October Challenge Fic.

Title:- Me - I'm an ass.

Author:- Lu

Disclaimer:- Don't own anything or anyone you recognise.

Summary:- A continuation from last month's fic where Carter and Abby have had a fight.

Carter's POV

I am such an ass. Yes, me. There's no other word for me, well there probably is but at this precise moment in time I can't think of one. I stretch across to the side of the bed where she should be to feel the cold flat sheets. And it's all because of me that she isn't here in bed with me. I hate myself for what I said to her yesterday but I want to try and explain to her. Maybe she'll listen, maybe she won't. Maybe she'll turn and run and I wouldn't blame her for doing it. I'm an ass. And no matter how often I tell myself that I will still be one.

I look to the closet door and see the sight I came home to last night. We were supposed to go to a charity benefit last night but after our fight in the ER she stayed to do a double shift. I angrily walked out and headed home to get dressed. I wasn't in the mood to go and be pleasant to people but it's a family commitment that I am slowly getting used to.

When I arrived home from the ER yesterday I walked into our bedroom to see her dress hanging on the closet door. A dress I had never seen before, a dress I knew she would suit completely. A dress she would have filled to perfection, because that is what she is to me. Perfection. The colour was something I never imagined Abby buying, it was a dress I never expected Abby to buy, and now there is a possibility I will never see her in it. See I am an ass. How could I be so stupid to ruin things between us again?

Stretching I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I couldn't resist lifting the dress to my face as I past. I could almost imagine her smell in it. I could almost imagine dancing with her, holding her so close to me. Still being able to smell the stale cigarette smell from the night previous I switch the shower on and step under. I almost laugh as I realise she has turned the temperature down. She never could take my shower temperature.

I glance across at the mirror and something catches my eye as I step from the shower cubicle. Something I didn't noticed in my haze of bad mood last night. There's a note stuck to the mirror. I open the envelope and read it with a smile on my face.

John,

I don't know what I have done, but whatever it is I am sorry. Remember I love you and can't wait for you to see me in my dress tonight. See you there.

Love always Abby xx.

She is such a sweetheart and I treated her badly, I am going to have to grovel something rotten to get back in her good books for this one. Thinking to what her schedule should be I get confused. She was supposed to work yesterday and then a half shift this morning, but I wondered if she would still work her half shift after working all night.

I quickly telephoned the ER and spoke to Jerry who let me know exactly what he thought of me, but let me know that Abby would be finished by one o'clock that afternoon. I had a few hours to put my plan into action.

Abby's POV

I have just finished a gruelling 29 hour shift and I am physically and emotionally drained. My fight with John spread round the ER like wild fire. I couldn't believe that he was so mean to me. He belittled me in front of my friends and colleagues. He told me he couldn't believe we had got back together. Who was he kidding, I know he was hurting although wasn't sure why. I wish he would just have talked to me. Instead I have no clue as to where we stand.

Susan walked into the lounge just as I was finishing getting ready to go. "You off?" She asked.

"Yeah, although I don't' know where to go." I admitted. I mean could I go home after what he said to me. Then again would he be home. He could have gone to the mansion, then again, he probably didn't.

"Go to mine if you want." Susan offered as she reached into her locker and retrieved a new shirt. "It's only the childminder and the baby that's there. You'd have peace, well as much peace as Elliot will let you."

"Thanks for the offer Susan but I think I'll just go home. I can't avoid it forever." I said as I pulled my hat tighter on my head.

"What you going to say to him?" She asked.

"To be honest I don't know. I thought I had it all figured out last night but now I'm not so sure." How was I going to approach him and the subject of our argument yesterday?

Riding the EL I tried to work out what to say to him in my head. I'm sure the people riding in the same carriage as me thought I was mental. I mean I was sitting having a conversation with him in my head, but I know my head was moving as if I was in fact talking to him. I stepped off the train, only to notice that the rain had begun. Drawing my coat closer to my body I headed down the street to the home John and I share together. I glance up at the windows and notice the curtains are closed. He must be home because I remember opening them before I left for work yesterday.

