A/N: Wow, thanks to those who reviewed. I do appreciate it. This chapter may be OOC, I wanted it to end a certain way. Hopefully Grace stays true to form, even if she'd never do any this on the show. No beta, so all the mistakes are mine.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Just had to take them around the block

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can you feel
could you love
are you further now from where you started
I bet you do enough just to get by
don't you

--- Briefly -Better Than Ezra

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Chapter 2: Promises Broken

"Visiting hours were over 15 minutes go miss, you're going to have to let the patient get some rest now"

"Yeah, ok." Joan turned her attention from the nurse who had just stuck her head in the door back to Judith.

"Your parents are coming home tonight, so they should be here in the morning. I'll bring your assignments tomorrow after school."

Judith replied with the soft sound, neither a sigh nor a snore, of those in a semi conscious state, drifting off to sleep. Joan snuck out of the room after dimming the light; with her next stop already occupying her thoughts.

---

The walk from the bus stop was a short one and the cool autumn air blew against Joan's face as she made her way down the wide sidewalk past uniformly manicured lawns. Moonlight reflected on a familiar pair of black-rimmed glasses, bouncing rhythmically up and down further down the block on the same stretch of concrete. As she neared, Joan realized God, a little girl with brown curly hair, was playing hosp-scotch in front of the Polanski's walkway.

"Shouldn't you be inside once the streetlights come on?"

The little girl stopped, pushed her glasses up her nose and tilted her head toward the house.

"She needs to tell her story, you need to convince her it's ok to do so."

Joan pointed the house, confused "who, Grace?"

"She needs to tell her story, Joan. But not to you" The little girl turned, walking away she threw the signature backward wave over her shoulder.

---

Grace Polk nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the doorbell. How dare he show up here, after sending her that sticky sweet sap fest confessional of a letter. Never mind that she had already committed it to memory in its entirety. He should know better than to force his hand like this. What did he expect her to do, forget everything, swoon into his arms and let him carry her off into the sunset?! Yea, like that'll happen.

She started her rant as soon as her hand met the doorknob. There was no way he was making it across the threshold tonight. She definitely needed more time come up with a plan; originally the plan had been avoidance, clearly that wasn't going to work.

"You have some nerve showing up her after what...

Joan didn't let her finish the sentence. She had expected Grace to be upset, but not really mad. Holding her palms out in a defensive gesture, Joan started the speech she had practiced all the way over here from the hospital.

"Look Grace, I know you're mad. And I'm truly sorry; it's just that I really need to talk to you, if you would just hear me out for...

Grace felt her heart sink in what she refused to even recognize as disappointment. So what if it's not rocket boy, but his sister instead. The fluttery adrenaline rush she'd been working on was fading fast. Damn him for doing this to her. This was definitely not part of the plan, getting all worked up over some guy. She'd have to steal herself better before school tomorrow or everything would go to hell. How dare he not show up after sending her that letter. That's it, she thought, I'm definitely loosing it. This must be how Joan felt last summer.

Joan.

Joan was still standing on her doorstep, talking, waving her hands around. Grace had no idea what she had said after 'look, Grace'

"Girardi! Is this going to be one of those long winded, estrogen educed bonding rituals that's going to take all night?"

"No, no ... not at all."

Grace raised one eyebrow at her

"Maybe."

"Probably, yeah."

Grace stepped away from the doorway and with a grand gesture allowed the door to swing wide. "Well then, come on, let's get this over with."

Joan followed her into the kitchen, stunned. She had expected a conversation at the doorway, maybe if she was lucky she could get Grace to sit on the front step and talk to her, in the house had never even crossed her mind.

Joan took a seat on one of two bar stools as Grace ducked her head into the freezer. She slid a pint of mint chip across the counter at Joan, extracting another pint of what Joan thought was Cherry Garcia for herself. Kicking the door shut, Grace rummaged for spoons. "Can't bond without ice-cream. Or so I've heard anyway."

For the second time in less than five minutes Joan was amazed. Holding the ice cream container out so Grace could read it she asked, "mint chip Grace, how do you even know mint chip is my favorite".

Looking down into her own container, mixing the contents with no real enthusiasm, Grace shrugged. "We're friends. I'm observant."

"And you just happen to have it around the house."

"Is there a point to this little visit or did you just want to take inventory of the frozen foods"

Joan smiled and pried the lid off her pint. It was things like this that made her love Grace all the more. Sure she came off as indifferent or even uncaring, but underneath she was just a really good person.

"Judith is going to be OK. I came from the hospital; they're going to let her go home Tuesday morning. You saved her life last night, Grace, Thank You. It's like you were the only one there who even noticed something was really wrong."

"Yeah, I'm hyper-vigilant that way."

"Your what?"

"Nothing, what were you saying about Judith?"

"I know you don't really like her. But try to understand, she was there for me when no one else could be and I thought I was crazy. She'd sit with me at the stupid camp and just listen to me cry. She needs me now, I have to be there for her. She doesn't have anyone else."

