Hentai Ryou

By Vada via cretino

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Kazuki Takahashi does… etcetera, etcetera.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. My weird 'sense of humour'. Perverted and sarcastic Ryou. Swearing.

I know I'm not the best at updating, but I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Well I won't be updating as often for a while, probably until this school year is over. It's my last year, year 11, and I have to finish off all my coursework, projects and revise for my exams. It's not gonna be pretty. I'll try and update when I have the free time, though. It's just a warning.

Oh, and on 7th February I went to see Blink182 in Manchester! It rocked! They are so ace; I love Tom, Mark and Travis so much. ^___^

*~*~*~*~*~*~* - Change of time and/or scene.

//Blah.// - Yami to Hikari through their link.

/Blah./ - Hikari to Yami through their link.

"Blah" – Speech.

'Blah' – Thinking.

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Chapter 11 – A Proposal

"Hey! Ryou!"

I glanced around at the sound of a familiar voice before I caught sight of spiky, tri-coloured hair.

"Yami, stop dragging me around, Yugi's over there!" I said, pointing in Yugi's general direction with the hand not currently in my Yami's death grip.

Instead of letting me go, Bakura merely grunted and changed direction, heading towards Yugi, who appeared to be alone.

"Hey." I greeted, slightly worn out due to being dragged the whole way here.

Yugi smiled at both Bakura and myself before raising an eyebrow at our still-linked hands.

"Are you two together?" He asked, gazing at me quizzically.

I flushed and shook my head, trying to slip my hand out of Bakura's, but he would have none of that.

"What business is it of yours, brat?" Bakura snapped harshly, but Yugi didn't even flinch.

My eyes narrowed and I opened my mouth to scold Bakura, when I was beaten to it by a deep and authorative voice.

"Don't talk to my hikari like that, Tomb Robber." Yami Yugi snarled, coming up behind Yugi and slipping a possessive arm around his waist.

"I'll talk to anyone however I please, Pharaoh." Bakura replied, sniffing disdainfully.

I rolled my eyes and exchanged an amused look with Yugi. Those two will never change.

I could feel a piercing gaze on me, and I lifted my eyes to find crimson orbs boring into me. I barely prevented a surprise squeak. Yami's eyes held a knowing glint in them, and I then realised that my hand was still linked with Bakura's.

/Can you let go of my hand now?/ I asked self-consciously, tugging at it to get my message across.

Bakura and I followed Yami and Yugi through the crowd of people, obviously going to find where everyone else was.

When I got no reply on Bakura's part, I tried what I hope was a more reasonable approach. He was gripping my hand quite painfully.

/Well can you at least loosen your grip? I think you're cutting off the blood circulation./

Surprisingly, Bakura complied. I looked up at him to flash him a thankful smile, but he refused to look me in the eye. I rolled my eyes. What was wrong with him? Honestly, sometimes he really reminds me of a hormonal teenage girl. Nice and happy one minute – as scary as that is – and bitchy and moody another.

When we caught up with the group and I had greeted everyone, I did what I usually do and stood to the sidelines. Though Jounouchi kept glancing at me when he was sure Bakura's attention was elsewhere and would give me the thumbs up. What the hell did that mean?

"So, Tomb Robber, ready to be beaten by the great King of Games?"

Well that did it. Before I had the chance to blink Bakura and Yami were off somewhere to compete in some sort of game. Now normally I wouldn't be worried. Yami would win, Bakura would come back extremely pissed, but other than that all would be right in the world. But lately things had gotten more competitive between them, and Yami had been obsessed with humiliating Bakura.

And I mean really humiliating him.

Somehow Yami would persuade Bakura to arrange a bet, and Bakura would end up with the worse end of the deal; mainly because he lost every time. Being the tenderly caring hikari that I am I usually try to make Bakura see what a fool he is, and that making bets with Yami Yugi would be his downfall.

Actually, I just watch their antics and laugh whenever Bakura has to do something really embarrassing.

Hey, just because I'm supposed to be a pure and innocent soul doesn't mean that I can't laugh at others' misfortune, does it?

Sighing in boredom, I watched Yugi cream Jounouchi at air hockey. For someone so small he sure could hit that puck hard. Even now Anzu would cheer Yugi on as if we were still on Kaiba's blimp and this simple game would decipher whether the world would plunge into the darkness of the Shadow Realm. Stupid girl.

"Hiya Ryou, where's lover boy?"