Opening the door to the apartment, I can see a soft glow, unsure of where it was coming from. I glance around to see if I could see him. But no, I could see nothing apart from the faint glow from the candle on the coffee table. I walked across and saw the small note lying beside the candle. I lifted it and read it.

I'm sorry for being and ass. Forgive me. - J x.

Under his writing was a small arrow pointing in the direction of the kitchen. I headed in the direction, clutching the note in my hand. I couldn't believe that he felt remorseful about yesterday. I knew I would have to hear him out and really listen. The kitchen was lit by even more candles. A glass lay beside the main candle with what I presumed was apple juice inside. Another note lay under the glass. I lifted the glass, taking a small sip before reading the note.

Please forgive me. If I even have a chance, wear the dress.

I look over to the refrigerator and see my dress from last night hanging there. I can only stare for a good five minutes before walking over to it. I pull my coat, hat and scarf off. I look from the dress down to my current state of dress. I agree with myself that I can not talk to him looking like something you find in a garbage can. I was puked on I don't know how many times, blood splattered across my shoulder from a bleeder I caught just before I finished. I slipped out of my scrub top and wriggled out of my pants. I lifted the dress over my head and allowed it to float into position. Under where the dress had been was another arrow pointing towards the bedroom. Well it's now or never, I suppose.

I hesitated before opening the bedroom door. The door slid open as I gasped in amazement at what he had managed to achieve. I could see him standing by the window with a huge smile on his face. "You wore the dress." He commented.

I gave a little pose and a smile. "You've been busy."

"I was an ass and I wanted to make it up to you. I know it's the middle of the day but I thought the candles were a great idea."

"You were an ass and frankly I'd like to know why?" I told him as I sat down on the edge of our bed.

"I want to tell you, I really do but I don't know where to start." He said as he walked around the bed to be beside me.

"The beginning." I answer.

Carter's POV

She looks absolutely stunning in that dress. I am so glad that she he decided to put it on. But now here she is sitting in front of me looking so great, waiting for an answer. An answer that I am not sure I have. "Okay, I'll try. Yesterday was a really bad day for me. In fact the last few weeks have been bad for me. I suppose you've noticed the mood change."

"That I have." She answered as she crossed one leg over the other.

"It had a lot to do with last night. The benefit was called The Bobby Carter Leukaemia Ball. Yesterday was the anniversary of Bobby's death and I guess for some reason it really hit me this year. IN years gone by I've never had the time to think about it. Never thought I had to think about it but this year for some reason was different."

"Why do you think that?" She asked.

"I think it's because I was planning on asking you a very important question but then started to think what would happen after that question was answered and the years to come. It got me a little depressed. So I apologise."

"What question?" She asked with a twinkle and a tear in her eye.

"You really want me to ask?" She nodded. "Abigail Marjorie Lockhart, would you do me the greatest honour of becoming my wife?"

"You know that you really hurt me yesterday." I nodded. The look of hurt in her eyes yesterday was so intense it almost knocked me over. "Then you know that I can't answer that question at this precise moment in time." I could feel my face falling in front of her. "It's not to say that I'll never answer it just not at this precise moment in time." She laid her hand on my shoulder.

"I understand." I reply. Standing from where I was sitting I head towards the window and open the curtains.

"Leave them closed. I'm going to go for a sleep. I'm shattered." She tells me as she starts to take the dress off.

"Okay." I answer turning to see her standing in only her underwear. How did I ever get this girl?

She laid down in bed turning onto her side. "John." She calls me just as I reach the door.

"Yes?"

"I'll marry you." She says making me spin around to see her with her eyes closed and a smile on her face.

"But you said........." I'm speechless. Has she just agreed to marry me?

"I said not at that precise moment in time, but now feels right." She answers. "Now are you coming to join me?" She asks lifting the other side of the blanket. I jump into bed beside her drawing her close to me. "John, don't ever speak to me the way you spoke to me yesterday."

"I promise. I love you." I told her pulling her flush with me.

"I love you too."