To protect him, I'll kill them all.
Nanashi was up. The knives weren't made for throwing but they did fairly well. It was out of his hand before anyone realized it. Nanashi's eyes closed as it sailed, unwilling to watch it pierce the soldier at the door. He heard that thud, suppressed the urge to throw up and growled, trying to fool them into thinking he was no longer afraid.
"Good luck with that. The fear's painted all over your face." the voice sneered again. Nanashi cursed it. He didn't have the patience to deal with it.
Another came at the door. Nanashi focused on him. A gun went off; Nanashi ducked. Something thudded to the floor. A piece of his heart screamed in loving terror.
"Heh, told you so." Nanashi's eyes dared to look. Trowa was sprawled on the floor. His eyes were closed, blood seeping into the carpet underneath him. The knife chinked to the floor. A spasm went through Nanashi's entire body. "Gee Nanashi, what's with the face."
Trowa!!!!!
"Told you so, you piece of shit. You should've killed yourself when you had the chance. Now he's dying and there's nothing you can do about it."
"Trowa!!!" Nanashi cried. He ran to him. Or tried to. Hands clamped around his waist and pulled him back. Nanashi struggled, clawed to get free. "Trowa no!!!! Trowa!!!" A hand clamped about his mouth. Nanashi bit it hard. Whoever had him cursed and threw him down. Nanashi head banged against the wall. He fought back against the hands that bound his wrists together again. "No!!! Let me go!!! Trowa!!!! No, no, no!!!! Let go!!! Trowa!!!! Let me go, I have to get to Trowa!!!" Nanashi sobbed. His head was pulled back. Nanashi felt the gag being tied about his head. He kicked as best he could. TROWA!!!!!
"Quiet yourself, Angra Mainyu." The officer snapped. Nanashi glared up at him. He wanted to hurt him so badly. He bucked, trying to get himself undone. The hand clamped around his throat again. "Be still."
I hate you!!! I hate you so fucking much!!! I'll never forgive you for any of this!!! God, I'll kill you!!! I swear I will!!!!
"But Nanashi, I thought you said you'd never kill again." The voice laughed. "You already took one soldier's life. Its just a never-ending spiral of death for you." Nanashi remembered his own silent vow. The vow he uttered in the back of his head when he ran away. He had already broken it. A never-ending spiral of death. "That's right Nanashi. See how weak you really are? You broke your own vow. You'll never be able to wean yourself from death. Its just who you are now."
God I hate you all!!
"Heh I know you do." Nanashi looked to Trowa. He was so still, he couldn't tell if Trowa was still breathing or not. The officer drew his gaze back.
"See? This is what happens when you disobey." the officer growled. Something slammed into the side of Nanashi's face. White fire flared in front of his eyes. "People get very hurt." Nanashi mumbled under the gag. Why!? Why, why, why!? Why can't you just leave me alone!!! I don't want to go back!! God, Trowa I don't want to go away!!!! Nanashi tried to get to Trowa again, to warm him, to stop the blood. His body exploded with pain. "Come along Angra Mainyu." Nanashi felt himself being dragged away. Tears rained down. No!!! Trowa!!! Let me stay!!! Let me stay with him please!!! Trowa!!!!!!!! Nanashi was still screaming in his head, begging for release as they forced him into that dark car again. He gazed out the back window, longing to go back. Longing to see Trowa standing on the porch, alive, as they sped away. TROWA!!!!!
Again, I don't own Heero or Trowa
Trowa and Nanashi: ...
What?!
Trowa: how could you!?
Nanashi: if he dies, I'll hurt you!!
I am not giving away the story!!! so sit down and be quiet! Sorry bout that' RR please