Breaking the Habit
By: Rashalla Entalio
Disclaimer, Warnings and Pairings: If you haven't read them then please go back and do so. Thanks!
This chapter is dedicated to Rocaddict. You should all thank her because she was the one that threatened to steal my Duo plushie to make me finish writing this.
Instead of a recommendation, I'm going to do some shameless advertising: Please visit my fan fiction archive (and leave me a nice little note in my guestbook pouts please...): The Aficionado's Archive at www. geocities. com/ lpduozero (just take out the spaces).
A/N: This entire chapter is in Heero's POV. Oh, and a note about the conversations Heero has with himself: pretend he has a shoulder Quatre and Dr. J. That's kind of how I imagine it. He has the part that was trained into a soldier (the mini Dr. J) and the more emotional side (the mini-Quatre, okay so not that emotional, but you get the point ;)). Seriously, though, people who don't have conversations with themselves are really the crazy ones.
Well, (takes a deep breath) without further adieu, let the show begin... (pulls curtains back as the lights dim)
Chapter Four of Breaking the Habit: Clarity
"But now I have some clarity,
To show you what I mean..."
-- From "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park
On the way back to Earth I sat in the uncomfortable shuttle chair with Duo on my lap the whole entire time. He had passed out a little before take-off and hadn't woken up yet. He had lost a lot of blood, but I knew that he was tougher than most people gave him credit for. After all, he had survived an OZ prison at the age of fifteen. At seventeen, if he couldn't handle it, then very few people probably could.
Duo shifted in my lap, cuddling closer towards my heat. It felt kind of nice to be needed, not just as a soldier, but as a person, as an individual.
As I pulled away from my thoughts, I took in my surroundings. There was a young mother and her little boy sitting in front of us. The boy, every so often, would look back and glance at Duo. He looked at me once or twice, but the boy seemed totally in awe of Duo, for what ever reason.
Eventually the little boy spoke up, his clear alto sounded like a bell, and his lopsided smile reminded me of Duo's own.
"Mommy says she holds me tight when I'm asleep because she doesn't want to loose me and because she loves me and she says that most people hold each other when they're in love. Why do you hold him? Do you want you and him to be together for always or do you love him?"
I think I was momentarily thrown off balance. For a few minutes I just thought. Did I want to stay with Duo forever? I wanted to make sure he was safe, yes. He was a great partner, definitely. Did I want something more? Once again the two sides of me rebelled against each other. The soldier in me yelled that he was useful and nothing else, but the more emotional side whispered softly that I wanted Duo with me because of his smile, his laugh, because of his seemingly perfect nature, as well as all of his numerous flaws.
A few breaths later and the sentimental side whispered to me again, this time it said something I knew, but never quite wanted to admit. I love Duo Maxwell. No, not just his cheerfulness or his off-color jokes, no I loved the real Duo Maxwell, the one who hurts himself, yet the one who was brave and stead-fast, like I never would be. I loved everything about him, I just... well, I was almost entirely positive that I would never be brave enough to tell him that.
I was startled back into reality when the little boy asked impatiently, "Well?" I frowned a bit but answered anyway, knowing that it couldn't hurt telling my feelings to this inquisitive little boy.
"I never want to leave him, and I love him very much."
"Good," the little boy said, "He needs you. Mommy says that everyone needs someone to look after and someone to look after them." It was uncanny how the boy's words rang true. Hmmm, Can you say "wisdom beyond his years?" No? Well I can.
The shuttle jerked me out of my thoughts as we finally landed in the Tokyo space port in Japan. I was finally home; we were finally home.
I stepped off the shuttle into the space port, Duo sleeping restlessly in my arms.
A/N: Yes, I know, this is really short; blame it on Analytical English and Geometry. (Not to mention the fact that I decided to completely change the plot at this point). The next chapter should be out in about a week.
Thank you...
Feanturi Dindel: Yes, Duo is blunt, but I think it fits him very well; Kiyomi22: I'm glad you like the descriptions and here's even more insight into Heero's emotions/thoughts; Rena Lupin: I'm sorry this isn't soon and that it isn't much more; phisper: Sorry! I know it isn't soon, but... at least I updated, and yes, I did mean that Heero actually picked him up and carried him off; starbugkenny: I hope you didn't wait too long; ShinigamiPhoenix: Your very welcome for the dedication, I'm glad you like my Duo- I tried so hard to get his emotions across and I was so happy when you mentioned all of his feelings, I practically jumped up and down when I read that you like my description of Duo's cutting- I wasn't sure if had gone over the top or not, and lastly- I'm glad you like my Heero- I wasn't sure if his conversations with himself were going to be too confusing or not; Shuichi-404: yes... it's sad, but this chapter is happy... or at least it's fluffy and emotional, does that count?; qwerty: first- I love your name, second, here's the update; Goddess-Shalamar: Woo Hoo! Angst and Candy! Sorry that this chapter is kind of lacking in angst; Michikaru: Okay, so it's not soon, sorry, Oh and thank you for putting BTH on your fave stories list; fiery-icicles: yup, cuteness is good, yes, I agree- bad Duo, but without him I wouldn't have a plot... not that it's much of a plot anyway, but oh well
Sorry, once again to everyone who begged me to continue! Here's a little something to keep you all satisfied until I can figure out my next plot twist. Enjoy!