Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Arigatou minna-san! Lots of lovely reviews! ^_^ Well, I was thinking about doing Bakura's POV for this chapter, so you knew what he was thinking…but I decided to make you suffer just a little bit longer. *Cackles* Then again, I might just keep this a Ryou POV fic. I'm not sure yet.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. I don't make any money out of writing this. Blah, blah, blah, you know the drill.

Warnings: Yaoi. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

"Songs from the radio being sung by Ryou"

Songs from the radio

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Chapter 3 – Silly hikari, I already knew.

Ryou's POV

I sighed and closed my eyes, drowning out the annoying voices talking on the radio. I shifted my current position on the bed slightly and folded my arms behind my head, using them as a sort of pillow.

I was confused. Really confused. The past couple of days, Bakura had been flirting with me. Toying with me. Constantly and relentlessly. I guess I kind of enjoyed it, but it's so frustrating. Damn him!

He's not his usual grumpy, evil, mean self either. Far from it. I don't understand it. It's quite scary. He hasn't sent anyone to the Shadow Realm in a while. That means something definitely isn't right.

Does he know how I feel about him? And yes, I mean that more than just the sense of drooling over his body. His eyes, they seem to sparkle nowadays. But I just can't place the emotion. Happiness? Mischief? What?

Whatever it is, it's so damn confusing.

I decided to escape the continuous onslaught of flirting by residing in my room for the time being. His playful actions and words were getting to me. If my Yami isn't careful, I'll end up flinging myself at him and attaching my lips to his. And he definitely wouldn't be happy about that.

…Or would he?

I shake my head slightly. No way. I don't even know whether he's straight or not. But does he know that I'm…well…gay? He must be pretty idiotic to not realize that. And as dim-witted as he may seem, Bakura's not completely stupid.

And what about Bakura? Is he…well… that way inclined? He's never seemed to pay attention to anyone besides Yugi's Yami and me, though. Apart from the people he sends to the Shadow Realm. But that's another matter entirely.  He only pays attention to Yugi's Yami because he wants to kill him. And he only pays attention to me because I'm his hikari and he's stuck with me…

I gasp as I suddenly feel warmth and weight on my stomach. During my train of thought, I hadn't noticed the other presence slip into my room. Opening my eyes I see a very sexy-looking Yami smirking down at me.

What the fuck? Why is he sat on my stomach? Why is he in my room? Why can't he leave me alone?!

"Hey hikari." He purred. "Whatcha doing?"

I groaned inwardly. He just loves to torment me. But…the only way he knows he's tormenting me, is if he knows…

I glare as best I can, but looking as cute and innocent as I do, it didn't really look all too threatening.

He simply blinks at me, cocking his head to the side in expectancy for an answer.  He looks weird like that. And stealing my look, too! Humph! The nerve!

"Listening to music." I reply, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

"Whatcha listening to?"

"The radio." I answer through gritted teeth.

"What station?"

I shoot him an irritable look. "Does it matter?"

He shrugs. "Not really."

I close my eyes and try to prevent myself from biting him in frustration. Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away? I let out an inaudible sigh and turn my attention back to the radio.

Another turning point

A fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist

Directs you where to go

 I smile slightly and sing quietly to the music, completely forgetting the presence of my darker half.

"So make the best of this test

And don't ask why

It's not a question

But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable

But in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life"

A slight cough causes my voice to catch in my throat and my eyes to snap open. Bakura is looking at me in amusement with an eyebrow raised.

Dammit, he's still here!

"You know, for a weakling, girly hikari, you don't sing half bad."

I frown at him. "What does me being a girly, weakling hikari have anything to do with how well I sing?"

"Seeing as you're quite cute and all, as well as having a good singing voice, you'd probably be able to get any girl you wanted."

I blink and feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. Not only did he just ignore my question, he complimented me? And is he really that stupid? Any girl I want? I don't want a girl! I want you, you baka!

I'm really tempted to scream that out loud. But I go with my better judgement and keep my mouth shut.

"Um…Bakura? I'm not exactly into girls…" I mumble quietly.

I feel so stupid. And I'll bet my face is really red. The whole tomato-faced look doesn't really go for me. Well, I suppose it'd be better if I told him rather than he finds out by me trying force my tongue down his throat, right?

"It's okay if you don't like any girls at the moment. I'm sure you'll find one."

He's trying to stop his 'smile' turning into a smirk. I can just tell. Why is he trying to give me advice anyway? That's the kind of thing Yugi's Yami would do. Not my Yami.

"No Bakura. I don't like girls."

I'm starting to get really uncomfortable. Not only is he being completely stupid by not understand what I'm trying to say; he's sitting on me! Which is enough to get my over active imagination to see naughty things. Really naughty things.

"What do you mean, hikari?" He asks, 'innocently'.

He knows. I know he does! He's just doing this to make me suffer. Well it's working!

I cringe and shut my eyes. Willing him to go away. Willing the radio to blow up into a million pieces. This song just had to come on, didn't it? I want to die. I want to just shrink and disappear in a little 'poof' motion like they do in those weird little cartoon type things Bakura likes to watch.