"What did they do to you at that camp, Joan? It's like you came back a different person "

Joan snickered around a mouthful of ice cream. "Funny you should say that, Adam said the same thing to me just this afternoon. I guess I just wasn't clear on who I was, or who I am or whatever. But I think I've got things back in perspective. Everything should be back to normal soon. Whatever normal ever really was with us anyway. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I come back from the coo-coo's nest and there's some mystery guy making you go all soft around the edges. Climbing through my window just to grill me about Adam and then taking off just like that? What's goin' on Grace?"

"There's nothing going on Girardi. Stay out of it."

Grace turned her back to Joan. Under the pretence of putting her ice cream back in the freezer she stayed with the artic air blowing against her cheeks, hoping to cool her blush before having to face her friend. Shutting the door Grace was started by Joan standing on the other side of the door holding out her ice cream container to be returned to the freezer.

"It's Luke isn't it?"

"That is by far the lamest thing you have ever said to me." Grace gave up on her protest. Just by the look on Joan's face she knew, she knew. He was so going to get it. What was he thinking, sending her that letter and then sending his sister, her friend, to test the waters after the storm. Who does that? Now Grace was getting mad. Mad was a familiar emotion, one she could deal with and process through. None of this love and hope and cheery crap, anger, anger was good.

"Did you stand over his shoulder while he wrote the damn thing too? Probably told him what to say?"

Joan was confused, satisfied with herself that she finally had the upper hand on calm, cool and collected Grace Polk, but confused.

"What are you talking about Grace? I never wrote anything, never told Luke to do anything I just figured it out on my own. I may seem self –absorbed all the time, but I can be observant too, ya know."

If there was ever a weekend that she wished would just end so she could just go back to school, this was it. Grace was fighting the urge just to kick Joan out of her house, she knew better than to let people in here. Once they get through the door, it's so much harder to get them to go away. Knowing that Joan wasn't going to drop it, no matter what she said. Grace resolved to give her as little information as possible and get her out of the house as fast as possible.

"What gave it away?"

"Well I had my suspicions when I got home and every time Luke was out of the house I could never get you to answer a phone, he'd get back and presto – you'd be there to answer my call. But I guess what clinched it for me was the first week of school; you know how he got after Friedman for giving you a hard time about Lischak; Luke doesn't normally do stuff like that."

"You're not all weirded out by this? 'Cause to tell you the truth I kinda am."

"I thought I would be, but I'm not. It's actually cool in a weird way. I mean he's still my brother, but, outside of the science geek, he's also like this whole other person I never knew existed. It'll be fun, me and Adam, you and Luke, we could like do stuff together."

"Don't go getting any ideas like this is all going to work out into some twisted incestuous Disney movie, Girardi. Me and atom boy are not going to happen."

"Grace, it's ok that you like him, and everyone knows that Luke would hand you his heart on a silver platter if you just asked. I mean, you're my best friend, he's my brother, if I don't have issues with it, why would anyone else?"

What it must be like to be Joan. Grace often pondered just how much easier life would be if she could oversimplify everything the way Joan does. It's chess, cheerleading the debate team, I'm going to try it. I like Adam, I don't like Adam, I love Adam. Everything always seemed to workout for the best though. But that was Joan and she was Grace; and Grace knew this had to stop before it got out of hand.

"I have issue with it OK? It wasn't supposed to end up like this. I mean what teenage guy is going to turn down make-out sessions with no strings attached? No, stupid gifts to buy, no prearranged locker meetings, no long, drawn out phone calls, what guy wouldn't want that? You know who? Your 'I don't follow trends' brother! With his whacked out pre-historic code of honor. He wants to get all relationshipy and talk about love and feelings when he should have just left well enough alone. I mean what is with you people, you want to talk about my feelings, he wants to talk about my feelings, what does your mother feed you in the morning?"

"Usually she tries to make us eggs or pancakes. Ooh – on Sunday's she'll put chocolate chips in the batter."

Grace was not finding this amusing at all. Joan smiled at her own joke, after getting no response from her friend. "Maybe he's not that serious. I mean it is Luke and he takes everything seriously, but maybe you just didn't read him right, what did he actually say to you? Did he say that he loves you? What did you tell him?"

"I'm not doing this with you Girardi. He never said anything. OK? Can we drop it now?"

"Nope. Sorry Grace, I'm on a mission. If he never said anything, what's got you all hot and bothered?"

"You're really not going to let this go are you?"

Joan smiled and shook her head "Nope"

"I knew I should have never should have let you in here. OK, we are friends right?"

"Sure Grace, the best"

"Just because I'm humoring you by doing this in no way means we are going to start having giggle fests on the phone, or kiss each other hello and hug each other good bye or any other of that girly crap, got it."

"Sure Grace, promise." Joan crossed her heart in mock sincerity.

