Clarity

Summary: One Shot: She wanted to accept the change but it was hard. She needed some clarity first – Java Junkie

--

Taylor had passed out fliers everywhere to announce that a 'special town meeting' was being held that evening to discuss a rather important problem about two of its citizens. Lorelai didn't know what it was about or whom they were discussing. Taylor had personally delivered her flyer to her at the Dragonfly. Luke told her that Taylor had given him a flyer too.

"Maybe it's about us," Lorelai asked him when they were walking towards Miss Patty's.

"Why would Taylor need to hold a meeting about us?" Luke took her hand in his.

"Maybe it's a party." Lorelai smiled. "a little 'congrats for finally realizing that you two are made for each other'"

"I doubt it. Knowing Taylor, he would not told a party for me."

"Then it'll be for me." Lorelai smiled again. She laughed. "The entire town was looking at me all strange and stuff ever since this stupid meeting was announced."

"Same here. Like they know something that we don't, right?"

"Yeah." Lorelai took hold of Luke's hand and gripped tight. She stared at him for a while. She wanted to know more about the man behind the flannel. As corny as it sounded, she just really wanted to know more about Luke then what she had already known. Eight years seemed like a long time to get to know someone and that's how long they have known each other. To her it seemed like they have gone though eight years of existence to each other without really getting past the whole denial act that they've been pulling.

They got to Miss Patty's and Luke looked at Taylor, who was contently standing by the podium with his gravel in hand. Taylor likewise, looked at Luke and then banged on the podium. "Okay people since everyone is now here, I would like to start the meeting. As we all know, Luke Danes and Lorelai Gilmore have gotten together. Thanks to the local gossip group of Miss Patty and Babette" Kirk coughed and Taylor added, "and of course Kirk who saw them kissing on the night of the test run at the Dragonfly, we have all been able to get accounts of this new couple. Of course, as a concerned citizen and local business owner, I am worried about the economy of this town, as well as the fine citizens that make up Stars Hollow."

Luke interrupted, "Now listen here Taylor…"

Taylor ignored Luke and continued on, "now back to what I was saying, since these two business owners are now dating, if they do happen to break up, I wonder what will happen to the economy of the town. Luke's Diner is a very popular establishment, which has been crowned a landmark to some, since we all live for his food. The Dragonfly, though fairly new to the business circuit, is slowly becoming popular amongst some tourists that have been stopping by and due to these people; we have been able to have a lot of sales in our businesses."

"Get to the point Taylor!" Gypsy was getting annoyed, as the rest of the crowd was.

"Yes well, the point is: if Luke and Lorelai break up then the town's economy will also break up. Everyone will either be a Luke or a Lorelai or if you cannot choose, then you will be nothing. I have no business to butt into their personal lives…"

"This is all bull, Taylor!" Luke exclaimed, jumping out from his seat. "You're right about not having any right to just butt into our personal lives so why are you? I mean this is my relationship and I am happy with it as of now and I am 100 sure that Lorelai and I will not break up."

Lorelai smiled from her seat. She felt happy knowing that he was so confident of the fact that they were never going to break up. Then as he continued to ramble on and on – it hit her. What if they did break up? She wasn't known for her long lasting relationships and things in the town would grow bitter, as well as in them. Their friendship was put on the line and it was a matter of whether or not they were ready to take such a huge step.

Later in the evening, Luke and Lorelai assembled into Lorelai's living room with an array of movies that Luke had never really seen – or frankly heard of before. And thanks to Lorelai's love for movies, he had found himself in the middle of an official Luke and Lorelai movie night. But Lorelai – in truth – was not feeling a movie night. She just wanted to talk about what she was thinking about during the town meeting. Them. Luke and Lorelai. The new couple that suddenly the whole world wanted to watch. She once again glanced over at Luke who was shifting in his seat, not really sure about his next move. The movie was starting but it seemed like both of their minds were out of place, or at least Lorelai's was.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Luke nodded and Lorelai continued, "you know at that bizarre town meeting, how you said that you were 100 sure that we weren't going to break up…" Luke continued to nod, clinging to every word that she said. "… Well how can you be so confident that we aren't going to break up?"

He was dumbfounded. All along she wasn't sure about things. During the date she seemed happy to be with him and after that town meeting, it seemed like she only listened to Taylor's ramblings and didn't quite get the full meaning of what he was trying to get across. For a moment they just shared an awkward silence.

Finally Luke spoke up. "So what is this? Just another relationship? Am I just another boyfriend?"

Lorelai took a deep breath and sighed. "Of course not," She said gently, touching Luke's hand. "You're more than just another boyfriend, but just the way that you said that we would never break up… I don't want to lose a friend and a boyfriend, that's all."

