Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Naoko does. Read my ending notes!
"Where do I begin?"
By Chiisana Anisa
"Life is a game"
Usagi raised her head, looking helplessly at Rei, tears once again gathering in the corners of her already moist eyes from former tears. The man she loved above all things was lying in her arms, broken and she too with him while her best friend stared at her like she was the newest enemy they had to get rid of. Guilt sneaked in her small, tarnished heart, her hands leaving Mamoru's sides in the process of her getting up to face Rei.
She breathed hard, and with a quick movement wiped her eyes clean. "What do you mean Rei?"
An almost evil smirk appeared on Rei's face. "Well you are our Princess, are you not? I'm just not so sure that you fit up to that title anymore, or that you ever did... Princess."
Minako approached them from behind then circled Rei and stood by Usagi. The others neared but stood behind Rei. They were all waiting for some kind of explanation. Something hung in the air, making it for Usagi harder to breathe, while her eyes set their place on her friends, or four girls she believed she could call that. But, now, at this precise moment she couldn't shake the feeling this is the loneliest she'll ever get.
If life is just a game
Who is there to blame
For making it so
For making it easy to let go?
"... I..." she started, but the words seemed to forgotten how to forge inside of her head.
"What? Cat got your tounge, Princess?" Rei taunted.
Usagi placed Mamoru's body with great care back on the ground and slowly stood up. Yes she was sad, but she can be damned thousand times over and over again if she's going to let them put her down like before. That was the reason she went away in the first place, wasn't it? Her eyes held no tears anymore, now they shone with crystal clarity. Her body did stood a bit regal, but a pose was one of the Princess.
"Are you ever going to...?" Rei just didn't seem to get enough.
"Shut up." Well, Usagi thought she was about to give her enough.
Rei blinked, and the others followed. Rei's temper flared. "Who are you to tell me...?"
Getting irritated, Usagi snapped her fingers and although Rei's mouth were still moving, no sound whatsoever came out. After few unsuccessful tries, Rei closed her mouth in a shocked manner, wide eyes staring at Usagi.
"That's much better. Now listen. I really don't have time for your yapping and your usual temper tantrums. I thought you maybe grew up in this year, but I was wrong. Well, I did, so now I find it pitiful to argue with you. Do you understand? All of you?" She snapped her fingers again.
Rei still didn't make a sound although the spell was removed, for that was not a reason. Usagi now stood before her, in an image of a girl, no, woman that could never be touched. She stood small, yet tall and mostly proud. The air around screamed royalty and for the first time in her life, Rei felt something similar to fear of the person she once called her friend.
The others nodded slowly, answering her questions, as did Rei. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some mistakes to repair." And with that said she disappeared in the flick of pink light for their sight. The girls just stood there in awe. Ami was the first to speak up.
When we destroy and leave
Lie, cry and deceive
Who is there to see it all
To break our hearts with fall?
"Was that really Usagi just now?"
Minako took two slow agonizing steps in front of them. "Yes she was." Her eyes were full of tears.
Makoto shook her head, her eyes diverting to the body on the ground. "But she seemed like her old self moments ago, screaming for Mamoru-san. And then, she just..." The words didn't came out as intended.
"She became what she always was. The Princess no-one knew existed inside of her. As we discovered, the real Princess merely slept in her, dormant for thousand years. When she woke up, she woke up a part of our Usagi we never really get to know at all. A part that holds determination, strong will, cleverness, and a special passion towards life... Every single virtue that makes one leader a great leader." Minako explained.
Makoto raised her look to her. "Then pray tell... why did she choose you as her confidant?"
Smirk appeared on the pretty face of senshi of Love. "Because I was the first of all of you to get my full, and I do mean full memories back. I was also the other one who remained dormant for as long as she did."
Ami stared at her, wide-eyed. "You mean you...?"
"Ah, yes. I do mean. I'm as old as Usagi is. The real Usagi. You see, I'm her cousin, we share the same bloodline. You don't. That is the main reason you were fully reincarnated and I wasn't."
She swept her eyes over the girls and two cats, standing rigid in the middle of the large shrine yard. Her look swayed a little, her mind with purpose refusing to set on Mamoru's lifeless body. "Usagi didn't just grow up, well, actually in a way she did, by gaining power you couldn't even begin to comprehend. And she learned a lot, she isn't the same naive girl we once knew. Deep down I bet she still is, but somehow, that part is now dormant. And what she did just now... I don't even doubt she left to save herself..."
