CHAPTER TWO: SOMETHING IN PATICULAR BUT HAS
VIRTUALLY NO STORYLINE
PART ONE: YELLOW COMET SCARE
YELLOW COMET BANK Kanbei: WHAT! I ONLY HAVE $29 DOLLARS UNDER MILITARY? THERE HAS TO BE A MISTAKE SOMEWHERE! Clerk: Nope it is exactly $29.00062346575859567506840678374596067476078 but it short is $29. This happened because a Titanic Bulvok rampaged through the bank and ate all the money. Kanbei: How many credits do I have? Clerk: Exactly (checks computer).132. Kanbei: WHAT! WHY? Clerk: Because someone kept probing your bank account. Kanbei: (sigh) and how much copper and silicone? Clerk: 163. Kanbei leaves Clerk: Bye.my tip? Kanbei gives three gold. Clerk: Yay!
YELLOW COMET HQ Kanbei: Now everyone, including myself, will spend only $300 every fortnight. Sonja: But our salaries are only $200 a month or $50 a week or $100 a fortnight or $1100 a year! Sensei:...Kanbei is going through financial problems Exactly 3.2896839 seconds later Sensei: Kanbei is rich!!! Kanbei starts sobbing on the ground Kanbei: It's true. I LOST ALL THE MONEY IN THE BANK BECAUSE OF PROBING AND TITANIC BOLVOZ!!! The clerk walks in. Clerk: Bulvox. Kanbei (repeating the previous):I LOST ALL THE MONEY IN THE BANK BECAUSE OF PROBING AND BOLVOX!!! Clerk: Titanic Bolvox. Kanbei (repeating the previous again):I LOST ALL THE MONEY IN THE BANK BECAUSE OF PROBING AND titanic bulvox!!! Clerk: TITANIC BULVOX. Kanbei: Don't yell at me. Kanbei kills the clerk HEVEAN God: I will kill the clerk! God takes out a C14 Impaler rifle and kills the clerk. Clerk: I hate my life and death.
PART TWO: FLAK'S IQ
BLACK HOLE LAB Flak walks up to a scientist. Flak: Add some of the Lashalobloby 1242 to the beaker Scientist 35: Why? Flak: It will cause a neotank to appear. Scientist 35: OK. Scientist 35 creates a neotank. Scientist 368477947703: I will tell Lash that we can build neotanks for $243. Scientist 2: Not if I get there first! All of a sudden, it hits the scientists that Flak is an idiot. Scientists 1-123456789012345: Flak, you are an idiot. Flak: Sigh. I am misunderstood by Nintendo. They thought the big bang caused the start of the universe. I proved it was Sturm's old meteor. Scientists: How? Flak goes through a year long talk on how it was a meteor that started the universe. A year later. Flak: .and so it was a meteor that caused the universe, not the big bang. Any questions? Scientists: Ya. We figured your IQ is 428, not 76.
PART THREE: CLAYTON'S ATTEMPT TO KILL STURM
BLACK HOLE HQ Clayton walks in with five men. Clayton: Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this EMP, ElecroMagneticPulse, or Elecro-Magnetic-pulse. Sturm: Pulse Clayton: Ok. Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this EMP, ElecroMagneticPulse, or Elecro-Magnetic-Pulse, I will kill you. Sturm: Let me think about it.NO Clayton fires his EMP Sturm farts. One of Clayton's men dies Clayton: Holy Flak!!! A little while later. Clayton: Let's try this again. Clayton: Ok. Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this gravity gun and swing you until you die! Sturm: I found my anti-gravity belt Sturm puts belt on. Clayton fires gravity gun. Sturm is unaffected Sturm flies around and kills a guy. Clayton: Holy Flak. Holy Flak A while later. Clayton: Ok. Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this explosive and kill you. Sturm: Don't bug me! I am reliving my childhood. Clayton fires the explosive. Sturm fires a top. Explosive kills one of Clayton's men. Clayton: Holy Flak! Holy Flak! Holy Flak! A while later Clayton: For the last time, I will shoot you with Michael's gun if you don't surrender! Michael walks in Michael: Yarg! Michael kills Claytons last TWO men. Clayton: I GIVE UP!!!
PART FOUR: NUECLEAR DEATHRAY!!!
BLACK HOLE HQ Lash: My best invention, the nuclear deathray! It fires and kills and stops radiation. FIRE!!! Soldier 1: Yes mam! Flak runs into the ray fire to pick up a "Ham Sandwich" Flak: HAM! Deathray fries him to ash. Flak: I will beat you with my layer! Lash: Layer? Adder: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! I LOSSST MY FAVORIITEEE MIIIRROR! Hawke: Come again Hawke splashes Adder with Cappuccino coffee. Adder: Gasp. No, exclamationmak, I lost my facorittee mirrior. Hawke: Ok.....DIE! Adder: NOOOOOOOOO!
PART FIVE: SOMETHING POINTLESS
GREY CONSTILLATION HQ Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? All the warrior: STOP SAYING DA JA VU!!! Ice Born Warrior: Alright! Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? All the warriors: ARGH!!