You. I want to take you to a gay bar

I want to take you to a gay bar

I want to take you to a gar bar, gay bar, gay bar

Let's start a war

Start a nuclear war

At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar

At the gay bar

Now tell me, do ya

Do ya have any money?

I want to spend all your money

At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar

Bakura bursts into laughter. His whole body is shaking and his laughter is drowning out the radio. At least I can't hear it anymore. My face is now redder than a tomato. It's as red as a tomato with sunburn.

For some reason, I suddenly feel really angry. Really angry. I guess Bakura felt it through our link as he has abruptly stopped laughing.

"Hikari…? Are you-"

"Get. Off. Me. NOW!" I scream.

Stupid Yami! Stupid, sexy Yami! Damn him! Damn him straight to hell! I hate him! Well…I don't hate him, but he's not one of my favourite people right now! I'd rather go on a date with Anzu Masaki than be with him. That's how angry I am!

I push him off me and he lands onto the floor with a satisfying thud. I stomp up to the radio and throw it across the room and into a wall, where it smashes and breaks. All while my Yami is staring at me open-mouthed.

"What are you staring at?!" I snap.

My face is still red, but now mixed with anger as well as embarrassment. I feel like hurting something.

My Yami starts to laugh again. I growl and he looks surprised for a moment. He gets up and rubs his no doubt sore behind slightly.

"Two words, hikari." He said, still laughing. "Anger management."

I opened my mouth to retort, but shut it again. What got into me? I never get violent. Never! Ack, Bakura is having a bad effect on me. Maybe he's right? I do need some sort of help. I mentally roll my eyes. Of course I need help. But I'm not going to make a bigger fool out of myself and say he's right. I'd never live it down.

I flop down onto my bed and stick my tongue out at him.

At least I'm feeling better. I'd feel even better if he left me to think about him in private. He might hear my thoughts, if he hasn't already. I lay back down and sigh, glancing at the pieces that were once the radio scattered on the floor, before closing my eyes.

"I think we're going to need a new radio." I mumbled quietly.

I heard a soft snicker from Bakura somewhere in the room. I look at the clock on the wall. 9:53pm. Had I really been up in my room that long? No wonder Bakura came up to annoy me. He must have been bored out of his mind. Oh Kami…he better not have done anything drastic. I yawn slightly. Ah, who cares? I'll deal with it later.

I feel weight on my stomach again and open my eyes, irritated. My Yami was on me, again! And not the way I want him on me, either. I just want to sleep! He's not planning on sleeping on me, is he? No, no, no. I couldn't handle that.

My Yami just stares back with a sleepy expression. He looks scarily at peace like that. He's lying down on me this time, with his chin resting on my stomach and the rest of his body curled up on my bed. You know those moments where kittens yawn or puppies look at you with, well, puppy-dog eyes, and you just have to go 'aww'? Well now was one of those moments. But I decide against it.

I sigh and close my eyes. Well if he's going to be snuggly and affectionate I might as well milk it for all it's worth, right? He's surprisingly soft and warm, too. This isn't so bad…

"Hikari?"

I open my eyes to look at him. He's still staring at me. I can't prevent the light pink tinge that crosses my features.

"Hmm?" I answer sleepily.

"I already knew, you know."

His voice sends pleasant tremors through my body and I repress the shiver that threatens to crawl up my spine.

"Knew what?"

"Silly hikari. That you're gay, of course."

You know the earlier moment when I wanted to disappear? Well, it's one of those moments again. And I'm pretty sure my face has surpassed the redness of a tomato with sunburn. I should be put in the record books for such an achievement. What's more, I can't escape with my Yami on top of me. Oh, how I wish it were as perverted as it sounded. He simply chuckles at my embarrassment and lowers his head on my stomach, I seem to have become a human pillow, and closes his chocolate-coloured eyes. I change my earlier comments about him being too dark and sexy to look cute. He has somehow managed to look cute whilst looking dark and sexy. He mumbles something about how I'm really girly and my hair just screams 'GAY!'

Well, he certainly knows how to ruin a moment, doesn't he?

Despite myself I laugh softly and close my eyes. Sleepy…warm… Yami…snuggly…

Yes, this isn't so bad.

This isn't bad at all.

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Ta da! I did it! Well, I should really have done another chapter for my other fic, but I'm stuck with that for the time being. And I watched Yu-Gi-Oh the other day and it had a whole chapter with Yami Bakura! I'm pretty sure I was drooling all the way through. I laughed when he sent those three weirdos, you know, the people that licked Bandit Keith's ass in Duelist Kingdom? Yeah, them, to the Shadow Realm. And my laugh was kind of like a cackle. If someone were there with me they'd have been quite worried. Well, that was what made me do this chapter. Though I don't know why, it just did! ^_^; So…what'd you think? Bad? Good? I'm sorry if it was short, but that's all my unimaginative imagination could come up with for the time being. And I hope it was at least midly fluffy. I tried! Well, Review!