Luke took his hand away from Lorelai. "You made it sound like you weren't so sure. Why aren't you so sure?"

Lorelai looked away. She didn't want to hear this now. She thought he understood. She thought that he would say something else other than why she wasn't so sure. "I want this to work, but I don't want to say that we're never going to break up. All I want to know is why you're so sure!"

Yelling. They were going to have their first fight. They both knew it. He thought about her response, a lot of anger was put into that. She was mad. He was mad. "You want to know why?"

She nodded.

"I love you and for eight years I've been wanting to ask you out, I've been wanting to make a move but I didn't. I retreated. I held back because I wasn't sure. Then I had to watch you be with so many guys that I had envied because I kept on wondering, 'When is it my turn? When will I finally be with that amazing person?' But I took a chance. I asked you out and you said yes. I thought that you were ready. We're had eight years to be with each other. Eight years to really know each other and we were just friends. I got sick of it. I wanted just to kiss you right then and there so many times before but I held back. Now I'm getting the feeling that you're not ready? Eight long years, Lorelai."

Speechless. That was the only way to describe the way that she was at the moment. He had loved her. They once again did not speak to each other. Saying a simple 'I'm sorry' seemed way too understated for a moment like that.

"Eight years. Yeah that is a long time, and I know that you've been hurt before by other girlfriends and stuff but and I want this to work out. I guess I'm just way too scared to do anything because I'm scared about the possibility of it not working out. What if it doesn't and we ruin a great friendship? I am ready. I've been ready. Just think of those other guys as a test run for me before I got to the one person that I've always wanted to be with. I guess what I'm trying to say is – I'm scared."

She was scared. She didn't know how to handle a relationship like this because it was Luke. Luke, who would fix her porch steps in a heartbeat. Luke, who would give her coffee everyday and who would add a little lecture along with it because he cared so much for her. Luke, who had given her $30,000 because she needed the money for the Dragonfly. Luke, who was there when she had her many breakdowns and always made her that she had a shoulder to cry on. He was always there for her as a friend and now it was time for him to be Luke – the boyfriend. Things were changing and they were changing fast.

Luke glanced over at Lorelai who had not moved from her seat since the conversation started. He wanted to know what she was thinking at that moment and what she wanted to do about everything. Breaking up was not an option. It would have been too stupid of a reason if they broke up about this. A fight about them being ready for something like this. "Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"Do you want me to leave so you can think?"

She shook her head.

"Are you mad at me?"

She shook her head again.

No she wasn't mad at him. Why would she be? He did nothing wrong. All he did was try everything he could to make her happy. It was her that was the one who he needed to be mad at. She was acting selfish and only thinking about how things were going to affect her. Not him. She wanted things to work out. But saying it to him was a different story.

"Listen I know that 'sorry' isn't really the right thing to say. But in truth, I don't know what to say right now. I love you too. A lot. You don't know how much I've wanted this. Eight years for me too. Ever since I walked in that diner, there was this feeling that I had about the place. I knew that once I walked in there once – it wouldn't be my last time. Things changed since." She reached over and took his hand in hers. "Congratulations. You're the first guy to ever make me speechless."

He smiled. "I feel honored."

She returned the smile. "You should. I mean it's not everyday that my mouth is shut."

"So are we good?" he asked her.

"I don't know. It would be stupid to leave things where they are now. I want things to be good between us. I guess we need to start over. I'm not good at these relationship things. I mean the people that I went out with were ever as close as you are to me. Some of them don't even know my middle name." She laughed.

"Victoria."

"What?"

"Your middle name. Lorelai Victoria Gilmore."

She laughed. "How'd you know my middle name?"

"You told me. When we met. You said that your name was Lorelai Victoria Gilmore and that I should never forget it because it was a name that I was going to say a lot."

Lorelai pointed to herself, "I said that?"

Luke smiled. "Yeah. You said that when I first met you. You then continued to follow me in the diner asking for coffee and then you asked me for my birthday, I told you and you look a newspaper and ripped out the my horoscope and wrote You will meet a fabulous woman who will continually ask you for coffee. Give her some and she'll go away."

"You did give me some." Lorelai bit her lip. "But I never went away."

"And I'm so glad that you didn't." Luke smiled at her.

She turned on the movie and rested her head on his shoulder. "Me too." She declared.

From then on, neither of them ever questioned their relationship. They never thought once of what would have happen if they broke up and they never really talked about that night where they had said their first 'I love you' to each other. Now they had a sense of clarity with each other that stayed with them throughout their relationship.

--