VIRTUALLY NO STORYLINE
PART ONE: YELLOW COMET SCARE
YELLOW COMET BANK Kanbei: WHAT! I ONLY HAVE $29 DOLLARS UNDER MILITARY? THERE HAS TO BE A MISTAKE SOMEWHERE! Clerk: Nope it is exactly $29.00062346575859567506840678374596067476078 but it short is $29. This happened because a Titanic Bulvok rampaged through the bank and ate all the money. Kanbei: How many credits do I have? Clerk: Exactly (checks computer).132. Kanbei: WHAT! WHY? Clerk: Because someone kept probing your bank account. Kanbei: (sigh) and how much copper and silicone? Clerk: 163. Kanbei leaves Clerk: Bye.my tip? Kanbei gives three gold. Clerk: Yay!
YELLOW COMET HQ Kanbei: Now everyone, including myself, will spend only $300 every fortnight. Sonja: But our salaries are only $200 a month or $50 a week or $100 a fortnight or $1100 a year! Sensei:...Kanbei is going through financial problems Exactly 3.2896839 seconds later Sensei: Kanbei is rich!!! Kanbei starts sobbing on the ground Kanbei: It's true. I LOST ALL THE MONEY IN THE BANK BECAUSE OF PROBING AND TITANIC BOLVOZ!!! The clerk walks in. Clerk: Bulvox. Kanbei (repeating the previous):I LOST ALL THE MONEY IN THE BANK BECAUSE OF PROBING AND BOLVOX!!! Clerk: Titanic Bolvox. Kanbei (repeating the previous again):I LOST ALL THE MONEY IN THE BANK BECAUSE OF PROBING AND titanic bulvox!!! Clerk: TITANIC BULVOX. Kanbei: Don't yell at me. Kanbei kills the clerk HEVEAN God: I will kill the clerk! God takes out a C14 Impaler rifle and kills the clerk. Clerk: I hate my life and death.
PART TWO: FLAK'S IQ
BLACK HOLE LAB Flak walks up to a scientist. Flak: Add some of the Lashalobloby 1242 to the beaker Scientist 35: Why? Flak: It will cause a neotank to appear. Scientist 35: OK. Scientist 35 creates a neotank. Scientist 368477947703: I will tell Lash that we can build neotanks for $243. Scientist 2: Not if I get there first! All of a sudden, it hits the scientists that Flak is an idiot. Scientists 1-123456789012345: Flak, you are an idiot. Flak: Sigh. I am misunderstood by Nintendo. They thought the big bang caused the start of the universe. I proved it was Sturm's old meteor. Scientists: How? Flak goes through a year long talk on how it was a meteor that started the universe. A year later. Flak: .and so it was a meteor that caused the universe, not the big bang. Any questions? Scientists: Ya. We figured your IQ is 428, not 76.
PART THREE: CLAYTON'S ATTEMPT TO KILL STURM
BLACK HOLE HQ Clayton walks in with five men. Clayton: Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this EMP, ElecroMagneticPulse, or Elecro-Magnetic-pulse. Sturm: Pulse Clayton: Ok. Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this EMP, ElecroMagneticPulse, or Elecro-Magnetic-Pulse, I will kill you. Sturm: Let me think about it.NO Clayton fires his EMP Sturm farts. One of Clayton's men dies Clayton: Holy Flak!!! A little while later. Clayton: Let's try this again. Clayton: Ok. Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this gravity gun and swing you until you die! Sturm: I found my anti-gravity belt Sturm puts belt on. Clayton fires gravity gun. Sturm is unaffected Sturm flies around and kills a guy. Clayton: Holy Flak. Holy Flak A while later. Clayton: Ok. Sturm, if you don't surrender, I will shoot this explosive and kill you. Sturm: Don't bug me! I am reliving my childhood. Clayton fires the explosive. Sturm fires a top. Explosive kills one of Clayton's men. Clayton: Holy Flak! Holy Flak! Holy Flak! A while later Clayton: For the last time, I will shoot you with Michael's gun if you don't surrender! Michael walks in Michael: Yarg! Michael kills Claytons last TWO men. Clayton: I GIVE UP!!!
PART FOUR: NUECLEAR DEATHRAY!!!
BLACK HOLE HQ Lash: My best invention, the nuclear deathray! It fires and kills and stops radiation. FIRE!!! Soldier 1: Yes mam! Flak runs into the ray fire to pick up a "Ham Sandwich" Flak: HAM! Deathray fries him to ash. Flak: I will beat you with my layer! Lash: Layer? Adder: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! I LOSSST MY FAVORIITEEE MIIIRROR! Hawke: Come again Hawke splashes Adder with Cappuccino coffee. Adder: Gasp. No, exclamationmak, I lost my facorittee mirrior. Hawke: Ok.....DIE! Adder: NOOOOOOOOO!
PART FIVE: SOMETHING POINTLESS
GREY CONSTILLATION HQ Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Tom: I want to be my own leader. Braden: Not in this army. Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? All the warrior: STOP SAYING DA JA VU!!! Ice Born Warrior: Alright! Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? Ice Born Warrior: Da ja vu? All the warriors: ARGH!!