Grace pulled a well worn sheet of paper from the back pocket of her jeans and handed it over to Joan. She stared out her fingernails and picked at her cuticles while Joan read Luke's letter.

"Wow"

"I know"

"Are you sure my brother wrote this? I mean this is amazing. You have to go talk to him."

"No, I don't have to do anything. And I am never talking to him again. He's violated like every clause in our agreement."

"You love him." It was a statement, not a question but Grace answered anyway.

"No ... not at all."

Joan raised one eyebrow at her

"Maybe."

Joan waited.

"Probably, yeah. But that doesn't mean that it's going to happen. In spite of this tragic little episode of show and tell, there are a lot of things that you don't know about my life and all I can say is that the geek is better off without the distraction so he and I are not going to happen. So can we please move on? "

Joan could tell that Grace was getting angry, but that was alright, because Joan was getting angry too.

"You just get to arbitrarily decide that my brother is better off with out even consulting him with all the facts. That's avoidance Grace, that's not like you. If he loves you, he has the right to make his own decisions about what he's better off with. If you love him, and I think you do, then you have an obligation to follow this through to the end. It's not fair to either of you if you don't"

Grace took up a defensive stance, throwing her arms across her chest. Praying Joan would just let this drop before she lost their friendship too.

"No one ever said life was fair."

"Damn it Grace! Don't you ever get tired of being alone? Of living life in the shadows, connecting only when it's necessary to get by? Don't you want more out of life than that? I want more for your life than that! You got Luke to sign a contract so that you could protect yourself from what ever it is that you're so scared to face. A CONTRACT, Grace that is so not normal. That is so sad. What's worse is that he cares about you so much he was willing to sign the damn thing. You need to talk to him. He'll help you through what ever it is that you're dealing with. If you don't do this Grace, you are going to regret it everyday for the rest of your life. We love you Grace, we have faith in you, why can't you have a little faith in us?"

Joan wiped the tears off her cheeks. She was sure Grace was going to hit her. Just knock her out cold right here on the kitchen floor. Then she'd probably just drag her body out to the front lawn, Joan would be waking up with the morning sprinklers she knew it.

To her surprise, Grace didn't throw punches, didn't yell, she was drying her own eyes with the cuff of her sweatshirt and writing something on piece of scratch paper.

"Wait here" was all she said and left Joan alone in the kitchen. Peering down on the counter Joan read:

Went to Girardi's to work on Physics

Don't know how late I'll be. Don't wait

up. I've got my phone.

-G

Grace returned with her lab notes and AP Physics book in hand. She grabbed Joan by the sleeve and pulled her out of the house.

"Come on. If I don't do this tonight I'm gonna loose my nerve and if we don't get out of here while the Rabbi's still gone, I won't get out at all."

---

Joan squinted through the living room windows trying to ascertain where everyone was in the house. Sneaking Grace in was going to require subterfuge and as it was turning out, Joan was a terrible liar.

"OK, Mom, Dad and Kevin are all sitting around the kitchen table. The dining room and living room lights are off, so when I open the door, sneak behind me up the stairs and wait in my room. I'll be up as soon as I can."

Joan unlocked the front door and Grace quietly made her way up the darkened stairway to Joan's room. She shut the door and began to pace. What the hell am I doing here? How could I let her talk me into this? There is absolutely no way this is going to turn out well. I could just climb out her window like I did the other night, I'll be home before she even makes it up stairs.

Grace had one foot ready to go out the window when Joan opened her bedroom door.

"Nope. None of that tonight. Come on, Luke's in his room studying. I'll sneak you up while everyone is still down stairs."

Every hair on Grace's head began to vibrate as they crossed the threshold to the attic stairs. She left sick to her stomach and light headed. There was absolutely no way she'd be able to do this. A quarter of the way up she reached for Joan's arm and whispered to her pleadingly.

"I changed my mind, there is no way I'm going to be able to do this."

Joan tugged at Grace's arm, trying to gently encourage her up. She whispered back.

"Grace, you are like the strongest person I know. You can do this and will do this now come on."

Just as they turned to start climbing again, Luke's voice came from inside his room getting louder as he approached the stairs. Grace made as if to bolt and Joan grabbed her arm to keep her at least in place if not moving forward.

"Joan are you talking to yourself again? I'll cover for you if you want. If Mom and Dad find out, they're going to send you back to that cam...p"

Luke was standing at the top of the steps, looking down at his sister and Grace Polk a third of the way from the top. Joan grabbed Grace's arm and hauled her up the remaining steps, pushing Luke out of the way as they reached the top. She turned toward her brother.

"Mom and Dad don't know she's here so keep it down ok? When you guys are done, get her back down to my room and I'll figure out a way to get her home. Oh and Luke, Don't say I never did anything for you." She patted him lightly on the cheek.

Turning on Grace. Joan simply handed the letter back to her friend and, before making her way back down to her own room; even though she promised she'd never do it, she hugged Grace goodbye.

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TBC