Heaven's not enough by Kanno Yoko performed by Steve Conte
As the others were lost in deep sleep under the cloud choked sky, Kiba found himself too empty to rest. It was snowing lightly, too cold to stick to the winter hard earth, instead forming a silvery coat. The flakes made a crisp sound as they were crushed under Kiba's quiet pawpads, the warmth between his toes melting perfect prints onto the snows surface. The wind was bitter against his eyes and nose, and though his fur deflected most of the chill he was cold from the inside out, the emptiness starting in his heart, and reaching down his veins numbing everything away. He felt so absolutely nothing, if someone were to tear open his flesh he swore the blood would pour out blue.
heaven's not enough
if when you get there..
just another blue
and heaven's not enough
you think you've found it
and it loses you
He began to ponder his circumstances, the company, the journey, the cause, but he found it all futile and just lay down in the snow, flakes spraying sout from the pressure of his collapse. Mulling over various ideas, he grew bored, and lay still for a while, just listening to the snow and his heartbeat, both of which were growing quieter by the moment. The rolling of the clouds broke that concentration, and he sighed.
you've thought of all there is
but not enough
and it loses you in a cloud
Finding himself slipping deeper into depression, he tried thinking happy thoughts. His ideas of what rakuen will look like, how happy he will be when he finds it... Viewing them like memories, images in a slideshow, running in a field of lunar flowers and soft green grass, under the supple moon. The sound of running water, and cooing night birds, the wind in the trees and of harmonious insects.
"there" most everything is nothin'
that it seems
"where" you see the things you only wanna see
Finally the images subsided, and he was empty again, knowing full well that they were all just illusions and fantasies. This was the reality, a cold world full of hateful humans and wannabe wolves, who deny what they are just to last the day. He sighed again, and then took over his breathing to keep the fears at bay, but it only helped so much.
I'd fly away
to a higher plane
to say words I resist
to float away
to sigh
to breathe.... forget
He wanted to just let it all go, ignore the instincts and the urges and just try to be happy with his friends, but he knew better. Kiba loved his friends, always, but they were only following him because they were bored, and had nothing better to look forward to.
and heaven's not enough
if when I'm there I don't remember you
and heaven does enough
you think you know it
and it uses you
He found himself thinking of those long gone memories, of his old pack, his clan, his love. And he thought, for just a moment, about what would happen if he forgot them completely. Shivers of fear and doubt coarsed over his flesh, and he shifted his weight to suppress the feeling.
I saw so many things
but like a dream
always losing me in a cloud
Lost, he lost track of when sleep took him, it didnt really matter, the transition between thoughts and sleep. In sleep there were dreams of fabulous things, splendor of nature, beautiful places, but they were only dreams, nothing more.
cause I couldn't cry
cause I turned away
couldn't see the score
didn't know the pain
of leaving yesterday really far behind
in another life
in another dream
by a different name
gave it all away
for a memory
and a quiet lie
and I felt the face
of a cold tonight
still don't know the score
but I know the pain
of leaving everything really far behind
and if I could cry
and if I could live what truth I did then take me there
heaven goodbye
And as he slept out in the cold, unknown to him his heart slowed, and finally his pulse stopped completely. He died in his dreams, with a last glimpse of rakuen to guide him in the spirit realm.