Without moving my eyes from the game between Yugi and Jounouchi, I said, "He's not my lover, Malik. And currently, he's playing a game somewhere, getting his ass kicked by Yami."

Malik laughed beside me. "Come now, Ryou, where's the faith? What if Bakura wins?"

I spared Malik a look, raising a sceptical eyebrow.

Malik nodded. "Yeah, okay, he has no chance in hell."

Jounouchi let out a 'I'm the man!'  for scoring past Yugi for the first time, before Yugi scored again and won the match. Sulking, Jounouchi stepped down and went to find his boyfriend for comfort. At least that's what I'm guessing he's doing. You would never have thought Kaiba to be the romantic type. Shows how much I know.

Come to think of it…am I the only person without a boyfriend or girlfriend? Honda and Otogi have something going on, Yami and Yugi are so in love it makes me ill, Malik and Marik are fucking like rabbits every night – they graciously told me so – and Kaiba and Jounouchi have their own weird relationship. Damn, we're just one big group of gays. No wonder people keep their distance. Well, there's that and the fact that they're terrified of Yami and Kaiba.

Then again, Anzu's single, but she doesn't really matter. I think we all let her hang out with us because we don't have the heart to tell her we don't like her. No, wait…Bakura's told her that many times but she just stands there with a blank look on her face, before smiling brightly and finding someone else to annoy.

"That's my cue." Malik announced, jolting me out of my thoughts. I watched him challenge Yugi with an amused smile on my face, right before Yami and Bakura came back. As expected, Yami looked positively smug, whereas Bakura looked livid. Actually, he looked kind of embarrassed, too. I wonder what he had to do this time.

Bakura stalked over to me, scowling, and hoisted himself onto one of the machines next to me, ignoring the warning look from one of the arcade attendants nearby.

"So…" I started, trying to talk about something without setting Bakura off. "Yami won, huh?"

Oops. Bad topic.

"Shut up." Bakura snapped. Oh God, he's going to be angry for hours. What fun. Though I really do want to see what his embarrassing task is.

Yami sauntered passed, looked pointedly at Bakura, and carried on his merry little way. This seemed to make Bakura even more angry, and he crossed his arms, huffing to himself.

"What do–"

"None of your business!"

"Oh fine." I snapped back, getting up and walking away.

What a jerk! I suddenly felt really upset and tears threatened to fall. Malik cast me a concerned look, before cursing as Yugi shot the puck into his goal. I walked away from my friends and my oblivious Yami, wanting to spend some time alone.

I smiled bitterly to myself as I found a more secluded area of the arcade. Finding a seat, I plopped down onto it, burying my face in my hands.

Things were getting harder for me. Bakura's harsh words were beginning to really hurt. They never had before. My weird obsession had started out as lust. I'd started noticing how sexy my Yami was, how nice his ass was, fantasising about us, you know…doing it. Bakura was his usual bitter, spiteful self, and I was living in my own little fantasy world.

Then things changed. I started wondering what it would be like to have a relationship with him, to hear him say how much he cared for me; mushy crap like that. It took me a while, but I eventually realized I was in love.

I'd slowly started to notice a change in Bakura soon after my revelation. He seemed nicer; he'd spend more time with me rather than out terrorising other people, he'd even insinuate certain things that would make me question our supposed platonic relationship. But now I wonder whether I'd just imagined it all. Why would someone as sexy as Bakura want a relationship with someone like me?

I sighed heavily. Thinking about it just made me even more depressed.

"Ryou!"

I blinked, confused, as a voice I didn't recognize called my name.

"Ryou, darling!"

It didn't sound like a teenage voice, and I knew it was female…

"Yoo-hoo! Over here!"

Terror gripped me, and slowly I turned to my left, to see that…thing make her way towards me.

"I've finally found you, my love."

Kami-sama. Help! How the hell did she find me? How does she know my name? …Did she just say, 'my love'?!

Squashing my pride, I contacted the only person I could.

/YAMI!/

She was stood directly in front of me now, blocking my only means of escape. There was no way I could get round her…really. She beamed at me, looking positively disgusting in her floral dress. The woman had tires. Way too many tires.

"W-who…are you?" I managed to squeak out.

The woman looked devastated. "You don't remember?"

I shook my head. In reality I did. That violation is going to be imprinted on my mind forever!

Where was Bakura? Wasn't the jerk going to help his hikari in his time of need? He hadn't even replied to my bloody distress call!