She stopped here, or she was rather interrupted by Rei, who finished her sentence. "... by saving Mamoru."
Rei lifted her chin high up, towards the sky, looking at the blue clouds swimming across it peacefully. "I'm sorry for blaming you Minako. But I'm even more sorry for doubting Usagi again."
The blond girl didn't smile at this. She just turned to leave, but her big blue eyes, secretive linked with Rei's purple ones. "You should be." Then she left, leaving the senshi to ponder about how much they were proven to be wrong about once weak Sailor of Justice, Sailor Moon.
As soon as she was out of sight, one gasp was heard and the girls turned around, only being able to stare at the young man's body, his chest in fact, which rose as if for the first time and on his lips only one name, one small and soft call of endearment.
"Usako..."
Was she really ready for this?
Her steps echoed on the hard surface of the ground no-one walked for who knows how long. Swiftly her legs carried her across, over the passage, through the doors and even further. On her final line, she raised her eyes to look upon one lone statue which remained intact from all the influence of time passing.
All she could see around her were ruins of a once beautiful Empire, shattered remaining's of the Palace right in front of her. But she didn't seem a bit fazed by it, instead she kept walking until she reached one spot she meant to stand on from the first moment she came here.
Stopping, she raised her arms and crossed them across her chest, closing her eyes.
"I summon you, Mother, to appear before me." She spoke in a regal tone, indifferent. And yet nothing happened.
Usagi felt anger sweep in her mind and opened her eyes. So her Mother dear refused to meet? And on those oh so many occasions in the past when she didn't really need help, then, then she would interfere. This time when she spoke it was more yelled and not calm at all.
"Mother! I command you to come!!" Soon after white light appeared before her and it took seconds before she could recognize the figure it formed. Beautiful figure of a woman around her mid twenties set her feet on the pedastial near Usagi, her eyes still closed, while she took big breath of air in.
Why I can fall with cost
Get up to find it all lost
Lose my senses in you
Before you fall in too?
In a second her eyes snapped open, reveling two very angry, but unbelievably gorgeous blue orbs. Usagi took notice of the anger that swirled inside of them, but did nothing. When her mother spoke, no trace of that anger was in her voice, but Usagi knew very well she only masked it.
"I believe you have no right to command me anything, my dear daughter. If I'm correct you've summoned me to undone the mess you personally have made." The Queen, although just a solid figure of a spirit, held herself tall and proud, giving her daughter her piece of mind. She wouldn't let it pass just like that.
"Mother, please. Do quit with that tone of yours also. I'm here to ask you for help, nothing more, nothing less. Now, will you hear me out?" Usagi bit out through her teeth, she somehow didn't have the nerves for doing this.
Queen Serenity briefly nodded at her daughter, waving her hands in a motion to go on.
"True, I need you to undone some things. As you already know which ones, all I need of you is to hear whether you can do it or not?"
The older woman gracefully moved over to Usagi and placed her hands on her daughters shoulders. She smiled gently, looking at her with comprehension in her eyes, lovingly.
"My dear, you've done things you have no knowledge of, or else you wouldn't be here." She took her by the hand and started walking towards to old well ruin near them. "Come and see that you do not need my help."
They stood by it and only then could Usagi see the cold water that filled it, surface as if made of glass, which was soon confirmed when it changed to look much like a mirror does. "What...? What is this thing Mother?" Usagi inquired.
"Child, you do not recall this, for you were very young, but this is a powerful well of time and space. One cannot travel through it like the portal we had, instead we can see into the past, present or the future within it."
Usagi merely watched it in surprise. "You mean we can see... I can see my future?"
"No. One self isn't allowed to see the future, only others can. But you can see your present. So my dear child, look and settle the matters of your heart." The Queen traced her hand over the surface and the picture changed bit by bit. In a matter of seconds the picture showed Usagi what she needed to see.
Quick images of her friends on the Earth flashed, showing Ami, Minako, Makoto and Rei one by one. But that wasn't of any matter to her, and as soon as she opened her mouth to protest the picture changed and showed one lone man sitting in a small room, one of the many rooms in Rei's shrine.