"We met the other day on the street." She informed me ever so graciously.

I don't care! Leave me alone! You must be pushing forty! It'll never work!

Did I say those thoughts aloud, though?

Nope.

Damn my polite upbringing. Sometimes I wish I could be like Bakura and simply tell strangers to fuck off.

"…Oh." I said lamely.

"So, honey, what do you say we go for a drink?"

I was just about to tell her that I wasn't thirsty – hey, it was the only excuse I could think of – before my knight in shining armour made his appearance.

About bloody time!

"Who do you think you are, bitch?"

The Hippo Lady whirled around, facing my Yami in all his terrifying glory. This made me face something of hers that I really didn't want to*, so I pressed back further in my chair, hoping Bakura would just send her to the Shadow Realm already.

"Excuse me?" She asked, appalled.

"Leave Ryou alone, you sick old hag."

I winced at his choice of wording. She looked like she had a lot of weight behind her. I doubt even Bakura could handle an angry hippopotamus.

The woman took a few steps forward – I was so grateful for that – and put her hands on her hips in a very pompous manner. She stuck up her nose, glaring at Bakura. "You have a lot of nerve, speaking to me like that. And why should I leave him alone, does he belong to you?"

That seemed to get Bakura. He faltered for a moment, obviously not expecting her to say something like that. Bakura returned her glare full-force, and I could feel his increasing irritation pass through the link.

"Yes." Bakura hissed angrily, though somewhat uncertainly.

Hippo Lady snorted, obviously knowing that my Yami was lying through his teeth. But to my utter surprise she began to walk away. But before she walked around a corner and out of my view, she turned to me with a very scary and confident grin. "I'll be seeing you later, lover." To top it off she winked at me before toddling** away.

I continued sitting in the chair stiffly, staring at the space she had previously stood with horror. I'd have to see her again?!

"Hey Ryou, uh…you okay?" Bakura asked hesitantly.

"…I think so." I murmured, looking up at Bakura.

"Good, because you scared the hell out of me!" Bakura snapped, sounding scarily like a mother hen. "You yell at me through the link – sounding extremely terrified, I might add – with no explanation of why or where you were! For all I knew you could have been held at gunpoint or something–"

You know, despite the fact he's a cold-hearted, psychotic bastard, deep down I know that he cares.

The thought made me grin, and Bakura stopped his ranting to give me an odd look. Rolling his eyes, he turned around and walked away. I got up and followed him, feeling a lot happier than I had a few moments prior.

Nothing works better than a scary old lady to patch things up between the other half of your soul.

When I caught up with Bakura, he was with Yugi and the gang. The first thing I noticed was that something was slightly off.

Bakura was fidgeting, which meant that he was nervous. Bakura also had a slight blush on his face, which I thought was cute, but it also had me worried. What was Bakura so bothered about…?

My question was soon answered.

Yami Yugi coughed loudly, gathering the attention of the group. "Sorry to interrupt your, uh, activities everyone." At this, Jounouchi and Kaiba stopped sucking face. Jounouchi had the grace to look embarrassed, but Kaiba just looked annoyed at being interrupted.

"But I think that Bakura here has something to say, don't you Bakura?" Yami gave Bakura a pointed look, whereas Bakura swiftly gave him the finger.

Now not only was all of the attention of the group on Bakura, but some onlookers had decided to see what was going on as well.

Bakura stepped forward. The slight blush had now increased and covered his whole face. I would have laughed outright.

…If Bakura hadn't started walking towards me.

I had the strange urge to run away – far, far away – but my feet were rooted to the ground. Bakura didn't stop until he was stood directly in front of me. Not only was I embarrassed for Bakura, but I was embarrassed for myself as well.

People were looking! Lots of people, in fact. God damn, didn't they have lives of their own?

Taking a deep breath, my Yami knelt down in front of me. The position reminded me of a fantasy of mine, and the thought made me blush. Scowling inwardly, I tried to banish all perverted thoughts from my mind and concentrate on what the hell Bakura was doing. Was he going to beg me for something?

Blushing furiously, Bakura took hold of my smaller left hand in both of his.

"Ryou…will you marry me?"

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*Laughs like a maniac*

* – *Shudders* Who would want some old lady's fat ass in their face?

** – It is a word! It's a weird one, I'll admit, but I thought it fit. ^^;

Review? ^_^