Usagi let out a gasp, her mask of indifference quickly slipping away from her stoic face, while tears rushed forward. "You mean.... He's fine? He's not dead?"
Her mother nodded. "Yes. Although he was dead. Do not mistake it."
Usagi stuttered, and looked at her mother stunned. She couldn't grasp anything that has happened as of yet. "Then how?" Once again her mother's hand touched the surface and it changed back to the past moment when Usagi was crying over Mamoru's dead body.
"You see, sometimes Fate itself has one odd sense of humor. You should know. But, then again, no matter how weird this may sound: Fate has love for the love. It can't stand to see two people apart when they are meant to be. So this time, some things lay corrected." She rested a hand on Usagi's cheek before she continued.
"And dear, this time, do try to make it all right." Smile remained on her face while she patiently waited for Usagi to understand. Finally realization kicked in and Usagi let two shining tear-drops slide down her face, blinking rapidly.
She threw her arms around her mother's neck, hugging her tightly. Whisper of thank you's swam around them, while these two women stood there in a gentle embrace, each one feeling happy for her own reasons and each one feeling the pain of the other one. Usagi backed out and looked hard at her mother.
In a second her entire composure changed and she looked regal as she did when she came. Her tears stood frozen on her beautiful face, her eyes once again cold and uncaring, her posture stiff and royal. She blinked once and smiled, but it never reached her eyes.
"Thank you mother for your help. Now that all is well I may live in peace." She didn't even wait for any words of goodbye, before the light surrounded her and carried her out of there.
The Queen rested against the well, looking down and smiling sadly for her daughter's unhappiness. The picture changed for one last time, showing to her Usagi smiling and happy, securely tucked in a hold of a dark man behind her, and she briefly wondered if that was the image of the past or maybe, just maybe of the future?
Who do we blame
For playing it a game
For all the cried tears
Through this wasted years?
Mamoru sat broken on the floor, his face buried in his arms which were resting on his knees. His head was full of images, flashing wildly in his inner mind, and he was torn between suffering and being glad she was back, if only for a moment. Some images unknown to him presented themselves and while he tried so desperately to sort them out, his heart couldn't help but to weep for the half girl, half woman he loves so much.
With a face of a man who once knew how happy love can make him he cursed his life, his treacherous dreams and false hopes. While one lone tears fell, his heart loved and his mind hated his own blue-eyed angel...
Usagi reappeared in an empty building not so far from her home. She knew it was being redone, for she followed everything that happened on the Earth in this past year she was gone. Her heart sang out in happiness and pure joy that Mamoru was safe and sound, breathing even though he was so far away from her.
She leaned on the wall behind her, her princess dress disappearing as she did so, her Sailor fuku staying on. As soon as she closed her eyes emotions which were threatening to overtake her for many hours now, finally did and she felt the tall, cold walls around her beginning to break down.
She felt as if she was the only person on this silly world, her heart at one moment empty and rid of any feelings whatsoever, and the very next one so full of them she thought it would burst. But it didn't. Instead she could feel it breaking again and again. Like some spell was placed over it. Mended it every time it broke just so it could break all over again.
Tears were now rapidly flowing down her flushed skin, her eyes going red and her head spinning. The strength inside left her in a hip and she crumpled down on the floor, right there in the loneliest corner, curling into a tight ball.
She was there, holding herself, feeling cold and abandoned, and couldn't help but blame herself for being so. Couldn't help but curse the Fate for playing her life like a game. One question run through her mind even as she was thanking the fate before for meddling in.
When does the game ends?
Who, who do we turn at the end
My sweet, dear friend..?
End of the Chapter Eight
AN: I'm terribly sorry for you guys. That you had to wait so long for me to update. The problem is that I became so much interested in Inuyasha that my mind is constantly full of ideas for writing fan-fiction for it.
Therefore I had a huge block regarding this story. Before I said that this story may have more than few chapters till the end, but as of now I can peacefully say that it has only two more chapters till the end.
Maybe even the next one will be the last. Stay tuned and you'll see. I really do hope I still have some readers left, and that you're not to much mad at me. The lyrics for this chapter are mine, so no credits for anyone but me.
Let me know if you liked this chapter and sorry for it's shortness. If any questions should arise mail me. That's all for now.
Love,
Chiisana Anisa